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S/o funeral potatoes....what would you want served at your funeral?


Ottakee
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I had to laugh at the funeral potato thread as yes, we know what they are, and eat them often.

One of my friends is a pastor's wife (so lots of funeral opportunities) and she has decreed that there will be NO funeral potatoes and NO ham on buns at her funeral.  NONE.   She said to order pizza or Chinese or whatever but NO funeral potatoes or ham on buns.

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I don't want a funeral.

I think it would be nice if those who are close to me went out to a nice restaurant at some point after my passing. That way each of them could relax, have whatever they wanted to eat, and talk about what an all around fabulous person I was. :wink:

But that's up to them.

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34 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

I don't want a funeral.

I think it would be nice if those who are close to me went out to a nice restaurant at some point after my passing. That way each of them could relax, have whatever they wanted to eat, and talk about what an all around fabulous person I was. :wink:

But that's up to them.

My sister did that for an aunt and said it was lovely.  Mine will need to be simple and cheap as I will leave behind 3 special needs kids (now young adults) and I want the money to go to them, not a funeral.

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Hmmm.  Food isn't a major factor in a wake.  😁

I hope they all have at least one good story to share about me in their lives and to tell grandchildren about.

I hope they shut the bar down with laughter and fill the church with love.

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I do not want a funeral or anything. Maybe if I have tons of grandkids they can have one. But right now, no. Just wait until my husband and I both pass, take our ashes and mix them together with the ashes of the child we lost and then sprinkle them in the place we designated. 

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my mother was very specific.  She wanted pulled BBQ on buns (small, slider type), cold salads (potatoe, coleslaw, macaroni, etc), and lots of sweets

My father ddn't specify.  So, the "church ladies" prepared all his favorites from potlucks gone by

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7 minutes ago, HollyDay said:

my mother was very specific.  She wanted pulled BBQ on buns (small, slider type), cold salads (potatoe, coleslaw, macaroni, etc), and lots of sweets

My father ddn't specify.  So, the "church ladies" prepared all his favorites from potlucks gone by

That is so sweet!  

Now that you mention it, I can think of an older gent for whom I would make mushroom soup and bring chips and onion dip!  🙂

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4 minutes ago, marbel said:

That is so sweet!  

Now that you mention it, I can think of an older gent for whom I would make mushroom soup and bring chips and onion dip!  🙂

It was really sweet.  There were lots of pound cakes, sharp cheddar cheese, and ginger snaps 🙂  as well as other favorites

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Probably chicken haystacks (rice topped with chopped chicken/broth and various toppings) or taco salad bar.

a go-to funeral meal I try to pull together last minute when church members pass away is spiral ham, freshly fried chicken ordered from a local grocery store’s deli, and meatballs warmed in the crockpot with BBQ sauce.  I ask other church members to bring southern-style green beans, a potato dish or mac & cheese, veggie tray, fruit platter, rolls, desserts, and maybe a large green salad if the family is the type to like hearty salads.  I need to come up with a new go-to meal because almost every family of our elderly members has had that funeral  meal  atleast once. I’m a bit worried about what to feed the same families when the now surviving spouse  passes away.  

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I'm going to take a page out of the book of one dear old great-grandma I knew.  she was very sweet. she didn't want a funeral - she wanted her family to have a party with her favorite foods.  and everyone to wear pink, because it was her favorite color.

I'm being told mil's funeral meal will be empanada's etc., because they used to do that (should be cracked wheat patties - she made those all. the. time.)....  they did pies after her memorial here.  (I had a few bites....)

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Is it wrong that you have me trying to think up something funny for my funeral menu?

Roast in Peas with Grave-y?  Shovel it in!

My experience with food at funerals is that it is usually not memorable - dry cookies or whatever.  I think I'd at least like a yummy cake or brownies.

Edited by SKL
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I don't want a funeral, but whatever anyone wants to do is fine with me. If I were planning the menu, it would be 'happy hour' type foods. Coconut shrimp, calamari, moz sticks, sliders etc.  Served with mango margaritas, ice cold pints, and mai tais :0). Happy music !!!!  If were going to plan a funeral, lets make it fun! 

I want to be cremated and sprinkled in any body of water. I figure if I am in water, I will eventually end up in all of my favorite places.

I am a hugely empathetic person. Funerals are pure misery for me and leave me feeling depressed for hours afterward. I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone! 

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23 hours ago, Ottakee said:

I had to laugh at the funeral potato thread as yes, we know what they are, and eat them often.

One of my friends is a pastor's wife (so lots of funeral opportunities) and she has decreed that there will be NO funeral potatoes and NO ham on buns at her funeral.  NONE.   She said to order pizza or Chinese or whatever but NO funeral potatoes or ham on buns.



CAKE! 😉 

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In theory, I don't care what anyone does for my funeral, since I won't be there. I hope whoever survives me and feels the need to do something in that vein will do whatever will give them comfort (and not spend a lot of money doing it). 

In reality, I would hope that any food that might be served at an event intended to honor or recognize me in any way would align with my values -- so, vegan stuff, please. 

And, if there is an actual ceremony, or even some kind of reception or party (which would be my preference), I have a couple of musical requests: I would like someone to sing "All Creatures of the Earth and Sky" (the UU hymnal version) and maybe "Morning has Broken," and I really, really want this song played.

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In theory I don't care either, but if I'm ever in charge of planning one I'll also skip the ham & cheese on rolls, the weird cold salads, and deviled eggs.  So many people brought deviled eggs after my dad died I haven't liked them since.  They're burned in my memory as awful funeral food.

I do remember one person brought over baskets of fried fish and hush puppies.  They were still warm and delicious and had the best homemade tartar sauce.  I really liked that, but I think that's a Florida Gulf Coast thing and wouldn't go over as well in the midwest where it seems half the people I meet hate seafood.

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21 hours ago, TX Native said:

Probably chicken haystacks (rice topped with chopped chicken/broth and various toppings) or taco salad bar.

a go-to funeral meal I try to pull together last minute when church members pass away is spiral ham, freshly fried chicken ordered from a local grocery store’s deli, and meatballs warmed in the crockpot with BBQ sauce.  I ask other church members to bring southern-style green beans, a potato dish or mac & cheese, veggie tray, fruit platter, rolls, desserts, and maybe a large green salad if the family is the type to like hearty salads.  I need to come up with a new go-to meal because almost every family of our elderly members has had that funeral  meal  atleast once. I’m a bit worried about what to feed the same families when the now surviving spouse  passes away.  

Thanks for this! I've been informed several times by the elderly ladies at church that I'm being groomed to take over the funeral meals. I'll get the "book" from the lady in charge (a loose-leaf binder full of notes), but I'm going to need all the help I can get. I love to feed people, but I do NOT like to cook and I'm not good at it. Here's hoping the job is mostly organization and delegation! 

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At my uncle's funeral, we ate a lot of his favorite foods - banana pudding, bbq, jambalaya... It was actually a very touching part of the memories and so forth.

I don't really care. I'll be dead. Since I presume my kids will be there, they should have the foods that I made that they love most... so I guess sesame noodles with steak (if there are any cows left then) and peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.

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I loved reading all of the responses.

It also seems to be a regional thing on who is invited to the funeral luncheon.  In West Michigan, it is EVERYONE that attends the funeral...so you could easily be planning a luncheon for 100-300 people.  When I was at a funeral in South Carolina it was just immediate family that was provided a funeral luncheon by the church...with hot fried chicken, lots of tasty sides, dessert, etc.  I can see though how ham on buns and funeral potatoes is a lot easier to do when you have to make it for 100 or more people.

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Gosh, I don't know. I kind of dislike church potlucks already, because there's so much hustle and bustle and extroversion. And at the funeral I'm usually emotional and sick to my stomach. My favorite (if you can call it that) post-funeral eating occasion was when only the closest family and friends got together at someone's house and had some wine and light snacks. They talked about the deceased, and regular stuff, and old times, and it just felt like a more warm and cozy way of doing things. That was actually the after-party of the big church potluck. Hundreds of people packed into a tight space, irritable ladies serving indifferent food, no one knew each other, the pastors upstaging one another (multiple pastors because no one could decide if they should use the deceased person's church or her husband's church), and so freaking loud. That sort of thing just makes me wilt. I'd much prefer my people to have small groups with some light food and maybe light drinking, but I don't know how to order that.

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21 minutes ago, AmandaVT said:

I read a funny tweet about this and I have to say, it would make for an interesting funeral! 

 

1878733348_ScreenShot2019-06-24at9_55_33PM.thumb.png.0a7695145c11553979a9066a572d6798.png

My brother wants some well placed strings to open the casket and sit him up as Pop Goes the Weasle plays.

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4 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

My brother wants some well placed strings to open the casket and sit him up as Pop Goes the Weasle plays.

My coworker used to joke that he wanted the casket lowered from the ceiling while dry ice poured into the room and Bon Jovi “Livin’ on a Prayer” played in the background.  

Most of the funeral meals I’ve been to have been at restaurants, but it would be nice to have my favorite dessert, which is that thing with the baked crackers and vanilla, butter, and sugar with chocolate on top.  

 

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On 6/24/2019 at 6:33 PM, Ottakee said:

I loved reading all of the responses.

It also seems to be a regional thing on who is invited to the funeral luncheon.  In West Michigan, it is EVERYONE that attends the funeral...so you could easily be planning a luncheon for 100-300 people.  When I was at a funeral in South Carolina it was just immediate family that was provided a funeral luncheon by the church...with hot fried chicken, lots of tasty sides, dessert, etc.  I can see though how ham on buns and funeral potatoes is a lot easier to do when you have to make it for 100 or more people.

Where I live now, only close family members attend a meal. Our church provides it, it’s usually ham or something similar but of course the family can request  something different. 

Where I grew up on South Dakota everyone attends the meal afterward. I don’t remember what was served at my grandfather’s funeral, but I do remember feeling very loved by the church that came together and fed everyone. There was also a ton of food delivered to my grandma’s house. I have a good sized family, but we didn’t even come close to making a dent in the food. She probably froze all the leftovers and didn’t cook for months. 

Edited by Rachel
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When my Dad died, we served his favorite foods like corned beef on rye sandwiches and Hershey bars with almonds.

The Muslim funerals I've been to don't usually involve food.  There is a time where women go console the women of the family....and men go console the men.... but at those, all I've seen are coffee/tea.  My kids would probably serve chai and Diet Dr. Pepper (my two favorites) as the drinks.  Food-wise, not sure.  Maybe chicken shwarma and garlic sauce and kunafa with cheese for dessert. 

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Whatever is easiest for my kids, but I'd like them to send me off with some Vikingsblod.  It's a honeyed mead.  Friends of mine celebrate St. Lucy's Day every Advent season with Scandinavian flare, and I bring the Vikingsblod.  I'll be cremated with my Scandinavian Dragon's head (her name is Drekki, old Norse for Dragon) that my brother custom made for my kayak. She and the kayak were christened in Vikingsblod. Vikings traditionally removed the heads on their ships when going home because they were headed home to friendly spirits and I will be too. My brother and I have always had adventures together-death will be the greatest adventure of all, and this is as close as he can come to going on it with me. When we were doing something dangerous adventurous my mother would roll her eyes and joke that we were her Viking children (a very subtle insult aimed at our dad, her ex-husband, who has a lot of Norwegian ancestry.)

We had cokes, Hershey's chocolates, and orange slice candies among the usual funeral foods at my beloved maternal Grandmother's funeral meal.  She would say, "Come over anytime, honey.  I have chocolate bars and cokes in the refrigerator. "  She helped raise us when my mother was single. She taught me to sew.  Her mother taught her.  Her mother was a professional seamstress who would sometimes splurge and bring home orange slice candies for her 6 kids she supported as a single mother.  When I start a new sewing project I always buy a bag of them and remember my grandmother.

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1 hour ago, Carol in Cal. said:

The Gospel.  Clear and pure.

Yes. I'd be happy if they didn't talk about me at all. Just Jesus.

I do also like people to be physically fed. I'm thinking vegetarian comfort food. Mac and cheese. Pie. Mashed potatoes. Rolls. And plenty of alcohol. 🙂 

At my grandpa's funeral, we had a toast with beer. This is kind of sad, but my family likes the story: When Grandpa was in hospice and near the end, he wanted to hold a beer. Of course they got him one. He fell asleep (I think) and accidentally spilled it. When someone came in and helped clean it up, he quipped, "What a waste!" 🙂 So we told the story at the funeral and shared some beer. And quote him all the time. 🙂

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56 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

We had cokes, Hershey's chocolates, and orange slice candies among the usual funeral foods at my beloved maternal Grandmother's funeral meal.  She would say, "Come over anytime, honey.  I have chocolate bars and cokes in the refrigerator. " 

YES. My grandma would always say, "Want a Peps (Pepsi)?" And she always had cookies in a tin. My great-grandparents always had gumdrops and peanuts in a candy dish. Such good memories. ❤️

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