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moonflower

Okay who is pregnant?

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20 hours ago, EmseB said:

The problem is that by the time I want the epidural, actually want it, it's usually too late and I'm pushing. At least for the last two babies I went from unbearable to baby out in less than an hour. My first labor was the longest and you're right, I definitely wouldn't go 24hrs without one again! My #4 took less than four hours, though. I'll have to see how/if they are going to do the induction.

I was given one when I was in transition because the midwife still didn't really believe I was in labour so didn't check until after the epidural.  It was a quick and dirty labour and they were more concerned with keeping the monitor on so they would know if my c section scar ruptured than anything else.

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Congratulations to all! My reaction to the thread title was 1-2-3-Not It! 😄

I will spare you the details of DS's birth, which would provide no one an incentive to continue reproducing.

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Congratulations!  I had no idea so many were expecting......

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On 8/14/2019 at 10:28 PM, EmseB said:

Congrats to all!

I am almost 32 weeks with #5. Everything is going well except I have some kind of spd or something out of alignment that is making the left side of my pelvis and my left leg extremely painful all the time. I think most chiropractors are quacks, but I'm seriously ready to try and find one that can fix this, or a physical therapist if I can get the insurance to work out. I feel like this has to be our last one because this pain gets worse and comes in sooner every time. I don't know that my pelvis would hold another after this, haha. Old gray mare ain't what she used to be!

I have had four non-medicated births, on purpose, lol, but they are talking induction at 39w because of advanced maternal age so I might go for the epidural this time if they do that. I watched a video of one being put in, though, and it made me feel very NOPE.

 

1. Chiro did help me, but yes, a lot are quacks. Find one that does a LOT of pregnant women. A good way is to check who is certified in the Webster technique, although there are good ones that are not. If they have a zillion ads on their website about car accidents, skip them. And PT is a great idea. Also, not pregnant, but the pain from my pelvis that started in pregnancy has gotten better from the Hab-It pelvic floor exercises (you can stream them or get DVDs). Not going to lie, got busy, and only ever watched the intro DVD with the posture exercises and that alone fixed a lot of my problems! Really need to do the rest.

2. Regarding advanced maternal age: I'm a huge data/research geek and was 41 when I gave birth last time, and go late every time, so researched the heck out of this topic. I'm happy to share links/findings/thoughts if you would like. I was just going to link but then remembered that it is not nice to push info on pregnant women 🙂  But the basics are that a woman who has had a child before (multipara) has a lower risk of stillbirth even at advanced maternal age than a first time mom who is not of advanced maternal age. So...if they don't induce all first time moms at 39 weeks for fear of stillbirth, then it makes no sense to do it for older moms who have had previous kids, as their risk is LOWER. That said, I'm also about safety and started doing full biophysical profiles weekly at 38 weeks (not just an NST - those are not as sensitive and have false positives, false negatives, etc). There is good research on the risk of stillbirth and biophysical profiles, basically if you have a perfect biophysical profile the risk is virtually zero for the next however many days. So we did that, plus more frequent (twice a week) visits at 41 weeks, then at 42 weeks I went in to the hospital for the biophysical plus a longer NST plus full lab work. All was perfect, they said the issue was I was too good at being pregnant) so I checked out AMA with a promise to come back the next day to be induced if I wasn't in labor. Went into labor on the way home, lol. Had the baby 2 hours later. Anyway, I can share research if you are not comfortable with induction that early - for me I was not mostly because I had one 38 weaker who really struggled and was obviously not quite ready, and 2 that went to 41 weeks 5 days who were much healthier, happier, easier to feed, more ready to be born, so I was worried being induced that early would give me a not ready baby. Plus, I was on my 3rd VBAC and preferred not to induce due to the added risk. 

On 8/15/2019 at 12:24 PM, Arctic Mama said:

Birth sucks, but I admit all but one of my vaginal birth kids I felt really pumped afterward and cheerful.  Total adrenaline and oxytocin high.  One of my easier births I actually was mad eat her when she came out - just really offended at how much of a stinker she was with the positioning.  I think I glared through the first five minutes together 😂 

My epidural birth was still my worst vaginal birth, but also the one I felt the most victorious after (my first vbac).  First c section was awful but the last one actually went well, except for the spiking blood pressure and not being anesthetized enough.  Feeling the whole thing honestly is freaking me out a bit for another c section, because that was atrocious.  But I know they couldn’t do too much painkilling because of the HELLP.  I even recall the anesthesiologist apologetically telling me that, but I missed it at the time 🙄

A big part of me wants to do a vaginal birth again since I felt totally robbed last time, but it was necessary and the threshold for another c section is SO low it’s almost a given they’d push for a c section in the middle of it anyway.  Sigh.  I need to talk about it with the MFM team.

Oh, Arctic Mama! First, I am So so so so happy for you! I feel this baby is meant to be. That said, I can only imagine you have some big complicated feelings, although maybe not the time to dwell on them. And having had VBACs and C-sections and knowing the mental strain that goes with fighting for a VBAC, and being of a practical bent regarding the realities I'm happy to chat any time if you want a sounding board that won't judge either direction.Oh, and the anesthesia didn't work right in my c-section either...I had a window where the epidural didn't take, so get that as well.  I can see how you have good reasons to go either way, both emotional and physical. And at least if you have surgery, you have so many people to help care for you. But yeah, that's a complicated decision in a lot of ways. Big support and hugs whichever you decide. 

On 8/15/2019 at 2:34 PM, moonflower said:

 

That's true, there is a sting, but for me that sting is like 1 on the scale of 1 to 10 for pain and my contractions by the time I get the epidural are about a 6 or 7, so I barely notice.

Yeah, I was terrified of an epidural. I did have one, with my first birth, right before my c-section. I didn't feel it, but I was in transition, so yeah. Afterwards I did offer to marry the anesthesiologist, lol. In my opinion if you are thinking the epidural insertion is bad you aren't far enough in labor to need one, lol. (I know that isn't actually true...more of a joke). That said, I didn't have one again. I might if I went to the hospital for birth though...at home it isn't an option, and if it was I might have taken it a few times, lol. I need to move in labor, and need to be in the shower, and if I couldn't do that I might need the epidural. Mostly I hate pushing though, so by then I assume it is too late. What i'd REALLY like is the option for gas and air during pushing, like the UK has. ONE hospital in Florida has it, but they are 2 hours away and my last labor was under 2 hours...so...yeah. 

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6 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

2. Regarding advanced maternal age: I'm a huge data/research geek and was 41 when I gave birth last time, and go late every time, so researched the heck out of this topic. I'm happy to share links/findings/thoughts if you would like. I was just going to link but then remembered that it is not nice to push info on pregnant women 🙂  But the basics are that a woman who has had a child before (multipara) has a lower risk of stillbirth even at advanced maternal age than a first time mom who is not of advanced maternal age. So...if they don't induce all first time moms at 39 weeks for fear of stillbirth, then it makes no sense to do it for older moms who have had previous kids, as their risk is LOWER. That said, I'm also about safety and started doing full biophysical profiles weekly at 38 weeks (not just an NST - those are not as sensitive and have false positives, false negatives, etc). There is good research on the risk of stillbirth and biophysical profiles, basically if you have a perfect biophysical profile the risk is virtually zero for the next however many days. So we did that, plus more frequent (twice a week) visits at 41 weeks, then at 42 weeks I went in to the hospital for the biophysical plus a longer NST plus full lab work. All was perfect, they said the issue was I was too good at being pregnant) so I checked out AMA with a promise to come back the next day to be induced if I wasn't in labor. Went into labor on the way home, lol. Had the baby 2 hours later. Anyway, I can share research if you are not comfortable with induction that early - for me I was not mostly because I had one 38 weaker who really struggled and was obviously not quite ready, and 2 that went to 41 weeks 5 days who were much healthier, happier, easier to feed, more ready to be born, so I was worried being induced that early would give me a not ready baby. Plus, I was on my 3rd VBAC and preferred not to induce due to the added risk. 

Thanks for taking the time to type all this out. It's all the stuff I've been mulling over and reading for the last few months and trying to make up my mind on what to do. Due to the way my care is set up (Tricare insurance/military OB clinic on base but delivering in a civvie hospital that's 30 mins away), I'm honestly not sure how feasible it will be to get them to agree to BPPs. I am going to be getting NSTs starting at 36 weeks, with a BPP following if indicators aren't what they want to see.

I do have the same concerns about baby being ready. I really think my body will just kick into gear if it's given a kick-start, but I do worry about how ready this guy is. All of my kiddos have come before 41 weeks. The boys have tended later than the girl, but my 1st came just before his due date like his sister, so it's hard to say. I don't really want him to come out before he's ready to nurse well and has a mature-ish little system.

All that to say is that I don't really know what I'm going to do. Part of me is just tired. Tired of being pregnant, tired of worrying through the last few weeks of pregnancy, tired of trying to negotiate terms with doctors when I do know all the numbers and risks and my own mind, but you know, this guy has delivered two or three thousand babies and I know his motive is not nefarious. He is not the stereotypical try-and-schedule-the-induction-to-make-it-to-the-golf-course. I know he believes that it's in my and the baby's best interest and that it really won't be a problem to induce a week before my due date. But also there is a big part of me that does not feel right about picking baby's bday for him without any other indications of problems. I think/hope that when it comes down to it that I'll just be comfortable with whatever we decide, and maybe baby will come on his own time and I won't have to  decide anything!!

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30 minutes ago, EmseB said:

Thanks for taking the time to type all this out. It's all the stuff I've been mulling over and reading for the last few months and trying to make up my mind on what to do. Due to the way my care is set up (Tricare insurance/military OB clinic on base but delivering in a civvie hospital that's 30 mins away), I'm honestly not sure how feasible it will be to get them to agree to BPPs. I am going to be getting NSTs starting at 36 weeks, with a BPP following if indicators aren't what they want to see.

I do have the same concerns about baby being ready. I really think my body will just kick into gear if it's given a kick-start, but I do worry about how ready this guy is. All of my kiddos have come before 41 weeks. The boys have tended later than the girl, but my 1st came just before his due date like his sister, so it's hard to say. I don't really want him to come out before he's ready to nurse well and has a mature-ish little system.

All that to say is that I don't really know what I'm going to do. Part of me is just tired. Tired of being pregnant, tired of worrying through the last few weeks of pregnancy, tired of trying to negotiate terms with doctors when I do know all the numbers and risks and my own mind, but you know, this guy has delivered two or three thousand babies and I know his motive is not nefarious. He is not the stereotypical try-and-schedule-the-induction-to-make-it-to-the-golf-course. I know he believes that it's in my and the baby's best interest and that it really won't be a problem to induce a week before my due date. But also there is a big part of me that does not feel right about picking baby's bday for him without any other indications of problems. I think/hope that when it comes down to it that I'll just be comfortable with whatever we decide, and maybe baby will come on his own time and I won't have to  decide anything!!

One thing to remember is that an induction is likely to go better for you, too, having had previous children.  If you do get one, you’re likely to have a good outcome.  I know it’s scary and frustrating but but it’s really minor in the scheme of things, I think. If you’re dead set against an induction I would demand monitoring in its place - even tricare shouldn’t have a huge issue with it since you have AMA as your reason?  

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2 hours ago, EmseB said:

Thanks for taking the time to type all this out. It's all the stuff I've been mulling over and reading for the last few months and trying to make up my mind on what to do. Due to the way my care is set up (Tricare insurance/military OB clinic on base but delivering in a civvie hospital that's 30 mins away), I'm honestly not sure how feasible it will be to get them to agree to BPPs. I am going to be getting NSTs starting at 36 weeks, with a BPP following if indicators aren't what they want to see.

I do have the same concerns about baby being ready. I really think my body will just kick into gear if it's given a kick-start, but I do worry about how ready this guy is. All of my kiddos have come before 41 weeks. The boys have tended later than the girl, but my 1st came just before his due date like his sister, so it's hard to say. I don't really want him to come out before he's ready to nurse well and has a mature-ish little system.

All that to say is that I don't really know what I'm going to do. Part of me is just tired. Tired of being pregnant, tired of worrying through the last few weeks of pregnancy, tired of trying to negotiate terms with doctors when I do know all the numbers and risks and my own mind, but you know, this guy has delivered two or three thousand babies and I know his motive is not nefarious. He is not the stereotypical try-and-schedule-the-induction-to-make-it-to-the-golf-course. I know he believes that it's in my and the baby's best interest and that it really won't be a problem to induce a week before my due date. But also there is a big part of me that does not feel right about picking baby's bday for him without any other indications of problems. I think/hope that when it comes down to it that I'll just be comfortable with whatever we decide, and maybe baby will come on his own time and I won't have to  decide anything!!

I think doctors see the immediate issues - so to them baby comes a week or two earlier than it should, no big deal, it's not in the NICU, so fine. They don't see the two weeks of struggling to feed, the trips to the pediatrician for weight checks  due to concerns about not getting enough milk, the long days and nights of crying because they are just disorganized and not ready to deal with all the stimulation, etc etc. So for them, there is no real downside, you know? So no nefarious purposes, just different perspective. 

2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

One thing to remember is that an induction is likely to go better for you, too, having had previous children.  If you do get one, you’re likely to have a good outcome.  I know it’s scary and frustrating but but it’s really minor in the scheme of things, I think. If you’re dead set against an induction I would demand monitoring in its place - even tricare shouldn’t have a huge issue with it since you have AMA as your reason?  

Very true. Honestly, I was ready to be induced with the last one, and had given myself 12 hours more to go into labor. And if for some chance I got pregnant now, at age 43, I'm sure that induction may be on the table, but I'd be pushing for those BPP just because I know my babies and they cook late and seem to need that extra time, so if I CAN give to them, I want to. But if anything looked at all amiss or not optimal I'd do the induction and feel assured that given how many times I've been in labor I'd kick into it fairly well. My concern is much more for baby - and that's again due to going to 42 weeks or close to it, myself born 3 weeks late, etc. 

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2 hours ago, EmseB said:

Thanks for taking the time to type all this out. It's all the stuff I've been mulling over and reading for the last few months and trying to make up my mind on what to do. Due to the way my care is set up (Tricare insurance/military OB clinic on base but delivering in a civvie hospital that's 30 mins away), I'm honestly not sure how feasible it will be to get them to agree to BPPs. I am going to be getting NSTs starting at 36 weeks, with a BPP following if indicators aren't what they want to see.

I do have the same concerns about baby being ready. I really think my body will just kick into gear if it's given a kick-start, but I do worry about how ready this guy is. All of my kiddos have come before 41 weeks. The boys have tended later than the girl, but my 1st came just before his due date like his sister, so it's hard to say. I don't really want him to come out before he's ready to nurse well and has a mature-ish little system.

All that to say is that I don't really know what I'm going to do. Part of me is just tired. Tired of being pregnant, tired of worrying through the last few weeks of pregnancy, tired of trying to negotiate terms with doctors when I do know all the numbers and risks and my own mind, but you know, this guy has delivered two or three thousand babies and I know his motive is not nefarious. He is not the stereotypical try-and-schedule-the-induction-to-make-it-to-the-golf-course. I know he believes that it's in my and the baby's best interest and that it really won't be a problem to induce a week before my due date. But also there is a big part of me that does not feel right about picking baby's bday for him without any other indications of problems. I think/hope that when it comes down to it that I'll just be comfortable with whatever we decide, and maybe baby will come on his own time and I won't have to  decide anything!!

I think doctors see the immediate issues - so to them baby comes a week or two earlier than it should, no big deal, it's not in the NICU, so fine. They don't see the two weeks of struggling to feed, the trips to the pediatrician for weight checks  due to concerns about not getting enough milk, the long days and nights of crying because they are just disorganized and not ready to deal with all the stimulation, etc etc. So for them, there is no real downside, you know? So no nefarious purposes, just different perspective. 

2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

One thing to remember is that an induction is likely to go better for you, too, having had previous children.  If you do get one, you’re likely to have a good outcome.  I know it’s scary and frustrating but but it’s really minor in the scheme of things, I think. If you’re dead set against an induction I would demand monitoring in its place - even tricare shouldn’t have a huge issue with it since you have AMA as your reason?  

Very true. Honestly, I was ready to be induced with the last one, and had given myself 12 hours more to go into labor. And if for some chance I got pregnant now, at age 43, I'm sure that induction may be on the table, but I'd be pushing for those BPP just because I know my babies and they cook late and seem to need that extra time, so if I CAN give to them, I want to. But if anything looked at all amiss or not optimal I'd do the induction and feel assured that given how many times I've been in labor I'd kick into it fairly well. My concern is much more for baby - and that's again due to going to 42 weeks or close to it, myself born 3 weeks late, etc. 

I can't imagine if you say, "I want it documented in my chart that I requested a biophysical profile and was denied" that they won't cave - no one wants that documented and then have the legal risk of anything happening and they didn't monitor when they could have. 

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17 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

I think doctors see the immediate issues - so to them baby comes a week or two earlier than it should, no big deal, it's not in the NICU, so fine. They don't see the two weeks of struggling to feed, the trips to the pediatrician for weight checks  due to concerns about not getting enough milk, the long days and nights of crying because they are just disorganized and not ready to deal with all the stimulation, etc etc. So for them, there is no real downside, you know? So no nefarious purposes, just different perspective. 

Very true. Honestly, I was ready to be induced with the last one, and had given myself 12 hours more to go into labor. And if for some chance I got pregnant now, at age 43, I'm sure that induction may be on the table, but I'd be pushing for those BPP just because I know my babies and they cook late and seem to need that extra time, so if I CAN give to them, I want to. But if anything looked at all amiss or not optimal I'd do the induction and feel assured that given how many times I've been in labor I'd kick into it fairly well. My concern is much more for baby - and that's again due to going to 42 weeks or close to it, myself born 3 weeks late, etc. 

That’s good to know too.  My last three have all come well before 40 weeks and I don’t think Benjamin would have come much later even without the distress and hypoxia.  My 41 and 42 week babies were well cooked but my non-drama 37 and 38 weekers were fine, too.  One advantage of being a mom of a few kids is knowing a bit of your body and history that can inform your decisions.  

If you tend to need more time, push for that.  Do better laboring upright or on your side?  Push for it.  Me, I have a weird pelvis and can’t get kids under it without being full lithotomy - lucky me, but at least now I know, right?

Any doctor or midwife worth their salt is not going to ignore the experience of a mother who has been through this before.  Those insights can be priceless, they can mean the difference between smooth vs complicated or even life and death.

I’m praying you and your doctor can come to a meeting of minds on this.  I’m so sorry for your stress, @EmseB

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3 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

That’s good to know too.  My last three have all come well before 40 weeks and I don’t think Benjamin would have come much later even without the distress and hypoxia.  My 41 and 42 week babies were well cooked but my non-drama 37 and 38 weekers were fine, too.  One advantage of being a mom of a few kids is knowing a bit of your body and history that can inform your decisions.  

If you tend to need more time, push for that.  Do better laboring upright or on your side?  Push for it.  Me, I have a weird pelvis and can’t get kids under it without being full lithotomy - lucky me, but at least now I know, right?

Any doctor or midwife worth their salt is not going to ignore the experience of a mother who has been through this before.  Those insights can be priceless, they can mean the difference between smooth vs complicated or even life and death.

I’m praying you and your doctor can come to a meeting of minds on this.  I’m so sorry for your stress, @EmseB

Aw, thank you. I probably sound more stressed online than in real life because I can type out all my thoughts here and vent about EVERYTHING I'm thinking. I am, overall, not too worried because I feel like I have a good handle on the information and risks associated with different options and even if I do what the doctor prefers, I'm not doing it without awareness. I also think that either way, there is so much out of my control that whatever I/we decide I just have to take a leap of faith, if that makes sense.

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First ultrasound today, both to determine dates as my LMP was a guess and I'm still nursing anyway, and because I haven't felt pregnant at all - no symptoms, nada - and I was nervous after last time.  I was about 75% convinced there would be no baby, or no heartbeat, or something terrible, I don't know.  

But all is well 🙂  10 weeks 1 day today (so my dates were a bit off, which is good to know for induction purposes at the end) and it's a tiny squirmy baby in there with a heartbeat and everything.  No word on girl or boy but I feel pretty strongly it will be a boy and I think out of 7 I've only been wrong once if that.  We are thinking Theodore.  

I have to say it's amazing what you take for granted - the 10 weekish scan, when I had one before, was always just sort of ho-hum.  Can't see much, and I was always so sure there was a living baby in there, so no big deal.  But this time, just seeing the little heart beating, before the tech even said anything - it was wonderful.  and I am feeling pretty grateful.

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Well, I celebrated too soon.  I am A+ and my husband is O-, but my antibody screening was positive.  I'm going in tomorrow to have more blood drawn for a more comprehensive test to see what the antibodies are for, exactly (and it might be nothing).

But, I was transfused 4 months ago in an emergency situation with non-crossmatched blood (2 units of O-).  Too much googling has frightened me.  It could be nothing, a fluke.  It could be not a severe reaction and easily treatable or not need treatment.  It could be more serious.

Being pregnant is not for the faint of heart, and to be honest I'm kind of faint of heart about these kinds of things.

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33 minutes ago, moonflower said:

Well, I celebrated too soon.  I am A+ and my husband is O-, but my antibody screening was positive.  I'm going in tomorrow to have more blood drawn for a more comprehensive test to see what the antibodies are for, exactly (and it might be nothing).

But, I was transfused 4 months ago in an emergency situation with non-crossmatched blood (2 units of O-).  Too much googling has frightened me.  It could be nothing, a fluke.  It could be not a severe reaction and easily treatable or not need treatment.  It could be more serious.

Being pregnant is not for the faint of heart, and to be honest I'm kind of faint of heart about these kinds of things.

 

I looked up “antibody screening,” which led to “Hemolytic disease of the newborn,” which I think was the most confusing Wikipedia article I’ve ever tried to read...  Good luck with your testing tomorrow.  I hope they can give you meaningful answers quickly.  You are so right, pregnancy is not for the faint of heart!  

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2 hours ago, moonflower said:

Well, I celebrated too soon.  I am A+ and my husband is O-, but my antibody screening was positive.  I'm going in tomorrow to have more blood drawn for a more comprehensive test to see what the antibodies are for, exactly (and it might be nothing).

But, I was transfused 4 months ago in an emergency situation with non-crossmatched blood (2 units of O-).  Too much googling has frightened me.  It could be nothing, a fluke.  It could be not a severe reaction and easily treatable or not need treatment.  It could be more serious.

Being pregnant is not for the faint of heart, and to be honest I'm kind of faint of heart about these kinds of things.

Prayers and hugs for you and baby! 

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5 hours ago, moonflower said:

Well, I celebrated too soon.  I am A+ and my husband is O-, but my antibody screening was positive.  I'm going in tomorrow to have more blood drawn for a more comprehensive test to see what the antibodies are for, exactly (and it might be nothing).

But, I was transfused 4 months ago in an emergency situation with non-crossmatched blood (2 units of O-).  Too much googling has frightened me.  It could be nothing, a fluke.  It could be not a severe reaction and easily treatable or not need treatment.  It could be more serious.

Being pregnant is not for the faint of heart, and to be honest I'm kind of faint of heart about these kinds of things.

Sending prayers.........

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It was nothing to worry about!  It wasn't even as bad as what I had thought was the best case scenario. 

(20+ solid hours of googling and freaking out later)

 

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7 hours ago, moonflower said:

It was nothing to worry about!  It wasn't even as bad as what I had thought was the best case scenario. 

(20+ solid hours of googling and freaking out later)

 

I'm so glad!

Also, jealous! I was at Cubscouts last night and there was a little baby, maybe 3-4 months, and she was just so squishy looking it was KILLING ME! I could feel my ovaries ramping up, lol. I would have sworn I was fine being done, but man...you see that and remember why you do it. If I wasn't 43 years old I'm sure I'd be bugging DH for another one!. 

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I'm almost 18 weeks and still don't have a damn doctor, but today I should find out if my best lead will accept me as a patient. Thankfully I have had all the blood work done and never really cared about the early ultrasound.

This whole ordeal has just solidified my decision to get a tubal ligation and have dh get a vasectomy. I've been very much opposed to permanent sterilization but this is all too stressful to go through again. 

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11 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

I'm almost 18 weeks and still don't have a damn doctor, but today I should find out if my best lead will accept me as a patient. Thankfully I have had all the blood work done and never really cared about the early ultrasound.

This whole ordeal has just solidified my decision to get a tubal ligation and have dh get a vasectomy. I've been very much opposed to permanent sterilization but this is all too stressful to go through again. 

Do you live in rural area? From what I understand there is a terrible need for quality medical care in rural areas.   How frustrating.  I'm sorry it has been so hard to find a good doctor.  Hope this lead works out

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5 minutes ago, PrincessMommy said:

Do you live in rural area? From what I understand there is a terrible need for quality medical care in rural areas.   How frustrating.  I'm sorry it has been so hard to find a good doctor.  Hope this lead works out

Yes I do but that isn't the issue because Baltimore is an hour away so I've been looking for Dr there. The first I saw dropped me because I'm too high risk. She then referred me to a Dr that doesn't accept my insurance. Multiple other Dr aren't taking new patients and the ones that do either won't take me or I'm still jumping through hoops to figure out if they will take me. It is ridiculous.

 

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Do you have Kaiser or some other stinker of a plan?

My advice, and I’ve done this before, is call them and say “what MFM/perinatologist” is in network for us?  If they cannot find one within a 75-ish mile radius, you should be able to appeal for coverage under an out of network doctor in lieu of in network, due to medical necessity and accessibility.

 

It’s a pain, but you just have to go up the chain, generally.

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ugh, that sounds stressful.  I had a very mildly similar thing happen with my last pregnancy, where I found an ob-gyn and had a first appt. (a month in the future, of course), and everything, but when my records were forwarded they called and cancelled, saying I was too high risk.

I'd had gestational diabetes with my previous pregnancy, but it was well controlled with diet and presented exactly zero problems.

I can't believe you can't find someone in Baltimore, here's hoping your current best lead takes you.  

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58 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

Do you have Kaiser or some other stinker of a plan?

My advice, and I’ve done this before, is call them and say “what MFM/perinatologist” is in network for us?  If they cannot find one within a 75-ish mile radius, you should be able to appeal for coverage under an out of network doctor in lieu of in network, due to medical necessity and accessibility.

 

It’s a pain, but you just have to go up the chain, generally.

 

The bolded is my next step.  I have state insurance and my provider is Aetna which normally shouldn't be an issue but apparently it is a new provider this year so very few places accept it.  Had I known that I would have chosen a different provider.  I am still in the window to change providers so I've been calling dr that take other providers and will switch once someone actually accepts me as a patient.  It is all really stupid and frustrating.  

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50 minutes ago, moonflower said:

I can't believe you can't find someone in Baltimore, here's hoping your current best lead takes you.  

 

Well I still have a LONG list of places to call if this one doesn't pan out.  I also have the issue that I need a hospital with a high level NICU because of my experience with my youngest needing to be there.  The practice I'm currently waiting for a call from is associated with the University of Maryland Medical Center so even if they can't take me they should be helpful finding me a dr in their system that can.

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Yeah I’m pleased my practice didn’t have any issues with me being high risk.  But they’re the local OB practice that co operates closest with the MFM group that attends the hospital I need, so I figured they’d have a good working relationship.  They’re being super careful and treating me like a pin-less grenade, but no talk of ditching me because of high risk.  They just referred me on to the other practice and the two will both see me this whole pregnancy, unless things go sideways enough that I’d be turned over to the perinatologists entirely.

I had a practice in AK ditch me at 36 weeks pregnant because too many of the nurse midwives decided they were too freaked out by a VBAC to help me.  That was fun.  I ended up with a doula and a local OB who was cool taking me on last minute (legally I’m not sure he had much of a choice 🤔) and it all worked out, but it is SO STRESSFUL when there are shenanigans like that.

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Other than providers, how is everyone  doing?

I am 36.5w, baby is head down, we're both healthy, so all good.

Except I'm so exhausted I can barely function. I just want naps, all the time, but not exactly possible. I can't wait to meet this little guy and not be preggo anymore. 

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I'm stressed because of all the provider issues but as far as I know the pregnancy is going well.  Passed my blood glucose test, nausea is gone, feeling baby move most days, blood pressure is good, and I'm not anemic yet.

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I have to pee in a bottle over the course of 24 hours so the lab can test me for too much protein. I've been having visual disturbances and a mild but persistent headache, so there's some concern about preeclampsia even though I have normal/borderline low blood pressure. I admit, I don't fully understand all of it, but I'm doing what I'm told. I'm only 28 weeks, so I'm just trying to not freak out unnecessarily. My doc also told me it's imperative that I reduce stress as much as possible. With 4 kids under ten, three of whom are students this year and one of whom is a toddler, and working part time, I just kind of goggled at her. But I am giving myself permission to lay on the couch and hang out here more often, so that's reducing stress, right? 🤣🤣🤣

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14 minutes ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

I have to pee in a bottle over the course of 24 hours so the lab can test me for too much protein. I've been having visual disturbances and a mild but persistent headache, so there's some concern about preeclampsia even though I have normal/borderline low blood pressure. I admit, I don't fully understand all of it, but I'm doing what I'm told. I'm only 28 weeks, so I'm just trying to not freak out unnecessarily. My doc also told me it's imperative that I reduce stress as much as possible. With 4 kids under ten, three of whom are students this year and one of whom is a toddler, and working part time, I just kind of goggled at her. But I am giving myself permission to lay on the couch and hang out here more often, so that's reducing stress, right? 🤣🤣🤣

please take care of yourself.  When I was pregnant and had hyper-emesis I spent weeks on the couch.  Kids turned out fine...and they're all gainfully employed.  It will be okay if they miss some time from school.  

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1 hour ago, PrincessMommy said:

please take care of yourself.  When I was pregnant and had hyper-emesis I spent weeks on the couch.  Kids turned out fine...and they're all gainfully employed.  It will be okay if they miss some time from school.  

Thank you. I am taking care of myself, I promise. My ITT friends help me remember this, too. I aim for a minimum standard and then let it go. I'll be happy to meet this little boy and put pregnancy behind me!

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If you have pre-e, there is nothing you did to bring it on and nothing you can do to improve it - it is entirely a fluke of the body, placenta, genetics, etc.  NO GUILT, this is not your fault.  They can manage symptoms and try to keep you pregnant as long as possible and many ladies can make it a few more weeks, but the average time from diagnosis to delivery is generally two weeks.

There is a WONDERFUL Facebook group for pre e and HELLP syndrome survivors that is full of information and @happypamama can tell you more.  They have been a wealth of information and support for me with this post-HELLP pregnancy.  The good news is that 28-30 weekers have really great prognoses these days compared to even ten years ago, and you could certainly remain pregnant longer than that.

Also, lots of symptoms of pre e and HELLP are also normal pregnancy symptoms, so it could be that you have some symptoms clustering for other pregnancy reasons and NOT develop into those metabolic conditions. Knowledge is power though - I really recommend researching in the group and keeping up with your doctor on any new developments. 

Edited by Arctic Mama
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2 hours ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

I have to pee in a bottle over the course of 24 hours so the lab can test me for too much protein. I've been having visual disturbances and a mild but persistent headache, so there's some concern about preeclampsia even though I have normal/borderline low blood pressure. I admit, I don't fully understand all of it, but I'm doing what I'm told. I'm only 28 weeks, so I'm just trying to not freak out unnecessarily. My doc also told me it's imperative that I reduce stress as much as possible. With 4 kids under ten, three of whom are students this year and one of whom is a toddler, and working part time, I just kind of goggled at her. But I am giving myself permission to lay on the couch and hang out here more often, so that's reducing stress, right? 🤣🤣🤣

 

I got this same lecture when I had pre-eclampsia with my first; I was still in college and the last few weeks of pregnancy were the last few weeks of finals, writing papers, etc.  I gave my midwife the same look-  like, are you kidding?  Sure, I'll write all of my term papers from the couch. (which I did).  But it didn't exactly reduce stress.

agreeing with ArcticMama that 28 weeks is not as early as it used to be, and 30 weeks definitely isn't.  

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Oh as for pregnancy, I’m ten weeks now and have my NTT and ultrasound stuff with the MFM in two weeks.  Symptoms are mostly manageable, exhaustion and nausea are the worst.  Finally told the kids and they seemed excited too.

Obviously the specter of HELLP is lurking in the back of my mind, but I’d say my anxiety is mostly under control.  I’m still really concerned about another c section vs VBAC and that’s one it the main things I’ll be asking the specialist about.

I am starting to feel weirdly DONE, too.  Is that strange to say?  I thought I wanted more kids before this pregnancy and we planned on another one or two, but it does feel increasingly like a dice roll and I’m feeling my age and body wear and tear more now than with previous babies.  Extra body weight is also making it hard.  I’m not 100% sure yet but this is the strongest I’ve ever leaned toward sterilization for one of us (it would probably be me with a c section because we are already in there, we shall see). I’m stuck between feeling done on several levels, which I’ve NEVER felt before, and freaking out about possibly regretting that in five or ten years.  Hmmm....

So yeah.  All in all I feel pretty good, though I have fears and concerns still working through my system.  And now the odd feeling this might be The Last One and that I’d actually be okay with that.  Even typing it out feels confronting 😆

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8 hours ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

I have to pee in a bottle over the course of 24 hours so the lab can test me for too much protein. I've been having visual disturbances and a mild but persistent headache, so there's some concern about preeclampsia even though I have normal/borderline low blood pressure. I admit, I don't fully understand all of it, but I'm doing what I'm told. I'm only 28 weeks, so I'm just trying to not freak out unnecessarily. My doc also told me it's imperative that I reduce stress as much as possible. With 4 kids under ten, three of whom are students this year and one of whom is a toddler, and working part time, I just kind of goggled at her. But I am giving myself permission to lay on the couch and hang out here more often, so that's reducing stress, right? 🤣🤣🤣

Hugs, @ThatBookwormMom, and thank you, @Arctic Mama, for the tag. I'm sorry I just now saw this; I don't get here as often as I used to, mainly because all my spare time goes to modding said Facebook group. 🤣 But yes, shoot me a PM, and I will hook you up. 

 

Reducing stress is great in general, but rest and reducing stress will not prevent, stop, reverse, or slow preeclampsia or gestational hypertension. They are completely out of your hands because they are caused by a conflict between mom and the placenta. 

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Thanks, you guys. I will definitely follow up with the fb group! I'll be honest, I've been ignoring it as much as possible until my doc tells me there's something found. It's probably not the best strategy, but it keeps me going. Thank you for the reassurance that even if it is preeclampsia, it isn't something I've done to bring it on. I'll keep reminding myself of that. The test is next week, and I'll be sure to let y'all know what happens. I'm under strict orders to rest, drink more water, reduce stress, and head for the ER if my vision changes or headaches get worse. So far, thankfully, it's all been pretty stable. 

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Not pregnant, but looks like we are most likely adopting.  So, I can't go through the pregnancy discussion, but I can go through the "getting another kid" discussion.  

Happy for all of you who are pregnant, but thankful I am not! 🤣

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49 minutes ago, DawnM said:

Not pregnant, but looks like we are most likely adopting.  So, I can't go through the pregnancy discussion, but I can go through the "getting another kid" discussion.  

Happy for all of you who are pregnant, but thankful I am not! 🤣

Adopting?  EXCITING!  Is this a we-want-babies situation or something that is involving an older child?

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8 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

Adopting?  EXCITING!  Is this a we-want-babies situation or something that is involving an older child?

 

It is kind of an older child, age 2.  The situation came up and we have said yes.  It is not a done deal yet, but the paperwork has been filed naming us as the adoptive parents, so unless we fail the background check, or something very unexpected comes up, we are adopting another child.

We are old enough to be his grandparents.  But we feel this is what we need to do.  I am willing to share more in PMs. but don't want all the details on a public message board until the adoption is final.

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Me! 30 weeks with #4. I didn't have any symptoms until about 8 weeks and they were mild so that worried me but so far everything is perfect! Congrats and best wishes to you! 

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15 hours ago, DawnM said:

 

It is kind of an older child, age 2.  The situation came up and we have said yes.  It is not a done deal yet, but the paperwork has been filed naming us as the adoptive parents, so unless we fail the background check, or something very unexpected comes up, we are adopting another child.

We are old enough to be his grandparents.  But we feel this is what we need to do.  I am willing to share more in PMs. but don't want all the details on a public message board until the adoption is final.


Congratulations!  We said yes to an 8 year old when a situation came up last fall, and he's been a wonderful addition to our family!

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Congrats Omishev and Dawn!! 

Also @Arctic Mama- in full disclosures, I do not have a child with the needs your youngest has, so I will start with that disclaimer. But I will say having a tubal is THE absolute biggest regret of my life. I know it is easier to do when they are in there for the c-section, cost and recovery wise. But I wish I had had better counseling from older, wiser btdt Moms before I consented. .

Everyone told us we were nuts in our circle for having three. Seriously. Like pariah level. I would never say you should or you shouldn’t do something as serious as this- it is a hard, serious decision I know you will weigh. I would say pray about it. I wish I had. We just did it because we felt overwhelmed with Irish twins and our social circle and family- I mean more than one or two kids was like......I’m not sure how to phrase it.....it was not enlightened. It was not modern.  It was not proper. We were not embraced. I’ll put it that way to be nice.

Anyway, I really wish I had waited until post pregnancy for us to make that decision and just dealt with one of us having a procedure if that’s what we felt needed to happen.  Pregnancy hormones are big. Within six month I wanted another baby and couldn’t because I have no tubes at all. There wasn’t even a chance to try a reversal. And then I’ve had hormone issues since, as have many others with tubals; but as with many things,  no one is looking at it in the science literature- there aren’t grants for it, so it’s ignored. Sterile women aren’t really a priority for federal grants, LOL....Anyway, im just throwing my experience out there for contemplation as not a single person ever said something like this to me.  I wish they had, so I’m saying it here. Hope you don’t mind. Do pray and you will find the right way.  We might have made the same decision had we done that. Maybe not. I just wish I had made it in a non-hormonal, overwhelmed state, with more contemplation. Sounds like you have this as an internal feeling more than external so that is good. But just felt the call to chime in. Congrats again  

 And Congrats again to you all. Adopted or natural- babies and children are a gift.  So happy for you guys. 

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