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Planning a vacation that all the people actually like


Shellydon
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For our family, the only vacation that everyone has actually liked is WDW.  Other vacations 'boring' and involve too much fighting among the participants.  My eldest  (17) would like to take a wildlife viewing trip to NM and CO this summer.  My other 3 (15, 12, 10)  might actually die if they have to spend hours upon hours each day looking at scenery.  I would rather stay at home and never go on vacation and than have to plan then deal with this whole fiasco.  So..... How do *you* plan a vacation with plenty for everyone to do and enjoy?  Just booking a place to stay and showing up does not work for my family. 

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I just keep looking to find other things to do in the area.

Our last trip to Savannah and Tybee (we have been several times and so the word "boring" comes up.......I booked two boat tours, a river boat tour with a luncheon, and a dolphin watching tour.  And we climbed the lighthouse, which I had done before but they hadn't.

Is there any river-rafting?  Lake/jet-skis?  Caves to explore????  

Edited by DawnM
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If the 17yo wants to do something that everyone else would hate, save that for a senior trip with Mom/Dad.

I agree with Dawn  - find a place where there's a variety of things to do.  

Also, enlist the rest of the family in planning.  Everybody list 3 things they'd like, in order.  See where (if?) there's any overlap.  If they have some ownership  they will (hopefully!) be more invested and less likely to complain.

 

Anne

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Our successful vacations have centered on one thing we all like, with time/opportunity to split up some.   Now, I only have two kids, close in age, so it's probably easier for me than for families with a big spread.

Like, when we went to Gettysburg, we all wanted to do the auto tour.  My daughter wasn't as into the visitor's center as my son, so she and I walked around outside more while husband and son looked at every exhibit in the building. Another day, the guys stayed in the hotel resting/reading while she and I walked to the downtown area and checked out the cute shops. 

In WA DC, we all walked the mall and saw all the monuments, then split up to different Smithsonian museums. 

In Staunton VA, we all see a play or two, but my husband and son spend more time resting/reading in the hotel while my daughter and I walk around the town and look into the cute shops.

You can see the theme there. I could skip the cute shops, so I end up compromising quite a bit, but we still have a good time.

We always try to find a place to hike/explore.   ETA: Anne's post reminded me:  we look up the place we're going and everyone finds something they want to do. This was particularly important in DC, but really works anywhere.  Most of the time we can find some common interests. 

Like I said though, easy with 2 kids and 2 parents, divide and conquer.

Edited by marbel
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We went to WDW for many years because all of us enjoyed it in one way or another. One thing we all enjoyed about WDW the most were the restaurants. We always stayed on-site and had the dining plan and had fun trying different places. In that same vein, I have also successfully planned trips to Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Lancaster and NYC where there was lots of good food and lots of variety in activities so that there was something for everyone. When we went to Pittsburgh, we went to a really cool hands-on science museum, did a walking tour of the city, went to an art museum, kayaked on the river, looked in the shops, saw historical sites, and ate a nice meal at least once a day — we really enjoyed The Melting Pot for fondue.

I try to give my teens a voice in the plans. I make a list of all the activities for the area that I can think of and ask them what they would like to do and make sure we do those things, That helps get buy-in from them on the vacation. My ds can’t stand it when I plan the whole vacation (even though he always wants to go and it is pulling teeth to get him to help me plan!) because it infringes on his feelings of independence and I find compiling a list and then asking for his input *helps* things run more smoothly. Next time, I plan to write a list of activities everyone wants to do and then have us all come up with a plan for the following day each evening so that everyone feels like they have a say in our daily plans. Last time, I got input for the activities but then *foolishly* scheduled them myself and my schedule was then met with resistance, so I am going to try to get input on that as well next time. We still had fun, but there was room for improvement. Maybe I’ll perfect my system by the time my ds is 21, lol.

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17 minutes ago, marbel said:

Our successful vacations have centered on one thing we all like, with time/opportunity to split up some.   Now, I only have two kids, close in age, so it's probably easier for me than for families with a big spread.

Like, when we went to Gettysburg, we all wanted to do the auto tour.  My daughter wasn't as into the visitor's center as my son, so she and I walked around outside more while husband and son looked at every exhibit in the building. Another day, the guys stayed in the hotel resting/reading while she and I walked to the downtown area and checked out the cute shops. 

In WA DC, we all walked the mall and saw all the monuments, then split up to different Smithsonian museums. 

In Staunton VA, we all see a play or two, but my husband and son spend more time resting/reading in the hotel while my daughter and I walk around the town and look into the cute shops.

You can see the theme there. I could skip the cute shops, so I end up compromising quite a bit, but we still have a good time.

We always try to find a place to hike/explore.   ETA: Anne's post reminded me:  we look up the place we're going and everyone finds something they want to do. This was particularly important in DC, but really works anywhere.  Most of the time we can find some common interests. 

Like I said though, easy with 2 kids and 2 parents, divide and conquer.

Very wise — divide and conquer!  I am going to try this more on our next trip!

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53 minutes ago, Shellydon said:

For our family, the only vacation that everyone has actually liked is WDW.  Other vacations 'boring' and involve too much fighting among the participants.  My eldest  (17) would like to take a wildlife viewing trip to NM and CO this summer.  My other 3 (15, 12, 10)  might actually die if they have to spend hours upon hours each day looking at scenery.  I would rather stay at home and never go on vacation and than have to plan then deal with this whole fiasco.  So..... How do *you* plan a vacation with plenty for everyone to do and enjoy?  Just booking a place to stay and showing up does not work for my family. 

You could stay in downtown Denver and enjoy some of the things the city has to offer and then travel to some of the sites your daughter wants to see.  Also maybe split up on some days like Mabel suggested. It is a lot of work to plan a trip that everyone will enjoy, though. Maybe just go back to Disney if that worked for you before?

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If you like hiking, the Albuquerque area has some neat history that you can see on hikes that aren't terribly difficult (when we lived there, we enjoyed Bandelier, El Morro, El Malpais, Jemez, and Sandia Peak - you can hike the whole thing or take the tram up).  This might give the 'not looking at scenery' people something to do.  There are also several museums (hands-on science, art, natural history, the atomic museum has military history, a hot air balloon museums) and a minor league baseball team if y'all like that sort of thing.  If you went south to White Sands or Carlsbad there is interesting stuff even if you're not looking at animals.  🙂  In our area (east TN) I'd recommend a cabin where you could alternate between outside things (hiking, tubing, playing in water, etc) with touristy stuff like Dollywood, go-karts, Ripley's aquarium, or a minor league baseball game.  If it's not summer, both places have colleges where you could watch assorted sports (or, for that matter, do a walking tour of the college).  

We have similar challenges in our family - only 2 kids, but one loves 'learning' trips with museums or national parks, with a ball game for fun, while the other likes rides, shows, shopping and other 'fun touristy' things.  We usually try to plan days that alternate activities.  

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We all like Disney World so . . . we go to Disney World a lot, lol. 

I agree that the wildlife viewing sounds like a great senior trip. Would each kid getting to plan a special trip with parents be a possibility? Do the occasional Disney World as you can with simpler stuff in between so you can save for those. By 'simpler,' I mean just a hotel with pool for weekend and one or two meals out - most kids and teens like that. If there's something cheap and local to the hotel, whoever is interested can go. We really like Drury Inns for this purpose because they are fairly reasonable but still pretty nice, they usually have an indoor pool, and they have both a pretty good free breakfast and an evening snack thing (hot dogs, nachos, salad, tortillas). 

If the senior trip thing isn't a good idea for whatever reason, just do what works. Go to Disney if you enjoy Disney. Chill at a hotel if you enjoy that. Stay home if it's too much of a hassle. 

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Unfortunately, a senior trip isn't possible.   DH has super limited time off from work, so he can't be home with the youngers while I take the older some where (or vice versa, can't take the older while I stay home). We have zero family support, so either DH or I have to be with the kids 100% of the time.  Most of the kids want something  scheduled all the time while on vacation, and it has to be something super interesting or fun (e.g., not looking at scenery or hiking.) Swimming with water slides, rides, fishing, horseback riding etc. make the cut.  Anything loud like concerts are no-go for all of them.  Hanging out without a plan equals complaining and crying.  My kids entertain themselves beautifully at home, but cannot do that on vacation.   We can definitely split  up, but I then I have to find activities for both groups.  Which is fine, just more work.  It seems like many vacation planning websites for cities say things like "tour downtown and look at the cute little shops."  While I would like that, my kids and DH would revolt.  They want to go, go, go doing specific activities.  I took the kids to San Antonio to see the Alamo in January -- we were there 10 minutes before 3 asked me when we could leave.  Erg. I hate vacation.  

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40 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

A suggestion for the CO trip: Crested Butte. Wildlife, mountain biking, hiking, rafting, Black Canyon of the Gunnison, Morrow Point Boat Tour, horseback riding. Plan it in July and come to the Cattlemen's Days Rodeo. 

I am looking at this.  I just don't think there is enough to do for my youngers that won't like hiking or rafting.  I just found the YMCA of the Rockies, which might work. 

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Your kids, even the 10-yr-old, are old enough to take the lead on exploring some of these possibilities. They can make a list of possible locations; once some of them are pre-approved, they can make a list of possible activities with pertinent details (times, cost, etc). There is no reason you have to do all the planning! 

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Our tricks include finding a site that offers more right there.  We went camping last summer and stayed at a place with a playground, pool, and on the inlet to go kayaking.  We alternated days hiking out in the state park and going down to the town.  I packed games for downtime (and there was plenty, since no internet was available for several miles) and I made sure everyone had a new book.  Each person got a task they were responsible for, too: starting the fire, cooking, looking through the brochures to set up an itinerary for the next day..

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My friends did a week in Calaway Gardens. They had a blast. There are lots of summer options for the kids. I have not been, but she talks about it every year. 

A cruise is easy 

My kids love a busy city. We thought LA would be great so they could surf and sightsee - it was too cold last week to go to the beach. We have loved DC, Chicago, and New York as well as cities in Europe. My favorite trips was to Alaska. We also love Disney. It is easy and there is something for everyone. 

What is your budget and where do you live? 

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42 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Cruise. 

I would do this, but DH will not.  I would love just to sit and read and let the kids find activities, but DH would be bored to tears.  We have been to the movies 4 times in 30 years.  DH does not do sitting.  I might be able to take 4 kids and leave DH at home.

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8 minutes ago, lmrich said:

My friends did a week in Calaway Gardens. They had a blast. There are lots of summer options for the kids. I have not been, but she talks about it every year. 

A cruise is easy 

My kids love a busy city. We thought LA would be great so they could surf and sightsee - it was too cold last week to go to the beach. We have loved DC, Chicago, and New York as well as cities in Europe. My favorite trips was to Alaska. We also love Disney. It is easy and there is something for everyone. 

What is your budget and where do you live? 

My children dislike cities. We did one day in Boston a couple of years ago and they do not recall it fondly.  I think they'd like DC because it has different things so everyone could pick something. I'd love to do Alaska!  I'll look at Calaway Gardens.  I haven't heard of it.  We are in the southwest, and would drive to CO (10-15 hours, depending on were we go).

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53 minutes ago, katilac said:

Your kids, even the 10-yr-old, are old enough to take the lead on exploring some of these possibilities. They can make a list of possible locations; once some of them are pre-approved, they can make a list of possible activities with pertinent details (times, cost, etc). There is no reason you have to do all the planning! 

I am trying, not much luck.  All but one would rather just stay home that have to figure all this out.  Which, honestly, we may just do.  We had wanted to try Yellowstone, but it was crazy expensive for a family of 6, so we dropped it.  I thought CO might be a good alternative, but the stress of planning it may make me just give up. 

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6 hours ago, Shellydon said:

For our family, the only vacation that everyone has actually liked is WDW.  Other vacations 'boring' and involve too much fighting among the participants.  My eldest  (17) would like to take a wildlife viewing trip to NM and CO this summer.  My other 3 (15, 12, 10)  might actually die if they have to spend hours upon hours each day looking at scenery.  I would rather stay at home and never go on vacation and than have to plan then deal with this whole fiasco.  So..... How do *you* plan a vacation with plenty for everyone to do and enjoy?  Just booking a place to stay and showing up does not work for my family. 

I wrote about a large family and several trips that might appeal to many ages.

I hope one or two sound good.

Alley

Edited by Alicia64
punctuation!!
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On the list above, the Smokies was there and that was one that occurred to me. Rental houses are cheap. Obviously tons of hiking and wildlife, but also amusement parks and rafting and swimming and ziplining and absurd dinner theaters. Very plannable with something for everyone. You'd be able to intersperse some hiking in there with more touristy fun things for the younger kids. We had a good time there a few years ago.

Our other really great vacation that everyone loved here was Mexico. We flew to Cancun, rented a car. We stayed in Tulum, which was great, though I hear it's not as great now, though really anywhere along the coast is going to be beach and fun. There are tons of experience type things - tons of amusement park type things - like ecoparks with tons to do, but also wildlife and so forth. Plus, Mayan ruins. If you're on the east coast, the flights are often really cheap, so it's not a crazy cost. It was cheaper than our WDW trip.

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Places like Branson MO, Gatlinburg TN, etc might work.  At places like that I let each child pick out a "must do" and then we fill in from there.   Both of these locals have nice hiking, water stuff, etc along with the tourist trap stuff, etc.

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4 hours ago, Shellydon said:

I would do this, but DH will not.  I would love just to sit and read and let the kids find activities, but DH would be bored to tears.  We have been to the movies 4 times in 30 years.  DH does not do sitting.  I might be able to take 4 kids and leave DH at home.

You might find it's actually just the opposite. You'd have to pick the *right* cruise, but basically there's SO much to do that everyone can keep busy. We literally came back and slept for DAYS because we were so exhausted, lol. The ship itself is huge, so there's tons of walking. Ropes courses, slides, and some fancier ships have rock climbing walls, ice skating, bowling, just tons of stuff. Basically as long as you minimize sea days you'd be fine. Your port days can be as much exertion as  you want them to be. We did a lot of snorkeling and hiked some huge ruins in Belize.

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8 hours ago, Shellydon said:

For our family, the only vacation that everyone has actually liked is WDW.  Other vacations 'boring' and involve too much fighting among the participants.  My eldest  (17) would like to take a wildlife viewing trip to NM and CO this summer.  My other 3 (15, 12, 10)  might actually die if they have to spend hours upon hours each day looking at scenery.  I would rather stay at home and never go on vacation and than have to plan then deal with this whole fiasco.  So..... How do *you* plan a vacation with plenty for everyone to do and enjoy?  Just booking a place to stay and showing up does not work for my family. 

 

We are going to Branson to meet everyone’s fun favs. Great outdoors, shows of all kinds, food of all kinds, amusement park (Silver Dollar City), cheaper-than-a-hotel condo that’s nicer than home with lots of amenities. 

We will spend 2 days at SDC, which has lots of stuff for those who don’t like rides. Shopping, shows, cave tours.

There are two lakes within 1.5 hour drive. We are going scuba diving and snorkeling at Bull Shoals for 2-3 days. A couple kids might get certified if they like the discover scuba lessons, everyone else can snorkel or enjoy the beach.  Dh is going zip lining through the ozarks with a couple while the rest of us are on the water. You can rent boats and go have fun too. But the beaches are god enough for us.  

There’s an excellent mini golf place that we all like. 

The fish hatchery and museum is interesting, quick or slow as you like, and free. I was rather astonished at how much my younger ones loved it. 

The music and fountain show at the plaza is lazy free entertainment.

2/3 meals at the condo and a list of menu variety friendly restaurants for the remaining 1/3.  Cracker Barrel is very has something for everyone and budget friendly. Seriously their steaks are great too. Who knew?  Take a few board games and movies for hanging out at the condo.

16 happy people. Even my husband, who is more difficult than all 11 of our kids and 4 others joining us.  There’s a reason I also go on a vacation without him now. After a quarter century I have finally accepted any fun he had traveling was wasted on work travel and he has none left for me. He doesn’t like anything I like and the things he likes make me wonder why I’d want to spend good money wishing I was doing something else.  Dh would be thrilled to just sit and do nothing. I can’t do that for longer than *maybe* 30 minutes and usually I’m knitting or planning or something for that still 30 minutes. And I do not want everyone to go their separate ways. It’s supposed to be a family vacation.

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After reading this entire thread, if I were the OP I'd be tempted to book the vacation I want, go by myself, and tell all the complainers to stay at home and complain about me while I was gone.

Only sort of joking.

I love planning family vacations and I just now realized it's maybe largely because everyone goes with the flow and doesn't complain. I get DH's input and try to pick things people will like, but geez louise I would pull my hair out with the OP's parameters.

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4 hours ago, Shellydon said:

I am trying, not much luck.  All but one would rather just stay home that have to figure all this out.  Which, honestly, we may just do.  We had wanted to try Yellowstone, but it was crazy expensive for a family of 6, so we dropped it.  I thought CO might be a good alternative, but the stress of planning it may make me just give up. 

What kind of city do you live in? Is a staycation an option? 

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I always find these thread strange.  Growing up we had two holidays each year - 1/ we stayed with our step grandparents and usually got to go to the zoo once.  2/ we want camping.  It never occurred to me there were other options though I made my dislike of  cold showers and sandflies known at times. Just organise a holiday and tell them to keep any negative feelings to themselves?

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We’ve often split up when we’re traveling, based on what different people want to do.  We had a long layover in Paris in the middle of an international move and I took one son to explore the oldest parts of Paris while dh took another son to Disneyland. All four of us were happy (even though dh thought it was tacky that we didn’t all do something together). Once we flew my oldest ds to visit grandparents for a week rather than making him come on a trip we knew he’d hate, but that the rest of us, especially another son, wanted to do. In this case, I’d go to a place with great wildlife viewing and other fun things to do and plan to spend most of my time with the child who wants to see wildlife, and let the rest of the family do their own thing most of the time.  We could plan a few activities together that everyone wanted to do.  If dh didn’t have time or didn’t want to plan activities ahead of time for himself and the younger children, they could do it after arrival if they’re bored.  

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I was coming to suggest YMCA of the Rockies. Affordable lodging options, tons to do .... crafts, games, horseback riding, mini golf (be careful theres elk poop on the mini golf course... because the elk are EVERYWHERE, we literally had a bull on our cabin porch once) . It's a pretty great spot. 

Another option that might appeal would be Glenwood Springs, CO - hot springs pools, a small amusement park, caves, nearby horseback riding or atv/utv options.

Branson is a fun suggestion. 

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We don’t vacation all that much, so I’m no expert, but I do have a wide age range of kids, and we sometimes vacation with extended family, so there’s an even wider range of interests overall. I absolutely stand by dividing and conquering!

I’m also not above bribery. I’ll drag the younger, less interested kids to something when it makes the most sense, and let them know exactly what “reward” they’ll get afterward for being good sports.

Personally, I’m a big fan of sitting on my butt on vacation, with plenty of food around me. Which is probably why I like vacationing with my mom so much, lol. Don’t get me wrong, I help her. But splitting the load with her, my sisters, and my sister in law is still way easier than normal cooking and cleaning for just my own family! That’s kind of *my reward after going out and doing things the kids want to, lol.

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20 hours ago, Shellydon said:

So..... How do *you* plan a vacation with plenty for everyone to do and enjoy? 

I don’t!  We don’t do vacations of the traditional sort.  It used to be because we couldn’t afford to, but now it’s because it is ten times the work for me and nobody seems to enjoy it or appreciate it enough for it to feel worth it.  We do staycations.  We do day trips up to 2 hours in any direction and find something fun everyone will enjoy, or leave the elder kids home alone if they don’t want to go.  We do plan to take each kid on a senior trip with just mom and dad, but we have family and friends nearby who can watch the other two to make that possible.

Honestly, my ideal vacation would be my entire family leaving on their own vacation for a week while I stayed home.  😂

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For our family, we've been doing the Family Camp thing with some success.  Years ago when the kids were  younger, we  had access to a beach house and that's where we'd vacation. But it was never a vacation for me because I still had to cook and clean up. The kids were too young to walk to the beach by themselves and we spent a lot of time trying to figure out activities that the whole family enjoys. The owners sold it about 6 years ago and we've started going to Family Camp.  We've been going to one for 5 years now over Memorial Day weekend.  We just got back. It's a Christian camp, about 1 1/2 hour drive from us. There's something for everyone.... craft room, boats, ropes course and zipline, gym, hiking. They have planned activities, or you can just read or walk around or do nothing.  The accomodations are nice, food is good, and I have to do nothing but pack my bags.  The camp is small enough and my kids are old enough that they just run around all day, make friends and I don't see them except for mealtimes.  They have chapel twice a day with a great, family friendly speaker.   The whole weekend has been great and everyone enjoys it.

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16 minutes ago, sassenach said:

The beach seems to please everyone. We always book beachfront so people can come and go as they please. 

 

I'm on team beach too. Cape Cod has a lot of different things for everyone. Whale watching, lots of little towns to explore, and it's beautiful. 

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7 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

We don’t vacation all that much, so I’m no expert, but I do have a wide age range of kids, and we sometimes vacation with extended family, so there’s an even wider range of interests overall. I absolutely stand by dividing and conquering!

I’m also not above bribery. I’ll drag the younger, less interested kids to something when it makes the most sense, and let them know exactly what “reward” they’ll get afterward for being good sports.

Personally, I’m a big fan of sitting on my butt on vacation, with plenty of food around me. Which is probably why I like vacationing with my mom so much, lol. Don’t get me wrong, I help her. But splitting the load with her, my sisters, and my sister in law is still way easier than normal cooking and cleaning for just my own family! That’s kind of *my reward after going out and doing things the kids want to, lol.

I am a fan of sitting too.  For me, vacation means rest.  No one else in my family holds to this and they all want to crams as much activity as possible into each day. 

2 hours ago, *Jessica* said:

I don’t!  We don’t do vacations of the traditional sort.  It used to be because we couldn’t afford to, but now it’s because it is ten times the work for me and nobody seems to enjoy it or appreciate it enough for it to feel worth it.  We do staycations.  We do day trips up to 2 hours in any direction and find something fun everyone will enjoy, or leave the elder kids home alone if they don’t want to go.  We do plan to take each kid on a senior trip with just mom and dad, but we have family and friends nearby who can watch the other two to make that possible.

Honestly, my ideal vacation would be my entire family leaving on their own vacation for a week while I stayed home.  😂

I would love to stay home and send all the rest away.

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As a quick update-- I give up.  🙂 We cancelled vacation for this summer. I just cannot deal with everyone being so unhappy with every decision and all the stress and pressure of planning the perfect vacation, so I quit.  We will stay home and do school.  Kicking around the idea of Disney in spring 2020, but not sure we can swing the price.

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Since everyone else makes vacation difficult, can you plan a day pr two get away jut for you?  I go to my moms  a few times a year and do something with just me and my sister I invite my daughter but she usually chooses to stay at my moms.   

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We try to very hard to have a healthy mix of each: nature days and amusement days. Nature days can include a short hike/nature walk, time at the beach, sledding, picnic in a fantastic park, etc. Amusement days can include amusement parks, movies, etc. There are active and restful versions in each category that should be conscientiously factored in too. Sometimes it has to be trading off nature vs. amusement each vacation due to constraints. Sometimes it means doing one type the first half of a day and the other type the second half of the day.

I don't think any individual should expect a family vacation to entirely cater to their preferences, but every individual's preferences should be incorporated proportionately.  It's just training for marriage,  parenting, church life, and the business world if you ask me.   That's how life is, you can't have it all your way, but you can have some of it your way sometimes, and when the kids or spouse start to complain about it I don't hesitate to tell them they need to work on their sucking it up and focusing on the team skills because everyone else did that last time we did what they wanted.

I absolutely loathe everything about amusement parks: sights, sounds, smells, thematic content, rides, crappy food;  but I can spend a couple of days doing it pleasantly for the sake of the group.  Likewise, I expect the people in my family who don't particularly like nature to be pleasant when we go to nature things.  This is a basic relationship skill I insist everyone in my family develop.

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7 hours ago, Shellydon said:

As a quick update-- I give up.  🙂 We cancelled vacation for this summer. I just cannot deal with everyone being so unhappy with every decision and all the stress and pressure of planning the perfect vacation, so I quit.  We will stay home and do school.  Kicking around the idea of Disney in spring 2020, but not sure we can swing the price.

 

Good. Now you can go on one by yourself. Seriously. GO. Smartest thing I ever did and I could kick myself for not doing it years before. Now it’s a yearly requirement if at all possible. 

Take a friend if you don’t want to go solo.  Or take the one kid that wants to do the same things as you. But GO. Life is too short to not make memories and have new experiences because of party poopers. 

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22 hours ago, kiwik said:

I always find these thread strange.  Growing up we had two holidays each year - 1/ we stayed with our step grandparents and usually got to go to the zoo once.  2/ we want camping.  It never occurred to me there were other options though I made my dislike of  cold showers and sandflies known at times. Just organise a holiday and tell them to keep any negative feelings to themselves?

I feel like it’s an American thing.

 

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14 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

We’re about to head away and I keep wondering why I’m not excited.

this is why.  Also I get to do it in a smaller space with no dishwasher and a 300m walk to the laundry.  Plus keep kids happy while we drive for hours and try to get someone to care for all the pets.

i know it will all be ok once we go.

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On 5/28/2019 at 5:26 PM, Shellydon said:

I am trying, not much luck.  All but one would rather just stay home that have to figure all this out.  

Staycation.  Go on day trips to things people like that are close by. 

On 5/28/2019 at 9:34 PM, PeterPan said:

You might find it's actually just the opposite. You'd have to pick the *right* cruise, but basically there's SO much to do that everyone can keep busy. We literally came back and slept for DAYS because we were so exhausted, lol. The ship itself is huge, so there's tons of walking. Ropes courses, slides, and some fancier ships have rock climbing walls, ice skating, bowling, just tons of stuff. Basically as long as you minimize sea days you'd be fine. Your port days can be as much exertion as  you want them to be. We did a lot of snorkeling and hiked some huge ruins in Belize.

A busy cruise sounds like it would fit the bill for everyone.

11 hours ago, Shellydon said:

As a quick update-- I give up.  🙂 We cancelled vacation for this summer. I just cannot deal with everyone being so unhappy with every decision and all the stress and pressure of planning the perfect vacation, so I quit.  We will stay home and do school.  Kicking around the idea of Disney in spring 2020, but not sure we can swing the price.

Ah—that’s what I would have done, too.  I’m through with trying to force my kids to do “fun” things that they don’t think are fun.  Not worth the effort. 

56 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I feel like it’s an American thing.

 

I don’t know.  I’m an American.  I only remember about 3 vacations from the time I was born until I moved out at 19.  And the only reason we had those vacations was because family from out of town came to visit and wanted to “do things”.  We went to Washington DC, Gettysburg, and some cabins in the Appalachians somewhere.  Every time someone would visit, it was the same thing: DC, Gettysburg, Appalachians.  My family didn’t do any vacations.  And we didn’t do staycations.  We just didn’t do anything!  I used to read a ton of books as a kid because there wasn’t much else to do (only child.)

We lived a 2-hour’s drive from Ocean City (a very, very popular beach in Maryland) but my parents never took me.  The first time I saw the ocean was when my dh found out I’d never seen it.  He picked himself up from off the floor and then drove me there the next weekend.  We drove there and back in one day.  My parents just weren’t into going anywhere.

Now that I’m the adult, we have very modest vacations.  The only “vacations” we have are to visit my parents every few years, who moved out west.  We will sometimes do a 2 night stay at the ocean.  And we do a number of day trips to things like the zoo or to a museum.

Edited by Garga
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10 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

We try to very hard to have a healthy mix of each: nature days and amusement days. Nature days can include a short hike/nature walk, time at the beach, sledding, picnic in a fantastic park, etc. Amusement days can include amusement parks, movies, etc. There are active and restful versions in each category that should be conscientiously factored in too. Sometimes it has to be trading off nature vs. amusement each vacation due to constraints. Sometimes it means doing one type the first half of a day and the other type the second half of the day.

I don't think any individual should expect a family vacation to entirely cater to their preferences, but every individual's preferences should be incorporated proportionately.  It's just training for marriage,  parenting, church life, and the business world if you ask me.   That's how life is, you can't have it all your way, but you can have some of it your way sometimes, and when the kids or spouse start to complain about it I don't hesitate to tell them they need to work on their sucking it up and focusing on the team skills because everyone else did that last time we did what they wanted.

I absolutely loathe everything about amusement parks: sights, sounds, smells, thematic content, rides, crappy food;  but I can spend a couple of days doing it pleasantly for the sake of the group.  Likewise, I expect the people in my family who don't particularly like nature to be pleasant when we go to nature things.  This is a basic relationship skill I insist everyone in my family develop.

I am going to make them do a couple of 2 days trips -- couple of days at the river, couple of days at the closest big observatory.  Might hit the beach for 2 days in September.  They will all put up with that.  I don't know if it is the long drives or what, but more than 2 days and everyone's 'get along' leaves.  I am a go with the flow person, but DH is decidedly not as are 2 of the kids, so things can get prickly. 

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26 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

I only remember one vacation as a kid. We went to the World's Fair in NYC. Oh, we went to the grandparents' house a few times, and whilst there, we would go to the Mystic Seaport. It wasn't a tourist thing at the time, but did have the cool ship, the Charles W. Morgan. We traveled a lot anyway, from one coast to the other, as the Navy moved us. But they weren't vacations. I do remember stopping at a park and eating watermelon once. One Christmas Eve, we were moving from ABQ to Denver and we stopped and got pizza. My mother and I would split a small Coke every 2 weeks when we'd go to the AF base to grocery shop. We really lived it up!

A few years ago ds was invited to his fiancee's family's vacation. "Mom, have we ever taken a vacation?" "Nope. We ranch." We'd take half the day off to be in the rodeo parade, but that was hardly a vacation--it was hard work, washing horses, cleaning tack, hauling to town. And the last few years, we DID buy BBQ tickets, but the kids would split a plate and I wouldn't eat because it was too expensive. Dh calls square dance lessons on Thursday nights' all summer, and they feed us, so I guess that is a vacation. Only dh is there to work. We spent the night twice a year or so at the cabin, but that was because we were cleaning it and opening it for the cousins who own it. 

I put up a meme on FB today for dd: it shows a fat horse with the caption, "and I'm like there's my ski trip, eating a bit more of my Caribbean cruise". 

I grew up raising horses, sheep etc.  We only went on one vacation as a family.  I really feel like I missed out by not seeing more of the world, so DH and I have made a big effort to put time and money into traveling.  The kids have been to dozens states and had lots of experiences that I wished I had been able to have growing up.  My oldest will graduate in a year and maybe they will be more agreeable to travel again.  Or maybe not.  We may have hit a stage where the complaining is too much and we take a break.

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3 hours ago, Garga said:

Staycation.  Go on day trips to things people like that are close by. 

A busy cruise sounds like it would fit the bill for everyone.

Ah—that’s what I would have done, too.  I’m through with trying to force my kids to do “fun” things that they don’t think are fun.  Not worth the effort. 

I don’t know.  I’m an American.  I only remember about 3 vacations from the time I was born until I moved out at 19.  And the only reason we had those vacations was because family from out of town came to visit and wanted to “do things”.  We went to Washington DC, Gettysburg, and some cabins in the Appalachians somewhere.  Every time someone would visit, it was the same thing: DC, Gettysburg, Appalachians.  My family didn’t do any vacations.  And we didn’t do staycations.  We just didn’t do anything!  I used to read a ton of books as a kid because there wasn’t much else to do (only child.)

We lived a 2-hour’s drive from Ocean City (a very, very popular beach in Maryland) but my parents never took me.  The first time I saw the ocean was when my dh found out I’d never seen it.  He picked himself up from off the floor and then drove me there the next weekend.  We drove there and back in one day.  My parents just weren’t into going anywhere.

Now that I’m the adult, we have very modest vacations.  The only “vacations” we have are to visit my parents every few years, who moved out west.  We will sometimes do a 2 night stay at the ocean.  And we do a number of day trips to things like the zoo or to a museum.

I should be more specific.  I don’t think you guys have more vacations if anything probably less due to less annual leave.  But here it would be rare for a family to do an all meals cooked stay in accommodation type holiday.   A lot of families have caravans, campers or tents and road trip, some hire holiday houses.  It’s common to have an occasional Bali type trip which would be accommodation and meals etc.  probably because of the generous annual leave and huge distances here road tripping is pretty popular. 

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2 hours ago, Shellydon said:

I grew up raising horses, sheep etc.  We only went on one vacation as a family.  I really feel like I missed out by not seeing more of the world, so DH and I have made a big effort to put time and money into traveling.  The kids have been to dozens states and had lots of experiences that I wished I had been able to have growing up.  My oldest will graduate in a year and maybe they will be more agreeable to travel again.  Or maybe not.  We may have hit a stage where the complaining is too much and we take a break.

It sounds to me like you grew up appreciating travel and vacations because you didn't do much of it. On the other hand, your kids have had neat vacations and now have an entitled/unappreciative attitude. I think taking a year off sounds like a good idea because it might help them see the vacation as a privilege and not a right.

Emily

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Vacations are a rare treat for our family and WDW is not within our budget. If any of my kids complained about the plans, I'd do what you did and cancel the trip. We do try to find something during each trip that everyone will enjoy, but I don't put up with whining if someone doesn't like all the options. I think I'd leave all the whiners at home and take my own vacation.

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