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dirty ethel rackham

Anyone NOT taking a summer course?

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What are you doing instead?  I am going out of my mind with boredom and loneliness.  Since I got into the program I applied to and it doesn't start until fall, I don't need to take any classes this summer and am regretting not doing so.  I should have at least taken yoga again so I would be able to apply for a summer job on campus as a tutor.   I have been looking for a part-time job, but everything seems to be evenings and weekends (especially the private tutoring companies and they don't seem to think I am qualified to tutor much.)  Perhaps it is selfish of me, but I don't want to do evenings and weekends right now.  That would mean that I would not have ANY time with the only significant relationships in my life ... dd and dh.  When I graduate from my program, I will have to pay my dues with evenings and weekends and would like to enjoy my family time while I can.  

So far ... 

I am continuing to volunteer with the organization for medically fragile children for a couple hours a week (due to availability of shifts.)  Sometimes I am with a child who is not particularly responsive and I can't tell if what I am doing is enjoyable or comforting to them or not.  On those days, I don't get as much out of it other than the "did a good deed" feeling.  I don't spend much time talking to the staff, although I would love to.  I find their jobs so interesting.

I joined a local facebook group for "seasoned moms" in our town and went to their once a month lunch. It was something to do and was enjoyable, but won't likely lead to meaningful friendships, especially if it is only once a month.  They do have a moms night out, but I don't drink and struggle in loud environments in the evenings, especially if it is with a bunch of strangers.

Planning on going to the local League of Women Voters monthly book group this week.  They choose books of weighty, timely significance each month.  Not sure if I have the stamina to do that every month.  This month, we are reading When the Line Becomes a River (Cantu).  It is heavy, heartrending stuff.  Can't wait to be done with it and get into a lighter head space.  Plus, I like fiction more than non-fiction, even if the fiction is heavy stuff.  

I am having trouble getting motivated to even go walk the dog because my life is such a solitary one.  I need a job with outside structure, not some self-starter biz where I have to sell myself.  Just don't have it in me to do that right now.  

My days are long!  

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I'm sorry you're struggling. One of the things that surprised me when I suddenly found myself forcibly retired from homeschooling was how differently I felt about unstructured time alone. I had never before in my life had trouble filling that time with enjoyable activities or even just being quiet by myself. However, when it became something I didn't need to seek out or wait for, all of that alone time really weighed on me. After even a couple of hours, my mood would spiral down and take me to some really dark places.

And for me, none of the volunteering/book-clubbing/hobbies-type activities worked to pull me out of the morass. I mean, I do those things, but none of them took the place of "work" that imposed structure and expectations on my days. That was why I was so determined to push my way into a full-time job. (I wasn't yet in school.)

For the last couple of years, I have worked full time and done some kind of educational thing on the side. First, I did a non-credit certificate. Then I earned a professional certification. And I am now one class away from a graduate certificate. Not sure what I'll do after that. All of my "school" has been online, though, so it doesn't address the social needs you're trying to meet. For me, that has been mostly handled with employment, although my new job has me working at home, which has advantages and disadvantages for me.

I totally hear you on the not "selling yourself" thing, by the way. One of the things I'm struggling with in my current job is that the boss seems to expect me to be a whole lot more focused on marketing the business than I anticipated when I accepted the position. I find it exhausting and stressful.

I am not taking a class this summer, because the one class I still need to finish out my program isn't offered. I had planned to do some kind of training class for one of the popular eLearning authoring applications, but then I got this new job, which has been taking up all of my emotional energy (not in a good way) and requiring me to try and teach myself a bunch of stuff. And, since I remain unconvinced the job is a good fit, I'm applying for other positions. So, I'm keeping my brain busy enough for the moment.

I am also padding my calendar with stuff where I can. I meet up with friends from my previous job every two or three weeks. I do lunch or grab coffee with another friend once or twice a month. I signed up for some free yoga classes through my local library branch, and I've started attending the weekly knit and crochet night at the main library downtown. I've also talked some of my family members into going to some of the ballets that are broadcast to movie theatres and similar special events (more expensive than a regular movie ticket, less expensive than live events). 

My days are long, too.

I'm very much looking forward to getting my employment situation resolved one way or another (either find a way to make my current job palatable or move on to something that is a better fit) soon and then starting my class in the fall. 

 

Edited by Jenny in Florida
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I also find that I miss the structure and routine of the school year. This year I decided to channel my school year work ethic directly into my self-care routine. I am working out at the YMCA 4-5 days a week- pretty much every day that I can make it work. I also started Whole 30 and am trying to make major shifts in my diet while I have time to cook and figure out a good routine. 

I'm in the process of getting onboarded to volunteer at our local hospital. I'll be working in the ICU helping with restocking, clerical work, and being a runner. I'm greatly looking forward to that.

I've also increased my number of coffee dates with other women, especially those from church. Do you have women that you could pursue? I'm an introvert so one coffee date fills my bucket for a week. 

I think at some point I may want to start tutoring, but I'm going to wait until I get into the school year. I have one homeschooler that I'm working with through the summer. In the fall I'll have 2 online classes and 1 in person class. If my time management is comfortable, I'd love to tutor at our local school. If not the fall, definitely the spring when I will have no classes.

I'm also protective of my evenings, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I'm becoming keenly aware of how short the time I have remaining with my teens is. I'm down to my last 2/3 summers. 

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I always miss structure when I don't have it as well, however, this summer I couldn't be happier for some down time. This past semester (taking 4 graduate classes and teaching 2 undergrad classes) was way more than I really want to do. I was exhausted and burned out. This summer I'm tutoring (tutor.com), working on a degree paper, and hanging out with my kids and husband whenever they are available. I kayak and bike at least once a week each, sometimes more. I've caught up with various appointments: dentist, vet, etc. I'm reading just because I want to and I'm in a book club with some other grad students. It is such a relief.

I have always been ready to go back to school every fall and I will be again. The structure is so good for me. I get more done, I enjoy what I'm doing. I totally get needing and missing it, but this summer, I'm healing from stress and overload and that's pretty great too.

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6 hours ago, Mom22ns said:

I always miss structure when I don't have it as well, however, this summer I couldn't be happier for some down time. This past semester (taking 4 graduate classes and teaching 2 undergrad classes) was way more than I really want to do. I was exhausted and burned out. This summer I'm tutoring (tutor.com), working on a degree paper, and hanging out with my kids and husband whenever they are available. I kayak and bike at least once a week each, sometimes more. I've caught up with various appointments: dentist, vet, etc. I'm reading just because I want to and I'm in a book club with some other grad students. It is such a relief.

I have always been ready to go back to school every fall and I will be again. The structure is so good for me. I get more done, I enjoy what I'm doing. I totally get needing and missing it, but this summer, I'm healing from stress and overload and that's pretty great too.

I would love the down time if I had people to spend it with.  Your unstructured time sounds delightful.  Mine is just plain lonely.  Have lots of "shoulds' on my plate, but it is hard to get motivated when I have this large expanse of unfilled time.  As much as I don't want to wish away a minute of dd19 being home, August can't come soon enough.

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