Okay who is pregnant? (updated in second page)

[moonflower]

That is if you want to share, of course.

I'll go first, me!  Not very (either 6 or 8 weeks, depending on when I ovulated, which was very unclear).  No symptoms at all except of all things hives (every day! grr) but two very positive tests. (says the intake nurse at the women's center)

I am nervous because of the miscarriage last time.  I have been blessed with easy conception and pregnancy, so I've always sort of taken the process for granted.  Now I'm on edge a lot.  What kind of cramp was that?  Am I having too many hormones/not enough hormones?  Am I eating the wrong thing, stressing out too much, breathing chemicals here or there? etc.

Edited January 3, 2020 by moonflower

[hjffkj]

Congrats!

I am, 12 weeks.  The last 4 weeks have been hell with nausea and exhaustion, but that is subsiding.  I have my first prenatal appointment next week. 

I'm sorry you are nervous and that you had to experience a miscarriage.  I had one a few months before I conceived ds#3 and I know how hard that next pregnancy is.  I am usually a really mellow person and don't worry much but it is hard not to when you lost the last one.  This time around I'm worrying about all the bad things that can happen after the birth because my 5th came out as blue as a blueberry and was sent to the NICU before I could hold him.  So now I'm convinced that or worse will happen again.

[moonflower]

12 weeks 🙂  I'm sorry you've had the nausea; I almost never have much beyond a sort of vague queasy feeling, but I hear you on the exhaustion.  I've always needed 15 hours of sleep a day for the first few months. 

Yes, that's exactly it, the worrying about having the same thing again with the last one.  I think part of that is just working out the trauma of it; my 5th was a difficult and unmedicated labor.  I have a very low pain tolerance and he was huge and it was just really hard.  I spent the whole next pregnancy worrying about going through that again, actually had an induction in order to guarantee the epidural, and then had a 6 lb baby!  My only consolation with worrying is that it never turns out like you expect.

[MercyA]

Congrats, moonflower!!! I'm very happy for you. 🙂 

When I was pregnant with my DD, I cramped the whole first month or so and spotted, too, and she was just fine. 

Watch or read funny things. If you can, take time to lie down, put your feet up, and relax. I will pray for you and the baby!

[MercyA]

Congrats, @Arctic Mama and @hjffkj! 🎈🎉🍼❤️

[moonflower]

I think if I lay down (ooh, not sure on the proper verb form there) my kids would sense weakness and pounce.  They are very good at sensing weakness.  I could use some funny things!  I have high anxiety anyway and have to be careful to deliberately calm down when I can feel it getting out of hand, which is hard to do!  It's so easy to take anxiety seriously.

[EmseB]

Congrats to all!

I am almost 32 weeks with #5. Everything is going well except I have some kind of spd or something out of alignment that is making the left side of my pelvis and my left leg extremely painful all the time. I think most chiropractors are quacks, but I'm seriously ready to try and find one that can fix this, or a physical therapist if I can get the insurance to work out. I feel like this has to be our last one because this pain gets worse and comes in sooner every time. I don't know that my pelvis would hold another after this, haha. Old gray mare ain't what she used to be!

I have had four non-medicated births, on purpose, lol, but they are talking induction at 39w because of advanced maternal age so I might go for the epidural this time if they do that. I watched a video of one being put in, though, and it made me feel very NOPE.

 

[moonflower]

I also think chiros are quacks, but constant pain would make me willing to try quackery just in case.  

My husband always blanches at the epidural.  I am almost always in so much pain by then that I do not care one bit what they are doing as long as the pain is going to be over soon.  I have a very low pain tolerance, and I get about 1 more step on the pain scale with each cm dilated, so by 5-6cm I am done, done, done!  Seriously I love epidurals.  I don't like needles but you don't have to see the needle so it is not that scary.  I have found anaesthesiologists to be pretty practical, reassuring types.  

 

[MercyA]

22 minutes ago, EmseB said:

I have had four non-medicated births, on purpose, lol, but they are talking induction at 39w because of advanced maternal age so I might go for the epidural this time if they do that. I watched a video of one being put in, though, and it made me feel very NOPE.

Epidurals are seriously glorious. I went about 24 hours without one and would never do that again. They numb you first and it honestly just feels like pressure. I had a wonderful nurse who put her arms around me and had me hold onto her while they did it, because I was afraid of moving. It was over quickly and not bad at all. 

Go for it, you will love it. Epidurals and conscious sedation at the dentist are two of man's greatest inventions. They almost make me wax poetic. 😉 

And congrats!!! 🎉

[moonflower]

I feel the same way, mercy.  I also really like washing machines.  We lived without one, with a toddler, for about 4 months once.  I feel like between epidurals and washing machines, we pretty much have it made in the developed world these days.

[EmseB]

2 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Epidurals are seriously glorious. I went about 24 hours without one and would never do that again. They numb you first and it honestly just feels like pressure. I had a wonderful nurse who put her arms around me and had me hold onto her while they did it, because I was afraid of moving. It was over quickly and not bad at all. 

Go for it, you will love it. Epidurals and conscious sedation at the dentist are two of man's greatest inventions. They almost make me wax poetic. 😉 

And congrats!!! 🎉

The problem is that by the time I want the epidural, actually want it, it's usually too late and I'm pushing. At least for the last two babies I went from unbearable to baby out in less than an hour. My first labor was the longest and you're right, I definitely wouldn't go 24hrs without one again! My #4 took less than four hours, though. I'll have to see how/if they are going to do the induction.

[Garga]

Not it!  And at 46, I seriously don’t want to be.  🙂

But congratulations to everyone who is!  So exciting for you all.  🙂

[moonflower]

Oh I should say though that when I had the epidural with the scheduled induction, they did the epidural first just to be sure (since I have very fast labors).  Then the induction took maybe 7 hours to get to transition, and by then the epidural was not as effective as it had been and so there was some (moderate, not terrible) pain during delivery.  

[moonflower]

1 minute ago, EmseB said:

The problem is that by the time I want the epidural, actually want it, it's usually too late and I'm pushing. At least for the last two babies I went from unbearable to baby out in less than an hour. My first labor was the longest and you're right, I definitely wouldn't go 24hrs without one again! My #4 took less than four hours, though. I'll have to see how/if they are going to do the induction.

 

I have about 2.5-3 hours after I know I'm in labor until delivery.  I usually push 2 or 3 times, never more than 10 minutes.

But transition, just, no, I can't even take 10 minutes of that.  An hour!  You are a stronger woman than I.

[Scarlett]

@Arctic Mama I had no idea! Congrats to you and to all of you.  

[EmseB]

42 minutes ago, moonflower said:

 

I have about 2.5-3 hours after I know I'm in labor until delivery.  I usually push 2 or 3 times, never more than 10 minutes.

But transition, just, no, I can't even take 10 minutes of that.  An hour!  You are a stronger woman than I.

ETA: I don't know about stronger, they wouldn't give me one when I was already 8cm, so I was not stoic about it or anything, but I didn't have a choice (I really had decided not to have one up front, but in the moment I lose all the reasons I had previously and shamelessly beg for someone to put me out of my misery).

But...logistically, how do they have time? For the last one, they told me it would take 30 minutes for the anesthesiologist to even get to me so I needed to let them know from the outset if I wanted one so that he could be ready when I was dilated enough, and then it takes ~10 min or more to prep me and then put it in...all while I'm supposed to be holding still while contractions are getting worse? And then don't they have to put in a catheter? And I'm supposed to be on IV fluids first in case my blood pressure drops, right? I seriously can't wrap my head around how I could do it just logistically if my labor is any shorter than last time, although I know most women do get them. And this time, if I'm not induced, the hospital is 30 minutes away anyway (my husband loves the irrational-woman-in-labor drive to the hospital. LOVES IT).

The reason I avoided one for my first baby was because I was and am very, very much more terrified of abdominal surgery than labor (I've done both), so I was doing everything I could to avoid interventions of most kinds in order to give myself the best chance of avoiding a c/s. And that first one was probably the labor where an epidural would have done me the most good! HA! I guess I don't have to worry about it now. My husband just wants me to decide before I'm begging for one when it's too late and he has to feel guilty about me not getting one earlier in the whole process. 😄

Hm, thinking about this, maybe I don't want to do this again at all, epidural or no. Where do I exit the ride?? Can't I just go pick up my baby at the cabbage patch? 😄
 

Edited August 15, 2019 by EmseB

[Serenade]

47 minutes ago, EmseB said:

The problem is that by the time I want the epidural, actually want it, it's usually too late and I'm pushing. At least for the last two babies I went from unbearable to baby out in less than an hour. My first labor was the longest and you're right, I definitely wouldn't go 24hrs without one again! My #4 took less than four hours, though. I'll have to see how/if they are going to do the induction.

 

With my second baby I waited as long as I could for an epi, because with my first the epi slowed down my labor, and I ended up going for 25 hours.   Anyhow, with my second, I almost waited too long, and then they couldn't get the anesthesiologist.  I think I was around 9 centimeter, but in the end, they still put it in.  It was not easy because there wasn't much time between contractions, and I think (if my foggy memory on this is correct), that there was one try that didn't work.  I was so glad once I got it, though.  I could relax and enjoy the rest of my delivery.

[MercyA]

1 hour ago, Garga said:

Not it!  And at 46, I seriously don’t want to be.  🙂

But congratulations to everyone who is!  So exciting for you all.  🙂

Right there with you! So happy to be done and so happy with my one tween! 🙂 

[moonflower]

58 minutes ago, EmseB said:

ETA: I don't know about stronger, they wouldn't give me one when I was already 8cm, so I was not stoic about it or anything, but I didn't have a choice (I really had decided not to have one up front, but in the moment I lose all the reasons I had previously and shamelessly beg for someone to put me out of my misery).

But...logistically, how do they have time? For the last one, they told me it would take 30 minutes for the anesthesiologist to even get to me so I needed to let them know from the outset if I wanted one so that he could be ready when I was dilated enough, and then it takes ~10 min or more to prep me and then put it in...all while I'm supposed to be holding still while contractions are getting worse? And then don't they have to put in a catheter? And I'm supposed to be on IV fluids first in case my blood pressure drops, right? I seriously can't wrap my head around how I could do it just logistically if my labor is any shorter than last time, although I know most women do get them. And this time, if I'm not induced, the hospital is 30 minutes away anyway (my husband loves the irrational-woman-in-labor drive to the hospital. LOVES IT).

The reason I avoided one for my first baby was because I was and am very, very much more terrified of abdominal surgery than labor (I've done both), so I was doing everything I could to avoid interventions of most kinds in order to give myself the best chance of avoiding a c/s. And that first one was probably the labor where an epidural would have done me the most good! HA! I guess I don't have to worry about it now. My husband just wants me to decide before I'm begging for one when it's too late and he has to feel guilty about me not getting one earlier in the whole process. 😄

Hm, thinking about this, maybe I don't want to do this again at all, epidural or no. Where do I exit the ride?? Can't I just go pick up my baby at the cabbage patch? 😄
 

 

For me, since I started having very fast labors (with number 3), they have not really had time.

#3, unmedicated, postpartum hemmorhage, traumatic

#4, got the epidural at the very last second because I went before I thought I was really for sure in labor and was very insistent constantly that I needed one.  Still, I was 7cm when they put it in and had the baby like half an hour later

#5, no epidural, traumatic

#6, elective induction, epidural in before induction

#7, scheduled to be induced but went into labor the day before the induction.  I had called the hospital beforehand and explained about my fast labors and extreme desire for an epidural, and of course they gave me the normal it'll be fine, we're fast schtick.  I've delivered at 5 different hospitals, they're never fast.  but when I got there, about 5cm I think, the intake nurse was the same one I'd talked to on the phone and she was GREAT.  She got me that epidural within half an hour.  she didn't insist that I have blood processed first, she didn't insist that I be monitored for a while to make sure I was really in labor, she just took one look at me, said "I remember you from on the phone," and called the anaestheseologist, then put in an IV.  It was awesome.  I also lived half an hour from the hospital at the time (down a mountain) and I am pretty sure I was freaking out for the last half about how I definitely wasn't going to make it, etc.  That was part of why I scheduled inductions for 6 and 7, b/c of the distance to the hospital combined with fast labors.

I had a catheter with the last two epidurals and it was nothing. really nothing.  The holding still always worries me because I'm often in serious pain by the time the epidural is in, but it is okay.  You don't have to be perfect, and the anaestheseologist isn't going to put in a line if you're not still enough, and he does the finnicky part between contractions in my experience.  

[EmseB]

7 minutes ago, moonflower said:

 

For me, since I started having very fast labors (with number 3), they have not really had time.

#3, unmedicated, postpartum hemmorhage, traumatic

#4, got the epidural at the very last second because I went before I thought I was really for sure in labor and was very insistent constantly that I needed one.  Still, I was 7cm when they put it in and had the baby like half an hour later

#5, no epidural, traumatic

#6, elective induction, epidural in before induction

#7, scheduled to be induced but went into labor the day before the induction.  I had called the hospital beforehand and explained about my fast labors and extreme desire for an epidural, and of course they gave me the normal it'll be fine, we're fast schtick.  I've delivered at 5 different hospitals, they're never fast.  but when I got there, about 5cm I think, the intake nurse was the same one I'd talked to on the phone and she was GREAT.  She got me that epidural within half an hour.  she didn't insist that I have blood processed first, she didn't insist that I be monitored for a while to make sure I was really in labor, she just took one look at me, said "I remember you from on the phone," and called the anaestheseologist, then put in an IV.  It was awesome.  I also lived half an hour from the hospital at the time (down a mountain) and I am pretty sure I was freaking out for the last half about how I definitely wasn't going to make it, etc.  That was part of why I scheduled inductions for 6 and 7, b/c of the distance to the hospital combined with fast labors.

I had a catheter with the last two epidurals and it was nothing. really nothing.  The holding still always worries me because I'm often in serious pain by the time the epidural is in, but it is okay.  You don't have to be perfect, and the anaestheseologist isn't going to put in a line if you're not still enough, and he does the finnicky part between contractions in my experience.  

Thanks for typing this all out for me. It is something that's been weighing on my mind, obviously. I know it seems silly because I get the feeling most women don't have any concerns about getting one. I have always, always been glad the second the baby is out that I didn't get one. I have never regretted not having one, even for my first despite how hard it was. But thinking about this upcoming labor...I just don't know if I can do it again without meds. I mean, I know I *could*, but if I'm there to be induced and they will get me the epi before things get dire, I could be convinced to get one and just relax while my body does its thing. There's really no one in my life right now who is on the side of going me un-medicated again anyway, everyone says not to bother, why put myself through that, I don't have anything to prove, etc. I mean, I have a list of reasons why, and I know what the benefits are to me personally, I am really just scared of doing labor again. This thread has been very helpful to ease some of my actual fears about getting one if that's what I decide to do.

And sorry for making this thread all about me and my baggage!!

Happy and healthy pregnancies to all!

[Lawyer&Mom]

3 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

Hugs Moonflower!  I’m right there with you 🙂

I’m officially due April 17th with #7 if my dates are accurate, but there is no way they’d let me go past March 27th.  With all my health drama, I’m leaning very much toward a scheduled c section anyway.

So far I’m just horribly exhausted, a little nauseous, bloated like a balloon, and some foods taste funky.  But as far as pregnancy symptoms go I can’t complain.

 

I say embrace the planned section!  I imagine it will relieve some of the psychological stress anticipating your delivery.  And if their is a chance you will end up with a section anyway, a planned one is definitely easier.  (My second was scheduled, then she came early, but still going straight to a section instead of pushing for hours first is so much better.)

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Garga said:

Not it!  And at 46, I seriously don’t want to be.  🙂

But congratulations to everyone who is!  So exciting for you all.  🙂

Lol, same.

Best wishes to all our Hive preggies! 

[Martha in GA]

10 hours ago, EmseB said:

I have had four non-medicated births, on purpose, lol, but they are talking induction at 39w because of advanced maternal age so I might go for the epidural this time if they do that. I watched a video of one being put in, though, and it made me feel very NOPE.

That doesn't make sense to induce you because of your age? I had my last two at ages 36 and 38 and there was no talk of inducing me!

 

[hjffkj]

10 hours ago, MercyA said:

Epidurals are seriously glorious. I went about 24 hours without one and would never do that again. They numb you first and it honestly just feels like pressure. I had a wonderful nurse who put her arms around me and had me hold onto her while they did it, because I was afraid of moving. It was over quickly and not bad at all. 

Go for it, you will love it. Epidurals and conscious sedation at the dentist are two of man's greatest inventions. They almost make me wax poetic. 😉 

And congrats!!! 🎉

 

People say this but I've had 5 epidurals and they hurt.  Not for long but it is not just pressure.  Plus, I can feel the spot where I them periodically at it can be quite painful.  If I could, I would avoid them at all costs.  But you can't really avoid a needle in the spine when you have to have csections.

[hjffkj]

@Arctic Mama I have had scheduled csections with my last two, 5 csections total.  The first was an emergency.  The second was a failed VBAC with a very supportive dr.  The third was after a 72 hour labor at home, 50 of those hours being sporadic transition level contractions.  After all that I was still only 4 cm dilated.  So, with #4 I just decided to be done trying and schedule the csection.  Best decision ever.  I didn't spend the whole pregnancy worrying about the long labor and inevitable csection anyway.  I recovered faster because I had more energy and less stress.

After what you went through last birth a schedule csection isn't a terrible idea.

[mommyoffive]

Aww Congrats to everyone.

[Zoo Keeper]

Congratulations, all you mamas!  Babies are a blessing.  🙂

[Selkie]

It's a Hive baby boom!🎉

Congrats to everyone!

[SKL]

Congratulations, mamas!

[DesertBlossom]

12 hours ago, EmseB said:

The problem is that by the time I want the epidural, actually want it, it's usually too late and I'm pushing. At least for the last two babies I went from unbearable to baby out in less than an hour. My first labor was the longest and you're right, I definitely wouldn't go 24hrs without one again! My #4 took less than four hours, though. I'll have to see how/if they are going to do the induction.

I am the same way-- by the time it's bad, baby is almost here. Not that I want an epidural. The thought of a needle scares the heck out of me. I have had 7 unmedicated births and I still think that way. 

My last baby (this 2 month old and 15 pounds of chub in my lap atm) was born at home. My water broke a little about 8am but I wasn't having any big contractions. At 1:50 I felt an internal pop like a balloon popping and the rest of my water gushed out. From that moment on I was having crazy intense contractions every 2-3 minutes. Midwife arrived at 2:20. My 10 lbs 2 oz. boy arrived at 3:20. It was so fast and so hard and I thought I was going to die (not really). I am even "advanced maternal age" but I am so glad everything went as planned and he was born at home. Even thought there were moments (about every 2-3 minutes, lol) that I thought an epidural might be nice, ultimately I am glad I went without. 

 

 

[MercyA]

3 hours ago, hjffkj said:

People say this but I've had 5 epidurals and they hurt.  Not for long but it is not just pressure.  Plus, I can feel the spot where I them periodically at it can be quite painful.  If I could, I would avoid them at all costs.  But you can't really avoid a needle in the spine when you have to have csections.

I'm sorry! Maybe I just had a really good anesthesiologist. I couldn't feel it at all once it was in.

And everyone is different. My female relatives told me giving birth was not that bad. My sister had all her kids at home, unmedicated, and cheerfully called me on the phone soon after finishing labor. For me, the pain was like death. Seriously. I've had dozens of kidney stones and birth was so, so much worse. 

Edited August 15, 2019 by MercyA

[DesertBlossom]

Congratulations to everyone! Babies are always such a miracle and so much fun. I really love babies.  Even if I never want to be pregnant again! Lol

[moonflower]

30 minutes ago, MercyA said:

I'm sorry! Maybe I just had a really good anesthesiologist. I couldn't feel it at all once it was in.

And everyone is different. My female relatives told me giving birth was not that bad. My sister had all her kids at home, unmedicated, and cheerfully called me on the phone soon after finishing labor. For me, the pain was like death. Seriously. I've had dozens of kidney stones and birth was so, so much worse. 

 

The bolded is so true.  My SIL had unmedicated births with both of hers; when I expressed awe and sympathy for the pain, she said oh, it was never more than a 5 on the pain scale.

5! If only.  But she had much worse pregnancies, with constant vomiting through the whole thing, so on the whole I can't complain.  People are just so different.

[hjffkj]

1 hour ago, MercyA said:

I'm sorry! Maybe I just had a really good anesthesiologist. I couldn't feel it at all once it was in.

And everyone is different. My female relatives told me giving birth was not that bad. My sister had all her kids at home, unmedicated, and cheerfully called me on the phone soon after finishing labor. For me, the pain was like death. Seriously. I've had dozens of kidney stones and birth was so, so much worse. 

 

Oh once it is in you can't feel it.  But as they are putting the needle in your back there is certainly pain.

[bensonduck]

Congrats to everyone! I’m 17 weeks with #4. I have a huge (5 year) gap between #3 and #4 due to some health issues, so that will be interesting. Feeling pretty good so far. 

[moonflower]

1 hour ago, hjffkj said:

 

Oh once it is in you can't feel it.  But as they are putting the needle in your back there is certainly pain.

 

That's true, there is a sting, but for me that sting is like 1 on the scale of 1 to 10 for pain and my contractions by the time I get the epidural are about a 6 or 7, so I barely notice.

[Zoo Keeper]

2 hours ago, hjffkj said:

 

Oh once it is in you can't feel it.  But as they are putting the needle in your back there is certainly pain.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

The epidural I had for #6 was VERY uncomfortable going in.  By far the most uncomfortable part of that birth.  And I had hours of natural childbirth up to that point.

But I am glad I had it done.  C-section would have been much worse without it. 😉

[Scarlett]

When I was pregnant 20 years ago I was unreasonably terrified of having to have a C section.  I did childbirth classes and once I watched the video on C-sections I was only slightly less terrified.  Thankfully ds came with no need for C-section.  I had him unmedicated.  I won't say it was painless but definitely doable.  I also agree it is just different for everyone.  

Congrats to all you pregnant ladies.  I am so happy for all of you.  I am also happy for myself that I am not pregnant.  🙂

 

[MercyA]

5 hours ago, hjffkj said:

But as they are putting the needle in your back there is certainly pain.

I was just fortunate, I guess! I am a huge weenie and I honestly only felt pressure. Or maybe by that point, my body was like, "Hey, this is nothing." 😉

 

[kiwik]

20 hours ago, EmseB said:

The problem is that by the time I want the epidural, actually want it, it's usually too late and I'm pushing. At least for the last two babies I went from unbearable to baby out in less than an hour. My first labor was the longest and you're right, I definitely wouldn't go 24hrs without one again! My #4 took less than four hours, though. I'll have to see how/if they are going to do the induction.

I was given one when I was in transition because the midwife still didn't really believe I was in labour so didn't check until after the epidural.  It was a quick and dirty labour and they were more concerned with keeping the monitor on so they would know if my c section scar ruptured than anything else.

[Melissa in Australia]

congratulations all

[73349]

Congratulations to all! My reaction to the thread title was 1-2-3-Not It! 😄

I will spare you the details of DS's birth, which would provide no one an incentive to continue reproducing.

[mumto2]

Congratulations!  I had no idea so many were expecting......

[PrincessMommy]

Congratulations to everyone!!  How exciting.  

[ktgrok]

On 8/14/2019 at 10:28 PM, EmseB said:

Congrats to all!

I am almost 32 weeks with #5. Everything is going well except I have some kind of spd or something out of alignment that is making the left side of my pelvis and my left leg extremely painful all the time. I think most chiropractors are quacks, but I'm seriously ready to try and find one that can fix this, or a physical therapist if I can get the insurance to work out. I feel like this has to be our last one because this pain gets worse and comes in sooner every time. I don't know that my pelvis would hold another after this, haha. Old gray mare ain't what she used to be!

I have had four non-medicated births, on purpose, lol, but they are talking induction at 39w because of advanced maternal age so I might go for the epidural this time if they do that. I watched a video of one being put in, though, and it made me feel very NOPE.

 

1. Chiro did help me, but yes, a lot are quacks. Find one that does a LOT of pregnant women. A good way is to check who is certified in the Webster technique, although there are good ones that are not. If they have a zillion ads on their website about car accidents, skip them. And PT is a great idea. Also, not pregnant, but the pain from my pelvis that started in pregnancy has gotten better from the Hab-It pelvic floor exercises (you can stream them or get DVDs). Not going to lie, got busy, and only ever watched the intro DVD with the posture exercises and that alone fixed a lot of my problems! Really need to do the rest.

2. Regarding advanced maternal age: I'm a huge data/research geek and was 41 when I gave birth last time, and go late every time, so researched the heck out of this topic. I'm happy to share links/findings/thoughts if you would like. I was just going to link but then remembered that it is not nice to push info on pregnant women 🙂  But the basics are that a woman who has had a child before (multipara) has a lower risk of stillbirth even at advanced maternal age than a first time mom who is not of advanced maternal age. So...if they don't induce all first time moms at 39 weeks for fear of stillbirth, then it makes no sense to do it for older moms who have had previous kids, as their risk is LOWER. That said, I'm also about safety and started doing full biophysical profiles weekly at 38 weeks (not just an NST - those are not as sensitive and have false positives, false negatives, etc). There is good research on the risk of stillbirth and biophysical profiles, basically if you have a perfect biophysical profile the risk is virtually zero for the next however many days. So we did that, plus more frequent (twice a week) visits at 41 weeks, then at 42 weeks I went in to the hospital for the biophysical plus a longer NST plus full lab work. All was perfect, they said the issue was I was too good at being pregnant) so I checked out AMA with a promise to come back the next day to be induced if I wasn't in labor. Went into labor on the way home, lol. Had the baby 2 hours later. Anyway, I can share research if you are not comfortable with induction that early - for me I was not mostly because I had one 38 weaker who really struggled and was obviously not quite ready, and 2 that went to 41 weeks 5 days who were much healthier, happier, easier to feed, more ready to be born, so I was worried being induced that early would give me a not ready baby. Plus, I was on my 3rd VBAC and preferred not to induce due to the added risk. 

On 8/15/2019 at 12:24 PM, Arctic Mama said:

Birth sucks, but I admit all but one of my vaginal birth kids I felt really pumped afterward and cheerful.  Total adrenaline and oxytocin high.  One of my easier births I actually was mad eat her when she came out - just really offended at how much of a stinker she was with the positioning.  I think I glared through the first five minutes together 😂 

My epidural birth was still my worst vaginal birth, but also the one I felt the most victorious after (my first vbac).  First c section was awful but the last one actually went well, except for the spiking blood pressure and not being anesthetized enough.  Feeling the whole thing honestly is freaking me out a bit for another c section, because that was atrocious.  But I know they couldn’t do too much painkilling because of the HELLP.  I even recall the anesthesiologist apologetically telling me that, but I missed it at the time 🙄

A big part of me wants to do a vaginal birth again since I felt totally robbed last time, but it was necessary and the threshold for another c section is SO low it’s almost a given they’d push for a c section in the middle of it anyway.  Sigh.  I need to talk about it with the MFM team.

Oh, Arctic Mama! First, I am So so so so happy for you! I feel this baby is meant to be. That said, I can only imagine you have some big complicated feelings, although maybe not the time to dwell on them. And having had VBACs and C-sections and knowing the mental strain that goes with fighting for a VBAC, and being of a practical bent regarding the realities I'm happy to chat any time if you want a sounding board that won't judge either direction.Oh, and the anesthesia didn't work right in my c-section either...I had a window where the epidural didn't take, so get that as well.  I can see how you have good reasons to go either way, both emotional and physical. And at least if you have surgery, you have so many people to help care for you. But yeah, that's a complicated decision in a lot of ways. Big support and hugs whichever you decide. 

On 8/15/2019 at 2:34 PM, moonflower said:

 

That's true, there is a sting, but for me that sting is like 1 on the scale of 1 to 10 for pain and my contractions by the time I get the epidural are about a 6 or 7, so I barely notice.

Yeah, I was terrified of an epidural. I did have one, with my first birth, right before my c-section. I didn't feel it, but I was in transition, so yeah. Afterwards I did offer to marry the anesthesiologist, lol. In my opinion if you are thinking the epidural insertion is bad you aren't far enough in labor to need one, lol. (I know that isn't actually true...more of a joke). That said, I didn't have one again. I might if I went to the hospital for birth though...at home it isn't an option, and if it was I might have taken it a few times, lol. I need to move in labor, and need to be in the shower, and if I couldn't do that I might need the epidural. Mostly I hate pushing though, so by then I assume it is too late. What i'd REALLY like is the option for gas and air during pushing, like the UK has. ONE hospital in Florida has it, but they are 2 hours away and my last labor was under 2 hours...so...yeah. 

[Familia]

Congratulations everyone!!

[EmseB]

6 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

2. Regarding advanced maternal age: I'm a huge data/research geek and was 41 when I gave birth last time, and go late every time, so researched the heck out of this topic. I'm happy to share links/findings/thoughts if you would like. I was just going to link but then remembered that it is not nice to push info on pregnant women 🙂  But the basics are that a woman who has had a child before (multipara) has a lower risk of stillbirth even at advanced maternal age than a first time mom who is not of advanced maternal age. So...if they don't induce all first time moms at 39 weeks for fear of stillbirth, then it makes no sense to do it for older moms who have had previous kids, as their risk is LOWER. That said, I'm also about safety and started doing full biophysical profiles weekly at 38 weeks (not just an NST - those are not as sensitive and have false positives, false negatives, etc). There is good research on the risk of stillbirth and biophysical profiles, basically if you have a perfect biophysical profile the risk is virtually zero for the next however many days. So we did that, plus more frequent (twice a week) visits at 41 weeks, then at 42 weeks I went in to the hospital for the biophysical plus a longer NST plus full lab work. All was perfect, they said the issue was I was too good at being pregnant) so I checked out AMA with a promise to come back the next day to be induced if I wasn't in labor. Went into labor on the way home, lol. Had the baby 2 hours later. Anyway, I can share research if you are not comfortable with induction that early - for me I was not mostly because I had one 38 weaker who really struggled and was obviously not quite ready, and 2 that went to 41 weeks 5 days who were much healthier, happier, easier to feed, more ready to be born, so I was worried being induced that early would give me a not ready baby. Plus, I was on my 3rd VBAC and preferred not to induce due to the added risk. 

Thanks for taking the time to type all this out. It's all the stuff I've been mulling over and reading for the last few months and trying to make up my mind on what to do. Due to the way my care is set up (Tricare insurance/military OB clinic on base but delivering in a civvie hospital that's 30 mins away), I'm honestly not sure how feasible it will be to get them to agree to BPPs. I am going to be getting NSTs starting at 36 weeks, with a BPP following if indicators aren't what they want to see.

I do have the same concerns about baby being ready. I really think my body will just kick into gear if it's given a kick-start, but I do worry about how ready this guy is. All of my kiddos have come before 41 weeks. The boys have tended later than the girl, but my 1st came just before his due date like his sister, so it's hard to say. I don't really want him to come out before he's ready to nurse well and has a mature-ish little system.

All that to say is that I don't really know what I'm going to do. Part of me is just tired. Tired of being pregnant, tired of worrying through the last few weeks of pregnancy, tired of trying to negotiate terms with doctors when I do know all the numbers and risks and my own mind, but you know, this guy has delivered two or three thousand babies and I know his motive is not nefarious. He is not the stereotypical try-and-schedule-the-induction-to-make-it-to-the-golf-course. I know he believes that it's in my and the baby's best interest and that it really won't be a problem to induce a week before my due date. But also there is a big part of me that does not feel right about picking baby's bday for him without any other indications of problems. I think/hope that when it comes down to it that I'll just be comfortable with whatever we decide, and maybe baby will come on his own time and I won't have to  decide anything!!

[ktgrok]

2 hours ago, EmseB said:

Thanks for taking the time to type all this out. It's all the stuff I've been mulling over and reading for the last few months and trying to make up my mind on what to do. Due to the way my care is set up (Tricare insurance/military OB clinic on base but delivering in a civvie hospital that's 30 mins away), I'm honestly not sure how feasible it will be to get them to agree to BPPs. I am going to be getting NSTs starting at 36 weeks, with a BPP following if indicators aren't what they want to see.

I do have the same concerns about baby being ready. I really think my body will just kick into gear if it's given a kick-start, but I do worry about how ready this guy is. All of my kiddos have come before 41 weeks. The boys have tended later than the girl, but my 1st came just before his due date like his sister, so it's hard to say. I don't really want him to come out before he's ready to nurse well and has a mature-ish little system.

All that to say is that I don't really know what I'm going to do. Part of me is just tired. Tired of being pregnant, tired of worrying through the last few weeks of pregnancy, tired of trying to negotiate terms with doctors when I do know all the numbers and risks and my own mind, but you know, this guy has delivered two or three thousand babies and I know his motive is not nefarious. He is not the stereotypical try-and-schedule-the-induction-to-make-it-to-the-golf-course. I know he believes that it's in my and the baby's best interest and that it really won't be a problem to induce a week before my due date. But also there is a big part of me that does not feel right about picking baby's bday for him without any other indications of problems. I think/hope that when it comes down to it that I'll just be comfortable with whatever we decide, and maybe baby will come on his own time and I won't have to  decide anything!!

I think doctors see the immediate issues - so to them baby comes a week or two earlier than it should, no big deal, it's not in the NICU, so fine. They don't see the two weeks of struggling to feed, the trips to the pediatrician for weight checks  due to concerns about not getting enough milk, the long days and nights of crying because they are just disorganized and not ready to deal with all the stimulation, etc etc. So for them, there is no real downside, you know? So no nefarious purposes, just different perspective. 

2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

One thing to remember is that an induction is likely to go better for you, too, having had previous children.  If you do get one, you’re likely to have a good outcome.  I know it’s scary and frustrating but but it’s really minor in the scheme of things, I think. If you’re dead set against an induction I would demand monitoring in its place - even tricare shouldn’t have a huge issue with it since you have AMA as your reason?  

Very true. Honestly, I was ready to be induced with the last one, and had given myself 12 hours more to go into labor. And if for some chance I got pregnant now, at age 43, I'm sure that induction may be on the table, but I'd be pushing for those BPP just because I know my babies and they cook late and seem to need that extra time, so if I CAN give to them, I want to. But if anything looked at all amiss or not optimal I'd do the induction and feel assured that given how many times I've been in labor I'd kick into it fairly well. My concern is much more for baby - and that's again due to going to 42 weeks or close to it, myself born 3 weeks late, etc. 

[ktgrok]

2 hours ago, EmseB said:

Thanks for taking the time to type all this out. It's all the stuff I've been mulling over and reading for the last few months and trying to make up my mind on what to do. Due to the way my care is set up (Tricare insurance/military OB clinic on base but delivering in a civvie hospital that's 30 mins away), I'm honestly not sure how feasible it will be to get them to agree to BPPs. I am going to be getting NSTs starting at 36 weeks, with a BPP following if indicators aren't what they want to see.

I do have the same concerns about baby being ready. I really think my body will just kick into gear if it's given a kick-start, but I do worry about how ready this guy is. All of my kiddos have come before 41 weeks. The boys have tended later than the girl, but my 1st came just before his due date like his sister, so it's hard to say. I don't really want him to come out before he's ready to nurse well and has a mature-ish little system.

All that to say is that I don't really know what I'm going to do. Part of me is just tired. Tired of being pregnant, tired of worrying through the last few weeks of pregnancy, tired of trying to negotiate terms with doctors when I do know all the numbers and risks and my own mind, but you know, this guy has delivered two or three thousand babies and I know his motive is not nefarious. He is not the stereotypical try-and-schedule-the-induction-to-make-it-to-the-golf-course. I know he believes that it's in my and the baby's best interest and that it really won't be a problem to induce a week before my due date. But also there is a big part of me that does not feel right about picking baby's bday for him without any other indications of problems. I think/hope that when it comes down to it that I'll just be comfortable with whatever we decide, and maybe baby will come on his own time and I won't have to  decide anything!!

I think doctors see the immediate issues - so to them baby comes a week or two earlier than it should, no big deal, it's not in the NICU, so fine. They don't see the two weeks of struggling to feed, the trips to the pediatrician for weight checks  due to concerns about not getting enough milk, the long days and nights of crying because they are just disorganized and not ready to deal with all the stimulation, etc etc. So for them, there is no real downside, you know? So no nefarious purposes, just different perspective. 

2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

One thing to remember is that an induction is likely to go better for you, too, having had previous children.  If you do get one, you’re likely to have a good outcome.  I know it’s scary and frustrating but but it’s really minor in the scheme of things, I think. If you’re dead set against an induction I would demand monitoring in its place - even tricare shouldn’t have a huge issue with it since you have AMA as your reason?  

Very true. Honestly, I was ready to be induced with the last one, and had given myself 12 hours more to go into labor. And if for some chance I got pregnant now, at age 43, I'm sure that induction may be on the table, but I'd be pushing for those BPP just because I know my babies and they cook late and seem to need that extra time, so if I CAN give to them, I want to. But if anything looked at all amiss or not optimal I'd do the induction and feel assured that given how many times I've been in labor I'd kick into it fairly well. My concern is much more for baby - and that's again due to going to 42 weeks or close to it, myself born 3 weeks late, etc. 

I can't imagine if you say, "I want it documented in my chart that I requested a biophysical profile and was denied" that they won't cave - no one wants that documented and then have the legal risk of anything happening and they didn't monitor when they could have. 

[EmseB]

3 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

That’s good to know too.  My last three have all come well before 40 weeks and I don’t think Benjamin would have come much later even without the distress and hypoxia.  My 41 and 42 week babies were well cooked but my non-drama 37 and 38 weekers were fine, too.  One advantage of being a mom of a few kids is knowing a bit of your body and history that can inform your decisions.  

If you tend to need more time, push for that.  Do better laboring upright or on your side?  Push for it.  Me, I have a weird pelvis and can’t get kids under it without being full lithotomy - lucky me, but at least now I know, right?

Any doctor or midwife worth their salt is not going to ignore the experience of a mother who has been through this before.  Those insights can be priceless, they can mean the difference between smooth vs complicated or even life and death.

I’m praying you and your doctor can come to a meeting of minds on this.  I’m so sorry for your stress, @EmseB

Aw, thank you. I probably sound more stressed online than in real life because I can type out all my thoughts here and vent about EVERYTHING I'm thinking. I am, overall, not too worried because I feel like I have a good handle on the information and risks associated with different options and even if I do what the doctor prefers, I'm not doing it without awareness. I also think that either way, there is so much out of my control that whatever I/we decide I just have to take a leap of faith, if that makes sense.

Edited September 4, 2019 by EmseB