Living where the majority political views are not yours

[lovinmyboys]

I have lived several places in my life and I feel like I have always had friends with various political views. For sure where we live now is a “purple” area and I like it that way. We are getting ready to move somewhere that I believe is much less purple and has one more dominant view. Can anyone share experiences living where their views are the minority? Do people know what you believe? Has it even affected your life much? Do you feel accepted and part of the community?

[Liz CA]

My friend currently lives in an area that is predominantly opposite most of her views. She told me during the last election cycle that she pretty much remains quiet. Since the art of agreeing to disagree is fading fast, people get very rude when they encounter someone who has different views so she doesn't say much.

We used to live in the same area but moved away many years ago and I don't think it was quite as polarized back then - or people still realized that it's okay when others do not agree with everything they think is right, good, holy, etc. It's really sad because many good discussions are not happening because of people just not wanting to get into it with others. I have observed a similar trend on this board. I feel we used to discuss more and be less rude and divisive.

[Arcadia]

We don’t have a yard since we live in a condo and that helps. Yard signs were very divisive due to some neighbors being rather intolerant and yanking or damaging other people’s yard signs. We are neutral in a state and county that is pro democrat party. It is common to hear political rants (including swearing) against republicans. We just stay apolitical when chatting, weather or the latest 49niners or Sharks game or the horrid commute is relatively safe polite chic chat topics.

[klmama]

We, too, generally avoid talking politics because of the one-sided ranting and rudeness. Once people know you well, some will forgive you for thinking differently, but we've had some neighbors stop speaking to us when they discovered we didn't share their views, even though we were very polite about it.  We have found that our Bible study group is capable of civil political discussion, if it comes up, but we aren't there to discuss politics!  

[kiwik]

It is so sad though that we can't have a healthy vote and agree to disagree.

[J-rap]

More and more I don't share my political views with people, at least not unless it seems really appropriate or it's within a trusting, respectful relationship.  Politics are just so darn divisive these days, and the thing is, you might actually find you have much more in common with someone than not, and then suddenly if you realize you hold different political views it can shoot down anything you thought you had in common.  Which is crazy, because often those political differences aren't even as big as you think they are when it comes down to it.  Of course sometimes they are, but if both people are decent people, you learn to compartmentalize those differences instead of painting  each other with a broad brush.

Once my dh and I were involved in a community project and we needed to get our district's representative on board.  He was of the opposite party as us, but my dh and I, believing this was a project both parties supported and would gain from, chose not to divulge our political affiliation with him.  We became pretty good friends with him over time.  He was really shocked when it came out that we were affiliated with the other party.  Well, at first he was shocked, then completely baffled, and then he thought it was just really funny.

We don't agree on everything for sure, but we do agree on a lot of things and enjoy and respect it each other.  I have a feeling that if we had started out by announcing our political party with him we would never have made it to that point.

This is all to say that when you leave politics out at first and just work at being a good neighbor and focus on the things that you do have in common, it sets a level of trust and respect that hopefully will be stronger than any political differences.  Of course sometimes it doesn't, but it's always worth hoping for.

We live in a purple area too, but the majority of our friends in a particular circle are of the opposite party as us.  They've learned over time that we generally support the other party.  They think we're wrong of course -haha.  But it hasn't really affected our friendships within that circle too much and we've always felt accepted and respected.  They've rallied together to help us in family emergencies and we, them.  We're there for each other despite a difference in political leanings.

[Pawz4me]

I tend to keep my mouth shut unless (1) I'm with other people who I know either share my outlook or who I know are willing and able to discuss differing positions calmly and rationally (those people are rare, but they do still exist) or (2) someone spouts their opinions and indicates that they believe I share them. Speaking up in situation (2) can sometimes get rather heated despite my best effort, but honestly -- how very rude and myopic is it to assume someone agrees with you?

ETA: Sometimes I think it would be wonderfully freeing to live in an area where the majority agreed with me politically, but I'm of an age to still adhere to the notion that politics and religion are best not discussed in polite company.

Edited May 19, 2019 by Pawz4me

[lovinmyboys]

I think one of the benefits of a purple area is that people can easily see that others with a different opinion aren’t “evil” or whatever. At least in my bubble here, people don’t say things assuming everyone agrees with them. Neighbors, members of churches, kids sports coaches, etc all likely have very different beliefs and everyone respects each other. I just really like it.

 It isn’t that politics comes up or that I want to talk about it all the time, I am just worried that I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut when someone says something outrageous and everyone nods along. Dh is already living there and some nice people took him to dinner. He was very surprised at the things they said to him the first time they met him. They were obviously sure he agreed with them. I think these people are great and wouldn’t want to offend them, but I also don’t agree with the things they said so I would have a hard time smiling and nodding.

[ktgrok]

I live in technically a purple metro area, but in my neighborhood/town I'm in the minority politically and yes, it does effect me. It means I don't discuss certain things in public or at least not with neighbors, etc. It can be kind of depressing at times, to be so upset about something political and know that most of the people around you feel the exact opposite. It never bothered me before this last presidential election cycle, and to be fair it really isn't that this area is mostly people of the other party, it's that this area is plenty full of what I consider the worst of that party, if that makes sense? Things that many in that party would disavow, those in my area would be loud and proud about. So that's more the issue than politics in general. 

It's better now, I lived, but yeah...in an existential way it can be a bit rough. I dream of living somewhere more in line with my views, but won't move just because of that. 

[lovinmyboys]

I think where I live now, people will say their views, but in general they do it in a respectful way because they know people on the other side. I have no problem with that.

I am worried about people assuming everyone is on the same side as them, and then not being as careful with their words and using more inflammatory language. Then I have trouble keeping my mouth shut because what they are saying likely isn’t true. Especially when they talk about the other side’s beliefs and I feel like they exaggerate them or misstate them and I have trouble not saying “I don’t know anyone who actually believes that.”

[Heatherwith4]

 It’s pretty hard.  I don’t feel the need to talk politics very often, although I do a lot of reading about it.  But others tend to bring it up.  I just sort of ignore them.  And heaven forbid I forget and wade into the cesspool of humanity that is the Facebook comments section.  

 

 What really stinks is I haven’t felt comfortable at church for a while now, and unfortunately, I don’t see that changing anytime soon.  

[MaeFlowers]

46 minutes ago, lovinmyboys said:

I think where I live now, people will say their views, but in general they do it in a respectful way because they know people on the other side. I have no problem with that.

I am worried about people assuming everyone is on the same side as them, and then not being as careful with their words and using more inflammatory language. Then I have trouble keeping my mouth shut because what they are saying likely isn’t true. Especially when they talk about the other side’s beliefs and I feel like they exaggerate them or misstate them and I have trouble not saying “I don’t know anyone who actually believes that.”

 

I'm a moderate who lives in a very red area. I have found many times that people do assume you are one of them and will say things that are inflammatory. Sometimes I bite my tongue, sometimes I dont. Overall, though, most people dont talk about politics too much. 

I've never lived in a predominantly blue area but I assume it would be the same. I wish people could be more civil. I grew up with such a wide mix of friends and we could talk about things and laugh at the same time. We knew how to respect one another. It's sad those days are gone.

ETA: To be honest, the political divide hasn't been as difficult as the religious one, for me. I live in a highly evangelical area and am not evangelical. That's where I find myself nodding my head much more because it is talked about signifigantly more than politics and where I find that more people make assumptions about who you are and what you believe.

Edited May 19, 2019 by MaeFlowers

[Valley Girl]

I'm somewhere in the middle with my political views. I'm at the point where I'm thoroughly fed up listening to people on both sides, mainly because people don't actually want to discuss so much as expound on their own views and demean the other side. So I pretty much don't participate in conversations of a political nature at all. The exception is when my kids express something that I think needs balance--that can be either to the left or the right.

[ktgrok]

40 minutes ago, lovinmyboys said:

I think where I live now, people will say their views, but in general they do it in a respectful way because they know people on the other side. I have no problem with that.

I am worried about people assuming everyone is on the same side as them, and then not being as careful with their words and using more inflammatory language. 

yes! The first thing, just discussing things, I'm fine with and often have decent conversations. It's that second thing, people assuming you are "one of them" and can use language that is frankly offensive. It's not that they feel that way that is so upsetting, it's that people assume I feel that way too  - thats what really bothers me. A lot of this is actually not about politics at all, but about things like racism, etc that always existed but have become more open in some places in recent years. Not that people are more racist , just more open about it. Other things as well, not just racism. 

19 minutes ago, Heatherwith4 said:

 

 What really stinks is I haven’t felt comfortable at church for a while now, and unfortunately, I don’t see that changing anytime soon.  

This was a huge issue for me. I'm currently taking refuge for a while in a different denomination, and although that is not primarily for political reasons, it does play a part I think. Where I attend now is kind of a haven for those of my beliefs. 

[Serenade]

8 hours ago, lovinmyboys said:

I have lived several places in my life and I feel like I have always had friends with various political views. For sure where we live now is a “purple” area and I like it that way. We are getting ready to move somewhere that I believe is much less purple and has one more dominant view. Can anyone share experiences living where their views are the minority? Do people know what you believe? Has it even affected your life much? Do you feel accepted and part of the community?

 

I live in an area where my political views are in the extreme minority, and I don't like it.  That said, I'm listed as unaffiliated so nobody knows what my political beliefs are.  I don't choose to discuss politics with anybody, not even friends, so in reality, being in the minority doesn't affect me much.  But it is extremely disappointing to know that my vote will never count in many elections.  Many elections only have one candidate with no opposition.  

ETA:  I do like the area I live in.  It is very diverse, and whenever I get upset about national blah, blah, blah, and then I go out into my community, I feel encouraged.  People are nice.  People are respectful.   People are friendly.  

Edited May 19, 2019 by Serenade

[Serenade]

2 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

 

ETA: Sometimes I think it would be wonderfully freeing to live in an area where the majority agreed with me politically, but I'm of an age to still adhere to the notion that politics and religion are best not discussed in polite company.

 

I like this. 

[Jaybee]

1 hour ago, lovinmyboys said:

I think one of the benefits of a purple area is that people can easily see that others with a different opinion aren’t “evil” or whatever. At least in my bubble here, people don’t say things assuming everyone agrees with them. Neighbors, members of churches, kids sports coaches, etc all likely have very different beliefs and everyone respects each other. I just really like it.

 It isn’t that politics comes up or that I want to talk about it all the time, I am just worried that I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut when someone says something outrageous and everyone nods along. Dh is already living there and some nice people took him to dinner. He was very surprised at the things they said to him the first time they met him. They were obviously sure he agreed with them. I think these people are great and wouldn’t want to offend them, but I also don’t agree with the things they said so I would have a hard time smiling and nodding.

Your second paragraph resonates a lot with me in our present location. It isn't that I am polar opposite--I'm not. But there are oh so many issues on which I have a least a different angle/perspective, and I find myself watching my tongue (not a bad thing in itself), and often thinking, "If they knew what I really think, they might kick me out of the room." It can be rather exhausting at times, because I have to judge whether a comment here or there will help them grow in thinking things through, or will only ostracize me. I am trying to learn to focus on the things that I can learn from them; for example, they (generality, I know) tend to be more generous with their time and efforts on others' behalf than I am.

ETA: Just thinking about this--I would be more comfortable, of course, being in a place where political discussions were not even a thing, where the environment was straight along the lines of what I believe. However, that isn't even so among my immediate family, lol. If I lived in an area where the majority viewpoint was the opposite as where I live, I would still be uncomfortable. Perhaps because, as stated several times above, so many people these days assume you believe the same way they do, so they don't enter into thoughtful discussion--just assumptions or battering the other side. I would prefer to be able to reasonably discuss the nuances.

Edited May 19, 2019 by Jaybee

[BusyMom5]

How do I deal?  I basically keep my thoughts to myself unless someone says something so outrageous that my mouth pops open.  If I could move to a more neutral area, I would.  I live deep in Trump country- like 80% support.  I consider myself independent.   My ballot is usually a checkered mix of the candidates I think are best suited to the job.  I don't fit in here, and I wish I could move.  Right now it feels like everyone is emboldened- racist and sexist stuff said out loud that 10 years ago might have been thought of, but the person used a filter bc it was impolite.   Now they just say it.  I'm sad to see people I respected laugh and share these things.  It has changed the way I see many people for the worst.

[gardenmom5]

I'm in an area where I'm in a strong opposite political, social, and religious, views.   some people know, other's don't.   some people are decent and are fine with a "we can agree to disagree" - and just don't go there.  some - go out of their way to tell you why you're wrong.    

if you don't want to have a political discussion after someone has started one - say so.  I've had to tell that to people on the same side of the aisle as myself.  

most people can have civil discourse about other subjects.   some neighborhoods are going to be stronger in their political leanings/outspokeness than others.  (I try to stay out of those neighborhoods).  knowing how to change the subject is a good skill.  I got practice yesterday buying some items from a  small merchant who started pontificating ( about history in this area - where she's a transplant, and I grew up). I corrected her on somethings (I grew up here, my experience goes back much farther)  just change the subject...

I think the problems are most likely to engage when people try to force their opinions on others.   keep in mind, if you're in an area that is very strong one way or the other, people will be likely to think you agree with them.  whichever side they're on, because they think "everyone here thinks____".

 

[Garga]

6 hours ago, Heatherwith4 said:

What really stinks is I haven’t felt comfortable at church for a while now, and unfortunately, I don’t see that changing anytime soon.  

 

This is me, too.  Fortunately/unfortunately due to other non-political reasons, for the past year we’ve not been going to our regular church, but have been visiting a lot of churches in the area, trying to find one to settle into.  I can attend these new churches and pretend they all agree with me, even though I’m sure they don’t.  🙂 But at least instead of it being the people I know and love who suddenly seem so different from me, it’s just a bunch of strangers and I don’t feel personally upset about their political views anymore.

And yeah, it’s always surprising when someone expresses an opinion that is starkly different from my own and they assume I feel the same way.  Though to be fair, in the past I probably would have done that.  It’s been the years on these boards that have opened my eyes to other points of views and I rarely assume people feel the same as me in pretty much anything nowadays—not just politics.

[SeaConquest]

I don't think I would feel safe living in a red state today, as a woman and as a Jew. I would especially feel unsafe if I was a person of color. I've never felt this way in America before, but I do today.

[SeaConquest]

Just now, kdsuomi said:

This is the divisiveness people are talking about. You would feel unsafe as a woman and a Jew? You are aware that there are women, Jews, and even people of color who are conservatives and feel perfectly safe? Painting with that broad brush is the problem. 

 

Yes, I am aware that others feel perfectly safe. That's perfectly fine for them. I am entitled to my opinion. Having just had an anti-Semitic shooting in my relatively Blue city two weeks ago, and given the current attacks on abortion rights, very few places feel safe to me anymore. You are entitled to feel defensive about my opinion. 

[teachermom2834]

I always considered myself extremely conservative but recently moved to a location so red that I am quite frequently the most liberal person in the room.

It has been shocking and disorienting and I don't like it one bit. I don't know what I am but it is not this. 

I don't think I belong anywhere. I keep my mouth shut and vent to my dh and kids. 

[kiwik]

20 hours ago, Heatherwith4 said:

 It’s pretty hard.  I don’t feel the need to talk politics very often, although I do a lot of reading about it.  But others tend to bring it up.  I just sort of ignore them.  And heaven forbid I forget and wade into the cesspool of humanity that is the Facebook comments section.  

 

 What really stinks is I haven’t felt comfortable at church for a while now, and unfortunately, I don’t see that changing anytime soon.  

We are a bit less divided in NZ but I am aware at election time that nearly everyone at church supports the opposite party to me.  I don't hide that I do but I avoid getting into discussions about it.  I also don't hide that while I think abortion is awful for all concerned that I am Pro a woman having the choice to have an abortion.  I just don't debate the subject.

Could someone tell me which colour is which there? Her Blue is National (conservative) and red Labour (more liberal socially focussed).

Edited May 20, 2019 by kiwik

[Farrar]

31 minutes ago, kdsuomi said:

This is the divisiveness people are talking about. You would feel unsafe as a woman and a Jew? You are aware that there are women, Jews, and even people of color who are conservatives and feel perfectly safe? Painting with that broad brush is the problem. 

Really though? Is someone saying they feel unsafe the problem when there's an actual rise in hate crimes and hate speech? When white supremacy is this emboldened? I mean, hashtag, not all conservatives, sure, absolutely. But complaining about the rise of these viewpoints being expressed openly is definitely not the actual problem.

[Heatherwith4]

20 minutes ago, kiwik said:

 

Could someone tell me which colour is which there? Her Blue is National (conservative) and red Labour (more liberal socially focussed).

 

Red is Republican and Blue is Democrat. 

[HS Mom in NC]

This is my existence no matter where I go in the US because I'm a registered Libertarian.  I rarely meet people with my views. Shrug. I don't initiate conversations about politics.  I don't often meet people who initiate conversations about politics. If they do I point out that I'm a Libertarian and it usually brings the conversation to an end.  My guess is because most people have no idea how to operate outside of the 2 party paradigm.

[Farrar]

26 minutes ago, kiwik said:

We are a bit less divided in NZ but I am aware at election time that nearly everyone supports the opposite party to me.  I don't hide that I do but I avoid getting into discussions about it.  I also don't hide that while I think abortion is awful for all concerned that I am Pro a woman having the choice to have an abortion.  I just don't debate the subject.

Could someone tell me which colour is which there? Her Blue is National (conservative) and red Labour (more liberal socially focussed).

It's not intuitive at all because the left is internationally more identified with the color red because of the association with socialism. At various points it was different, but in the 2000 presidential election, CNN used those colors - blue for Democrats and Red for Republicans and since then, they've really stuck.

[Guest]

What’s really fun is moving in the opposite direction from your spouse. 

[J-rap]

9 hours ago, lovinmyboys said:

I think where I live now, people will say their views, but in general they do it in a respectful way because they know people on the other side. I have no problem with that.

I am worried about people assuming everyone is on the same side as them, and then not being as careful with their words and using more inflammatory language. Then I have trouble keeping my mouth shut because what they are saying likely isn’t true. Especially when they talk about the other side’s beliefs and I feel like they exaggerate them or misstate them and I have trouble not saying “I don’t know anyone who actually believes that.”

Yeah, I get what you're saying because I think people often put me in a certain category of political beliefs because of other beliefs of mine, and then they're really surprised to learn that I'm not in that category.  It is hard to keep quiet then, so I try and weigh things...  Is it worth speaking out?  I might just say, "well maybe, or... maybe not."  Or, "Yeah, I get that, but on the other hand..."    It's rarely worth it to just angrily respond, but if they're ready listeners, I do love discussing and presenting counter arguments.

ETA:  I will say that for the most part, people in my area seem pretty respectful of each other's views.  I think we're pretty lucky.  

Edited May 19, 2019 by J-rap

[Guest]

BTW, I saw this map a couple months ago and I find it very interesting. I have to say it would influence my choices some if I were moving to another part of the country. 

[Scarlett]

Eh, you people should live in my shoes. Politically neutral in these times. Good times I tell ya. 

[Pen]

Nm

Edited May 20, 2019 by Pen

[J-rap]

It's been my belief that people will more and more migrate to parts of the country that align with their political beliefs.  Eventually this will end up in very large pockets of similar political beliefs.  I wonder how that would play out in the long term.  Especially interesting because it won't always depend on religious beliefs, cultural background, etc.

[Farrar]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

BTW, I saw this map a couple months ago and I find it very interesting. I have to say it would influence my choices some if I were moving to another part of the country. 

Fascinating. Like, apparently in Massachusetts and Florida, everyone hates everyone. In NC, no one hates anyone at all.

[Sneezyone]

35 minutes ago, J-rap said:

It's been my belief that people will more and more migrate to parts of the country that align with their political beliefs.  Eventually this will end up in very large pockets of similar political beliefs.  I wonder how that would play out in the long term.  Especially interesting because it won't always depend on religious beliefs, cultural background, etc.

 

I agree. I wonder how this will turn out, ultimately, in terms of power/control/governance. We already have a hollowing out (population wise) of rural and central parts of the country. Tyranny of the minority comes to mind. We haven't had the luxury of really choosing our location for so long but we definitely sought out locations that would not be hostile toward us or our beliefs.

[SereneHome]

51 minutes ago, Farrar said:

Fascinating. Like, apparently in Massachusetts and Florida, everyone hates everyone. In NC, no one hates anyone at all.

Don't know about Florida, but in MA everyone DRIVES like they hate everyone bc it seems they just want to kill them all 🙂

[Joker]

I live in a very red state where a wrong turn can take me to a confederate flag lined road (and it's not even the South!). It's not easy knowing my vote doesn't really count at all.  I usually just keep my thoughts to myself and only share with dh and dc. Thankfully, the four of us are all in agreement so it makes it a bit easier. 

The worst part at the moment though is our country's stance on prescription drugs, the elderly, and marijuana. My step dad is 80 and suffers every single day with pain. His doctor just cut him off from the only medicine that works and marijuana is not legal here. My 70 year old mother is now talking about trying to find it illegally and/or getting it from a border state where it's legal. It's so ridiculous this is where we're at. The CBD stuff allowed here does absolutely nothing for him. It has definitely made dh and I think harder about where we want to be settled in a few years. We definitely want it to be a state where access to something to alleviate pain in our old age is easily accessible. 

Edited May 20, 2019 by Joker

[SereneHome]

I live in New England.  My state is turning, I think (based on who we are electing), but my biggest problem is that it seems homeschooling community has very different political views than I am.  And after reading "if you vote for X, you must be the scum of the earth and can't be my friend" messages for awhile now, I am beginning to get used to the idea that I won't have good friends here. On top of that, I am not a Christian, so that separates me even further.

And while I do keep my mouth shut most of the time, I know that any "relationships" i have are very superficial bc if any of them knew my real views - they would spit in my face

fun times!

[klmama]

I just checked out the book Them: Why We Hate Each Other and How to Heal.  Has anyone read it?

[Happy2BaMom]

4 hours ago, Quill said:

BTW, I saw this map a couple months ago and I find it very interesting. I have to say it would influence my choices some if I were moving to another part of the country. 

 

Boy, the methodology they used for this map seems suspect to me.  The survey firm created a profile and then projected that onto the country as a whole (IOW, the map isn’t based on actual surveys of the different parts of the country). They say they interviewed 2,000 people to create profiles, but I don’t think that # of interviews is a sufficient sample size to reflect the whole country.  (And perhaps it is accurate....but it troubles me because it gives the impression that it’s based on solid data as opposed to a projection of what they assume to be true.). 

As for the topic at hand, dh and I own property in a beautiful but very extreme political area (referring to both the severity of the views and politicians elected), and we’ve decided to not settle there largely because of it. 

I am in a minority where we live now, but people are respectful and don’t delve into political topics in general. I have good friends on the “other” side. I respect and like them. This area isn’t on the retirement list for other reasons, but the people are good and I don’t concern myself with their politics.

I just can’t do crazy/extreme long-term for retirement. Life is too short and I don’t want to spend my last years on earth feeling depressed. 

[kiwik]

12 hours ago, Heatherwith4 said:

 

Red is Republican and Blue is Democrat. 

That would be why I get confused - it is the opposite.

[Tanaqui]

13 hours ago, kdsuomi said:

This is the divisiveness people are talking about. You would feel unsafe as a woman and a Jew? You are aware that there are women, Jews, and even people of color who are conservatives and feel perfectly safe? Painting with that broad brush is the problem. 

 

Are you aware that in the US, violent and non-violent crimes against Jews have dramatically increased in the past few years? For crying out loud, two synagogues have been attacked in the past seven months!

I can't see how any Jewish person can feel "perfectly safe" with those facts. Indeed, I have many Jewish friends, and *all* of them have spoken extensively about how unsafe they feel right now. (Admittedly, none of them are conservatives, but I don't think that the anti-Semites of the world care about that.)

Pointing out that people who share your religion/ethnicity are increasingly targeted is not the problem.

Edited May 20, 2019 by Tanaqui

[sassenach]

On 5/18/2019 at 9:19 PM, lovinmyboys said:

I have lived several places in my life and I feel like I have always had friends with various political views. For sure where we live now is a “purple” area and I like it that way. We are getting ready to move somewhere that I believe is much less purple and has one more dominant view. Can anyone share experiences living where their views are the minority? Do people know what you believe? Has it even affected your life much? Do you feel accepted and part of the community?

I’m a semi-conservative living in an 80%+ liberal county. You can only imagine after the last election... 

Most people assume that I am liberal so if politics comes up, which it doesn’t really that often, I either have to out myself or let it go. 

Stay off of NextDoor. 

[May]

I live in Fairfax County, VA, which is definitely becoming more liberal. I’m a conservative but respect others point of view. I’m finding that respect only seems to go one way though🙁I’ve been called vile names because of my views on the 1st and 2nd amendment. If the topic of religion comes up, that can go south quickly too. My DH is a retired chaplain/pastor of a confessional church body. Unless I’m with friends, I never discuss politics or religion.😔 

[Frances]

1 hour ago, sassenach said:

I’m a semi-conservative living in an 80%+ liberal county. You can only imagine after the last election... 

Most people assume that I am liberal so if politics comes up, which it doesn’t really that often, I either have to out myself or let it go. 

Stay off of NextDoor. 

Interesting. I live in a very blue state and when talk on the local NextDoor turns political, it’s almost always from the extreme right. It’s one thing to read such white male Christian nationalist and anti everything else comments in national publications or news stories, but pretty darn frightening to know these kind of people live in your community. This is a recent phenomenon and it still amazes me that people will post such things using their real name and location.

[Pawz4me]

13 minutes ago, May said:

I’m finding that respect only seems to go one way though🙁

Not singling you out, just using this as a jumping off --

It seems to me that many people--regardless of which "side" they're on--feel that respect only goes one way.

And I think the "why" of that is something worth pondering.

[OH_Homeschooler]

1 hour ago, sassenach said:

I’m a semi-conservative living in an 80%+ liberal county. You can only imagine after the last election... 

Most people assume that I am liberal so if politics comes up, which it doesn’t really that often, I either have to out myself or let it go. 

Stay off of NextDoor. 

 

I felt the same way when I was a liberal living in red land. People would just assume you felt the same way as they did and would go off on some rant about Obama or whatever, and expect you to agree. Which I suppose makes sense. If you live somewhere and MOST people think like you do, then statistically, you probably do agree. It is frustrating though. I tended to just nod along in the hopes of shortening the conversation.  

NextDoor hasn't been an issue for me though...wherever I've lived, it has been a place to post about lost or found pets. 

 

[LucyStoner]

18 minutes ago, Frances said:

Interesting. I live in a very blue state and when talk on the local NextDoor turns political, it’s almost always from the extreme right. It’s one thing to read such white male Christian nationalist and anti everything else comments in national publications or news stories, but pretty darn frightening to know these kind of people live in your community. This is a recent phenomenon and it still amazes me that people will post such things using their real name and location.

 

Yep, where I live really couldn’t be more liberal and a goodly portion of the Next Door political conversations are not just right of center but all the way over to right wing conspiracies.  Almost the only exception would be how some people feel about homelessness and race.  On THOSE issues, there’s a broad mix of liberals and conservatives espousing the same fairly extreme and unkind views and a mix of the rest of us who are like “last I checked criminalizing poverty seems like a shitty thing to do, also, BTW you can be politically liberal and racist. Check it out.”

I stay off Next Door because I just don’t need to explain “what was that boom” one.more.time.  I live in suburbs where there has been ONE murder in 7 years but to hear the people on Next Door tell it, we live in a veritable war zone and every car backfiring or idiot kid with a firecracker is someone coming to KILL THEM.  

[Valley Girl]

26 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

Not singling you out, just using this as a jumping off --

It seems to me that many people--regardless of which "side" they're on--feel that respect only goes one way.

And I think the "why" of that is something worth pondering.

That is a REALLY good question. Not for this particular thread, of course, but a really good observation to ponder.  I have noticed the same tendency.