It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.....Not (snarkiness ahead)

[Amber in SJ]

Seriously, what is it about the end of the school year that makes parents think it would be so much "easier" to homeschool?

Every year at this time, it seems like every homeschool group, social meet up, play group or online forum gets swamped with new people asking where they can find (and yes, this is an actual quote)

"Free or extremely cheap, online, complete curriculum that requires no work from the parent" because she works 60+ hours/ week at her high powered corporate job that she can't give up because she is an example to young girls everywhere,  or she is a social media influencer and her blog, Insta, and other social media sites need all her attention or her yoga/ pilates/cross-fit/ spartan race training lifestyle take up all of her time.  I have actually met these three women in the last two of weeks at homeschool events and have been asked several variations of that question by many others.

Not only does the curriculum need to be free or cheap, it needs to be challenging & creative because her child is gifted.  It also needs to be self grading and produce completely official looking transcripts for the Ivies.  And completely re-usable for the child she is currently thinking about adding to the family (there is a poll on her blog "Should Steve & Amy have another baby?  Vote below")

Don't worry that I am letting down polite homeschoolers everywhere by being unkind to the askers.  I usually respond with something along the lines of:

 "Homeschooling generally takes a lot of work or a lot of money; and sometimes both." or "Homeschooling is not for everyone."

OK, Phew.  I feel better

Amber in SJ

[Garga]

That’s cyberschool.  Tell them to sign their kid up for cyberschool.  

[Garga]

The woman working 60 hours a week, ok.  But the women who can’t raise their kids because they’re blogging or doing yoga?  Are they being paid for those things?  Making a living by doing them?  If not, blah.  They sound super annoying.  Their poor kids.

[kbutton]

Good answers in those situations. Hopefully they'll realize they are hearing bits and pieces of true things and making them into some kind of wish list that is not really compatible with any and all homeschool options. And maybe they'll realize it's not for them.

I feel like my questions about co-ops always sound as complicated, lol, but with different criteria. I think they are utterly reasonable, just not really represented in local homeschool culture. 

I also think that sounds like cyberschool.

 

[Terabith]

I never used cyberschool, but my understanding was that even full on cyber school requires a fair bit of parental interaction and involvement, at least in the early grades?

[catz]

4 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I never used cyberschool, but my understanding was that even full on cyber school requires a fair bit of parental interaction and involvement, at least in the early grades?

I know people who dropped their kids out of cyber school because it’s straight up easier and more flexible to do it on your own.  

[gardenmom5]

I know a woman like that.  I wonder why she had kids....

we're at a part at the beach, and are up by the picnic shelter.  "where are your kids?" - oh ,they're at the beach....  the oldest was 10.  there is no lifeguard.  there is a dock that wraps around it.  she's known for not liking summer break because then her kids are home.   last time I saw her, she was complaining about how the school isn't doing enough to help her son.  (maybe if she'd actually parent...)  no, dear, they're too busy trying to help children like mine, who are on the spectrum and have shut down and really do have needs.   but the spec ed teacher is very happy to be helping - because she KNOWS I have been doing everything in my power.   other mom?   loves to send her kids to other people's houses to play - and never, ever reciprocates.   she especially loves to send her kids to other people's houses when she wants to go shopping/etc.  she has dreams of her son playing proball.  her bil is a former proball player.  the woman is a flake.  vent/

[itsheresomewhere]

It is in high gear now.  Some many looking for free or someone to do it for free. We had one who wanted it all and where she could drop her child off during the day so someone could “homeschool” her child. Then we have the others coming out of the woodwork that say everyone can homeschool and how dare I suggest otherwise. No some can’t.  Best was when I said unschooling is not for every child.  You would have thought I was horrible and a complete witch for saying that. 

[Shoeless]

Can I add my vent, too? 

I'm feeling very sour about this, and it's probably none of my business...but...

The local school district has a summer breakfast and lunch program sponsored by the USDA.  The meals are free for all kids 18 and under.  We don't participate in the program, because my son wouldn't qualify for any sort of free meal program if he were in school, and I feel like we'd just be mooching.  This program is supposed to support the families that really *need* those free meals in school and who struggle when school is out of session.  It feels wrong to me to take from that program, even though when we've happened upon the lunch program at the park, they've always offered him what they were serving and make it clear that any child can have a free meal. We live in a poor area and I want that food to go to the kids that need it. I'd feel horrible if they were one meal short because my upper-middle-class kid took a meal for funsies.  I'd feel like a hypocrite if we took meals, so we say thank you, but we're fine.  

But the moms in the homeschool group?  Woohoo, summer time means free meals at the park!  They're loading up all the kids and giggling about how great it is that they won't have to feed the kids the entire summer!  These are families that a) do not need a free meal program and b) are VERY outspoken against receiving government "hand outs" c) are VERY outspoken about the schools overstepping their roles.  Lots of "We homeschool to avoid government oversight and control!  We don't want charter funds for school!  Stay out of our lives!" talk. 

But they'll happily, joyfully take the government and school sponsored free breakfast and lunch because they are cheap and lazy, and no one will ask them for id or proof of income, so they can fly under the radar and get free meals with zero accountability.  They do the same thing at the "kids and cops" event, where the cops give out bikes to low-income families.  Oh, and they are "unschoolers", too.  I have nothing against the idea of unschooling.  We've been pretty darn unschooly at times, but I also have a kid that reads math curricula and the atlas for fun, so I'm hard pressed to interrupt him reading about ancient trade routes to drill spelling words or whatever.  I'm just tired of really lazy, unmotivated people who claim all the nothing they do is "unschooling", when I know the only reason their kids aren't in school is because school would force at least a teensy bit of accountability upon the parents.

*scowl* 

[HomeAgain]

I hear you loud and clear!  I have tried to quietly spread the word that you're going to have to be prepared to give any combination of time, energy, and money and treat it as a job.  It doesn't always work. 😕 I'm actually intensively tutoring a kid next year who has been the product of the thought that you can just sit a kid in front of a computer and have it all.  He is starting to realize, in middle school, that at the point he is working he could never enter a public school and succeed - which is his goal.  If I didn't like this kid so much and he hadn't showed me this year he is capable of taking on the challenge I would back away, but he deserves a chance to be able to move away from computer schooling and into a better situation.

[Ottakee]

Miss Lemon....on the summer parks food program, they generally WANT all kids to have a breakfast/lunch in the summer.  Our program stressed it is for ALL kids.  If they don't have enough kids show up then everyone loses as they reduce/eliminate the programs.  I have asked to make sure before when my kids ate there as I had the same concerns as you.

[alisoncooks]

Wow. I seriously wonder about the lack of whackadoodles in my life. Every homeschooler I [casually] interact with seems relatively normal. Plus, I'm pretty antisocial and don't go around engaging strangers...maybe that's where the crazies come out?  

My life feels so boring. 😉

[Terabith]

Yup, my kids do role playing at the library where free meals are given out and they are begging kids to eat.  They really do need participation from all families for the program to exist for the families that need it.  

[Amy in NH]

17 hours ago, Garga said:

That’s cyberschool.  Tell them to sign their kid up for cyberschool.  

 

People here seem to consider cyberschool to be homeschooling.

[Pen]

These people went to a homeschooling event? 

I think your answer was fine.

 I think people may have very little concept about homeschooling, and that end of a school year is a time to think about the next year and whether to make changes.

 I might suggest them to read TWTM , and perhaps to try a (not free) complete homeschooling bundle like ... name on tip of tongue... nope gone ... to try out homeschooling over the summer. If it seems to be going great then they can continue in fall, if not go back to regular school in fall. 

Maybe they’d dip a toe in to homeschooling over summer and decide it’s better than full time Pilates  ... maybe not

[Arcadia]

19 hours ago, Amber in SJ said:

Seriously, what is it about the end of the school year that makes parents think it would be so much "easier" to homeschool?

 

Most parents who ask me at the end of school year seems to feel that 1) their kids are smart and the teacher doesn’t think highly enough of their kid but don’t want to spend the money on private school, 2) their kids’ teachers complain too much and they don’t want to act on those complains 3) their kids are bullied (some are real) and they don’t think next school year would be any better. Those whose kids are bullied tend to opt for Ocean Grove or CAVA depending on whether the mom is working full time or not. Most of the CAVA families I know have kids being looked after by grandparents and aunts while parents or single moms are at work.

1 hour ago, Pen said:

I think people may have very little concept about homeschooling, and that end of a school year is a time to think about the next year and whether to make changes.

 

I have been asked by quite a few people whether the public charter provides homebound education (excluding kids who medically could not attend school) to their kids. They want a credentialed public school teacher to come to their home at least weekly to teach their kids. 

[Jyhwkmama]

13 hours ago, MissLemon said:

Can I add my vent, too? 

I'm feeling very sour about this, and it's probably none of my business...but...

The local school district has a summer breakfast and lunch program sponsored by the USDA.  The meals are free for all kids 18 and under.  We don't participate in the program, because my son wouldn't qualify for any sort of free meal program if he were in school, and I feel like we'd just be mooching.  This program is supposed to support the families that really *need* those free meals in school and who struggle when school is out of session.  It feels wrong to me to take from that program, even though when we've happened upon the lunch program at the park, they've always offered him what they were serving and make it clear that any child can have a free meal. We live in a poor area and I want that food to go to the kids that need it. I'd feel horrible if they were one meal short because my upper-middle-class kid took a meal for funsies.  I'd feel like a hypocrite if we took meals, so we say thank you, but we're fine.  

But the moms in the homeschool group?  Woohoo, summer time means free meals at the park!  They're loading up all the kids and giggling about how great it is that they won't have to feed the kids the entire summer!  These are families that a) do not need a free meal program and b) are VERY outspoken against receiving government "hand outs" c) are VERY outspoken about the schools overstepping their roles.  Lots of "We homeschool to avoid government oversight and control!  We don't want charter funds for school!  Stay out of our lives!" talk. 

But they'll happily, joyfully take the government and school sponsored free breakfast and lunch because they are cheap and lazy, and no one will ask them for id or proof of income, so they can fly under the radar and get free meals with zero accountability.  They do the same thing at the "kids and cops" event, where the cops give out bikes to low-income families.  Oh, and they are "unschoolers", too.  I have nothing against the idea of unschooling.  We've been pretty darn unschooly at times, but I also have a kid that reads math curricula and the atlas for fun, so I'm hard pressed to interrupt him reading about ancient trade routes to drill spelling words or whatever.  I'm just tired of really lazy, unmotivated people who claim all the nothing they do is "unschooling", when I know the only reason their kids aren't in school is because school would force at least a teensy bit of accountability upon the parents.

*scowl* 

I actually want to clear up a misconception about this. I live in an affluent area. However, there are still needier neighborhoods. Our school district (like most in the US) has the same summer lunch program.  Our school district actually begs for kids to come eat there. The school district is actually reimbursed for the meals at a higher rate than the cost. The summer lunch program is a financial help to the schools. Also, if enough kids don't eat in a particular location, the dictrict sometimes has to close it  which hurts any needy kids in the area.  My kids have food allergies, but if they didn't I would totally taker them for lunch a couple of times a week.

[Jyhwkmama]

Serial posting to say that cyberschool is work for the parent. Real work. My kid is in cyberschool and while I like it and am thankful it is available it takes commitment. I work with him on every topic almost every day.  It is not autopilot, especially for younger kids.

[Arcadia]

13 hours ago, MissLemon said:

The local school district has a summer breakfast and lunch program sponsored by the USDA.  

 

Maybe just treat the summer food program as providing summer employment to school cafeteria and other food prep staff. 

Depending on how the host of the program budget, they might end up earning a profit after USDA reimbursement. 

“ These adjusted rates will be in effect from January 1, 2019 through December 31, 2019.

These changes are reflected below.

All States except Alaska and Hawaii—Rural or Self-prep Sites—Breakfast—2 dollars and 29.75 cents (6.5 cent increase from the 2018 reimbursement rate), Lunch or Supper—4 dollars and 3.25 cents (11 cent increase), Snack—95.25 cents (2.25 cent increase); All Other Types of Sites—Breakfast—2 dollars and 25.5 cents (6.5 cent increase), Lunch or Supper—3 dollars and 96.75 cents (11 cent increase), Snack—93.25 cents (2.25 cent increase).

Alaska—Rural or Self-prep Sites—Breakfast—3 dollars and 72.5 cents (9.75 cent increase), Lunch or Supper—6 dollars and 52.75 cents (16.5 cent increase), Snack—1 dollar and 54.75 cents (4.5 cent increase); All Other Types of Sites—Breakfast—3 dollars and 65.5 cents (9.5 cent increase), Lunch or Supper—6 dollars and 42.25 cents (16.25 cent increase), Snack—1 dollar and 51.25 cents (4.25 cent increase).

Hawaii—Rural or Self-prep Sites—Breakfast—2 dollars and 68.25 cents (6.5 cent increase), Lunch or Supper—4 dollars and 71.5 cents (12 cent increase), Snack—1 dollar and 11.25 cents (2.5 cent increase); All Other Types of Sites—Breakfast—2 dollars and 63.25 cents (6.5 cent increase), Lunch or Supper—4 dollars and 64 cents (12 cent increase), Snack—1 dollar and 8.5 cents (2.25 cent increase).” https://www.fns.usda.gov/sfsp/fr-032019

[Shoeless]

I am glad to hear it truly is ok for every child to eat through the program.  I feel a little better about that.  

 

I still think there is some sort of ethical disconnect between being very vocally anti-government assistance and anti-"government school" and then giddily making plans to get the free govt. meals. 

[Sweets]

In my homeschool career, I met mostly parents who were responsible and dedicated. One of my sons had a girlfriend whose mother was an English teacher at our local high school and totally anti-homeschooling. She'd tell me all the horror stories of the homeschooled high school students that were barely literate. However, i think getting to know our family she saw thst homeschooling could work, but I think she was surprised at the sheer hard work i had to do as well as the scope of the studies that my kids did. There are homeschool parenting failures, but luckily most of the homeschooling families we knew were successful.

What I see happening now in our area is that homeschooling is now a business. No more free get togethers in the park as we used to do or even get togethers to study something fun. Now these co-ops that are for-profit are everywhere. 

[*****]

Hmmm, interesting on the for-profit co-ops...looks like that could be an opportunity for side jobs for those of us whose children are now grown!  After all, we are from the generation who actually did the hard work of comparing, choosing and teaching curriculum/subjects to our kids!  

The thing that gets me about these new homeschoolers is that many (not all) expect to get their materials for free or low cost.  Ahem, we looked for good deals, but you have to expect to shell out some money.  Also, we would like to recover some of our expenses...

Regarding the summer meal programs. I would cringe too, when it was offered at our summer reading program for 2 reasons:

1.  The food served-processed cheese, white bread...was something we didn't eat in our house. But it was difficult to explain that one to a hungry 5 year old at the time!  

2.  I did not like to promote waste.  If the government is so good as to feed the kids, then I felt the proportions should have matched the size/appetite of the child.  My 5 year old couldn't eat a whole sandwich and a whole apple, etc. in 1 sitting.  Therefore, throwing the food away and being wasteful was taught, as the food was not to be taken off the premises. Maybe changes have been made to cut the apples in 1/2?  idk, but back then it wasn't.    

[Shoeless]

I didn't realize for profit co-ops were a thing?  Or is that what Classical Conversations is about? They seem to be everywhere around here.  

I don't think the quality of the food served at the free meal program is that great, either, but if you are a hungry kid in a food-insecure home, it's better than nothing.  Around here, they serve the meals at the schools and the local parks.  I don't know what the policies are at the schools, but at the park they just hand you a bagged meal and you can eat it where ever.  Maybe they expect you to eat it at the park and not take it home, but I don't see how that could be enforced.    

I don't think our local library would be very excited to partner with the meal program.  They don't allow any food or drinks in the library.  I casually mentioned to one of the librarians that the other area libraries had coffee vending machines and it surprised me to see that in a library.  I got a stone-faced look in return.  Yikes.      

[Terabith]

Yeah, our issues with the summer food programs is that the food is awful.  My kids literally won't eat it.  Quality wise, it seems worse than the public school lunches during the year, and those are really rather bad.  They load off some of the stuff onto the teen boys at the role playing club, but even then, only a few of the teen boys are willing to eat the food because it's so gross.  

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, MissLemon said:

I don't think our local library would be very excited to partner with the meal program.  They don't allow any food or drinks in the library.  I casually mentioned to one of the librarians that the other area libraries had coffee vending machines and it surprised me to see that in a library.  I got a stone-faced look in return.  Yikes.      

 

My city’s libraries have courtyard for people to eat and drink as that was the most requested item (courtyard inside the library) when the libraries were designed. It is so nice to have a place to feed young kids without having to leave the library. My kids love having their packed lunch there when our home is too hot and we spend the entire day at the library. 

Another city’s library sells coffee, tea and instant noodles as part of friends of the library inside the library cafe just after the main entrance. 

“And, our very popular cafe in the library lobby netted $11,000. Overall, our fundraising efforts earned $172,000,” https://losaltoslibraryfriends.org/images/pdfs/annual-report/folal-annual-report.pdf

A different city’s library has vending machines for cold drinks, hot drinks and snacks. When they renovated that library, they expanded and build a covered walkway from the gantry of the library book area to the building’s main entrance. That is where they put the vending machines and some comfy seats so people can eat under their packed food and/or vending machine purchases. As there is no cafe nearby, I appreciate being able to buy a cup of coffee from the vending machine and relax while my kids read.  

My district hosts the summer food program in schools as those schools have cafeterias and food prep is easier there than having the summer program at the library. Also the schools hosting are the ones with a high number of students on free lunch and who are within comfortable walking distance of those schools.

29 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Yeah, our issues with the summer food programs is that the food is awful.  

 

The choices for reimbursable meals aren’t that flexible https://www.fns.usda.gov/sfsp/meal-patterns

Edited June 5, 2019 by Arcadia
Formatting

[Tenaj]

Sorry, I have a problem with any government program that has to "beg" everyone to participate just so it will exist for those that need it.   Adjust the size of the program, redesign it, do something so that resources are not being wasted and are funneled to those in need.  

Back to the original subject ... I just told my husband last night that I can't even try to answer some of the questions that are coming through our local homeschool groups page right now because I can only think of snarky replies.

[BakersDozen]

Quote

But the moms in the homeschool group?  Woohoo, summer time means free meals at the park!  They're loading up all the kids and giggling about how great it is that they won't have to feed the kids the entire summer!  These are families that a) do not need a free meal program and b) are VERY outspoken against receiving government "hand outs" c) are VERY outspoken about the schools overstepping their roles.  Lots of "We homeschool to avoid government oversight and control!  We don't want charter funds for school!  Stay out of our lives!" talk. 

But they'll happily, joyfully take the government and school sponsored free breakfast and lunch because they are cheap and lazy, and no one will ask them for id or proof of income, so they can fly under the radar and get free meals with zero accountability. 

Just to offer some perspective... I know the situation of which you are referring and have participated in the summer meal programs along with the majority of my home schooling friends (when our dc were all young). We didn't go because we were cheap or lazy. We went because the program was there whether we showed up or not yet our attendance meant better numbers and continued funding for the program. The staff loved having the home school families come in because we/our children interacted with those serving. A few ladies became dear friends over the years and our children still speak of those summers fondly. The schools also brought in activities for the kids to do: hula hoops, balls, drawing materials, etc. Optometrists and ENT staff brought in equipment so kids can get tested. It was a time for fellowship, learning, and relaxing. We had no problem making meals for our kids at home, but having the chance to hang out with friends in an environment that was welcoming was very, very nice.

As for the declaration that taking part in the meal program can be chalked up to being cheap, I confess that riles me a bit. We ask nothing from anyone. We do not have anything paid for us (and yes, we would qualify for some things. NOT saying that using government aid is wrong...oy, don't get me wrong! But this is a decision we made for our own reasons...). I even offer co-op classes in our home and do not charge a dime. Many of the families who attended the summer meal program were the same way. I can state for not just myself but for the friends who also took their children that we were deeply appreciative of the not asked for, not demanded gift of the meals. My intention was never to be hypocritical by participating with my children.

It's 4:30am and I'm running on empty due to a fussy little one so maybe I didn't make a lot of sense. But those two words (cheap, lazy)...even this fatigued mind knows that is way off (for us/our friends).