Hate

[nevergiveup]

I honestly don't think I actively hate anyone.

So, it kinda surprises me when I hear someone say they hate someone, be it someone they know in real life, a politician (Trump for instance), TV personality, etc...

Are there people you hate?

[Guest]

Yes. I don’t think it’s ideal but there are a few people, some famous, some personal, whom I think, if they died, I would feel relief. So that seems pretty much a definition of hate to me. 

Not proud of it, just being real. 

[Tanaqui]

Loathing is endless. Hate is a bottomless cup. I will pour and pour.

No, seriously, I try not to dwell on it, but yes, there are people I utterly despise. I wouldn't trouble myself to spit on them if they were dying of thirst. When they finally do drop dead, I'm gonna throw a big party, with champagne and confetti and balloon animals, and we'll all ceremoniously dance about singing hallelujah.

Happily, I don't know any of these people personally. That'd be super awkward, amirite?

[May]

No, there’s no one I hate. There are some people that I don’t want to spend time with though. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dislike?  yes.   Won't support (their cause, their agenda, their whatever)?  Yes.  Hate?  Not really.  For one thing, I feel like hate would require actually knowing someone personally - at least in my own interpretation of the concept. 

There are people who I protect myself from.  I consider that as much a "gift" to them as well as to myself.  They don't need me in their life if I cannot support them in some way. 

[mlktwins]

NM :-)

Edited May 20, 2019 by mlktwins

[Murphy101]

There are things that people do that I hate and that have caused me to distrust them to the point I wouldn’t want them around my dog, much less my kids or myself.  

But the people themselves?

I don’t think so. Hate takes a lot of energy I just don’t seem to have to spare after spending it loving other people. 

[Carrie12345]

Yes. I don’t dwell on it, but I sure do feel it when the subjects come up. I don’t, like, wish bad things on them, because they’re still human. And they tend to face the natural consequences of their disgusting actions at some point anyway. 

 

verb

1. 1. 

   feel intense or passionate dislike for (someone).

   "the boys hate each other"

   synonyms:

   loathe, detest, dislike greatly, abhor, abominate, despise, execrate, feel aversion toward, feel revulsion toward, feel hostile toward, be repelled by, be revolted by, regard with disgust, not be able to bear/stand, be unable to stomach, find intolerable, shudder at, recoil from, shrink from; More noun 1.  intense or passionate dislike. "feelings of hate and revenge" synonyms: loathing, hatred, detestation, dislike, distaste, abhorrence, abomination, execration, resentment, aversion, hostility, ill will, ill feeling, bad feeling;More

[Mergath]

I try not to hate, but I'm not very good at it. I think the Buddhist quote about anger, how it's like holding onto hot coals and expecting the other person to get burned, applies to hate, as well.

But like I said, I'm not very good at it and the list of people I hate is probably very long.

Hate is kind of ambiguous, too. What I think of as "hate" might be another person's "intense dislike." 

[Scarlett]

Hate is a place I have visited but I work hard to not stay there.  My best friend's first husband, my aunt, my XH, 2 of XH's affair partners one of which is my cousin....I no longer hate any of them but I certainly would never trust them.  

Edited May 21, 2019 by Scarlett

[J-rap]

Over the years I've really tried to veer away from that word and feeling for the most part, so it's hard for me to even distinguish it exactly, if that makes sense.  But certainly, I can name a few people I really dislike or who bother me so much that I would do almost anything to not be in the same room with them.  I do realize that some people really have the deck stacked against them as far as knowing how to be kind people, and I try and remember that.  Usually when I think of it in that way, I can let it go.

I agree with Mergath though that the word and even the feeling is ambiguous.  Maybe I'm just fooling myself into thinking I don't hate whereas my feelings are just as intense.  I just label them differently?

I will say that my negative feelings about someone definitely increase when they're in a type of leadership position and are arrogantly taking advantage of, misdirecting, or hurting other people.   (No one I know personally is like that..)

[Rosie_0801]

Sure. They earned it.

I try not to dwell on it because apathy and disgust are less unpleasant experiences for me, but I know it is there and I will have to feel it again when it is triggered next. It's a hassle, but it'd be mentally unhealthy not to.

[historically accurate]

Yes. There is one person who has earned it in my life. I have been told to forgive this person, but imo the deed is unforgivable. I am sure over time I will come to terms with it, and possibly I will gain some closure. I'm not there yet. I don't dwell on it because I refuse to let this person hurt me more, but yes, there is hatred. 

 

[gardenmom5]

I think for many, it's hyperbole - even if they dont' realize it.  so often, words are used for effect, or without full understanding of what the word actually means.  I know some people use very strong words to describe minor things, and some people use calm words to describe major things - so it can be hard to tell where the person is actually coming from.

I struggled with my feelings towards my grandmother (generally anger, but maybe sometimes it crossed to actual hate) - but have worked very hard over many years, decades even, to forgive her for what she did.

hate is one of those poisons you take thinking it will hurt the person you hate.  it only hurts yourself.

[Garga]

I was thinking about this the other day and wondering if I feel hate or not. I agree with a PP who said that perhaps what one calls “hate” the other calls “extreme dislike.” I don’t think I really know when you tip over into hate or when it’s just extreme dislike.

Then again, I heard a story about how the leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un got mad when someone fell asleep during a speech he gave.  He had the man “questioned” (usually means torture in despotic governments) and then executed by firing squad. When I hear of despotic leaders and the details of what they do to people, I feel some strong stirrings inside of me and it’s probably hate.  

I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this, but when a certain political figure joked that he wished people would sit up when he walked in the room the same way people sit up when Kim Jong-un walks in a room, I felt sick inside and felt the same strong stirrings.  All I could do was try to hope that the political figure didn’t know that the reason those people sit up is because if they don’t, they can literally face a firing squad.  But if the person knew why people sit up, then I think I would feel actual hate toward that person for making jokes like that.  

Mostly, I think I feel hate when I read about bad leaders and all the harm they cause groups of people—going all the way back through our studies of selfish leaders who let thousands, tens of thousands, or even millions suffer and die.     Whether it’s a current dictator or an ancient pharaoh, I think I feel actual hatred toward leaders who abuse power.  I started feeling this way about leaders when we learned about Julius Caesar.  We tend to hold him up as a great leader, but...he hurt and killed so many people and destroyed so many nations.  I started wondering why we study these people and act like they’re good and worthy of honor?  So many of them are killers, basically.  And I started to feel extreme dislike toward them.

I can’t think of any regular person that I know that I hate.  

 

Edited May 21, 2019 by Garga

[Rosie_0801]

17 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

hate is one of those poisons you take thinking it will hurt the person you hate.  it only hurts yourself.

 

I would modify that to "cultivating hate." Cultivating hate, to keep it alive, will only hurt you.

[gardenmom5]

 

9 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

I would modify that to "cultivating hate." Cultivating hate, to keep it alive, will only hurt you.

I wouldn't.  generally, if someone keeps thinking about someone, or every time they think about someone, they feel hate - they've got a problem.  it is hurting you.  generally, you are only feeling those things about people you DO think about.  if you're not thinking about them, you're not thinking about them.

[gardenmom5]

20 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

I recently heard a lecture that mused on anger turning to malice, and malice turning to hate. Personally, I confess that there is a person in my life who over and over again provokes me to anger. It is impossible to confront and discuss issues with this person, so the anger simmers to the point of me bearing malice towards that person. I do not like this feeling, and I talk to God about it frequently. Because it grieves me, I don’t really think it’s full fledged hate. 

But like love, hate has become a multipurpose word and is often used flippantly, so when we hear the word aloud that’s got to be a consideration. 

heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury as a woman scorned...

 

and yeah, I agree, people use hate far more than is accurate.

[Rosie_0801]

6 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

 

I wouldn't.  generally, if someone keeps thinking about someone, or every time they think about someone, they feel hate - they've got a problem.  it is hurting you.  generally, you are only feeling those things about people you DO think about.  if you're not thinking about them, you're not thinking about them.

 

So what emotions are people supposed to feel about abuse and their abusers?

[marbel]

There was a person in my life that I hated because of things he did to people I loved.  Over time I started feeling sorry for him, then when he was out of all our lives, I mostly forgot about him. 

I can't muster up hatred for public figures.  Hate to me is just such a strong word. I take it as "I would rather you were dead."  

Probably should add, I have not suffered horribly at the hands of another person. I have been mistreated but not to the level that I could hate the person.

[gardenmom5]

12 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

Thinking on hate, I’ve heard it said that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. 

I think that’s the direction I go with public and historical figures. I feel indifference for them, and great compassion for the victims of their politics. 

 the opposite of love is hate - how many times do you see divorced couples who hate their former spouse, and seek to make their lives miserable.  if they were indifferent, they wouldn't care.

[VaKim]

Hate, as in wanting someone dead, or at least suffering horribly? Nobody in "real life." But every time there is a child molester, abuser, or any other cruel, evil person, yep. Would like to see them in the same pain they caused their victims. Or at least quickly dead. Doesn't hurt me to hate them because I don't really know them and it isn't something I dwell on. 

[Rosie_0801]

13 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

Thinking on hate, I’ve heard it said that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. 

 

Hate is tied up with love, for sure. But it can continue long past the time one ceases to love the nasty person because it is tied up with one's self love.

[Shoeless]

24 minutes ago, seekinghim45 said:

I don't know.  But one thing really struck me when I went with my students to the Dallas Holocaust Museum and we saw a film that was a collection of interviews with survivors.  You could tell which ones were still consumed by hate and which ones had made peace.  I certainly can't judge.  I cannot wrap my mind around how human beings could have treated other human beings that way.  And yet, it seemed like they were letting their abusers win.  They continued to affect their mind.  Then others on the film or Corrie Ten Boom have somehow managed to have forgiven their guards and others who abused them.  I haven't been in that situation.  Not saying one is right and one is wrong.  Just an observation. 

I think this is why people say that forgiveness isn't for the abuser; it's really for oneself, so you do not allow the abuser to occupy your mind. 

[gardenmom5]

29 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

So what emotions are people supposed to feel about abuse and their abusers?

my grandmother was abusive. (she was given way too much access to us.)  I am currently in therapy for cptsd (and a few other things) from the damage she caused.  my therapist - who has heard things I've never even told my husband -  has been amazed that I turned out "relatively normal", knowing how completely self-destructive most women are with my background.  my grandmother destroyed peoples lives.  I consider her a contributing factor in my father's suicide when I was 12. I developed my working definition of evil from her example - she did things to control, and destroy, peoples spirits.

I have sought, for many years and decades, to forgive her - because I do not wish to eat the poison of hatred.  she could hold a grudge so long, she didn't know why she was angry, she just was.  I certainly don't want to be anything like her, and if I held onto my hurt and anger at her - it would destroy me.  she's been dead for 25 years - but the damage was done.  forgiveness is not necessarily reconciliation*,* Forgiveness brings peace to the heart. love can flourish in a peaceful heart because there is room for it to grow and spread out and fill to the farthest reaches.  it's not competing for space.  the more peace I achieve, the more love I can feel - including for my husband and children.

I strongly believe there is a life after this one - I used to wonder how I would respond if she came to me and begged (and I *mean* begged) forgiveness.  I realized, it wouldn't matter. the damage was done and I still had to fix it.  so,  I was adamant I wanted to never see her again.  I fulfilled my responsibilities towards her, I was done and washed my hands. I didn't have to ever see her again.  I also recognized - such feelings indicated I still hadn't achieved forgiveness; and my anger at her, still ruled me to a degree.  there was still part of my heart that felt anger and hurt, despite the amount of progress I had made. despite being able to feel sorry for her - sometimes. despite understanding there were some pretty bad things in her childhood.  those feelings, were holding *me* back from the peace I sought. because if I was truly "at peace", my feelings would be indifference and even compassion.   with therapy - I'm finally reaching where I could face her, and feel nothing but sorrow for the waste, and compassion for what she brought upon herself. (and shake my head in sadness.) I can mourn for the person she could have been had she made other choices. she wanted to be loved, but everything she did ensured she wouldn't be loved (but would be feared instead) by those closest to her.  I feel sadness for her.

 

**I wish people would realize that. sometimes reconciliation with a living person is downright dangerous - and that's where boundaries come in).

[Shoeless]

I don't hate anyone.  I basically like everyone, or at least, really want to like everyone.  There are a few people I have recently realized that despite really wanting to like them? I kind of don't.  They aren't necessarily terrible people.  They have good qualities.  I just...really do not enjoy their company and try to avoid spending any sort of one-on-one time with them.  They are exhausting to talk to and require a higher difficulty setting than I prefer.  

That's been my theme for 2019: It's ok to select a lower difficult setting for relationships.     

Edited May 21, 2019 by MissLemon

[MaBelle]

I think so.  I'd at least get great pleasure out of causing them a little bit of physical harm.  Yes, I know it's wrong.

ETA- not races or genders or whatever.  Specific people that have caused pain/grief/sorrow/shit to family menbers.  Not me.  

Edited May 21, 2019 by MaBelle

[PrincessMommy]

Hate is a very strong word.   I like most people I meet.  Some I prefer to like from a distance 😉   

 

Currently, there are 2 people in my life that I actively and strongly dislike.  One is no longer part of my or my family's life.  They created an awful situation for my family.  I'm glad their hold on my family has gone to nill and I will be happy never to have to set eyes on them again.  The other person I have to deal with on a semi-regular basis.  I pray very often that they would move away.    It's more than that they annoy me... I feel a very strong and passionate dislike.  Part of me wishes that would go away and it wouldn't bother me so much and part of me thinks, "I'm rarely wrong about that gut feeling".   

 

[PeachyDoodle]

No, I don't think so. There are two very specific family members that I strongly dislike and would honestly love to hate, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I always find myself playing devil's advocate and imagining "their side." I guess that's a good thing.

(But I still avoid them at all costs.)

[SKL]

I can't think of anyone I hate.  I can think of people who annoy me a lot, people whose behavior disgusts me at times, people who really don't make the world a better place.  But hate does not describe how I feel about them.

[Joker]

I'm not sure. I feel like hate is such a strong word/feeling and I know I wish harm to no one, but there are a person or two who I have strong dislike toward.

I had a grandfather that was so awful I went to therapy. My psych told me to stay away - not only for my own safety but for his. I can't imagine ever physically hurting anyone but my psych really thought there would come a time where he would say/do something that would set me off. When he died, I was actually able to remember the good times but I had no desire to say goodbye or be at his funeral and I don't miss him.

I've recently cut someone out of my life completely. I don't wish her harm and hope her life is awesome but I want nothing more to do with her because of how she treats my dc. I would never say I hate her but I will be fine never interacting with her again and she's family. 

There are political figures I detest but I would never wish harm on them. I feel like hating someone means being okay, or almost wishing, for harm to come their way and I don't feel that way toward anyone.

[Junie]

7 hours ago, Quill said:

Yes. I don’t think it’s ideal but there are a few people, some famous, some personal, whom I think, if they died, I would feel relief. So that seems pretty much a definition of hate to me. 

Not proud of it, just being real. 

When I read your post I immediately thought of the DC sniper.  I remember feeling relief when he was executed.

[Ausmumof3]

I don’t know how people can even want to love certain classes of people to be honest.  I don’t think it’s necessarily a Christian attribute either.  We are meant to love our enemies but also to hate evildoers etc.  I think that’s where child abusers etc come in.  We don’t hold onto personal vendettas or seek revenge but we are generally meant to hate those who are engaging in those behaviours.  Maybe if they truly truly repent we might be able to change hate to pity.

[Arctic Bunny]

5 hours ago, seekinghim45 said:

 

I guess I have been blessed.  There is no one that has ever done anything to me worthy of hatred..  

Exactly my thoughts.

[gardenmom5]

24 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I don’t know how people can even want to love certain classes of people to be honest.  I don’t think it’s necessarily a Christian attribute either.  We are meant to love our enemies but also to hate evildoers etc.  I think that’s where child abusers etc come in.  We don’t hold onto personal vendettas or seek revenge but we are generally meant to hate those who are engaging in those behaviours.  Maybe if they truly truly repent we might be able to change hate to pity.

we can love them as human beings.  we are to hate the sin, not the sinner.  why should they repent if we make clear we utterly hate them? why should they come to us for help if they want to change, but dont' know how if they fear rejection?  if we hate them, what is to motivate us to  follow the commandment to go into the wilderness after that lost sheep?

My mother was in an adulterous relationship for years when I was a teen (and practically rubbed my face in it) - as an adult, she knew I loved her, she knew I disapproved of the behavior.  she also had more faith in my love for her than my sexually promiscuous siblings. (who also disapproved of the adultery, mostly cause they thought the guy was a creep.)  My grandmother was abusive - as I prayed about what to do in that relationship, I learned about boundaries (something abusers do not allow, so I had no clue what they were.)  I believe it was God that taught them to me, even though I didn't know what they were called.  Not allowing her to abuse my children - or me! - was a kindness to her as it prevented her from committing more sin. (as well as protecting my children.)

I struggled with the parable of the prodigal son for years - it hit way too close to home.  I understood the faithful son's hurt at the perceived favoritism towards his wayward brother all too well.  well, we've all committed sin, and we all have need of repentance and forgiveness.

[gardenmom5]

6 hours ago, seekinghim45 said:

 

I guess I have been blessed.  There is no one that has ever done anything to me worthy of hatred..  

I can look at the experiences I've had growing up.  life would have been so much easier to have never had them. for a long time, I wished I had never had them, and would fantasize about some alternate reality and what my life *could* have been like.

as I started working through everything, I realized I learned a great deal from those experiences that was of value.  Things I doubt I would have learned as clearly, or thoroughly, in a less intense manner.  I believe what I have learned has made me a better person. I am more aware, I have more patience, human nature, any number of things. The goodness and mercy of God that comes when we're walking in darkness and have no other light.  and one day I realized... I would not choose the easier path of no hurt or trauma, if it meant I had to give up the things I learned by going through them.  darn it...  

[Ausmumof3]

26 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

we can love them as human beings.  we are to hate the sin, not the sinner.  why should they repent if we make clear we utterly hate them? why should they come to us for help if they want to change, but dont' know how if they fear rejection?  if we hate them, what is to motivate us to  follow the commandment to go into the wilderness after that lost sheep?

My mother was in an adulterous relationship for years when I was a teen (and practically rubbed my face in it) - as an adult, she knew I loved her, she knew I disapproved of the behavior.  she also had more faith in my love for her than my sexually promiscuous siblings. (who also disapproved of the adultery, mostly cause they thought the guy was a creep.)  My grandmother was abusive - as I prayed about what to do in that relationship, I learned about boundaries (something abusers do not allow, so I had no clue what they were.)  I believe it was God that taught them to me, even though I didn't know what they were called.  Not allowing her to abuse my children - or me! - was a kindness to her as it prevented her from committing more sin. (as well as protecting my children.)

I struggled with the parable of the prodigal son for years - it hit way too close to home.  I understood the faithful son's hurt at the perceived favoritism towards his wayward brother all too well.  well, we've all committed sin, and we all have need of repentance and forgiveness.

I understand.  For me the people are not people that have hurt me personally but have done evil to other people.  It’s not mine to forgive them really.

[BakersDozen]

I thought I could never hate someone...but then someone hurt my children and you bet I hate them.

I hated my son-in-law. There was a time when I would have physically attacked him and, had he died, I would not have cried, I hated him that much. Given the situation he put us/our daughter in (they were dating), he was fully deserving of that hatred.

My children being seriously hurt or endangered by someone's conscious decision/action makes me feel hate.

[Melissa in Australia]

nobody I hate. Hate is a too strong emotion for me to hold onto for a long time

some  people I dislike and some I deeply  despise 

[Melissa in Australia]

1 hour ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I don’t know how people can even want to love certain classes of people to be honest.  I don’t think it’s necessarily a Christian attribute either.  We are meant to love our enemies but also to hate evildoers etc.  I think that’s where child abusers etc come in.  We don’t hold onto personal vendettas or seek revenge but we are generally meant to hate those who are engaging in those behaviours.  Maybe if they truly truly repent we might be able to change hate to pity.

these are the people who I deeply despise. 

to me the word HATE conveys some sort of negative action on my part

[Ausmumof3]

14 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

these are the people who I deeply despise. 

to me the word HATE conveys some sort of negative action on my part

Yeah maybe it’s a semantics thing.  Although the be honest I wouldn’t speak to them if I passed them in the street if that counts as a negative action.  I’m not talking vigilante justice or anything.

i feel like some christians are quite good at telling everyone else to forgive their enemies.  That’s a thing we need to do ourselves of ourselves not pressure from the church.

[Melissa in Australia]

I agree Ausmum

[kiwik]

Hate requires more energy than I have.  There are a few people whose death I would not regret - but if I were there I would still try and save them.  I dislike the principal of my son's school for a number of reasons but I don't wish him to be harmed.  I would like him to learn more compassion but I don't really hope one of his  kids develops major problems.  Not often anyway.  One day I will be indifferent but there is no point forgiving him  as he thinks he has done nothing wrong.

[nevergiveup]

This has become such an interesting conversation and has brought up other questions.

I look at hate as being a very, very intense emotion.  So, my question to all you haters 🙂 is do you feel other emotions with equal intensity?

[Guest]

13 hours ago, Mergath said:

I try not to hate, but I'm not very good at it. I think the Buddhist quote about anger, how it's like holding onto hot coals and expecting the other person to get burned, applies to hate, as well.

But like I said, I'm not very good at it and the list of people I hate is probably very long.

Hate is kind of ambiguous, too. What I think of as "hate" might be another person's "intense dislike." 

It’s interesting; it becomes a bit of a semantic argument sometimes. I think some people, through upbringing and/or religious teachings, cannot bring themselves to objectively consider they hate someone. So they will euphamize it, but it means pretty much the same thing, yet we can’t quantify a person’s emotions, so we can’t really argue with someone who claims not to hate, only “strongly dislike.” 

It’s a lot like that time we were talking about what is a lie. Some people simply cannot see themselves as having lied. Sure, they have fibbed, told a white lie, been less than perfectly truthful. But lie? Never! 

[Rosie_0801]

1 hour ago, nevergiveup said:

I look at hate as being a very, very intense emotion.  So, my question to all you haters 🙂 is do you feel other emotions with equal intensity?

 

If I have reason to, sure.

[historically accurate]

2 hours ago, nevergiveup said:

This has become such an interesting conversation and has brought up other questions.

I look at hate as being a very, very intense emotion.  So, my question to all you haters 🙂 is do you feel other emotions with equal intensity?

No, I'm not really an overly emotional person. I am normally cool and collected. Not to say that I don't feel emotions, but I'm not really a high ups/low downs kind of person - I'm very even-keeled. 

 

 

[Riverland]

Please Don't Quote... In my family, yes, there is one who I hate. Growing up, she treated my daughter horribly. My daughter passed away and now her cousin will never be able to make amends. My daughter was high functioning and this same-age, same-town cousin did everything to prevent her from being included socially... even at family-only functions.

Please Don't Quote... I understand that kids can go through very selfish stages (though her "stage" never ended) and are often just trying to fit in themselves. I do think this cousin maybe would have, as an adult, treated my daughter with kindness and support. But we will never know. I *hate* the idea of hating someone for what they did as a child (through age 18, when dd passed away), but I just don't think I will ever get over it. ... Please Don't Quote

[Murphy101]

1 hour ago, Dotwithaperiod said:

Sure. There are humans on this earth who get their jollies from destroying the lives of those they think below them. Those are worthy of my hate. 

 

From my perspective that's no different than a rabid animal. I don't hate the dog because it's rabid, there's no punishment in putting them down, it's just the sad state of things. And yeah, some people aren't any better than rabid dogs and for reasons we may never understand, they aren't likely to ever change their thinking. I don't hate them, I hate the injustice plenty though.

[LucyStoner]

Hate is just a feeling of next-level dislike.  Very intense dislike is, by definition, hate.  

It doesn’t require action and it doesn’t mean letting oneself be consumed by it.  While sometimes it’s hyperbolic, most of the time for me there an an element of truth there.  

I feel hate for all kinds of things and people at times.  I love very intensely and that often comes with hating very intensely.  Or perhaps just feeling things very intensely in general.   It can be disruptive so I have had to learn to manage it.   I don’t think I gain anything by minimizing it or pretending I don’t feel that way sometimes.  

I’m not feeling a particular hatred this morning but the day is young on the west coast, give it time.  

ETA- and honestly I don’t understand it when people are neutral in the face of extremely upsetting situations.  Of course I can hate someone I have never met- if that person is precipitating horrific situations that are hurting people, why shouldn’t I hate both them and the situation?  I can process the hate and translate it into action but neutrality doesn’t engender action.  

 

Edited May 21, 2019 by LucyStoner