Has Anyone Gone Back to Work?

[Carolinagirl1]

After taking YEARS off? Once your kids were older? Did you give up your career and then go back? I'm feeling so antsy. My story - I was a dental hygienist and then went back to school for my BSN. I worked as an RN for 10 years in the hospital and in outpatient clinics. After my 2nd daughter was born when I was 35, I worked very part time for 2 more years and stopped when I was 37. At that time I took over the bookkeeping for my husband's business and still do that till this day (almost 10 years later), as well as homeschool my 11 year old daughter. When my mom died, I found a 1 day a week program for my daughter and signed her up for online classes so I could handle my mom's estate. Now that it is settled and my daughter can do a lot of work independently, I find myself bored or anxiously busy. I'm either casually helping my daughter with her work, driving her (and my other daughter) to lessons, doing the bookkeeping for my husband, cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc. Part of me wants to get a job, although not working nights, weekends, etc - killing myself, and part of me wants to just continue to go along as I am now. There is part of me that feels like I could be using my degrees and earning an income and part of me that worries that if I do that, I will be missing out at home. I'm 47 now, and just don't know if it's worth it to go back at this point. Anyone else in the same boat? What did you do?

Edited June 26, 2019 by Carolinagirl1

[*****]

So you are in a transition stage, as I like to think of it as.  It's very normal to wonder what you should be doing, if anything (even though you still have 2 kiddos to look after.  

 After staying home for 20 years raising my family and homeschooling, I was suddenly finished with the homeschooling. Although I still had 1 in high school,  I thought I would have time to do special things with my mom, but then she had a stroke and passed away.  So, for me it was grieving several losses (but not really realizing it), and wondering what I was to do with my life at that point.  Within 7 months, I started tutoring 2 students.  I probably should have taken more time for myself first, but I do think this helped with the healing process. (I am good at procrastinating and should have been purging homeschool things, but didn't.)

Within a year after that, I got the opportunity to go back to teaching part time and took it (was in my early 50's).  However, I was scared to death!  20 years out of the public school system and things had changed! Kids had changed!  I didn't know if I would be able to connect with them again, discipline, or if I still even 'had it'!   I just took 1 day at a time and it worked for me.  Prayers helped😉!

Anyway, you could always volunteer. That is easy, because you can set your own hours. Or you could help with a co-op if your kids are involved, or offer tutoring or classes in your home...(then you wouldn't feel like you were missing out...)That way you would give yourself time to see if you want to be committed to something at this point, and it wouldn't have to be a long commitment.  I think it is normal to feel restless.  After all, when the kids were younger, we were always on the go because there was so much to do.  

Or take time to do things you used to like doing but couldn't while raising your youngsters. Maybe take a class for yourself. It can be a fun class, exercise, book club...Just remember this is a transition and it's ok to take time for yourself.  Just breathe...

[MEmama]

I went back to work after 15 years at home, once we stopped homeschooling and DS started public high school. It's worked out well; I work part time during school hours, so I still have time to do house stuff and be available for him. 

The benefits have been many. Financially I don't "have" to work, but earning some money and knowing I CAN have been good for me. I'm learning so many new skills and gaining a lot of confidence; I'm a different employee than I was before I was a mom. 

It's been a positive change for the family, too. It's good for DS to see me as someone other than just mom, and I've learned to ask for/expect more help around the house now that I'm not home all day. DH has really stepped up in that area--definitely positive for both of us.

I agree with a pp that the season of having high schoolers is a transition. For me it's become increasingly important to make sure I'm on firm footing in my life when DS leaves for university; for me that includes working, having friendships and knowing my empty nest relationship with DH is rock solid. 

Volunteering can be a great way to ease back into the working world, and comes with the bonus of learning new/updating skills as well as help build up your modern resume.

Navigating this season can be tough but also rewarding.  

[Laura Corin]

I went back to work after thirteen years at home.  I had previously taught English overseas and then taken an MBA before working as an analyst in the City of London.

I took the first job I could, which turned out to be the part-time village postmistress (no one else wanted the job).  While I was there, I took a Microsoft course to document my computer ability (as I was 50 by that point and some might doubt it).  Once I'd been there a couple of years, I applied for an admin role (also part-time) in a building firm - I applied for about eight admin roles and got this one.  I stayed there three years because I knew that the local university, where I wanted to work, required three years of admin experience in advance of application.  I've now worked in university administration in two different departments for a total of four years. 

I am not earning what I earned before, but that's the choice we made by my staying at home all those years.  I expect to stay with this employer until retirement - I could attempt to move up in the organisation, but I might go part-time instead in five years.  The work isn't very thrilling, but it's fine and I feel as if I'm doing something useful.  Husband was laid off at 56 and has only worked part-time since, so my income is crucial to the family.

[DawnM]

Yes, I didn't work for almost 12 years and I honestly didn't like being at home.  But I had a son with special needs and I could not put him in school as school was a disaster for him, so I stayed home.  

Once he was a bit more settled (finished with high school and seemed to be doing fine) , I went back to work.  I have been back, full time, for 3 years now.   I am a school counselor and work in a local public school.  Since we are in a new state than I was in when I actually worked before, I won't ever be able to get my full retirement, but do plan to get 2/3 of it.

[Wheres Toto]

I went back to work a few years ago after being home for 9 years.   Dh was "self-employed" and we really needed the medical benefits.  At that time, the kids were young enough that we had to hire a nanny/private teacher to be home with them.  That worked because we didn't really need my salary, just the medical benefits.   I returned to the previous work I had done as an executive assistant.   I started through a temp agency, and I had kept up my skills so went permanent within 3 weeks.  I worked there for 3 years, quit when dh got a job with benefits, continued doing very occasional contract work for them for another 2 years, then opened my own business teaching science classes and tutoring homeschoolers (mostly, I have a few public school offerings).  

I do better when I have outside schedules to follow.  I'm much much busier but still getting a lot more done even besides the "work" assignments.

[GinaPagnato]

I went back to work when my youngest entered high school. I'm still homeschooling, but not in the traditional sense that I did for years before that. For example, I don't sit and teach this DD any specific classes. Almost everything is through our local co-op. She needs help managing her time and general homework help, but nothing like the time and effort I had been putting in for years when all my kids were home and I was in the thick of it. Once this DD entered high school, I had a lot more time on my hands and was itching to go back to work. I've also come to realize I'm a very organized person and waste very little time. I don't know why that's the case, but I know it is. So I'm able to get a ton of stuff done in a short period of time, especially now that I don't have any littles and I'm not waiting around for slowly plodding toddlers to get with my program, lol.

I love working, but I needed to be where I am right now in life/child-rearing/hsing, etc. for it to actually be feasible for me to go back full-time. Possibly I could have started part-time when the kids were younger, like your kids' ages, but I was quite knee-deep in hsing, volunteering, etc., so I'm not sure that I would've had the time or energy to even do part-time work.

If you have the time and space to try PT work, I'd encourage you to do it. It's very balancing to have something to do other than raise kids, cook, clean, rinse and repeat. Also, when your kids are older and really don't need your presence much, it's much easier to go back FT if you've got a PT track record.

[Jenny in Florida]

In my pre-kids life, I was an editor and technical writer. I left my last full-time job when I had my daughter, freelanced for a couple of years until my pregnancy with my son knocked me on my behind, energy-wise, and then focused on full-time mommy-ing for a few years. When my husband's employment situation became unstable, I worked part-time retail for a few years, but I quit once he was solidly back on track (mostly because it wasn't cost-effective to try and juggle my puny part-time hours with his much higher-paying professional job). I didn't work for a paycheck again for 10 years.

I went back to work very part-time doing some online tutoring when my son was 15 and doing all online classes. At that point, my daughter had already graduated from college and was getting ready to move herself several states away, and my role in "homeschooling" my son had been reduced to record keeping and driving him around town. The hourly rate for tutoring was ridiculously low, but I had the freedom to choose my own hours from whatever was available and to work, in theory, as little or as much as I wanted. ("In theory," because I had to sign up for the hours I wanted to work, selecting from what was posted for that week. So, even if I wanted to work 40 hours in a given week, there might be only 10 available.)

When my son graduated, I rewrote my resume to feature the recent tutoring and obscure the 18-year gap since my last full-time, professional job and used that to get a second part-time job tutoring in person at one of those strip mall study skills/exam prep centers. For the last five years, I've been scrabbling my way back to a "real job."

There are a bunch of us going through this transition now, though. You might find it helpful to join the club:

 

 

[Murphy101]

That group is great at encouragement and being a good sounding board. I’m glad I started it though usually I’m not here enough to participate much. It’s been a weird couple weeks (years?) in my house.  Actually it’s never not been weird now that I think about it  

 

[Mom0012]

I started working for a few hours at night last year when my dh was laid off.  I needed something at night since I was caring for my mom and wanted to be around for my dd. Now, my dd is working with me and my ds is helping while home for college, so that aspect is nice. And it is good for giving me some structure and making me feel like I am contributing to our household finances at a time where my contributions are not as great as they were in our home. 

However, it is not a job that offers any mental stimulation or challenge. Or fulfillment. I had been preparing to return to doing tax work last year before my mom got so sick, thinking it would be a great year to do it with the big changes to the tax code. Now, I have no desire to do that. I want something more fulfilling and am starting to consider tutoring. I’d do it for free if I had the right student. Once my dd goes to college, I’d love to find a family that is “homeschooling” that needs someone to teach their 5 and 7 year old children. I saw something like that pop up last year, but the timing wasn’t good for me. I’ve also been looking at the local tutoring center and a church that offers after school help. Or, I could see myself as a nanny to an infant. I would love that!

[Mbelle]

Following. It is a bit different stepping back out there in the work world.  

I am considering going back to work part time.  My 2nd child will graduate next spring and I'll have a little one left for the next 9 years.  Dh works from home 2 days a week and we will likely send child 3 to 2 day/week hybrid school again in a few years.  So we would have some flexibilty.

I was accepted to radiology tech program and am thinking about going through with it. I already have a BS so I can cut almost 1 year off the program.  My neighbor does this and works 2 (10-12 hour) days per week, which would be a perfect situation for us and it's a fairly recession proof career.  My other option is starting a little school/tutoring.   I do love teaching but the money is not as sure and it is definitely not recession proof.  I'm thinking of casting a net and see what happens.  Is anyone a rad tech or started a small class/school?

[Tree Frog]

Where does one look for jobs? It used to be I could look in the newspaper for a large listing of possibilities, but there are very few jobs posted there now. Is there a site to look at? Is that what LinkedIn is? Or do I need to look at individual company's websites?

When my oldest started public high school 7 years ago, I was able to volunteer in the middle school library. I took my younger 2 and they did school there. When dh deployed and all 3 were in school, I volunteered there nearly full time. The first year after we moved, I stayed at home, mostly bored, so I first got a job taking care of small children in a program designed to help non native English speakers learn English. After that, I took substitute teaching jobs, which is what I'm planning to do now. The last 3 years, I volunteered a fair amount of time with ds's band. I really like subbing. However, dh keeps making noises about how much he'd like to stay home, so I need to find something more permanent. But I don't know where to look! Any ideas?

[SeaConquest]

I haven't practiced as an attorney for over a decade (I stay on inactive status, in case I want to reactivate my license). Even though my kids are still young, I am antsy and bored with just homeschooling. I never intended to do this with my life, so I need something more to occupy my time. I know that returning to the law would be all-encompassing for me; I am just not able to compartmentalize as a litigator, so I've decided to do something else completely. I'm going back to school to hopefully become a nurse practitioner. I start my second term (of 5)  in an accelerated BSN program on August 1st (already completed all my requirements for term 1 and am trying to get ahead for term 2). If I finish, I will graduate in July 2021, which will make me 46 when I start working as a nurse and likely around 50 if/when I complete grad school (I am hoping to complete a DNP). I wanted something with more flexibility, more portability, and more personal satisfaction. Hopefully, this is it.

[Mbelle]

17 minutes ago, SeaConquest said:

I haven't practiced as an attorney for over a decade (I stay on inactive status, in case I want to reactivate my license). Even though my kids are still young, I am antsy and bored with just homeschooling. I never intended to do this with my life, so I need something more to occupy my time. I know that returning to the law would be all-encompassing for me; I am just not able to compartmentalize as a litigator, so I've decided to do something else completely. I'm going back to school to hopefully become a nurse practitioner. I start my second term (of 5)  in an accelerated BSN program on August 1st (already completed all my requirements for term 1 and am trying to get ahead for term 2). If I finish, I will graduate in July 2021, which will make me 46 when I start working as a nurse and likely around 50 if/when I complete grad school (I am hoping to complete a DNP). I wanted something with more flexibility, more portability, and more personal satisfaction. Hopefully, this is it.

I looked at accelerated BS to BSN program.  Are you able to take classes part time?  One of the programs I looked at is 40 hours/week for about 12 months and I could not swing that with my little guy still so young. 

[SeaConquest]

Just now, Mbelle said:

I looked at accelerated BS to BSN program.  Are you able to take classes part time?  One of the programs I looked at is 40 hours/week for about 12 months and I could not swing that with my little guy still so young. 

The program is through Western Governors University. It is a hybrid schooling model. I do my didactic courses online and my clinicals in intensive periods (usually three 12 hour shifts per week) about every 3 months. So, I don't have to drive to lectures. I just do my classes around my schedule and I block off my clinicals months in advance and have a babysitter/husband on standby for when I have clinicals. So, if I have to do 60 hours of psych -- that is five, 12-hour shifts -- and you know what weeks you will have to do those shifts. I may not know my exact hours until a week or two beforehand (because I have a preceptor for each clinical rotation, and I will basically work her schedule), but I know which weeks to plan for. They have the program in several states -- CA, IN, TX, FL, UT.

ETA link: https://www.wgu.edu/online-nursing-health-degrees/rn-prelicensure-nursing-bachelors-program.html

Edited June 26, 2019 by SeaConquest

[Jenny in Florida]

46 minutes ago, wilrunner said:

Where does one look for jobs? It used to be I could look in the newspaper for a large listing of possibilities, but there are very few jobs posted there now. Is there a site to look at? Is that what LinkedIn is? Or do I need to look at individual company's websites?

 

Yes, you can look for jobs on LinkedIn. That's not "what" it is, or not all that it is, but you can search there.

Yes, you can also keep an eye on individual company's sites. I have a folder of bookmarks on my computer of the companies in which I am specifically interested, and I cycle through them a couple of times a week taking a look at the jobs they have posted.

Other popular job search sites include:

Glassdoor

Indeed

CareerBuilder

ZipRecruiter

Edited June 26, 2019 by Jenny in Florida

[Night Elf]

My children are young adults. When we finished homeschooling I just stayed home and did nothing. I was content for a while but then got bored because no one needed me anymore. In October of 2017 (I think that was when) I started volunteering at my no-kill animal shelter. Then in January I moved my volunteer work to their thrift store. Fortunately for me, it led to a paying job. I increased my hours and started "working" in June 2018. In September, I was made part of the management team. I increased my hours to full time but just couldn't do it. It was just too much for me. So I made a better schedule for myself. I work 31 hours, sometimes more. It's not the administrative work I used to do. It's not daycare which I loved. But I've found my niche. I'm extremely content at the present time. It did take a lot of courage for me to begin volunteering though. I had been out of work for so long and I knew nothing about taking care of animals, or when I moved to the thrift store, nothing about retail. 

I still have one child at home. He's 22 and has Aspergers but is completely independent now so I'm happy to be going out and doing something 5 days a week.

[Ottakee]

I worked as a special education teacher for 2 years before I stopped to stay home when ds came at 7 years old.  For the next 20 years I fostered over 100 kiddos and adopted my 2 girls.

About 3 years ago I started back subbing 1-2 days a week in special education.  Then last year my now ex was arrested and I had to bump up to almost full time subbing.  I also added in 1-2 homebound students where I went to their homes for an hour twice a week to work on their goals.

I could go back and take 2 college classes and renew my teaching certificate.  Doable but teaching is soooo paperwork intensive and I don't know if I can do that with my kids at home too needing so much attention.

I might look at a hire in for teacher aide.  My biggest issue is I could use the retirement benefits from the state retirement program I got started in back 1989.

[scrapbookbuzz]

I tried. Took a job recently I'd had my eye on for a few years. Was so excited! Moved to another state and everything! Turned out to be a disaster.
So now I've moved back. I've decided NOT to pursue that industry anymore (at least at this time) and have decided to pursue business for myself, one
that truly helps people - and doesn't stress me out!

[Katy]

I don't know about any of this, I still have littles, but for you specifically, when I was sick of nursing I took a couple different jobs in insurance. Depending on where you live, health and life insurance companies hire nurses to handle claims.  Banker's hours, lots of decent benefits, and it pays pretty well. Your background in bookkeeping and in nursing might be a nice segway for you particularly.  It's possible this might even be a remote work thing (although it might be tough because when I was done they were bringing most of the remote work back in because of privacy concerns).  I would check online and see if there are any insurance companies near you that handle claims.

[Carolinagirl1]

19 minutes ago, Katy said:

I don't know about any of this, I still have littles, but for you specifically, when I was sick of nursing I took a couple different jobs in insurance. Depending on where you live, health and life insurance companies hire nurses to handle claims.  Banker's hours, lots of decent benefits, and it pays pretty well. Your background in bookkeeping and in nursing might be a nice segway for you particularly.  It's possible this might even be a remote work thing (although it might be tough because when I was done they were bringing most of the remote work back in because of privacy concerns).  I would check online and see if there are any insurance companies near you that handle claims.

I actually just forwarded my resume to my friend who is a physician that works for an insurance company. The nurses that they hire work from home and they are looking for a nurse with my background!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I've also considered taking some medical coding classes and certification exams. I am super excited to learn a different side of nursing that I can do till I retire. I'm scared, though, to transition from a season of life that I love so much. I love the idea of working in insurance. Hopefully I have the experience needed!!

 

[Carolinagirl1]

3 hours ago, SeaConquest said:

I haven't practiced as an attorney for over a decade (I stay on inactive status, in case I want to reactivate my license). Even though my kids are still young, I am antsy and bored with just homeschooling. I never intended to do this with my life, so I need something more to occupy my time. I know that returning to the law would be all-encompassing for me; I am just not able to compartmentalize as a litigator, so I've decided to do something else completely. I'm going back to school to hopefully become a nurse practitioner. I start my second term (of 5)  in an accelerated BSN program on August 1st (already completed all my requirements for term 1 and am trying to get ahead for term 2). If I finish, I will graduate in July 2021, which will make me 46 when I start working as a nurse and likely around 50 if/when I complete grad school (I am hoping to complete a DNP). I wanted something with more flexibility, more portability, and more personal satisfaction. Hopefully, this is it.

So awesome!! That is a big jump and takes so much courage! I have several friends who practiced law and got out. Nursing is such a big change from law!! What I love about nursing is the variety. Are you planning to do family nurse practitioner? I'm sure it's hard to say at this point till you do clinicals and decide on what type of population you want to work with. I did neonatal ICU and pediatrics mostly. A little ER and some outpatient clinics. I planned to go back for FNP because of the variety and the hours. I started applying and talking to the schools and bought the textbooks and tried to get a jump start on studying, but my girls were younger and my studying was derailed because they needed me. So awesome that you are almost ready to start your 2nd term! Good luck! Nursing is a fabulous career. Oh, just another idea - my best friend is a CRNA and has worked part time and prn making a killing, so that is even another option!!

 

[Guest]

I am planning to start working outside the home this summer. My youngest child starts high school in the fall, after having homeschooled 3 kids since 2002. 

I forgot there was a social group about returning to work. I think I am even a member! 

I can relate to @Carolinagirl1 saying “anxiously busy.” That is exactly what I feel like I am doing right now. My kids all have jobs and many days, everyone is gone at their jobs except me; then I feel anxiously busy. I’m weeding my garden and washing my windows and getting the oil changed in the cars...but I feel like this is just an attempt at time structuring and wanting to feel like I’m doing something. 

There is an aspect of me that feels scared about what will happen to all the domestic management stuff I currently do? Also, I do work at home for dh’s business, and I will still have to do that, so I will have a job-and-a-half. I am a little afraid I will no longer have time to garden, knit, read, write, do photography, hike. OTOH, I might find that I still do those things, I just don’t waste as much time on busywork as I do right now.