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Terabith

Hysterectomy on Monday

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Not sure how much blood I lost.  But I would think with all the digging inside that it would be hard to do that without blood loss.  I’m not as wiped out as when I gave birth and had a fourth degree tear.  Mentally I was okay then, but physically I couldn’t stand without getting dizzy.  

Just to make things more exciting, apparently my mother in law has a detached retina.  Fun times!

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15 hours ago, Terabith said:

It just sucks at the same time.

Can you find anything really worthwhile to do? Like watch all the Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers movies? Or you could stream this really high quality BBC wonder on your amazon prime 

                                            Young Dracula - The BBC Series: The Complete First Season                                     

I'm sorry you feel like junk. On the plus side, it isn't a concussion. I see  you're saying you're on track. Sigh.

11 hours ago, Terabith said:

I am on narcotics.  

Oh my goodness! Well you're definitely feeling a mess. My dd was a loon on those strong pain meds. Fwiw she didn't remember later what she did. Don't go to Vegas. 

Maybe you won't remember this completely when you're better. Try to sleep a lot.

Edited by PeterPan
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Today was definitely better!  I was able to read some and the chaos of being around people didn’t make me nauseated or headachy.  I even put on actual clothes and went out for a bit to Chick Fil A and a coffee house where my husband knew the guitarist.  I felt almost normal, even if my arms look like a heroin addict.  

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12 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I felt almost normal, even if my arms look like a heroin addict.

Well around here it's been so cold you can wear long sleeves and not look crazy. Or get a Sharpie and connect the dots maybe? Draw flowers on yourself?

I'm glad you're a little more up and about. That's a good sign!

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7 hours ago, Terabith said:

And.... I just took a pain pill.  Why does that feel like a failure?  

Not a failure! Healing is a long process, so you hurt. The doctor gave you the pills because you legitimately need them.

Hope you find today a little better again. It's great that you got out yesterday.

Edited by Innisfree

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Ugh.  Not sure I do feel as great today.  I feel utterly exhausted and pain is up.  Thinking maybe I overdid it yesterday.  Kinda shaky when I try to get up.  

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14 hours ago, Terabith said:

And.... I just took a pain pill.  Why does that feel like a failure?  

It isn't/  Keeping you free from pain helps other issues not to arise.

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IHow much pain is normal?  I don’t mean the giant nine inch incision.  But deep down, on the sides, when I twist or try to get in or out of bed or a chair, it hurts a lot.  Walking jostles it.  I’m trying to be reasonably active but not overdo it, but I don’t know where the line is.  It just hurts, and sometimes I think surely this kind of pain means something is wrong.  And I’m tired all the time and a lot of the time really just feel like crawling back into bed.  I’m almost out of pain meds, so I figure I shouldn’t need anymore.  I don’t want to ask.  But the pain is draining.  And I want to participate in regular life to a reasonable degree.  But I just don’t really feel up to it honestly but feel pathetic for that fact.  I really am grateful.  Recovering is just slow and painful.  The tiredness feels almost like the flu, when a shower totally wears me out.  And I don’t know where the line is of what’s normal.  I don’t know when I should push harder and when I should rest.  I’ve been going for walks and out to dinner and running small errands.  

Edited by Terabith
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I haven't had that sort of surgery before, but I can definitely say that pain and/or illness affects different people differently, so you shouldn't feel pathetic because this recovery is harder for you (maybe) than for the "average" patient.  For two anecdotal points of reference, my SIL had both of her children with zero pain meds. For me, every inch of dilation causes approximately one extra tick on the 1-10 pain scale, and when I hit transition (8-9cm) I'm at an 8 or a 9 on the pain scale and pretty much screaming incoherencies if I haven't gotten an epidural in time.  So when I said wow, no pain meds?! She said yeah, the pain never got above a 4 or 5, it wasn't that big a deal.

!!!!!  Well jeez, I wouldn't be desperate for an epidural either if the pain never got above a 5!

Second anecdote: when I have the flu, I'm tired and sick but not as tired and sick as you report being.  A shower does not exhaust me.  I function unhappily but not impossibly, kwim?

So I just think that within a range, bodies are different and there's no shame in having one kind or the other as far as this goes.  I would absolutely call whatever doctor you were told to call and say hey, this is a really hard recovery for me and I am still in at times debilitating pain, is there anything you can do or that I should do, or could something be wrong?  And see what they say.  I've never had a doctor not want extra information.

Edited by moonflower
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I talked to doctor on Friday, and she said I am definitely doing a lot more than most of her patients at this stage.   I’m getting dressed, going out, walking more.  And I can function.  She said exhaustion and pain are normal.  I go see GP Tuesday, and I may call surgeon Monday and ask about pain meds if nothing else.  Every time I have seen her, she’s commented that I am doing more.  She let me out of the hospital a couple days early.  And maybe I am doing too much?   I just don’t have a good scale.  Mostly I feel okay.  I’m just tired and it’s hard to tell what pain is normal and what isn’t.  She has told me several times that this is an eight week recovery.  But I don’t know what that should look like at five or six days.  And maybe if most people are still in jammies and mostly in bed, maybe I am tired and hurting because I’m doing too much.  I just don’t know.  I really don’t think I’m healing badly, from comments of nurses at hospital and from her.  I just need more guidance on what I should do than listen to my body.  My body is lazy.  I don’t tend to trust it.  

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1 hour ago, Terabith said:

I talked to doctor on Friday, and she said I am definitely doing a lot more than most of her patients at this stage.   I’m getting dressed, going out, walking more.  And I can function.  She said exhaustion and pain are normal.  I go see GP Tuesday, and I may call surgeon Monday and ask about pain meds if nothing else.  Every time I have seen her, she’s commented that I am doing more.  She let me out of the hospital a couple days early.  And maybe I am doing too much?   I just don’t have a good scale.  Mostly I feel okay.  I’m just tired and it’s hard to tell what pain is normal and what isn’t.  She has told me several times that this is an eight week recovery.  But I don’t know what that should look like at five or six days.  And maybe if most people are still in jammies and mostly in bed, maybe I am tired and hurting because I’m doing too much.  I just don’t know.  I really don’t think I’m healing badly, from comments of nurses at hospital and from her.  I just need more guidance on what I should do than listen to my body.  My body is lazy.  I don’t tend to trust it.  

As someone who tends to be on the opposite end of the spectrum--I bounced back from two c-sections and a hysterectomy within a couple of days and felt pretty darn great and had people telling me I shouldn't be feeling that well--I think you should listen to your own body. Don't worry about being lazy. After major surgery is certainly a time that you're entitled to be!! Recovery isn't a competition, and we're all different and follow our own trajectory. If you're worried, if you feel your pain level is more than it should be--then don't hesitate to talk to your surgeon or doctor or both and speak up for yourself. Recovery is about you, not about anyone else. Pain perception does vary widely, but if you perceive you're in more pain than you should be--that's all that matters. Because that's what's going to drive your BP up and maybe have other physiological effects. Better to speak up, figure out if something else is going on. Your body doesn't care how Jane or Jill felt at this point after surgery. It only knows what it's dealing with.

(But OTOH I absolutely understand the pain conundrum and needing more guidance. I go through it with my rheumatologist about RA. I'm almost a year into treatment and I still don't fully understand what the goal is. Should I be totally pain free? That hasn't happened. So . . tolerable pain? I don't know. He just keeps saying "as free from pain as we can get you." And I don't know what that means, really. If I'm hurting every day but it's fairly tolerable does that still mean we need to adjust/change medication to hopefully make it better? How am I supposed to know when I'm "as free from pain as possible"? IDK. So yes, I understand what you're saying. Don't you wish we could measure pain like we do BP?)

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Yes, exactly!  I would be far more comfortable with something less nebulous!!!  In general I think I’m doing okay.  I just don’t have a great sense for what I am aiming for.  

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6 hours ago, Terabith said:

IHow much pain is normal?  I don’t mean the giant nine inch incision.  But deep down, on the sides, when I twist or try to get in or out of bed or a chair, it hurts a lot.  Walking jostles it.  I’m trying to be reasonably active but not overdo it, but I don’t know where the line is.  It just hurts, and sometimes I think surely this kind of pain means something is wrong.  And I’m tired all the time and a lot of the time really just feel like crawling back into bed.  I’m almost out of pain meds, so I figure I shouldn’t need anymore.  I don’t want to ask.  But the pain is draining.  And I want to participate in regular life to a reasonable degree.  But I just don’t really feel up to it honestly but feel pathetic for that fact.  I really am grateful.  Recovering is just slow and painful.  The tiredness feels almost like the flu, when a shower totally wears me out.  And I don’t know where the line is of what’s normal.  I don’t know when I should push harder and when I should rest.  I’ve been going for walks and out to dinner and running small errands.  

Have you googled abdominal binder? You can get these on amazon. I’m wondering if this could make a difference. 

Sometimes they will provide this in the hospital. 

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Binder is an awesome idea!  Make things more stable.  And I’m really doing okay.  I felt far more physically disabled by my oldest’s vaginal birth with a fourth degree tear than the surgery, honestly.  The blood loss knocked me for weeks.  

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It sounds like you are doing better than great, if your surgeon tells you that your activity level is high compared to normal.  But try very hard NOT to overdo.  

For the deep down pain, while I am no doctor (but I'm a doula so I enjoy uterus talk), I know the uterus is both a support and supported by all other pelvic organs.  Everything is tightly packed so that organs can lean on each other and the whole system holds itself up... or should.  It will take your body some time to find a new arrangement of pelvic organs and interior support and until then, I'm not surprised that you are feeling some deep aches and soreness.  Things are shifting and finding a bit of space where previously there wasn't any, and that will take a while to tighten back up and provide you with your core support for all other body movements.  

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17 minutes ago, Monica_in_Switzerland said:

It sounds like you are doing better than great, if your surgeon tells you that your activity level is high compared to normal.  But try very hard NOT to overdo.  

For the deep down pain, while I am no doctor (but I'm a doula so I enjoy uterus talk), I know the uterus is both a support and supported by all other pelvic organs.  Everything is tightly packed so that organs can lean on each other and the whole system holds itself up... or should.  It will take your body some time to find a new arrangement of pelvic organs and interior support and until then, I'm not surprised that you are feeling some deep aches and soreness.  Things are shifting and finding a bit of space where previously there wasn't any, and that will take a while to tighten back up and provide you with your core support for all other body movements.  

Yeah, and it’s not just the uterus that’s gone but the 20 pound, basketball sized cyst.  

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3 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Yeah, and it’s not just the uterus that’s gone but the 20 pound, basketball sized cyst.  

 

Oh my goodness, that's a lot of rearranging that's gotta happen now!  

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On 6/15/2019 at 2:40 AM, Terabith said:

And.... I just took a pain pill.  Why does that feel like a failure?  

I don’t know, it’s not failure to control pain?  Expect 2-3 weeks of narcotic pain relief to be necessary.  I find they try to cut that off way too soon in some hospitals.

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16 hours ago, Terabith said:

My body is lazy.

Are you sure?? It seems like you probably weren't feeling very well before, hauling around that 20 pound alien. You might find it's not so lazy after you recover from this, and you might recover better if you give your body time, good food, rest, a little tlc. :smile:  Are they going to do PT or something to get your muscles and everything tightened back up? Are you kind of stretched out and needing to go back in? It seems like the walks would be good for that too. Just standing up and sitting down properly uses a lot of muscles. When the doctor keeps saying you're doing a lot, I'd be asking if that's a hint that she wants you to do a little less. Maybe decrease by 20% and see what happens. Drop the errands maybe. Shouldn't be driving on strong meds anyway.

I've never had a 20 pound cyst, but my ds was 11 pounds and kinda like this...

 

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They haven’t mentioned PT, but it’s probably not a bad idea.  I’m fat and have giant boobs, and the cyst, while making me look bloated, didn’t make me look THAT bloated.  Especially given my penchant for baggy clothes.  

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16 hours ago, Terabith said:

I talked to doctor on Friday, and she said I am definitely doing a lot more than most of her patients at this stage.   I’m getting dressed, going out, walking more.  And I can function.  She said exhaustion and pain are normal.  I go see GP Tuesday, and I may call surgeon Monday and ask about pain meds if nothing else.  Every time I have seen her, she’s commented that I am doing more.  She let me out of the hospital a couple days early.  And maybe I am doing too much?   I just don’t have a good scale.  Mostly I feel okay.  I’m just tired and it’s hard to tell what pain is normal and what isn’t.  She has told me several times that this is an eight week recovery.  But I don’t know what that should look like at five or six days.  And maybe if most people are still in jammies and mostly in bed, maybe I am tired and hurting because I’m doing too much.  I just don’t know.  I really don’t think I’m healing badly, from comments of nurses at hospital and from her.  I just need more guidance on what I should do than listen to my body.  My body is lazy.  I don’t tend to trust it.  

It is better for your body to be doing more even if it means more pain meds.  As long as you know yourself and have had pain meds before and know you do not get addicted.  I never get any high of any pain med I have ever been on.  OTOH, I know people with addictive personalities who cannot use pain meds responsibly or have a hard time with them.  

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Oh gosh, I hate the way I feel on pain meds.  I keep thinking they must affect people differently, because I can’t imagine liking the feeling of them. For just sleeping, however, it doesn’t bother me. 

Today I went to church, out to dinner at Mission BBQ, went to the grocery store.  I’ve been up and down the stairs numerous times.  I didn’t go for a walk around the block because it was raining.  I’m slow doing these things, and they hurt, but I can do them.  Some stuff, like loading the bottom part of the dishwasher, though, I’m just like hell no.  So I think I’m doing a reasonable amount.  I also read a bunch and surfed Facebook.  But I keep thinking I should be able to do more.  Folding laundry and picking stuff up the floor are just like...no.  

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51 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Oh gosh, I hate the way I feel on pain meds.  I keep thinking they must affect people differently, because I can’t imagine liking the feeling of them. For just sleeping, however, it doesn’t bother me. 

Today I went to church, out to dinner at Mission BBQ, went to the grocery store.  I’ve been up and down the stairs numerous times.  I didn’t go for a walk around the block because it was raining.  I’m slow doing these things, and they hurt, but I can do them.  Some stuff, like loading the bottom part of the dishwasher, though, I’m just like hell no.  So I think I’m doing a reasonable amount.  I also read a bunch and surfed Facebook.  But I keep thinking I should be able to do more.  Folding laundry and picking stuff up the floor are just like...no.  

 

Why are you thinking you should be able to do more? 

Honestly, when I read your post, I was worried that you are overdoing it! 

Don’t be a hero. Let other people do the housework and grocery shopping for a while!

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1 hour ago, Terabith said:

Oh gosh, I hate the way I feel on pain meds.

My dd actually felt better on strong tylenol than the prescribed meds. But that was for wisdom teeth removal, not internal rearrangement. But still you might not be crazy. I really think they were partly to help her forget how awful it was, since she hurt either way (meds or tylenol).

1 hour ago, Terabith said:

So I think I’m doing a reasonable amount.

Dishwasher and laundry are definitely unreasonable. :biggrin: Your kids are old enough to do that. I mean bending over after surgery sounds AWFUL. Couldn't you just dust or do something a little more elevated?

1 hour ago, Terabith said:

I also read a bunch and surfed Facebook.

Perfect. You could also see if you could shop while you're on the meds and spend a bunch of money. That's what my dd did. It was really bad. Like I said, the meds seem to make you forget things. Afterwards, she was like what, who me? :ohmy:

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Oh, other people are doing most of housework and stuff.  Every so often though I keep thinking, “Oh, I will just stick this in the dishwasher.”  And then I start to do it and remember why it’s a bad idea. As the day goes on, I hurt more.  I may call surgeon and ask if it would be possible to have a refill for night time.  

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I’m not driving.  I think I probably could...I have only taken pain meds at night for several days.  But twisting to look behind me or emergency stopping would hurt.  I think it’s important to do stuff.  But maybe I am doing too much.  Might try taking a nap in afternoon and seeing if that helps.  

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Don't do too much!   Even if you think you don't have much pain, you could be causing *internal damage* to your surgical site.  That could require a second surgery to correct.  TAKE IT SLOW.  It sounds like you are trying to be reasonable.  I know it's hard (5 c-sections, and a hysterectomy here!). 

It's okay to get up and walk around some.  But no driving (yet).  No bending down or twisting for laundry, dishes, or sweeping/vac. Limit your trips up and down the stairs. All your pain is not something to power through right now, it is a symptom that you are doing too much and need to go slow.  You need to give your tissues a chance to heal, before you expect them to be strong.  It you don't want narcotics, call your Dr and ask about other pain meds that could work. 

 

 

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I am REALLY tired today.  Have been up maybe two hours but seriously pondering a nap.  

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It's a good day for a nap. You could do it in a shady spot outside and get some fresh air. Or do it inside. The board fairies have sprinkled napping dust on you. :smile:

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Saw GP today.  She said I am way overdoing it.  I’ve been trying to push through and feel normal, but honestly, I really am hurting and really tired and just generally not feeling great.  Kinda depressing.  

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1 hour ago, Terabith said:

She said I am way overdoing it.

I think you would feel better if you got hooked on some really fine, high quality tv viewing, like YOUNG DRACULA, put your feet up, and watched all 6 or however many seasons of it. When you finish, you'd have accomplished something, be more culturally conversant (on soy blood and whether you'd choose to keep your father a vampire if you had the choice) and maybe on the other side of this. So maybe sip something red (does tea come in red?) and watch some fine tv... 

 

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