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TEA discussions?

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I am mid forties and most of the women I hang around do not discuss their TEA time, but I have occasionally ended up in a group of women where it is fairly normal even around people they just met.  I am just curious how normal these types of discussions are among real life acquaintances or friendships of the hive members.

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I don’t discuss TEA time. My homeschooling circle doesn’t normally discuss that, either, except for once in a while on a special topic, like if someone was talking about NFP or something. 

I do have a different circle of friends who are more likely to discuss TEA. I don’t participate in those discussions. I find them weird. 

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Not in my circles at all. Late 50’s. 

However, for years Dh has been the unofficial counselor for the guys who work in the test lab and they tell him all kinds of crazy stuff.  

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Not in my circles.  Not since college young adult stage anyway.  But USA still seems pretty repressed about TEA .  

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not normal in any circle I travel - and I can be around 30somethings to 50 somethings.

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Not normal in my circles. I'm in my mid-50's now. I have a small group of very close friends. We've all known each other since at least high school (some of us since first grade). But even so . . . nope, not something we discuss.

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I don't have a circle, but occasionally with my bff if one of us is having issues (mental, physical, emotional, marital, etc.). I'm 45 exactly!

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It really depends on the group. My closest friend and I have discussed TeA quite a bit. One set of friends, we don't necessarily talk about our personal TeA life but we do talk about general TeA occasionally as well. Home school group, only in the context of  Natural Family Planning because we are all Catholics who use it as our birth control method. So, we'll discuss the struggles with it and how it can affect the bedroom situation. 

Even in my family of origin TeA is talked about like normal conversation at times. I'm 32.

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nm

Edited by ```

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Very lightly discussed a few times with a group of women I’ve known for 15 years.  For 7 of those 15 years, we would meet twice a month without fail.  Once in a great while, we’d discuss it a little but, but not in much detail—it was mostly general comments about differing interest levels.  

When I was younger, some coworkers were very open about it and discussed details out loud with everyone listening in, whether we wanted to listen or not.

I mostly do not want to discuss tea with anyone.  I don’t want to know the details of my friend’s tea.  

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Nope. I'm 39 and it isn't something that's really brought up. For one, I know all my friends' husbands, and I for sure don't need any details about their TeA habits. Yikes. 

Now, 1-on-1 with my closest friend, I have had brief conversations about birth control or things like that, not-super-personal. 

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I work with testosterone filled young male firefighters who think they are God’s gift to the world.  I hear a whole lot about their amazing TEA lives.

Since I can still remember being in my 20s, I believe about none of it.

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Also in my 40's. Discussed in some circles and not others. But not all my circles are people just like me.

I think it's healthy and normal to talk about it and I like that I have some friends I can discuss it with. But also, I certainly respect the "we don't discuss this" vibe in some circles - not just tea, but other stuff. I mean, I have some circles where people would be shocked to be discussing TV shows or politics or all kinds of things. Sometimes a circle has a general boundary, which is okay.

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I was mostly just curious partly because I am one of the youngest in the room and I think all of the women were married.  It just seemed strange to me.  If a friend was having trouble in that area a one on one conversation wouldn't be so weird.  The group wasn't homeschoolers, it was a group of neighbors who are home during the day.

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Mid 40s, now divorced, but very rarely with a close friend would tea come up but very general terms.  Never in a group.

I am not opposed to talking about it 1:1 to help someone out, etc.  I just don't need details in general every day conversations.

 

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Not in my circles!  I've discussed only with very, very close friends who I've known for years.

But, I guess I don't think it's horrible for a group of women to discuss it together.  I suppose some people are just more open about those things.  To each her own, I guess!

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nope never discussed ever with people who I mix with

HOWEVER my neighbour rang me up the other week to tell me that my rooster crowing is interfering with him having relations with his girlfriend - Seeing as his girlfriend is currently doing some volunteer work in Africa for a few months and the neighbour  is my neighbour right here in Australia I was pretty speechless for a few seconds.. ...

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I'm 50 and I have one good friend with whom we've discussed it 1-1 yes, but not in any kind of group situation.  This friend is someone I trust 100% and I know she keeps confidences.  Even though there are many things we do not agree on, I can't think of a topic we haven't discussed.  

This same friend did recently have an experience where she was invited to a Saturday morning knitting group, and there in the restaurant they were all sitting with their knitting, the conversation turned to the problems menopausal women experience - she's very open-minded, but was quite shocked at how detailed and personal it got - especially in that setting!

Edited by Hannah

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As a general concept, occasionally. Maybe with a few winks and nods that indicate personal anecdotes.  Once in a blue moon, I’ll be in a situation with an acquaintance that gets way TMI, imo, and I have no idea what to do with that!

 I have no issue with the topic, but prefer to leave specifics out, tyvm. That’s why I miss out on some great movies and television that barely fall short of being porn. My imagination works fine. I don’t need to see everything.

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My best friend will pretty much discuss it openly, and with her I don't mind hearing it.  But in general, no, please don't tell me your business.  

How much conversation are we talking about?  Like details of what they do behind closed doors, or just a "I can't be expected to work, take care of kids, and put out all the time!"  (this is actually what a co-worker said to me recently.) .  It was pretty benign and didn't bother me, but I don't want any details please!

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Depends on the group. With my very best girlfriends that we've known each other from our early married days through 20 years of raising kids and we all know each other's husbands and ups and downs and medical problems and parenting issues and faith hangups ... absolutely we discuss tea and not infrequently! Generally we don't share the gory details, although I have had more intimate 1:1 talks with some of them about specific issues from time to time, but sometimes we do, esp when the story is too funny not to share 🤣

In more general groups where I don't know people as well, like my hsing groups or my Bible study group (where we discuss intimate emotions but not tea) ... no. That would be weird.

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11 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

nope never discussed ever with people who I mix with

HOWEVER my neighbour rang me up the other week to tell me that my rooster crowing is interfering with him having relations with his girlfriend - Seeing as his girlfriend is currently doing some volunteer work in Africa for a few months and the neighbour  is my neighbour right here in Australia I was pretty speechless for a few seconds.. ...

If you can't hear the person on the other end of the line because of a rooster, I'm sure phone based tea drinking is very tricky?

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We do off and on. Usually it’s not specifics, but we talk about things like changes as we age and being creative when kids are around. It’s usually positive and light-hearted - things like, “Kids are spending the night with friends so I think hubby and I will stay in tonight,” with a grin. We celebrated with a friend when she got the okay to brew tea with her husband after a long period of medical issues. I wouldn’t say it’s a frequent topic, but none of us would think twice about talking about it either. 

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Generally speaking, no.  I am just not a person that discusses private things or bodily functions.  

I have no problems with general references, or things like 'kids are gone, so we are going to enjoy the evening.' or similar.

And if I have a specific problem, I might ask some things in an anonymous situation.  But generally speaking, I just prefer to keep things private.

19 hours ago, Pen said:

 But USA still seems pretty repressed about TEA .

But I don't like the implication that people who don't want to discuss it with those outside the people they are engaged in the act with are "repressed."  DH and I can discuss it and we are open with each other.  Not being open with others about something that is really pretty initimate is doesn't equate to "repressed."

 

Everyone has their things they are private about.  I am completely open about many other aspects of my life.  What I do with my spouse in our bed just isn't one of those things.  And that's ok....not "repressed."

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1 hour ago, happysmileylady said:

<snip>

But I don't like the implication that people who don't want to discuss it with those outside the people they are engaged in the act with are "repressed."  DH and I can discuss it and we are open with each other.  Not being open with others about something that is really pretty initimate is doesn't equate to "repressed."

Everyone has their things they are private about.  I am completely open about many other aspects of my life.  What I do with my spouse in our bed just isn't one of those things.  And that's ok....not "repressed."

Yeah. 

I have talked about it with people in pre-marital counseling situations. Among friends, it's not generally discussed though sometimes in one-on-one as part of working out a specific issue. Like a newly post-menopausal woman asking a close friend who has already been through it for help/advice. 

To me, it's a private thing. I really don't want to hear the details about someone else. Been there with work colleagues who talked about their one-night stands in great detail. Not my thing <shrug>.  If that's repressed, so be it.  (But I don't believe it is.)

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2 minutes ago, marbel said:

Yeah. 

I have talked about it with people in pre-marital counseling situations. Among friends, it's not generally discussed though sometimes in one-on-one as part of working out a specific issue. Like a newly post-menopausal woman asking a close friend who has already been through it for help/advice. 

To me, it's a private thing. I really don't want to hear the details about someone else. Been there with work colleagues who talked about their one-night stands in great detail. Not my thing <shrug>.  If that's repressed, so be it.  (But I don't believe it is.)

Please and thank you! lol.  If it makes you happy....great.   If there's a problem you are looking for general advice on, I will offer what I can in my somewhat limited experience, and if I can't, I will suggest a better option for advice, if I have one.  But to just generally discuss.....honestly, I already know that most folks on earth engage in the act.  I just don't need to discuss with others, don't want to hear about others, just for the sake of the discussion.

 

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With my church family quite a bit we are all really close and really open. We are mostly in our mid-thirties but not all.  We have a passion party every year or two they are fun.  

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13 minutes ago, rebcoola said:

With my church family quite a bit we are all really close and really open. We are mostly in our mid-thirties but not all.  We have a passion party every year or two they are fun.  

*whispers* 

what is a passion party?

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1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said:

*whispers* 

what is a passion party?

Adult items - toys, massage oils, clothing....

I've been to a few. Gah, people can be so vulgar. And those were female-only parties. I declined the invitation my husband and I received for a co-ed one.

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1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said:

*whispers* 

what is a passion party?

Its like a tupperware party but with toys, lubes, aids etc.. we always have a blast.   The ordering part is always private in another room.  

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Occassionally. I find it really hard to figure out where the boundaries are in these types of conversations. It's one thing to admit that hubby wants more or less tea then I want to prepare it's another thing altogether to discuss ways to brew the most satisfying cup or alternative but satisfying beverages. I just don't know where the lines are with any given friend so they make me uncomfortable to get into.

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My social circle has a wide age range from right at 40 to early 60s, with most in their mid 50s. Sex life isn't discussed. I don't think it's something that's been discussed among my group of friends once I passed my 20s.

Edited by Lady Florida.

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My sister hosted a passion party once.  She invited our mom, our other sister, my brother's wife, my SIL, her SIL's....it was a bit of a bust.  All of us were like, thank you, no, not discussing your brother's/son's/DAD'S sex life with YOU! lol  I think she felt bad, but I felt more like....I slept in the room directly under my parents bedroom for like 3 yrs.  I really truly do NOT need to know more about my parent's tEa parties lol.  

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I think not everyone who doesn't discuss tea with friends is repressed about tea. It doesn't have to be your cup of tea to talk about it. But that the US is absolutely less comfortable with tea discussions than many other nations. And that's reflected in a lack of basic tea ed knowledge among American adults.

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