Things to do before dc turn 18?

[Pen]

What should be done prior to dc 18th birthday?

both things to get done beforehand, and things that may be required 

I’m thinking of things like medical appointments if that changes (for us probably it does more than for some people because insurance  coverage is dc own as a child and probably won’t go past 18 even if full time student)

new medical insurance for adult probably in our case

selective services registration 

hippa forms?

banking?

rules and procedures changes in household to consider? 

 

 

[SKL]

Any possibly insured medical/dental procedures that your kid may not be able to afford once off his current insurance.  Some of these things (like orthodontics if needed) should be done even if insurance doesn't cover it, if you can afford it.

Look over your will and see if you need to reconsider anything that applies post-18th birthday.

Not sure if any tax laws currently provide a change at or around age 18, but that is something I'd check.

Register to vote if not already done.

If child is not born in the US, confirm citizenship documents are complete, and if not, get that done ASAP (preferably years before age 18 - I think the procedure changes around age 14 or 16).

Any accomplishments that are age restricted, such as scouting achievements.

Obviously teaching / practicing all life skills needed to live independently.

[Melissa B]

We do a final set of the optional vaccinations (my kids decide for themselves which, if any, they want) because they are only free until you turn 18.

[EKS]

Not before 18, but make sure they register to vote.

[Selkie]

Males are supposed to register for the selective service within 30 days of turning 18. The registration can be done online.

[almondbutterandjelly]

Not necessarily before 18, but around then:  Find a new doctor (pediatrician may let them stay through high school graduation if you're lucky), Find new dentist if you have been using a pediatric dentist.  Teach how to fill out forms for all those medical and dental places (or sit by dc and make dc do it with you right there).

[TechWife]

Talk about medical and financial power of attorney. If he is incapacitated, who does he want to make decisions about his medical care and finances? Talk about consequences of not having it in place (court costs, delays in treatment, possibility a non family member could be appointed). Have forms ready for him to sign once he turns eighteen. 

As part of the above, you might want to talk briefly about what his thoughts are on artificial life support and organ donation. 

Talk with the pediatrician about transitioning to adult primary care and ask for referrals/recommendations. Make sure your son has contact info for any past and present MDs and dentists in case he needs to access history while away from you. Don’t forget specialists, even if it’s been a while since he has seen them. 

Give pertinent information about family medical history, especially as it relates to cancer, autoimmune disorders, heart issues, psychiatric  and vision issues. Make sure he knows cause of death for any grandparents, parents and siblings, if applicable. 

 

[Pawz4me]

18 minutes ago, perkybunch said:

Not necessarily before 18, but around then:  Find a new doctor (pediatrician may let them stay through high school graduation if you're lucky), Find new dentist if you have been using a pediatric dentist.  Teach how to fill out forms for all those medical and dental places (or sit by dc and make dc do it with you right there).

Most pediatricians here will continue to see their patients through college age.

[Liz CA]

Apply for a passport after turning 18 - if I remember correctly, minor's passport does not extend beyond 18.

Make sure dc knows where is ss card and birth certificate are - or give it to him if you trust him to keep care of it. Discuss where to get copies if misplaced.

Discuss your will / POA because as a legal adult and potential heir he would be making those decisions.

Will he be living with you or move out / go to college / work? I think some things may depend on individual circumstances.

 

[Pen]

1 hour ago, HeighHo said:

 

That's a good point when it comes to wisdom teeth extraction.  Some families leave that for the military enlistment.

 

If dc strongly doesn’t want wisdom teeth removed, would you push them to do it?  If it’s going to be done,  this summer would be ideal time from my POV.

19 minutes ago, Liz CA said:

Apply for a passport after turning 18 - if I remember correctly, minor's passport does not extend beyond 18.

 

My understanding is Adult passports go for age 16 and up.  His old one expired and we are in process of getting new one which is supposed to be a 10 year adult type now.  — not suppose to expire at 18. 

Quote

Make sure dc knows where is ss card and birth certificate are - or give it to him if you trust him to keep care of it. Discuss where to get copies if misplaced.

Discuss your will / POA because as a legal adult and potential heir he would be making those decisions.

Will he be living with you or move out / go to college / work? I think some things may depend on individual circumstances.

 

 

He’ll still be in high school till age 19.  I presume he’ll live at home until at least end of high school.  And then unless he goes to a college far enough to live away, probably continue at home for start of college or work life.  Though possibly, and especially if he isn’t driving, will need to be in an apartment in Portland OR or Eugene Or,  — the decent size cities in our state with public transportation and biking possible.

I’m pushing him to get a learners permit this summer. He seems to have a psychological block about doing that.  Under 18 with a satisfactory Behind the Wheel certificate, he would be exempted from the Drive Test at DMV which I think would help him not to have to do that.  So in our state that’s also something better to be done before age 18.

Edited June 13, 2019 by Pen

[Storygirl]

12 minutes ago, Liz CA said:

Apply for a passport after turning 18 - if I remember correctly, minor's passport does not extend beyond 18.

 

 People are issued an adult passport at age 16 and up. DD17 received an adult passport good for 10 years, when we renewed it last year.

But, yes, the rules for traveling on a passport issued when a minor but the person is now over 18 -- that's less clear to me. They don't expire for 5 years, but it could cause issues when traveling. For example, DS15's passport expires when he is 19, I think. He may need to get an adult passport at age 18, even if his current one has not expired. I have to figure that out.

.https://www.g3passports.com/teenagers-passports-for-age-16-17/

[Pen]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

Any possibly insured medical/dental procedures that your kid may not be able to afford once off his current insurance.  Some of these things (like orthodontics if needed) should be done even if insurance doesn't cover it, if you can afford it.

 

Similar as with wisdom tooth removal, I think orthodontics would be helpful, but he has refused that.

He has one significantly crooked tooth and some overbite—dentist suggested mouth expanders.  DS said no.  

He’s actually kind of cute the way it is and maybe it has a more sincere friendly look than the typical American with perfect teeth look.  His teeth are otherwise perfect in terms of no cavities/ fillings, very white.   A couple of not very significant chips from boy stuff. 

 

[TechWife]

16 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

 People are issued an adult passport at age 16 and up. DD17 received an adult passport good for 10 years, when we renewed it last year.

But, yes, the rules for traveling on a passport issued when a minor but the person is now over 18 -- that's less clear to me. They don't expire for 5 years, but it could cause issues when traveling. For example, DS15's passport expires when he is 19, I think. He may need to get an adult passport at age 18, even if his current one has not expired. I have to figure that out.

.https://www.g3passports.com/teenagers-passports-for-age-16-17/

 

Passports have an expiration date on them. They don’t expire just because someone turns 18. If it hasn’t expired and isn’t due to expire within the accepted time frame of his destination, then there is no need to get a new one. There isn’t a “child” or “adult” passport in the US, the passport itself is exactly the same. The age of the person is taken into account when setting the expiration date. 

[Pen]

 

Quote

Also if when he gets the drivers license at 18 and at 21,  think thru REAL ID and Enhanced.  If he's in college near a border, Enhanced is handy. 

 

Enhanced?  What is that?

our state doesn’t have REAL ID yet.  I think it rolls out over a year from now. 

 

Nm, just looked it up—looks handy but our state doesn’t have it.

He’ll get a passport card in addition to book. That should serve if needed.  

I recall flying from Montreal airport when in upstate NY with no special ID.  I guess those days are long gone.  

Edited June 13, 2019 by Pen

[Storygirl]

2 hours ago, TechWife said:

 

Passports have an expiration date on them. They don’t expire just because someone turns 18. If it hasn’t expired and isn’t due to expire within the accepted time frame of his destination, then there is no need to get a new one. There isn’t a “child” or “adult” passport in the US, the passport itself is exactly the same. The age of the person is taken into account when setting the expiration date. 

Thanks! This is what I always believed, but another parent said differently at a missions trip meeting, indicating that their son had had a problem with his passport being accepted after he turned 18. I think he may have not quite understood what the issue in his situation was. But it caused me to wonder, and I wasn't able to figure it out by researching online.

Although the passports are not called child and adult passports, there are some differences in rules,  based on age.

[prairiewindmomma]

Pen---Ds just got his instructional permit.  The state does require car insurance at that point (you get it after you pass the knowledge test, before he starts driving with the instructional permit, and you have to bring proof of insurance to the driving test)----and that is running us well over $200/month.  I would only push the driver's permit if you have sufficient funds that leave breathing room in your household budget.  My ds can easily take public transportation to the local cc, and will be doing so next semester.  We are only getting him permitted because he is likely to live at home and drive to a local university (after his transfer AA degree) that does not have easy public transportation access and we want him to get his 100 hours of driving in before then. That takes time. 

I'd also sit down and have a discussion about his ability to enter into legal contracts once he hits 18---the impact of credit history, how interest rates work, what debts are not dischargeable in bankruptcy, etc. 

[Pen]

2 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Pen---Ds just got his instructional permit.  The state does require car insurance at that point (you get it after you pass the knowledge test, before he starts driving with the instructional permit, and you have to bring proof of insurance to the driving test)----and that is running us well over $200/month.

Whoa!   $200/month for LP driver?!?!

I can’t recall where you are or if we are in same state.  I haven’t checked recently, but when I called last I learned that our state (Oregon)

does require a LP holder to be insured, but my insurance said they add an LP person on to parental insurance at no additional charge.  That may have changed or be different by state or company.

once having a DL— then it’s a whole other story and they say, I can expect a huge increase in insurance costs.  How much depending on what vehicle he’ll be driving and whether he’ll be a primary driver on a vehicle or an additional.  I haven’t crossed those bridges yet.  Though I’ve been reluctant to let our old 90s Accord go as it would be fairly inexpensive to insure with him as primary driver.  The longer he doesn’t drive though, the more silly it seems to be keeping it.  I expect the moment I sell or donate it he’ll get his permit /license 

We live rural though so unless I am going to chauffeur indefinitely Ds will have to drive or move to a city that isn’t car dependent.  I think being able to drive (legally and safely) is a pretty important life skill at this time and for where we live. 

 

[Pen]

 

8 hours ago, SKL said:

Look over your will and see if you need to reconsider anything that applies post-18th birthday.

 

This and a variety of things like it, I think. 

8 hours ago, SKL said:

Not sure if any tax laws currently provide a change at or around age 18, but that is something I'd check.

 

Would there be anything to do if it will change? Or just that it will be what it will be.  

Probably I will no longer be “head of household”.... 

 

8 hours ago, SKL said:

Any accomplishments that are age restricted, such as scouting achievements.

 

Ah.  I’ll mention this to him if he wants to do anything along those lines. Probably not but better to think of it while there’d be time 

8 hours ago, SKL said:

Obviously teaching / practicing all life skills needed to live independently.

 

 

Been trying to do that all along.

  But was suddenly hit by thought that this is the last summer when he’s a minor.  

 

[Farrar]

6 hours ago, Pen said:

 

If dc strongly doesn’t want wisdom teeth removed, would you push them to do it?  If it’s going to be done,  this summer would be ideal time from my POV.

I still have mine and am 100% happy with that. If the dentist had said they needed to be removed, I guess I would have considered it. But every dentist I've ever had has said that mine are fine. I'm not sure how they would have known at age 17 though. I cut them my first year in college. Yes, I was teething in college. I guess I'd listen to the dentist on this matter. If the dentist says it's elective, and the kid doesn't want to, I wouldn't push it.

Edited June 13, 2019 by Farrar

[SKL]

Re wisdom teeth, I am still cutting my first one at age 52.  I have decided to get some orthodontics done for my very crooked teeth to make them easier to care for.  Every time I eat, I get food stuck between my teeth and in the pocket around my 1 wisdom tooth.  I have to use an instrument to clean it out.  My concern is that when I am too old to really do this for myself, nobody's going to do it for me, and I will have serious dental problems leading to other health problems.

I am in the process of getting a consult on what I should get done.  I thought I ought to get those wisdoms out (the other 3 are lurking below the gums still).  The dentist seems to think it's not needed.  But I want it done and I will pay for it.  I am surprised - when I was like 21, I had a dental student tell me I needed to get them all out before they caused problems; but I had like 5c in those days.  Now apparently I can't pay someone to take them out ....

[Pen]

31 minutes ago, SKL said:

Re wisdom teeth, I am still cutting my first one at age 52.  I have decided to get some orthodontics done for my very crooked teeth to make them easier to care for.  Every time I eat, I get food stuck between my teeth and in the pocket around my 1 wisdom tooth.  I have to use an instrument to clean it out.  My concern is that when I am too old to really do this for myself, nobody's going to do it for me, and I will have serious dental problems leading to other health problems.

I am in the process of getting a consult on what I should get done.  I thought I ought to get those wisdoms out (the other 3 are lurking below the gums still).  The dentist seems to think it's not needed.  But I want it done and I will pay for it.  I am surprised - when I was like 21, I had a dental student tell me I needed to get them all out before they caused problems; but I had like 5c in those days.  Now apparently I can't pay someone to take them out ....

 

As another thought on it, I broke a tooth in such a way that it had to be removed—if there’d been a Wisdom tooth still available it would probably then have had room to erupt fully 

[mommyoffive]

Wow, amazing info here.  I had no idea about a lot it.  I am saving this.  

Thanks.

[Kassia]

Re:  wisdom teeth   My kids didn't have them removed as kids but my oldest was told several years ago he should get them out before they started causing problems and while he had good dental insurance so he did and his other molars ended up shifting after the wisdom teeth were removed, which caused big gaps that caused all kinds of problems for him.  He regrets having them out now.  My other two sons (in their 20s now) have been told they need theirs out - one keeps getting cavities in his.  

I had mine removed as an adult and everything was fine.

[SKL]

22 minutes ago, Kassia said:

Re:  wisdom teeth   My kids didn't have them removed as kids but my oldest was told several years ago he should get them out before they started causing problems and while he had good dental insurance so he did and his other molars ended up shifting after the wisdom teeth were removed, which caused big gaps that caused all kinds of problems for him.  He regrets having them out now.  My other two sons (in their 20s now) have been told they need theirs out - one keeps getting cavities in his.  

I had mine removed as an adult and everything was fine.

Interesting.  My dentist told me that whether the wisdoms are there or not does not affect what my other teeth do.  I was skeptical.

I have overlapping teeth in the middle.  Might get one of them pulled so the other teeth will fit in a line.  But if getting the wisdom(s) out would help that, I'd hope my dentist would know it ....

[TravelingChris]

On 6/13/2019 at 3:37 PM, prairiewindmomma said:

Pen---Ds just got his instructional permit.  The state does require car insurance at that point (you get it after you pass the knowledge test, before he starts driving with the instructional permit, and you have to bring proof of insurance to the driving test)----and that is running us well over $200/month.  I would only push the driver's permit if you have sufficient funds that leave breathing room in your household budget.  My ds can easily take public transportation to the local cc, and will be doing so next semester.  We are only getting him permitted because he is likely to live at home and drive to a local university (after his transfer AA degree) that does not have easy public transportation access and we want him to get his 100 hours of driving in before then. That takes time. 

I'd also sit down and have a discussion about his ability to enter into legal contracts once he hits 18---the impact of credit history, how interest rates work, what debts are not dischargeable in bankruptcy, etc. 

Our insurance did not rise with student driving, only after getting the license.  I think it probably varies according to states or insurance company policies.

[KungFuPanda]

Prepare the to book their own medical appointments.  Once they are 18 their doctors will begin talking to the child instead of you even though they can be on your insurance until 26.  It's good to prepare you both for this transition.  I know that the minute my daughter turned 18, I could no longer access her medical records through my parent account and she had to do all of that herself.  Transitioning their important paperwork over to them is a good idea too.  Things like their birth certificates, SSI cards, and passports will become their responsibility. 

[Corraleno]

On 6/13/2019 at 12:45 PM, Storygirl said:

Thanks! This is what I always believed, but another parent said differently at a missions trip meeting, indicating that their son had had a problem with his passport being accepted after he turned 18. I think he may have not quite understood what the issue in his situation was. But it caused me to wonder, and I wasn't able to figure it out by researching online.

Although the passports are not called child and adult passports, there are some differences in rules,  based on age.

The rules are slightly different when you apply for the passport (like parents needing to be present for a minor), and the time it's valid is shorter if the person is under 16 when it's issued (5 yrs vs 10), but as TechWife said, once the passport is issued, a passport is a passport — there's no difference between a 10 year old's passport and a 90 year old's passport, and a passport issued to a 15 year old is valid until he turns 20; turning 18 has no impact whatsoever.  

Your friends must have misunderstood what the issue was — for example, some countries require your passport to be valid for at least 6 months beyond your planned departure date, so if the person was planning to be in the country for 2 months the passport would need to be valid for at least 8 months beyond the date of entry. An 18 year old with only 6 months left before expiration could be turned away even though they seemed to have plenty of time left on the passport. A lot of people don't understand that about visas — I have known of athletes traveling to World Championships who were not allowed to board the plane because their passports did not have the extra 3-6 months of validity required! 

[Corraleno]

On 6/13/2019 at 9:01 AM, TechWife said:

Talk about medical and financial power of attorney. If he is incapacitated, who does he want to make decisions about his medical care and finances? Talk about consequences of not having it in place (court costs, delays in treatment, possibility a non family member could be appointed). Have forms ready for him to sign once he turns eighteen. 

As part of the above, you might want to talk briefly about what his thoughts are on artificial life support and organ donation. 

THIS. I would add making a simple will as well. As soon as DS turned 18, I had him do a will, medical and financial POAs, and whatever they call the DNR thingy in our state (its slightly different from a healthcare POA, and has various boxes to check and blanks to fill in). He also set up a sole checking account (already had a joint checking account with me), and listed me as the POD for the sole account. As soon as DD turns 18, I will do the same for her.

Edited June 17, 2019 by Corraleno

[Lori D.]

On 6/13/2019 at 9:18 PM, SKL said:

Re wisdom teeth, I am still cutting my first one at age 52... I thought I ought to get those wisdoms out (the other 3 are lurking below the gums still).  The dentist seems to think it's not needed.  But I want it done and I will pay for it...

DH had his 2 lower wisdom teeth removed a few years back while in his late 50s (the uppers were so high up and not in danger of coming down, they recommended leaving them). The 2 lower ones were finally starting to cause some problems of coming up a bit through the gum, then going down again, so the dentist recommended it. DH went with a great, very experienced oral surgeon who had them out in a jiffy. There was a little bit of a worry that one of the wisdom teeth was fragile and might break into pieces during the procedure and be troublesome, but it popped right out, totally intact. DH had a smooth recovery, no "dry sockets", and the only downside was it took close to 8 weeks for the holes to heal over, so he was having to use a special syringe to flush the pockets out after each meal. No after effects, so it was totally worth it.

[DawnM]

Eh, I just took it as it came.  I think with my oldest having special needs, I just didn't push stuff.....maybe some people think I should have pushed more independence, but I just talked about things as they came up.

They didn't register for the selective service, but then a letter came in the mail telling them to, so we did it when it came up.  I still book their doctor's appointments, although middle son drives and goes to the doctor on his own and prob would book it if I showed him how.

I think I relied on Boy Scouts to teach them most of what they needed to know! 😜

One thing I did tell them multiple times though, is that if they are ever picked up by the police, they MUST immediately demand a lawyer.  My sons, particularly my middle son, firmly believes that the truth will always prevail, and is quite naive to bad things that can happen.  We don't expect our innocent kids to be picked up for things they didn't do and interrogated and admit to things they didn't do, but we have a friend whose son had it happen to him and it was horrible.  It took YEARS and jail time, and over 100k to finally get him out and acquitted.  And it changed him completely.

[Bambam]

On 6/13/2019 at 11:01 AM, TechWife said:

Talk about medical and financial power of attorney. If he is incapacitated, who does he want to make decisions about his medical care and finances? Talk about consequences of not having it in place (court costs, delays in treatment, possibility a non family member could be appointed). Have forms ready for him to sign once he turns eighteen. 

As part of the above, you might want to talk briefly about what his thoughts are on artificial life support and organ donation. 

Talk with the pediatrician about transitioning to adult primary care and ask for referrals/recommendations. Make sure your son has contact info for any past and present MDs and dentists in case he needs to access history while away from you. Don’t forget specialists, even if it’s been a while since he has seen them. 

Give pertinent information about family medical history, especially as it relates to cancer, autoimmune disorders, heart issues, psychiatric  and vision issues. Make sure he knows cause of death for any grandparents, parents and siblings, if applicable. 

 

This. This has been an issue with some if it doesn't get done.