Do all teenage girls' jeans have to be skin-tight?

[Sneezyone]

2 hours ago, Seasider too said:

We were in Target yesterday and actually, a fall trend is waist high jeans with a yoke at the waist and pleats below. Not skin tight. Very 80s. Very flashback provoking. Plus, according to my kids, high-waisted mom jeans are also a current thing for high school girls.  

Will they reverse the leggings-as-pants trend? Not likely. But at least the option is there. 

 

YES!! THIS IS WHAT I SAW!! It was horrifying. Truly. They think I want to dress like my mother? REALLY!?

[Sneezyone]

3 hours ago, MEmama said:

Not all high rise jeans are mom jeans, though (back in the day those would have been worn ironically, when wearing things ironically was a thing).

Athleta makes high rise skinny jeans that are sooo comfortable and also stylish. I’m sure a lot of companies do.

 

Not gonna lie, I'm skeptical. As a short-waisted woman, those Gap jeans made my eyes twitch.

[SKL]

I am in the middle on this ... If you feel strongly, maybe buy her one pair of the "skinny" type and then look around and see what others are wearing.

I have to admit that my kids wear skinny jeans or leggings when they aren't wearing skirts.  I agree with the PP who said they are completely covered, at least.  I prefer this greatly to the previous styles that left butt cheeks / undies sticking out.  😛

[Pen]

I think at $18 a couple pairs of what she wants certainly makes sense.  

It’s probably not literally absolutely “required” — but probably would make her social life much, much harder to wear something she feels dowdy and an outcast in. 

[maize]

1 hour ago, Pen said:

I think at $18 a couple pairs of what she wants certainly makes sense.  

It’s probably not literally absolutely “required” — but probably would make her social life much, much harder to wear something she feels dowdy and an outcast in. 

And this is a key point--I don't think it matters so much whether "all teen girls" really do only wear a certain style as it does whether she feels confident vs. self conscious about her clothing.

Since what she wants isn't crazy unreasonable (like...shorts that show butt cheeks...) I think a bit of compromise on mom's part might go a long way.

Edited August 9, 2019 by maize

[Pen]

Btw check if there’s a dress code of any sort.  Our ps allows leggings/ skinny jeans, but they have to be either real pants with waist band etc even if ultra tight , or if spandex type pull on leggings/jeggings are supposed to be topped by a tunic with inches down coverage specified. 

[Sharon77]

I am 46, live near a major city and all i wear is skinny jeans with spandex so they are tight but comfy. no one around here wears eddie bauer

[Frances]

10 hours ago, soror said:

I don't see much difference in the tightness of both pairs TBH, I do think she'd likely look a bit out of place with the Eddie Bauer ones. Clothing is such a huge deal at that age.

Same here. The only real difference I see in tightness is from the knees down. And I personally choose to dress very modestly.

[Frances]

8 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

Honestly, the low rise trend of the mid 2000s (how do you say that? I’m thinking about 2004-2005) when my dd was 8 (EIGHT years old!) and I could not find jeans that didn’t show her crack were the absolute pits. And paired with short shirts! True we have long torsos here, but it was truly horrible.

I never understand the low rise trend, especially with bling on the back pockets. They actually look good on such a very small percentage of the population.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

My 16 year old DD wears the really tight jeans but I'm ok with it and it's what she likes to wear.  🙂

[theelfqueen]

I remember in high school wearing jeans so tight that I had to lay flat on my back to zip them, and I was a size 0 at the time. Going to the bathroom was a nightmare and they weren't like modern Jean's with stretch. 

[PinkTulip]

The Eddie Bauer jeans would be the social kiss of death at my kid’s high school. This is an area that is generally religiously conservative, for the record. Sorry! 

[theelfqueen]

I would focus on shopping in stores /brands popular among teenagers (look where her friends shop). I have a socially awkward teen Boy and shopping some place where the styles are "in" keeps him from choosing "old man" styles that he might tend toward... 

When I first moved to Colorado from Missouri in the early 80s, it was the middle of the school year. I was shocked to discover that girls my age in CO mostly wore pants and jean to school, whereas where I came from in Misssouri, we mostly wore skirts and dresses. After that first few months (when I didn't even have most of my clothes... since our house in MO hadn't sold and we were living in a temporary housing situation) my mom and I agreed to only do a little back to school shopping before school and wait to do most of it after I got to see the fashion trends... I was not really an "on-trend" type but I also didnt want to be wildly out of step. 

[easypeasy]

 

10 hours ago, moonflower said:

We seem to have reached a compromise that involves tightness down to the ankle (where, to be honest, tightness doesn't bother me) but the not-as-tight-in-the-hips-and-thighs variety - probably this will involve buying the larger of the two sizes that kind of fit and then wearing a belt, which she did for most of last year just because she was growing.  Sigh.

I will state for the record that I think it's really unfair that teenage fashion is A. so rigid and B. so sexually objectifying of girls.  I remember being irritated by it as a kid in the late 90s, and that was nothing, NOTHING, compared to now.  What I thought was tight and restrictive then is pretty much un-buyable now, unless you buy jeans with, as mentioned above, rips and things.

I'm not in any universe paying someone to pre-rip my kids' clothes for them. They do enough of this on their own.  

Sigh, that is all.  

 

Oh, dear. Firstly, as a mother of two daughters, I empathize.

But. Baggy skinny jeans and a belt? On behalf of your daughter, I'm begging you to reconsider. Considering that nearly every other girl (and many boys) within sight is going to be wearing the aeropostale-style jeans, no one at that high school is going to be sexually objectifying anyone specifically for wearing them. The truth is that those jeggings/skinny jeans are made of THE MOST COMFORTABLE material known to mankind. It makes it easy to move. Girls are comfortable - no tight waistbands (because spandex!!) and no thick, extra material bunching up at the crotch or behind the knees. Seriously. So comfortable - giving girls the brain power to focus on something other than pinching/hot clothes.

Maybe go with skinny jeans that fit her correctly and looser/flowing/longer tops and sweaters? Then she'd fit in, be super comfortable, and adhere to the modesty standards you prefer. That would be so, so much less awkward than ill-fitting skinny jeans or jeggings which will make her stand out for not-so-good reasons.

I'd be 100% behind you if the low-rise trend beginning at the toddler stage was still a thing (omgggggg, what THAT awful, or what?) - but skinny jeans and jeggings are a blessing from the heavens. Seriously.

(other flaw to buying them a size up is that, due to the heavenly fabric they are created with, they often stretch throughout the day just a bit (depending on the brand, some more than others). If they're already too big, they're going to be gapping at her waist, knees, and backside by the end of the day... 😕 )

[2squared]

I live in the rural Midwest, and skinny jeans and leggings are all the girls wear. AE is the go-to store for my teens and tweens. I would never shop for them at Eddie Bauer, and they would not wear clothes from there either. Well...maybe they would find Eddie Bauer pieces in my closet for nerd day.  lol

I don’t mind the tight clothing trend as I think teens today feel much more comfortable with their clothing and bodies than teens from my generation. I see all sizes of girls wearing all styles, and I am pleased the girls seem to be comfortable in their own skin.  I’m Glad they aren’t trying to hide themselves. I think my 17yo is beautiful, and I think she looks best in form fitting clothes. I wish I had my teen’s bodily self-confidence at the same age. 

[Pen]

I think a better compromise would be when she’s at school or her activities or with her friends she can wear what fits the current skinny jean trend . Including if it isn’t priced over your budget the trend company.  

When she’s going to a Mom activity, or a family get together she has to wear what you think is appropriate. 

As a mom with teen son I would say there no particular sexual objectification to the skinny jeans—it’s just being part of the girls.  (Like on a swim team a swim suit isn’t a sexual objectification thing.) Whereas wearing something that stands out as different will...stand out as different.  A few girls can pull off “different “ as a personal really cool style, but usually it gets translated into “weird” or “nerd” and socially isolates and stigmatizes at that stage.  

 

 

[linders]

From the mom of 2 teenage boys whose female friends are here a lot...#2 look practically baggy to me. #1 is what they are wearing now.

 

[Guest]

4 hours ago, easypeasy said:

 

 

Oh, dear. Firstly, as a mother of two daughters, I empathize.

But. Baggy skinny jeans and a belt? On behalf of your daughter, I'm begging you to reconsider. Considering that nearly every other girl (and many boys) within sight is going to be wearing the aeropostale-style jeans, no one at that high school is going to be sexually objectifying anyone specifically for wearing them. The truth is that those jeggings/skinny jeans are made of THE MOST COMFORTABLE material known to mankind. It makes it easy to move. Girls are comfortable - no tight waistbands (because spandex!!) and no thick, extra material bunching up at the crotch or behind the knees. Seriously. So comfortable - giving girls the brain power to focus on something other than pinching/hot clothes.

Maybe go with skinny jeans that fit her correctly and looser/flowing/longer tops and sweaters? Then she'd fit in, be super comfortable, and adhere to the modesty standards you prefer. That would be so, so much less awkward than ill-fitting skinny jeans or jeggings which will make her stand out for not-so-good reasons.

I'd be 100% behind you if the low-rise trend beginning at the toddler stage was still a thing (omgggggg, what THAT awful, or what?) - but skinny jeans and jeggings are a blessing from the heavens. Seriously.

(other flaw to buying them a size up is that, due to the heavenly fabric they are created with, they often stretch throughout the day just a bit (depending on the brand, some more than others). If they're already too big, they're going to be gapping at her waist, knees, and backside by the end of the day... 😕 )

I agree.

I also agree that longer, looser, flowing tops not only look nice with leggings and jeggings, but make it look dressier and provide some modesty. This is how I wear skinny jeans myself. 

[Guest]

15 hours ago, Mainer said:

I wholeheartedly agree with this. I was out of place, fashion-wise, all through school. It was miserable. I spent a lot of time thinking about it and worrying about clothes. Looking back, I think I would have been more outgoing, developed more friendships, etc. if I had felt like I fit in. Even as a adult, I think about clothes way too much. I've always said that if I have kids, they're going to be allowed to wear whatever's in style, as long as I can afford it.

What about skinny jeans that aren't so thin? Or maybe a few pairs of black ones and dark blue ones? Somehow the lighter blue ones look skimpier.

The girls at my rural school all wear skinny jeans or yoga leggings.

 

Solidarity, sister. This was true for me too. I was heavily mocked for my clothes for about a year and a half in middle school and then not openly mocked, but just silently spurned in high school for my clothes and other ways I was “not cool.” (You know that thread about watching 90210? Well, I was not allowed to watch that show, nor Married With Children, Roseanne, or any other show that kids talked about.)

I think a big part of why it had such a negative effect on me was that my parents did not really talk to me. The OP in this thread, thank God, is at least talking to her dd, asking around, considering how big a deal this is. My parents did not do this. They just handed down their regime and we were meant to follow along without comment.  On top of their principles, we were also poor, so even wanting or asking for new clothes purchased just for me was out of the question. 

I think a lot of my bad feelings over not having the right clothes could have been mitigated if my parents had behaved at all like they care. 

Edited August 9, 2019 by Quill

[hshibley]

18 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

I’ve been looking for boot cut jeans for my dd14 (girls size 16) and I’m struggling. Her body type isn’t suited for skinny jeans and that’s all I can find. Boot cut is much more flattering but they’re nowhere that I’ve found yet.

Does she want bootcut jeans? I’ve got highschoolers and haven’t seen kids wear bootcut jeans in years. I see women of all sizes wearing skinny jeans and leggings.

I think overall teens are way more body confident then we were back in the day. I was picking up ds from cross country practice the other day and it really struck me how much more confidence girls have today. Where I live it’s hot as blazes. Most girls regardless of body type wear shorts mostly spandex and bra tops (which honestly cover more that swimsuit tops). I had run before practice wearing T-shirt and shorts sweating like a pig. I wish I had the confidence to ditch the shirt. 

[Pen]

I think sometimes parents think of “flattering” in different terms than teens do.  Or for different reasons.

This thread is making me dimly recall an Anne of Green Gables problem over a dress. Anne wanted puffed sleeves which was what was “in” at that time,  but [forgot name of her adoptive mom] wanted Anne to have straight cut sleeves. 

I think there might have been an extra cost aspect. But also in my dim recollection it was like the puffed sleeves were seeming to that era’s mom rather indecent, improper.

Edited August 9, 2019 by Pen

[Kanin]

I just don't see the "utility jumpsuit" catching on... at least I hope not... and with cropped legs, no less!!

https://www.gap.co.uk/gap/utility-jumpsuit/000493756.html?dwvar_000493756_fit=regular&dwvar_000493756_color=000493756001&cgid=w-clothing-newarrivals#start=1

 

[fairfarmhand]

23 minutes ago, hshibley said:

Does she want bootcut jeans? I’ve got highschoolers and haven’t seen kids wear bootcut jeans in years. I see women of all sizes wearing skinny jeans and leggings.

I think overall teens are way more body confident then we were back in the day. I was picking up ds from cross country practice the other day and it really struck me how much more confidence girls have today. Where I live it’s hot as blazes. Most girls regardless of body type wear shorts mostly spandex and bra tops (which honestly cover more that swimsuit tops). I had run before practice wearing T-shirt and shorts sweating like a pig. I wish I had the confidence to ditch the shirt. 

Yep. She’s as frustrated as i am. And despite being “out of style” she looks so much better in bootcut that thecstyle is a non issue. 

She hates form fitting clothing of any kind. Really is self conscious about her curves and the skinny jeans/legging seem to make her feel like it’s all on display.

because she’s heavier up top, a more form fitting top is better. 

Seriously it’s her choice. 

 

[fairfarmhand]

I just thought Of a bootcut option—I need to look where the western riding girls shop. They always wear boot cut. 

[maize]

19 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I’ve got really long legs and the shortest waist ever. Low rise jeans were the best thing ever for me. This whole return to high waisted ness is concerning for we the short waisted! I don’t want pants that come to right below my bOOks! I’m all for options for all! 

I'm your opposite, short legs and long torso. I really hated the low rise pants years.

 

[Kanin]

12 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Yep. She’s as frustrated as i am. And despite being “out of style” she looks so much better in bootcut that thecstyle is a non issue. 

She hates form fitting clothing of any kind. Really is self conscious about her curves and the skinny jeans/legging seem to make her feel like it’s all on display.

 because she’s heavier up top, a more form fitting top is better. 

Seriously it’s her choice. 

 

Another plug for Boden (seriously, I should be sponsored, I talk about Boden to EVERYONE!). They have lots of bootcut/straight jean options. Expensive, but they last forever.

https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/womens-jeans#nav

🙂

 

[fairfarmhand]

Just now, Mainer said:

Another plug for Boden (seriously, I should be sponsored, I talk about Boden to EVERYONE!). They have lots of bootcut/straight jean options. Expensive, but they last forever.

https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/womens-jeans#nav

🙂

 

I may have to wait a couple years till her growth slows down. I can’t afford expensive when she’s outgrowing everything so fast! Thanks though! I’ll keep it in mind.

[theelfqueen]

. Never mind - girls 16 not women's 16!

Edited August 9, 2019 by theelfqueen

[BeachGal]

19 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

I’ve been looking for boot cut jeans for my dd14 (girls size 16) and I’m struggling. Her body type isn’t suited for skinny jeans and that’s all I can find. Boot cut is much more flattering but they’re nowhere that I’ve found yet.

 

If she has an old pair she really likes, she might be able to find something on ebay. I sometimes buy new versions of my old favorites that way.

 

18 hours ago, MysteryJen said:

My dd1 was looking for black jeans without rips yesterday that were not really jeggings.

No luck at all.

most of the teen jeans have some sort of rip.

 

H&M and Target had some this spring. They are skinny cut but looser than jeggings. I bought both and like them. No rips, totally black.

 

9 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

I remember in high school wearing jeans so tight that I had to lay flat on my back to zip them, and I was a size 0 at the time. Going to the bathroom was a nightmare and they weren't like modern Jean's with stretch. 

 

Yep. Sometimes needed pliers to pull them up! Then you'd throw on a huge top to complete the look. Rips were popular back then, too. And big hair.

[edelweiss]

53 minutes ago, BeachGal said:

 

If she has an old pair she really likes, she might be able to find something on ebay. I sometimes buy new versions of my old favorites that way.

 

 

H&M and Target had some this spring. They are skinny cut but looser than jeggings. I bought both and like them. No rips, totally black.

 

 

Yep. Sometimes needed pliers to pull them up! Then you'd throw on a huge top to complete the look. Rips were popular back then, too. And big hair.

I used a coat hanger myself! 😂

[MEmama]

3 hours ago, Mainer said:

I just don't see the "utility jumpsuit" catching on... at least I hope not... and with cropped legs, no less!!

https://www.gap.co.uk/gap/utility-jumpsuit/000493756.html?dwvar_000493756_fit=regular&dwvar_000493756_color=000493756001&cgid=w-clothing-newarrivals#start=1

 

I can’t imagine a single place here where an outfit like that would be remotely appropriate or not-ridiculous.

That takes hideousness to a whole new level. 😂

[The Governess]

My dds usually wear skinny jeans. However, my oldest did buy two pairs of “mom” jeans this week - high waisted but baggy. One with rips all over and one without. She has been wearing shorter shirts with those to balance them out (not midriff exposing, but they basically hit at the higher waistline). 

I figure, the teenage years are the prime years to get away with wearing this sort of trendy stuff! It’s like a rite of passage. 😂

[Lady Marmalade]

Those Aeropostale jeggings are my FAVORITE.  They are super comfortable and the high rise keeps everything tucked in and covered.  I far prefer skin-tight clothing on teenagers over the low rise with underwear sticking out. 

 

[ktgrok]

All I can think of is Anne wanting her puffed sleeves. 

I'd get her the pants. Otherwise Matthew is going to go behind your back and have someone make them for her. 

[ktgrok]

22 hours ago, Mainer said:

I wholeheartedly agree with this. I was out of place, fashion-wise, all through school. It was miserable. I spent a lot of time thinking about it and worrying about clothes. Looking back, I think I would have been more outgoing, developed more friendships, etc. if I had felt like I fit in. Even as a adult, I think about clothes way too much. I've always said that if I have kids, they're going to be allowed to wear whatever's in style, as long as I can afford it.

 

yes. Wearing different clothes from everyone is often the opposite of modesty - as it makes a spectacle of the person. And at that age...man things are hard enough without feeling uncomfortable about what you are wearing. Imagine having a job interview or something and not being able to wear the clothes you know the boss expects. Just throws your confidence. 

22 hours ago, OH_Homeschooler said:

 

As a plus-size woman, I weep for our plus-sized teens. Neither high-waisted, pleated jeans nor skin-tight jeggings are very flattering.  

yes and no. I am an apple and if i wear a slightly longer top I actually look better, probably, in skinny jeans. I looked good enough I bought two pair. Never wear them though, because they are tight and in my head Jeans are for DOING things...hiking, yard work, etc. 

21 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

Cropped pants turn me into a hobbit - it’s like instant Halloween costume 😆

Same. I look like a cube, I say. 

20 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Your dd is right kind of.  That’s all the girls are wearing right now but apparently they are on the way out so if you’re super uncomfortable maybe you can research the incoming fashions and she can get ahead.

https://getyourprettyon.com/skinny-jeans-out-2019/

 

ha! I was just thinking hmmm, if those jeggings are really that comfortable maybe I'll get some. Figures that means they are going out of style, lol

17 hours ago, Seasider too said:

 

Maybe it’s about fitting in, but I prefer to think of it as making the clothing a nonissue by not being too far out of the norm in either direction. Does that make sense? 

Exactly. Just like you don't wear sweatpants to the office or a cocktail dress to school. 

[teachermom2834]

I’m just think it is great the style is comfortable and functional. I’d rather see girls wearing comfortable sensible clothes and focusing on all the other more productive things they can do with their time. The jegging style also lends itself to comfortable shirts and shoes so I hope my dd sticks with it even when it goes out of style 🙂 

[Pen]

3 hours ago, MEmama said:

I can’t imagine a single place here where an outfit like that would be remotely appropriate or not-ridiculous.

That takes hideousness to a whole new level. 😂

 

And yet it looked like size small in pink was sold out?!?!   Maybe with the right accessories ...

[Pen]

57 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

yes. Wearing different clothes from everyone is often the opposite of modesty - as it makes a spectacle of the person. And at that age...man things are hard enough without feeling uncomfortable about what you are wearing. Imagine having a job interview or something and not being able to wear the clothes you know the boss expects. Just throws your confidence. 

Agree.

 

57 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

ha! I was just thinking hmmm, if those jeggings are really that comfortable maybe I'll get some. Figures that means they are going out of style, lol

 

They are. But be careful 🤣— I think I had a weight gain while wearing leggings because there’s no feedback from a limited waistband.  

57 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

Exactly. Just like you don't wear sweatpants to the office or a cocktail dress to school. 

 

Good analogy.  

 

What if a young woman’s mom told her her starting into working life (normal for the situation) business clothes were too form fitting and made her wear sweat pants to be more modest?

[sassenach]

The style here is actually the opposite- mom jeans, straight leg, wide leg, not tight at all. I think it looks awful, but that's definitely the style. Look at Madewell for examples. 

Of course, girls are still wearing leggings as pants, so there's definitely too much showing a good portion of the time.

Edited August 9, 2019 by sassenach

[Pen]

1 hour ago, WendyAndMilo said:

Am I the only one here who loved the Gap outfit?  😳

 

The jeans were ok I thought.  The jumpsuit not so much.   But they also seemed to be “women’s” not teens, juniors, or misses.  I wonder if they still have juniors.

anyway others must love it too or small would not be out.

Edited August 9, 2019 by Pen

[Frances]

11 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I’ve got really long legs and the shortest waist ever. Low rise jeans were the best thing ever for me. This whole return to high waisted ness is concerning for we the short waisted! I don’t want pants that come to right below my bOOks! I’m all for options for all! 

Yes, options for all! So everyone can wear what looks and feels best for them.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I have no problem with the skinny jean/jegging style, as long as they're well fitting.  I draw the line where dd starts tugging at her crotch, pulling her jeans (or shorts) out of various crevices.  If the leggings or jeggings are stretchy enough to not bind, and the fabric is thick enough to not be see-through, and they're loose enough to not accentuate her underwear, I'm okay with the style.  I do prefer that she wears longer tops with leggings.

[Kanin]

Jeans have been on my mind for a few days, thanks Hive! I was at TJ Max and found these jeans by Lucky:  https://www.amazon.com/Lucky-Brand-Womens-Lolita-Skinny/dp/B07K2S2PHH/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

They're labeled as skinny, but they're not tight around my ankles, and they're not skin tight either. I would say they're quite slim, closer to skinny than boot cut. 

I'm not sure if Lucky is a brand that a 14 year old girl would approve of, but the OP might want to check them out. 🙂

[Pen]

On 8/9/2019 at 7:23 PM, Margaret in CO said:

If you buck hay bales, the thighs is where jeans wear out. 

 

Especially if lifting bales onto a truck — they seem to wear on the thigh of the one leg that tends to be used to support the bale...