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Storygirl

Therapy/counseling for teen with high functioning autism

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On 7/12/2019 at 5:28 AM, Lecka said:

Also — some things I have tried with my older son.....

A choice between me bringing it up at school or we try something that is not school.  He is very highly motivated for me not to bring things up at school, and he has made grudging cooperation on a few things where he knew I would bring it up at school otherwise.  It’s hard to explain but if your son would not want to see a school counselor or have more time with a specialist of some kind at school, it could be helpful.  Or maybe he would rather have it at school and have you less involved (my older son is also motivated to have me less involved a lot of the time).  

I have also made some deals with him that if he goes to something a certain number of times and gives it an honest try, I won’t make him go after that.  We did that with church youth group (but not at our church, at one that has kids from a lot of churches).  Well — he went with a good attitude 6 times and then he didn’t want to go anymore.  But I was satisfied he gave it a chance.  I wouldn’t do that unless it was okay with you.  I also made him agree basically — he would try something else after a year.  At this point he has agreed to try youth group again after we move (next year).  But for now I think he gave it an honest chance.  I think he did go more than 6 times actually but I’m not sure now.  

I have also said things like “look you are going to do at least one thing,” but then he can have a choice of 2-3 things.  He doesn’t want to do any of them, but he still has some choice.  Choice (offering choices) is another big ABA strategy, btw.  This won’t work if he refuses all of them or uses it as leverage to say none of it must be that important.  But my older son will compromise this way.  It doesn’t take one conversation because he will argue for nothing, but if he doesn’t choose then I will choose for him.  But ideally he will choose because just the act of choosing creates buy-in (in theory).  But if he refuses then oh, well.  (Edit:  I will pick for him.)

 

We use these strategies a lot in our house.

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