Who has experience with therapy?

[lgliser]

My 12 year old's pediatrician suggested therapy for anxiety and really severe mood swings. She gets so upset that she scratches herself sometimes and just has really inappropriate outbursts. 

My question is though, I guess I don't really understand what therapy is supposed to do. My daughter does not WANT to go. She hates the idea of talking to someone about things that ultimately embarrass her. So it's not like this is going to be a safe place where she can just vent or whatever. I guess maybe it could be if the therapist really connected with her....

When you go to therapy for a specific reason, is there a goal of "fixing" it? And then not needing therapy any more? 

I'm also confused because if anxiety/depression are things that might be caused by a chemical imbalance, and fixed by medication, why is talking to someone helpful?

I guess my hope would be that the therapist will give her strategies on how to deal with stress. How to control her reactions a little better. Is that a reasonable thing to expect?

[Liz CA]

Not all therapy is "talk therapy." I would look for a specialist familiar with children and anxiety and let them know ahead of time that she is resistant and feels embarrassed. They should be able to offer various options.

[Murphy101]

A good therapist can walk her through healthy coping mechanism for her anxiety. 

A good therapist is open to exploring how to get medicated help to add to that coping if that isn’t enough to her. 

And don’t discount “talk therapy” - there’s no small value in having someone you can use as a sounding board to ease your mind or work through issues with zero repercussions or worry. As a mom, we always hope to be that someone for our kids especially our daughters, but if we are honest with ourselves, that’s just not realistic all the time. And that’s not a criticism about anyone. It’s just the reality of growing up and navigating relationships. 

Lastly, don’t be discouraged if it takes trying two or three therapists. It’s like finding a good pediatrician. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find one that works for your needs. 

[gardenmom5]

my daughter started having severe mood swings around that age.   after YEARS of therapists, doctors, multiple diagnosis and medications (that never led to improvement)… she's been diagnosed very hf asd.  AND... she is seeing a somatic therapist.  for the first time in more than 20 years, we're seeing real improvement, and function.  

I would also suggest a daily yoga practice.  even just 20 minutes of a calming practice can do wonders for anxiety as it will integrate the nervous system.

[Pawz4me]

DS20 is on the spectrum and has GAD. He's on anxiety medication, but he also saw a therapist for awhile. The therapist taught him breathing techniques and other strategies to help him stay calm/keep his anxiety under control. Even with medication there can sometimes be breakthrough anxiety, and it helps a lot to have strategies to deal with it.

[DawnM]

Therapy helped my son a lot.  He is starting to go again.  

I am wondering if you could present therapy a bit differently.  It sounds like she thinks this is some sort of punishment for her behaviors, and maybe reframing it would be helpful.  Assure her that the goal of therapy is not to sit around and talk about her negative behaviors.  The goal of therapy is to find better coping strategies, part of that will be really fun as she and the therapist play some games together to get to know each other, and part of that will be (most likely) visualizing, role playing, and practicing breathing and/or other strategies to use to circumvent the current stressors that are causing the anxiety.

You can even go with her the first session or two and assure her you aren't just dropping her off.  Our therapist's lobby is great.  Wifi, TV, books to read, coffee and tea, etc.....I have spent countless hours in there! 😜

And tell her that she has to go.  I told my son that if he had a physical illness, I would do everything in my power to help him heal as that is what a parent does, and mental health is no different, I care too much not to try to find a way to help.

[PeachyDoodle]

Therapy is mostly about giving you the tools to cope with whatever your issues are. The first part of that is being able to recognize your feelings for what they are -- an extremely useful skill. A good therapist is able to break down walls and help you get past the feelings of embarrassment that keep you from opening up. It might night happen on the first visit, but when it does, it's often a relief to be able to share your deepest thoughts, fears, and emotions with someone who doesn't judge you. 

I would tell your daughter that everyone feels scared and embarrassed at first, that's completely normal, the therapist knows it and will help her with that too.

I second the suggestion for yoga or even some short meditation exercises. My kids like Sitting Still Like a Frog.

[sweet2ndchance]

A good therapist who is experienced with working with children in therapy will do exactly what you are hoping for and will do so in a manner that makes your daughter slowly become more comfortable with talking to him/her. A good therapist will not bombard her with questions about things that embarrass her but work to build a relationship with her before working on the more difficult and embarrassing topics. A good therapist will not push her to talk about things she doesn't want to talk about until some trust has been established and even then your daughter has the right to say she's not ready to talk about that yet with the therapist. Yes, medication will help but so will working on reducing the need for medications with coping strategies.

I also tend to self mutilate by scratching and digging my nails when I am extremely anxious or having an anxiety attack. I have scars all over my hands and arms from it. It's not an appropriate coping mechanism and I know that but I don't even notice that I'm doing it sometimes. I have worked on it in therapy and when I'm with a good therapist, in addition to my medications, I do it much less often. When I am just on medication but not in therapy for whatever reason, I start doing it more often.

[PeterPan]

If the anxiety has a physical cause, it might be nice to run genetics and get that treated. For $99 with 23andme you can get that data and actually deal with the underlying physical problems. If the dc has language issues, therapy might shut her down. Her DSM diagnoses should be up to date as well, and you'll want to figure out who she's problem-solving with in private.

 

[fairfarmhand]

PLEASE DON'T QUOTE! I'LL PROBABLY DELETE LATER!

My dd is 21. She started with the anxiety around 11-12. In over 21 years of parenting, my biggest regret was not getting her help, in the form of a therapist when she was younger. 

. 

 

I'm sure everyone experiences anxiety differently, but this is how anxiety has affected my oldest child's life and all of the rest of us. 

When she's in therapy, she does much better. When she blows it off, its much worse.

The therapist gives her tools to manage the anxiety. I think it's also helpful for my dd to hear from a professional, "Really, you can't change other people. But you can manage your reactions." And my dd has learned that when she manages her own reactions, other people respond better to her overtures and she can interact more normally with others. She sleeps better when she's in therapy. (fatigue makes her issues worse)

My dd is on medication, but it's like when you pull a muscle and the dr gives you pain meds, muscle relaxers, and physical therapy, each piece is a part of the solution. I hope that my dd can eventually mature into needing therapy less than now. But, if she had an illness like Cerebral Palsy, therapy would be part of her life forever. So whatever she needs to stay healthy is what I hope she will make happen. By the way, some people are able to cope with anxiety without meds through therapy. And that's good too. 

Any way, that's just a giant brain dump about my kid and anxiety. Hope that gives you food for thought. It's not that I think that your child will end up where mine has necessarily. But therapy maybe could help your family avoid some minefields through her teen years. And I totally agree that you she needs to go whether or not she wants too. If your dd had a physical injury that needed PT, you'd make her go. If she had a cavity, she'd have to go to the dentist and get it filled. Mental health is just as important.

Edited June 27, 2019 by fairfarmhand

[EKS]

I would look for a therapist who does cognitive behavioral therapy with children and teens.  

[BeachGal]

Besides what everyone else has mentioned, here are some other ideas to consider:

I just received a wearable vagal toning device called the Sensate which I got for my youngest (22 y.o.) who is prone to bouts of anxiety. He is about to start a high pressured job which is why I got it. During a 10” session, it’s worn on the sternum about four fingers down from collar bone. It monitors heart and respiration rate, temp, etc. and then begins to emit sub-audible sound waves which help tone the vagus nerve. It vibrates when it does this and the wearer can control the intensity of the vibration. At the same time, you wear headphones and listen to a track of music that is designed to help calm your brain. You would use it once or several times per day, as needed, to help tone the vagus nerve. I’ve been trying it and have found that I do feel a lot calmer but I’m not very anxious anyway. My son is traveling so I’ll have to wait and see what he thinks. Here’s an article and, ftr, it is now shipping out.

https://gadgetsandwearables.com/2017/06/14/sensate/

Steven Porges’s Polyvagal Theory and Richard Davidson’s books on using meditation to treat affect disorders are both worth reading. They are both very well-respected researchers.

I also like somatic therapies. Pete Levine and David Bercelli have written about this. Somatic therapy ties in with the Polyvagal Theory. Breathing exercises are also toning the vagus nerve.

Just being able to name a feeling has been shown to help with emotional regulation. Yale has been doing research in this area. They offer a free app called Mood Meter that you use throughout the day. It involves identifying how you’re feeling.

http://ei.yale.edu/mood-meter-app/

Sleep is incredibly important. Light exposure, daily routines are very important, too. Some people need more light exposure mid-day. Matthew Walker is a sleep expert and Satchin Panda is an expert on Circadian rhythms. They’re both worth checking out.

Charles Raison is another researcher who is doing interesting work.

Food-wise, magnesium can be helpful as well as a generally non-inflammatory diet.

Dialectical behavior therapy can help to tamp down emotions as well. There’s a good workbook on Amazon that teaches how to do this.

Edited June 26, 2019 by BeachGal
Added info

[Valley Girl]

At that age, OP, my DC did not want to do any kind of therapy either. Unlike an appointment for a physical problem, for therapy to be successful, the patient has to participate. We (with the OK of the therapist) tied going to the appointment with doing something fun afterward--going for ice cream. We kept it up for a year or so, doing some family therapy in the mix. While the therapist made some inroads, overall we spent a LOT of money out-of-network for not a lot of real progress. We tried again a year or so later with someone different. Same result. We kept the option open. Made sure DC knew the help was available. (DC was also under a doctor's care for the conditions all this time.) Fast forward a couple more years, and DC decided some help would be...helpful. DC has now been seeing a therapist regularly for several months. He's participating. My point is, keep trying. Don't give up. Keep the options open. It may take time for your child to buy into the idea that therapy can help. Good luck. The road is not an easy one.

ETA: I reread this post and felt I needed to clarify. I don't mean to imply that people who have physical problems don't have to participate in recovery. Far from it. I just mean that a physical problem can often be treated more...objectively... in that doctors can run bloodwork or do other tests to get a diagnosis and prescribe a treatment. Sure, a patient has to be honest about symptoms and willing to follow the treatment. But treatment doesn't usuallly have to rely on the patient baring his or her soul necessarily. That's what makes mental health issues so hard, IMO.

Edited June 26, 2019 by Valley Girl

[itsheresomewhere]

17 minutes ago, Valley Girl said:

At that age, OP, my DC did not want to do any kind of therapy either. Unlike an appointment for a physical problem, for therapy to be successful, the patient has to participate. We (with the OK of the therapist) tied going to the appointment with doing something fun afterward--going for ice cream. We kept it up for a year or so, doing some family therapy in the mix. While the therapist made some inroads, overall we spent a LOT of money out-of-network for not a lot of real progress. We tried again a year or so later with someone different. Same result. We kept the option open. Made sure DC knew the help was available. (DC was also under a doctor's care for the conditions all this time.) Fast forward a couple more years, and DC decided some help would be...helpful. DC has now been seeing a therapist regularly for several months. He's participating. My point is, keep trying. Don't give up. Keep the options open. It may take time for your child to buy into the idea that therapy can help. Good luck. The road is not an easy one.

This has been our experience but DC is not there yet to want therapy.  We just tried another six months and no progress.  Instead, we have been using a CBT book recommended by the therapist along with other exercises. The yoga, 5HTP, the CBT exercises and consist physical exercise is helping tremendously.   Therapy is always an option she can go back to when she is comfortable and wants it.  Her pediatrician has been wonderful helping us help her. Give the therapy a try and if it doesn’t work, just leave it as an option to try again. 

This year since she has made massive progress just doing the above.  To the point she even slept over at a friends house and is going to a camp that has an overnight.  

Edited June 26, 2019 by itsheresomewhere

[Valley Girl]

21 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said:

This has been our experience but DC is not there yet to want therapy.  We just tried another six months and no progress.  Instead, we have been using a CBT book recommended by the therapist along with other exercises. The yoga, 5HTP, the CBT exercises and consist physical exercise is helping tremendously.   Therapy is always an option she can go back to when she is comfortable and wants it.  Her pediatrician has been wonderful helping us help her. Give the therapy a try and if it doesn’t work, just leave it as an option to try again. 

This year since she has made massive progress just doing the above.  To the point she even slept over at a friends house and is going to a camp that has an overnight.  

Good for her! I'm glad she's doing so well. It's such a relief to see progress, isn't it?

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, BeachGal said:

I just received a wearable vagal toning device called the Sensate which I got for my youngest (22 y.o.) who is prone to bouts of anxiety. He is about to start a high pressured job which is why I got it. During a 10” session, it’s worn on the sternum about four fingers down from collar bone. It monitors heart and respiration rate, temp, etc. and then begins to emit sub-audible sound waves which help tone the vagus nerve. It vibrates when it does this and the wearer can control the intensity of the vibration. At the same time, you wear headphones and listen to a track of music that is designed to help calm your brain. You would use it once or several times per day, as needed, to help tone the vagus nerve. I’ve been trying it and have found that I do feel a lot calmer but I’m not very anxious anyway. My son is traveling so I’ll have to wait and see what he thinks. Here’s an article and, ftr, it is now shipping out.

https://gadgetsandwearables.com/2017/06/14/sensate/

Steven Porges’s Polyvagal Theory and Richard Davidson’s books on using meditation to treat affect disorders are both worth reading. They are both very well-respected researchers.

Interesting. The counselor I used had me humming, and I'm guessing it was the same theory. (He had me reading books by Levine, etc.)

1 hour ago, BeachGal said:

Just being able to name a feeling has been shown to help with emotional regulation.

Kelly Mahler has new materials out on interoception, and yes there's this crossover. The counselor I used was trained in trauma, so that's why he was bringing it in. Now I'm doing exercises with a chiropractor for my back, and he has me doing special breathing, ostensibly to strengthen my diaphram and help me isolate it from the back muscles and not use my back, but with the bonus of being really good for your mindfulness and awareness!

I think the most important thing this shows is it's not ONE THING but connecting with a practitioner who can talk biomedical/genetics AND polyvagal/mindfulness AND bring that CBT/DBT piece, etc. 

[PeterPan]

33 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said:

 Instead, we have been using a CBT book recommended by the therapist along with other exercises. The yoga, 5HTP, the CBT exercises and consist physical exercise is helping tremendously.  

Just wanted to say yay!!! I always love when I hear someone actually getting to those root biomedical causes. Have you looked at her genes for vitamin D, MTHFR, etc.? That might give you the next piece. My dd even says her ADHD meds help with anxiety simply by making her more competent. I think she's also realizing that the meds are methyl donors and that they were probably helping her MTHFR slump.

35 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said:

Give the therapy a try and if it doesn’t work, just leave it as an option to try again. 

So I would flip this a little bit and say some kids, if they try it once, are gonna be like nope, not going back. So maybe offer CHOICES and see what the dc wants to try first. After all, their solution is going to be what they do to themselves, meaning the MOST IMPORTANT THING is to get some buy-in. It really doesn't matter a lot which you start with, but if starting one way or another gets buy-in that could be a lot. The dc could have a level where they perceive their own difficulty and haven't put it into words. They might actually have some good feedback on what would be a good step when they're presented with options. 

[PeterPan]

52 minutes ago, Valley Girl said:

Fast forward a couple more years, and DC decided some help would be...helpful. DC has now been seeing a therapist regularly for several months. He's participating. My point is, keep trying. Don't give up. Keep the options open. It may take time for your child to buy into the idea that therapy can help.

I think their own awareness and maturity gets there and they're ready to want it. My dd hit that point too. 

My ds, haha, doesn't want help. As the behaviorist puts it, he has no clue he has a problem and needs help. That's a really big hurdle, lol. I mean, I can laugh, but what it meant for us was that we have to starting pointing out to him that he's having problems and falling short of what his goals should be. It's kinda awkward to help someone realize they have a problem without shredding them. But asking for help and accepting help sorta starts there, with realizing you even need help.

Op could start with a mood log. You can find them for free online with almost any pdoc site I would think. And just have the dd keep a mood log and see what the data shows and then discuss. 

[OH_Homeschooler]

1 hour ago, EKS said:

I would look for a therapist who does cognitive behavioral therapy with children and teens.  

 

IIRC, CBT is considered one of the most beneficial forms of therapy, and it should be easy to find a therapist who uses it. It is great for anxiety and depression. There are specific techniques your daughter can learn to help her cope.

I very much believe that therapy should have a "goal." I've taken my kids to some counselors who just wanted them to come in every week for an undetermined amount of time. Nope. Not practical, not useful. If I can't see the point, and my kids can't see the point, there isn't a point. The counselor my DD went to for over a year never even came close to figuring out that there was a very severe, underlying issue she was dealing with, and THAT was causing all of her problems. (I sometimes use this to console myself that I never knew about the issue until later. But still, it seems a therapist who is outside of the situation and a trained professional could have picked up on some clues).

In my experience, therapy has a place but I think it can only go so far. For example, once you learn the best techniques to help you with your anxiety, why would you need to keep going? Therapy is a good starting point, and if you find you are not making progress, ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist. Actually, there's no reason to wait to ask if this might help at your first appointment with the therapist. But, many psychiatrists will require you to go through therapy while on medication. On medication, therapy can actually be more helpful because kids are more receptive to it when their biological issues are settled down. 

 

[itsheresomewhere]

1 hour ago, PeterPan said:

Just wanted to say yay!!! I always love when I hear someone actually getting to those root biomedical causes. Have you looked at her genes for vitamin D, MTHFR, etc.? That might give you the next piece. My dd even says her ADHD meds help with anxiety simply by making her more competent. I think she's also realizing that the meds are methyl donors and that they were probably helping her MTHFR slump.

So I would flip this a little bit and say some kids, if they try it once, are gonna be like nope, not going back. So maybe offer CHOICES and see what the dc wants to try first. After all, their solution is going to be what they do to themselves, meaning the MOST IMPORTANT THING is to get some buy-in. It really doesn't matter a lot which you start with, but if starting one way or another gets buy-in that could be a lot. The dc could have a level where they perceive their own difficulty and haven't put it into words. They might actually have some good feedback on what would be a good step when they're presented with options. 

We did the testing before starting anything else.  The difference with the correct vitamins is night and day for me and I see it in her.  

[itsheresomewhere]

1 hour ago, Valley Girl said:

Good for her! I'm glad she's doing so well. It's such a relief to see progress, isn't it?

It is. Seeing her being able to participate in things and even talk to new people is a massive step in the right direction. 

[Katy]

I also recommend cognitive behavioral therapy.  The goal isn't talking about what embarrasses you.  The goal is to learn to examine your thoughts, identify what is true and what is a lie, to take responsibility for the things you can control and let go of what you cannot control.  There is a plan, homework, and an end date when you are done.

It is NOT sitting around complaining about everything that's gone wrong in your life and finding new people to be angry at.

To my knowledge it is the most effective therapy for something like depression or anxiety.

[Pen]

I also find CBT useful.

and supplements, meditation etc too

 

[Princess5]

11 hours ago, itsheresomewhere said:

This has been our experience but DC is not there yet to want therapy.  We just tried another six months and no progress.  Instead, we have been using a CBT book recommended by the therapist along with other exercises. The yoga, 5HTP, the CBT exercises and consist physical exercise is helping tremendously.   Therapy is always an option she can go back to when she is comfortable and wants it.  Her pediatrician has been wonderful helping us help her. Give the therapy a try and if it doesn’t work, just leave it as an option to try again. 

This year since she has made massive progress just doing the above.  To the point she even slept over at a friends house and is going to a camp that has an overnight.  

Can you please link the CBT workbook recommended to you.  Thank you

Edited June 27, 2019 by Princess5

[Pen]

23 hours ago, lgliser said:

My 12 year old's pediatrician suggested therapy for anxiety and really severe mood swings. She gets so upset that she scratches herself sometimes and just has really inappropriate outbursts. 

My question is though, I guess I don't really understand what therapy is supposed to do. My daughter does not WANT to go. She hates the idea of talking to someone about things that ultimately embarrass her. So it's not like this is going to be a safe place where she can just vent or whatever. I guess maybe it could be if the therapist really connected with her....

EMDR can be done without revealing the embarrassing things.  

Even some cBt can be done without a lot of revealing of embarrassing things   And emphasizes change not venting usually 

 

23 hours ago, lgliser said:

When you go to therapy for a specific reason, is there a goal of "fixing" it? And then not needing therapy any more? 

 

Yes.  And how good the therapist is, as well as type of therapy can make a huge difference.

23 hours ago, lgliser said:

I'm also confused because if anxiety/depression are things that might be caused by a chemical imbalance, and fixed by medication, why is talking to someone helpful?

 

In a lot of studies I’ve seen therapy that changes behavior and or thinking can be better than medication alone,   even if there an imbalance.  

It’s probably a loop feedback system where chemicals drive feelings, but also where feelings and thoughts produce neurochemicals...

23 hours ago, lgliser said:

I guess my hope would be that the therapist will give her strategies on how to deal with stress. How to control her reactions a little better. Is that a reasonable thing to expect?

 

Yes.

[lgliser]

As always, you all are a wealth of information and support!

So this lady takes our insurance and is one recommended by our ped. We have an appt booked. Her description online is:

I've treated clients of all different ages and backgrounds ranging from 6 to older adults. My areas of expertise include Anxiety, Depression, Teen Issues, ADHD, Grief and Loss, Marriage or relationship issues and Family concerns. More commonly my focus in treatment involves that of Cognitive Behavioral, Psycho-Educational, and Psychoanalytic Therapy.

I practice with a strong emphasis on client centered treatment. Each person's focus of treatment is based on his, her individual needs no matter how common the problem. Client response tends to be that of which satisfaction is gained through having positive feedback in a non-threatening environment.

Children and teens tend to feel welcomed and respected. Men tend to be open and disclose personal feelings. By word of mouth, agency referral and EAP, clients have chosen to see me for issues pertaining to most any area of life, including Christian Faith and /or Gay and Lesbian issues.

 

So looks like she does do CBT.

 

I'm very interested in genetic testing. It overwhelms me some, but seems like it could really show some answers.

 

I am glad for the encouragement to stick with getting her help, whether it's therapy, more testing, or meds. Sometimes it's just so overwhelming. There are so many options of help and I feel like she's a little guinea pig.

 

 

[PeterPan]

On June 26, 2019 at 12:04 AM, lgliser said:

When you go to therapy for a specific reason, is there a goal of "fixing" it?

The goal is to teach them tools so they can self-advocate and handle situations for themselves. You can't make someone use tools and the person needs to come to a place where they're ready to use them. 

42 minutes ago, lgliser said:

There are so many options of help and I feel like she's a little guinea pig.

Hmm, I think the kid can feel that way as they're on the receiving end of our learning curve. Maybe just talk with her about it and don't try to bluff and act like you know, lol. Self-advocacy and choice are HUGE CONCEPTS so you can include her in that choice. Then it's more of a journey than randomly sticking pins in a pig. 

So with the lady you scheduled, did you ask your dd? Or are you just hauling her in and telling her to suck it up and cooperate? Our ped gave us a REALLY BAD recommend, like so astonishingly bad. And he's a really popular ped in the most popular place in town. I'm just saying I would be careful. I would go back to choice, self-advocacy, getting her onboard. If she's not, pause the appt and talk it through. Or show her 3-4 options and let her choose where she wants to start. Or show her the paths you're considering (counseling, biomedical, etc.) and see where she wants to start. 

47 minutes ago, lgliser said:

I've treated clients

Yuck. See I would have walked right on by that woman. Is it a woman? I don't know, just the tone is nasty. My kid doesn't need to be treated; my kid needs to be worked with. Their word choice reveals their mindset. Maybe she's awesome. I'm just thinking you only get so many chances with your kid before they just burn out, draw the line, and won't go. Hopefully she's fine. The right person will be worth driving for.

[Pen]

8 hours ago, lgliser said:

As always, you all are a wealth of information and support!

So this lady takes our insurance and is one recommended by our ped. We have an appt booked. Her description online is:

I've treated clients of all different ages and backgrounds ranging from 6 to older adults. My areas of expertise include Anxiety, Depression, Teen Issues, ADHD, Grief and Loss, Marriage or relationship issues and Family concerns. More commonly my focus in treatment involves that of Cognitive Behavioral, Psycho-Educational, and Psychoanalytic Therapy.

I practice with a strong emphasis on client centered treatment. Each person's focus of treatment is based on his, her individual needs no matter how common the problem. Client response tends to be that of which satisfaction is gained through having positive feedback in a non-threatening environment.

Children and teens tend to feel welcomed and respected. Men tend to be open and disclose personal feelings. By word of mouth, agency referral and EAP, clients have chosen to see me for issues pertaining to most any area of life, including Christian Faith and /or Gay and Lesbian issues.

 

So looks like she does do CBT.

 

I'm very interested in genetic testing. It overwhelms me some, but seems like it could really show some answers.

 

I am glad for the encouragement to stick with getting her help, whether it's therapy, more testing, or meds. Sometimes it's just so overwhelming. There are so many options of help and I feel like she's a little guinea pig.

 

 

 

How old roughly is she? And is she the only therapist in a geographical area such that she takes whatever situation people have?

 I ask because it sounds like a very broad range of focus.  It may be hard to get really good at all of that listed.

OTOH it could be it’s someone with a broader range of interests than some therapists.

My Ds saw 3 therapists.  One as a little boy who was wonderful, but alas left to devote herself to being a full time mom.  Her supervisor, also quite good, who took over for her when she left on maternity leave.  And then no one for a number of years followed by someone in that same group when Ds was a teen—but that last one was fairly awful.  Not awful as in made things worse, but like really didn’t help at all, wasted time and energy. 

I wonder if you could see this person a first time just you to get a feel for her  or alternatively get your dd to cooperate in going with purpose of evaluating the therapist and then discuss with dd after whether it seems like a second appointment should be made or not    Possibly posting  about it on here too before deciding 

And I’d suggest finding at least one other option to compare with if you don’t feel quite certain this person will be able to help.  Though I should say that at first appointment I was very doubtful about the therapist who I ended up feeling was wonderful .   I think she turned out to be more genuine help, less salesman type person. 

 

[PeterPan]

45 minutes ago, Pen said:

I ask because it sounds like a very broad range of focus.  It may be hard to get really good at all of that listed.

Yes, this. There's no way she's ready to deal with really specialized problems. She's your small town, people have problems kinda counselor. I had to drive 40 minutes to a much bigger city to find someone on the level of what we needed. You get in a really big city and you'll find people who specialize. It will be worth the drive.