tdbates78 Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 I'm sorry you have to cancel your vacation plans and it sounds like you made the right decision. I only have my 9 year old twins, but it's been trial and error figuring out what everyone likes. We take a large vacation every year. Just got back from Italy a few weeks ago. My girls loved Rome. liked Venice okay but found the hill towns in Umbria boring. As annoying as that was, I think my 9 year old self would have thought the same. We, as a family, did not like Disney and are not beach people so it is helpful that we have more similar interests. If Colorado was still an option I would have thrown out the suggestion of something like Keystone or another resort where there are plenty of activities for young children (and childcare and day camps) and plenty of hiking, fishing and scenery for your oldest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted May 30, 2019 Author Share Posted May 30, 2019 3 hours ago, tdbates78 said: I'm sorry you have to cancel your vacation plans and it sounds like you made the right decision. I only have my 9 year old twins, but it's been trial and error figuring out what everyone likes. We take a large vacation every year. Just got back from Italy a few weeks ago. My girls loved Rome. liked Venice okay but found the hill towns in Umbria boring. As annoying as that was, I think my 9 year old self would have thought the same. We, as a family, did not like Disney and are not beach people so it is helpful that we have more similar interests. If Colorado was still an option I would have thrown out the suggestion of something like Keystone or another resort where there are plenty of activities for young children (and childcare and day camps) and plenty of hiking, fishing and scenery for your oldest. Europe is in my wish list! 6 people makes it really hard though, as hotel rooms are so small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 13 minutes ago, Shellydon said: Europe is in my wish list! 6 people makes it really hard though, as hotel rooms are so small. I think @Quill went on her own (well, to meet her DD who was studying overseas). She might have tips if your family isn't interested in going. We went as a family when I was 17. We were a family of four, plus my grandparents, so we often rented more than one hotel room or the top floor of a house, and with airbnb I think finding suitable accommodations is much easier than it used to be. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 1 hour ago, EmseB said: I think @Quill went on her own (well, to meet her DD who was studying overseas). She might have tips if your family isn't interested in going. We went as a family when I was 17. We were a family of four, plus my grandparents, so we often rented more than one hotel room or the top floor of a house, and with airbnb I think finding suitable accommodations is much easier than it used to be. Yes, I was solo except for whenever dd was available to play with me. I have debated with myself whether I will go back solo when dd teaches in France next school year. Dh will not go. He has no interest in traveling outside the US. A couple of my SILs have expressed an interest, and two friends would like to go, though one of the two can afford it better. I do find it hard to work with what travel companions want to do, though. Of my SILs, one is very oriented to beaches and relaxing, or shopping. Nothing wrong with that of course, but it’s not what I prioritize. I think it’s difficult to find a travel companion. Dd is optimal because we like similar things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 I don’t think it’s an American thing. The vast majority of Americans rarely go on a vacation and most sure aren’t able to afford WDW. Most take weekend trips or staycations. My family has had a handful of 4 day weekend road trips together but Branson is a rarely entire family thing. And now the kids are older, 2-3 may not make it at all or only for 2-3 of the 7 days. Which I’m glad to have at all but it’s a sad change of life thing. Growing up dh and I were only kids but very different vacation childhoods. I was dragged everywhere my dad went. Every dadblum boring as heck civil war site below the mason Dixon every summer and every spring break. And every weekend was spent on his boats. Which sounds bucolic but was mind numbing boring bc my dad wouldn’t let me do anything in the water because he couldn’t swim. So I traveled fairly well and often comparatively. Dh’s parents traveled the world but never took him anywhere. They left him with her parents. So he spent a lot of time at old folks camp grounds. Dh sneezes if he looks out a window. But the people made it a wonderful memory anyways for him. Of my friends only a few go on week long vacations. Some go camping. Some take a weekend trip every few years. Most don’t do vacations at all. Regardless of income. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdbates78 Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 (edited) 20 hours ago, Shellydon said: Europe is in my wish list! 6 people makes it really hard though, as hotel rooms are so small. It's difficult even with a family of 4 to find hotel rooms large enough to accommodate us. In Venice that involved squeezing two extra twin beds along the walls in our hotel room to make a "quadruple room". So we usually use airbnb or VRBO to find apartments if we are staying for 3 or more days. This was our second trip to Europe as a family (a few years ago we did Switzerland, the Alsace-Lorraine, Paris and Bavaria) and rented two-bedroom apartments in every location except Paris, which was a one-nighter. As a bonus the apartments are usually cheaper than hotels and come with kitchens. Our two bedroom apartment in Ribeauville, in the Alsace in France, was less than 100 euro a night. as an example https://www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/13164170?guests=1&adults=1&sl_alternate_dates_exclusion=true&source_impression_id=p3_1559310733_0BPgxcyeb6hwosDv Edited May 31, 2019 by tdbates78 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 re size of European hotel rooms 21 hours ago, Shellydon said: Europe is in my wish list! 6 people makes it really hard though, as hotel rooms are so small. 1 hour ago, tdbates78 said: It's difficult even with a family of 4 to find hotel rooms large enough to accommodate us. In Venice that involved squeezing two extra twin beds along the walls in our hotel room to make a "quadruple room". So we usually use airbnb or VRBO to find apartments if we are staying for 3 or more days. This was our second trip to Europe as a family (a few years ago we did Switzerland, the Alsace-Lorraine, Paris and Bavaria) and rented two-bedroom apartments in every location except Paris, which was a one-nighter. As a bonus the apartments are usually cheaper than hotels and come with kitchens. Our two bedroom apartment in Ribeauville, in the Alsace in France, was less than 100 euro a night. as an example https://www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/13164170?guests=1&adults=1&sl_alternate_dates_exclusion=true&source_impression_id=p3_1559310733_0BPgxcyeb6hwosDv Yes, there are 5 of us and we've definitely found that it's substantially cheaper to get an apartment. With airbnb / homeaway / tripadvisor and all the other services it's quite easy to find something even for 2-3 nights, and with a quick stop to the local market we can provision for breakfast at least (which also finesses the adjustment-to-jet-lag, since people can arise at different times). It also gives a living room/hangout space, which is nice, and if you're lucky a terrace or access to a courtyard. (It's worth investing some planning time in understanding neighborhoods to ensure you're where you want to be... and worth paying a bit more per night to be in a place where folks can walk to things / split up when we're inclined to do so.) re broader question of "finding something that all the people actually like" - I guess I'm a little thrown by holding that out as an objective. I certainly don't hold that kind of all-in enthusiasm for our ordinary life. I don't expect ALL the people in the family to love EVERY meal I prepare -- sometimes it's T's favorite and J only tolerates it, sometimes it's J's favorite and S who is vegetarian only eats the side dishes... sometimes we head out to the latest Marvel movie because that's S's passion, other times to a baseball game which is not especially my thing but my husband enjoys, other times we go to a poetry slam because that's E's thing. On vacation, sometimes everyone else sort of condescends to go on a NPS ranger hike because I adore NPS ranger hikes, other times we charter a boat because my husband is most happy on a boat, sometimes we concentrate on museums (S) and outdoor cafes (E), KWIM? Not everyone *does* actually adore everything we do as a family but we take turns. And it comes out in the wash because we're a family, in it for the long haul, and fortunately we get lots of opportunities to do lots of things so another opportunity is coming around. So I'd first ratify the several suggestions above to solicit and take specific input on specific activities that each family would like -- and then actually take that input seriously into the planning... ...but also, second, maybe step back a little from the idea that ALL the members need to actually like ALL the activities ALL the days together. That sets an extremely high bar for what a "successful" vacation looks like, unrealistically high IMO, bound to frustrate/ disappoint/ breed resentment. People have difference interests and preferences. Learning flexibility and give-and-take in honor of one another's preferences is another form of success. 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 On 5/30/2019 at 12:28 AM, Shellydon said: I grew up raising horses, sheep etc. We only went on one vacation as a family. I really feel like I missed out by not seeing more of the world, so DH and I have made a big effort to put time and money into traveling. The kids have been to dozens states and had lots of experiences that I wished I had been able to have growing up. My oldest will graduate in a year and maybe they will be more agreeable to travel again. Or maybe not. We may have hit a stage where the complaining is too much and we take a break. It sounds to me like your kids have just taken travel for granted because it was a normal thing for them. I don't necessarily think it's a negative entitlement attitude; vacations are just not special. And, with kids growing up and having different interests, it's sure to become harder. I do remember a point where my brother refused to go on our family's yearly camping vacations. (He is 10 years older than me.) Camping was all we did, every summer, and I loved it but we stopped when I was about 9 so I didn't have a chance to get tired of it. My brother did get sick of it; it wasn't enjoyable to him. My sister was probably on the verge and would have stopped going if we hadn't stopped anyway. (We stopped when we made a huge move for my dad's work and everything just changed.) My own kids grew up with the notion that Embassy Suite-type hotels were the normal, standard hotels where everyone stayed. Because when they were little, almost all our hotel stays corresponded with my husband's work; we'd tag along and stay where he stayed. When he no longer had that job and we were paying for our own accommodations... well, it was a quite a shock to them. It wasn't an entitlement issue; they just didn't know anything different. I hope you find peace and enjoyment whatever you end up doing. It's probably good to take a break from family vacations for a while. I suspect that at some point your kids will come to appreciate all that they have seen and done. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted May 31, 2019 Author Share Posted May 31, 2019 29 minutes ago, marbel said: It sounds to me like your kids have just taken travel for granted because it was a normal thing for them. I don't necessarily think it's a negative entitlement attitude; vacations are just not special. And, with kids growing up and having different interests, it's sure to become harder. I do remember a point where my brother refused to go on our family's yearly camping vacations. (He is 10 years older than me.) Camping was all we did, every summer, and I loved it but we stopped when I was about 9 so I didn't have a chance to get tired of it. My brother did get sick of it; it wasn't enjoyable to him. My sister was probably on the verge and would have stopped going if we hadn't stopped anyway. (We stopped when we made a huge move for my dad's work and everything just changed.) My own kids grew up with the notion that Embassy Suite-type hotels were the normal, standard hotels where everyone stayed. Because when they were little, almost all our hotel stays corresponded with my husband's work; we'd tag along and stay where he stayed. When he no longer had that job and we were paying for our own accommodations... well, it was a quite a shock to them. It wasn't an entitlement issue; they just didn't know anything different. I hope you find peace and enjoyment whatever you end up doing. It's probably good to take a break from family vacations for a while. I suspect that at some point your kids will come to appreciate all that they have seen and done. Wise words, thank you. Yes, we always stay at good quality hotels because we travel with DH for work. That is just what they are used too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 It may not be that your kids take travel for granted. Some people just don’t like to travel. I’ve got a couple kids that I can’t get excited about going anywhere, like their father. No matter how we get there or what type of fun awaits. They stress over new things and big changes. But I have raised them to accept this is just part of the loving others and not being selfish life. I’ll try to not make it any more stressful than absolutely unavoidable. We’ll have a mix of things and planned down times so everyone can enjoy the majority of the trip, and relax for all of it. This is the compromise people make to bond and get to know how to share our lives together. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 7 hours ago, Murphy101 said: It may not be that your kids take travel for granted. Some people just don’t like to travel. I’ve got a couple kids that I can’t get excited about going anywhere, like their father. No matter how we get there or what type of fun awaits. They stress over new things and big changes. But I have raised them to accept this is just part of the loving others and not being selfish life. I’ll try to not make it any more stressful than absolutely unavoidable. We’ll have a mix of things and planned down times so everyone can enjoy the majority of the trip, and relax for all of it. This is the compromise people make to bond and get to know how to share our lives together. Yes! I have one who gets homesick pretty easily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 (edited) On 5/30/2019 at 11:57 AM, Shellydon said: Europe is in my wish list! 6 people makes it really hard though, as hotel rooms are so small. On 5/30/2019 at 12:18 PM, EmseB said: I think @Quill went on her own (well, to meet her DD who was studying overseas). She might have tips if your family isn't interested in going. We went as a family when I was 17. We were a family of four, plus my grandparents, so we often rented more than one hotel room or the top floor of a house, and with airbnb I think finding suitable accommodations is much easier than it used to be. Dittoing this, dh and I just back from Europe for our 20th and stayed at Airbnb's they were great, we didn't need it this trip but there are apartments big enough for families. We plan on taking the whole crew in 3 yrs. For our family vaca we're doing a long weekend up to the city this year for the whole family as our anniversary trip was a lot of our budget. I asked the kids what things they wanted to do and pretty much everything they wanted was in the closest city(except the beach b/c we're in the midwest), so we'll just alternate the different things and call that good for our family vaca this year. They wanted to do rock climbing, zoo, indoor playplace, obstacle course/ninja gym and some good food (we rarely eat out at home so they love eating out on vaca- we mostly do our own meals but eat out once a day or so). Next year we're going to do a beach trip b/c everyone loves that and we can afford to spend more on the family trip without our big anniversary trip. It is a stress planning a trip, I'd cancel vaca too if everyone was then complaining about it, hopefully by next year everyone can come together and figure out some things that will work for all involved. eta: as a kid growing up all our vacations were camping by dad's relatives or rarely going to the river. Dh's family had more money and did some bigger trips but nothing like what is done today, I think our expectations have just changed as a culture. We're trying to strike a middle ground, enjoy things close by and some experiences further away as we can afford it. Edited June 5, 2019 by soror Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 (edited) On 5/30/2019 at 11:57 AM, Shellydon said: Europe is in my wish list! 6 people makes it really hard though, as hotel rooms are so small. We have taken our group of 7 to Europe multiple times and yes it is harder than in the States with hotel rooms. But honestly we did find a lot of trip and quad hotel rooms in every country we have been in. Some more. But if we are staying for few days we usually do go the Airbnb route. Super easy to do that for a group your size. Don't let the size of your group get in your way. Here are some crazy low prices to Europe too https://thepointsguy.com/deals/level-sale-fly-to-europe-162-round-trip/ Edited June 5, 2019 by mommyoffive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 (edited) On 5/31/2019 at 10:35 AM, marbel said: My own kids grew up with the notion that Embassy Suite-type hotels were the normal, standard hotels where everyone stayed. Because when they were little, almost all our hotel stays corresponded with my husband's work; we'd tag along and stay where he stayed. When he no longer had that job and we were paying for our own accommodations... well, it was a quite a shock to them. It wasn't an entitlement issue; they just didn't know anything different. . Exactly, they just thought that's what hotels were like! I have a funny story somewhat in reverse: when my inlaws wanted to take their grown children/spouses on a vacation, she told me that they had gone on family vacations when the kids were growing up but that it would be nice to take them somewhere that wasn't, y'know, a Hilton. I about died laughing, because my family would have (mostly still does) regard Hilton as a fancy hotel. My dad had a work convention at Disney World in their early years, and I'm sure that was a very nice hotel, but when we did AstroWorld and other stuff on our own we stayed in motels, with half of us on the floor. Not to mention her son and I honeymooned at a Days Inn, so it was just very funny to me. Poor kids, staying at Hiltons! It's all what you're used to. Free advice: never let people take you on vacations 🙄 Edited June 5, 2019 by katilac 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted June 6, 2019 Author Share Posted June 6, 2019 2 hours ago, katilac said: Free advice: never let people take you on vacations 🙄 LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted June 6, 2019 Author Share Posted June 6, 2019 5 hours ago, mommyoffive said: We have taken our group of 7 to Europe multiple times and yes it is harder than in the States with hotel rooms. But honestly we did find a lot of trip and quad hotel rooms in every country we have been in. Some more. But if we are staying for few days we usually do go the Airbnb route. Super easy to do that for a group your size. Don't let the size of your group get in your way. Here are some crazy low prices to Europe too https://thepointsguy.com/deals/level-sale-fly-to-europe-162-round-trip/ Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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