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Home'scool

UPDATE IN FIRST POST - I finally had my day in court!

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I love this update so much. Puffy heart love.  I am so happy he finally showed himself to the judge. 

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I was wondering how you were doing. I am so happy for you. I think I'd be punch drunk over that moment when the judge stood up! I hope the next three weeks move quickly for you and without obstacles. 

Also, I really struggle to not have uncharitable thoughts towards you STBX, and I'm just reading about him. I think restraint in your dealings is truly admirable and I hope your daughters are proud of their mother. They should be. 

Edited by Æthelthryth the Texan
posted too soon
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I wonder what he was trying to prove with the VEnmo stuff? (And why he focused on it? Was it the only stuff he could get records for?)

 

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I'm so glad the day in court went well and I really hope that the judge does see straight through his shenanigans and awards you the settlement you deserve.

Many hugs.

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41 minutes ago, Chris in VA said:

Jerks reveal themselves over time. Bless you for being so patient. 

 

Yes, time and truth walk hand in hand. Sadly it often takes a lot more time than we are comfortable with.

I am glad the day went well for you and that this whole misadventure appears to be winding down. I admit I am holding my breath for you til the robed lady sings.

Any chance there’s a video of the standing judge’s admonition that could one day find its way to YouTube? (Nah, that would be wrong, but it’s good daydream fodder!) 

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28 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

I wonder what he was trying to prove with the VEnmo stuff? (And why he focused on it? Was it the only stuff he could get records for?)

 

 

Yes, sort of weird. But maybe the attorney was actually backhanding her own pita client? 

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Yayayayay! This is an excellent report! I am so happy that the judge could see his true character and how he really is. Praying things continue to go well in the next several weeks!

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Whoo Hooo!  I am beyond thrilled for you.  My sister's ex is like this.  Judge finally told him he was a fool.  Took years though.

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THIS MADE MY DAY TO HEAR!

 

Finally, finally it seems he is being understood for his true, asshole self.  Hugs and high friggin five! I’d be walking on cloud nine after the judge actually stood up and told him to get off the stand.  Amen!

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So happy for you! I'm praying everything moves in your favor.

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We SO need the old party emjoi back!!!!!

This is great to hear and I can't wait until it's all over and you can leave all this behind you. (And also be avenged. I'm not above relishing the thought of him getting what he's got coming.)

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Sounds like a fabulous Judge Judy type moment. I'm sure you heard the heavenly choir singing at that moment.

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What a great update!

2 hours ago, Home'scool said:

 I really think the judge now understands all the players in this game. Before when only he testified I am sure she thought I would be just as greedy and arrogant as him. How else does a simple case bog down for 4 years? Now I think she gets it is him, he is the narcissist, the bully, the unreasonable one

 

Years ago I heard a presentation by a family court judge who said that 10% of her caseload took 90% of her time.  

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2 hours ago, Home'scool said:

 His attorney went over VENMO payments I had made to my daughters while they were in college. Literally one transaction at a time. 

“So, on May 1st you Venmo’d $30 dollars and wrote ‘because I love you’ ..... what was that for?” Ummmm I sent her $30 because she is my daughter and I love her?

this went on for about 10 minutes until the judge told her it was just badgering. 

 

Sounds like you have two attorneys working for you!!!  

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3 hours ago, Home'scool said:

and that is when the judge STOOD UP! Actually stood up and very angrily said “What are you saying?? That she is supposed to live with her sister rent free while you lived in the big house and now in a $4000 a month condo in the city?? You can get down now from the stand!”

HUGE grin as I read this.  So happy for you.

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This update makes me so happy! I'm glad your side was finally heard! ❤️

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1 hour ago, Garga said:

 

Sounds like you have two attorneys working for you!!!  

You've got to wonder...I bet his attorney is sick of dealing with him.

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I kind of doubt his attorney is working against him, I'm sure that would be a huge violation of professional ethics, no matter how despicable he is.

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YAY!!!!!

It’s so good to “hear” you sounding so happy! You have been through so much, and you really deserved such a great day in court!

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11 minutes ago, moonflower said:

I kind of doubt his attorney is working against him, I'm sure that would be a huge violation of professional ethics, no matter how despicable he is.

 

Yeah, but sometimes Attorneys just tread water.  Like it would look bad to do no cross-exam, but there isn’t really any way to help the client during cross, so just try to fill some time with questions that aren’t really meaningful.  I’ve seen opposing counsel do it before.  Not going against a bad client,  but just going through the motions without their heart in it.  Judges know.   

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My guess would be STBX told attorney to do petty destructive stuff that wastes the court's time because he believes it  makes him look good.  And his attorney is in a very hard place. 

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So happy for you, Home'scool!!! 

Do you think the Venmo thing was part of a plan to ask for reduced support payments — like he thought he could argue that he shouldn't have to pay you money that you were just going to turn around and "give away"?  Whatever the motivation, it sounds like it totally backfired and just made him look like a petty, vindictive jerk. 👍

Edited by Corraleno
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1 hour ago, Corraleno said:

So happy for you, Home'scool!!! 

Do you think the Venmo thing was part of a plan to ask for reduced support payments — like he thought he could argue that he shouldn't have to pay you money that you were just going to turn around and "give away"?  Whatever the motivation, it sounds like it totally backfired and just him look like a petty, vindictive jerk. 👍

 

Yeah, in the whole scheme of things - relative to $4K/mo rent - a couple of $30 Venmos to the children he is the father of is a pretty stupid thing to haggle over. 

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Do you think the Venmo thing was part of a plan to ask for reduced support payments — like he thought he could argue that he shouldn't have to pay you money that you were just going to turn around and "give away"?  Whatever the motivation, it sounds like it totally backfired and just made him look like a petty, vindictive jerk.

Yes, I think he was trying to show that the money I sent to our daughters was not necessary? IDK.

When his attorney asked why I had submitted the VENMO payments as evidence and if I thought I should be reimbursed for it I said no, that I was just showing that while he was paying utilities on the house etc., I was also spending money on family things.

I do believe his attorney had no idea what to cross examine me on. My STBX was scribbling notes the whole time I was testifying so I thought the cross would be difficult but she started going after details like how much money I made in 1989 vs. how much money he made. Seriously. 28 years ago and you want to make a point that he made $2000 more than me in 1989. That is why I think the judge is so done with him.

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I also got to slip in that after he cut me off from any support I received a box of shirts he ordered (it was sent to me by mistake) and there were 10 shirts at $200 each. Just regular button down work shirts that he was paying $200 each for! Then my attorney asked me where I shop for clothes and I said Old Navy. Stuff like that that completely goes against his testimony that he had no money to send me.

His affairs also came up. I am surprised the judge let me testify about those but she did give me leeway. I kept it factual but was able to show what a bum he is.

I hope to never have to testify again. It is not fun at all. But I AM so glad that I finally had my day, I finally got to say my side, and I finally may be wrapping this whole thing up.

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I picture every lawyer your STBX has gone through sitting together at a bar and seriously questioning their life choices....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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so happy it went so well! Wow, the shirt story is very revealing, glad you got to share it.  I am so glad to see a good update finally. 🙂

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Any update yet home'scool? I keep hoping to hear of a favorable ruling for you.

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Great news.  Fingers crossed that very, very, very soon, you will be turning the page on this chapter of your life!!!  

 

ETA:  I see now that this is an update request from @maize ... and I second it!  

Edited by Monica_in_Switzerland

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I'm still waiting! The lawyers submitted their final paperwork about 2 weeks ago so now we are just in a holding pattern.

I did get a copy of his final paperwork. He is offering such a small amount in alimony that I would literally be struggling until I retired. Such a bad bad man.

But I promise to update once I do get the word from the judge!

 

Edited by Home'scool
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Don't these lawyers know that over 100 WTM members are waiting?? 😂 I keep popping back in for updates too!

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Ugh no news yet! By the end of the day my phone is always dead because I check my emails so much!

According to my lawyer this judge is quick with her decisions ..... I guess it all depends on how many people are ahead of me.

And I don't know if I already said this, so forgive me if I am repeating myself, but my lawyer contacted me about a week after the trial. She said that the bailiff told her "The judge is going to crush that guy" because he was making such an ass out of himself. That gives me hope!

Believe me, y'all will the the second to know once I get the ruling! 😊 Hopefully this week but I really don't know. 

Edited by Home'scool
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I DEARLY HOPE he is crushed.  Just, you know, for a little justice after his continued refusal to act like a human being.

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