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Carrie12345

A bit of validation I didn’t know I needed

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I started homeschooling 12 years ago, very much against my husband’s (and ex’s) wishes. Dh wound up getting on board and eventually became a true believer, lol.

My young adult son still maintains that homeschooling (only 5th-7th for him) was mostly bad, but he’s let on about some of the things he loved about it in the past couple of years.  My stb 17yo has lengthy lists of complaints about homeschooling, but she peppers her rants with “I’m not saying I want to go to public school” and “Please don’t put me in school.” They’re not exactly the biggest hs fans, but they’ve survived.

I do not homeschool with the idea that my kids should necessarily love it or be grateful for it, anymore than I would expect them to show me appreciation for putting them in school if I had done that. (Not that it isn’t important to appreciate getting an education, but kids!) But it has been frustrating to listen to a lot of complaints over the years.

The other night, my stb 16yo actually told me, verbatim, “I’m glad I was homeschooled.” 😮 And this was after we had just gone over what she’s going to need to do over the next two years to graduate on time, so I expected her to be negative.

On top of that, my stb 12yo just inquired about getting his own laptop... so he can work on his schoolwork better! This is the kid who initiated my pivot to much (much, much) more relaxed schooling because he was so resistant to anything that looked like school. For years, I’ve been worried that my “experiment” was going to bomb, but he’s been asking for more formal-ish lessons here and there over the past few months, wanting to improve different skills.

We have been in a bit of a rut with schooling lately, and there’s been a lot of difficult life stuff and hectic schedules going on, so I’m pretty ecstatic to be getting a little validation right now. I’ve been wondering how I’m going to make it through 9 more years of homeschooling.  A little pep in my step was much needed!!!

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I know just how you feel!

Everyone thought it was weird when I started homeschooling oldest ds.  And dh's family has been under the impression for the last 20 years that I'm some sort of Mommie Dearest, a super strict scary mom. 😄 So that probably didn't help.  But at least homeschooling wasn't as weird in dh's eyes as we went on and around last month, I had a great weekend where ds(20yo) told me how glad he was that I homeschooled him, and ds(9yo) got into a conversation with a mom friend who told him I was a good teacher.  He looked at her like she had three heads and said, "I know." 😄 
 

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My kids view homeschooling as the lesser of two evils. 😛  They don't like doing the necessary work...but they really don't want to go to public school. Maybe some day they'll be able to look back and see how awesome it was!

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Not all school experiences are created equal. People often focus on if the person wanted to be home schooled but no one ever asks about those who public schooled or private schooled. I was in a private school for a few months and hated it. My siblings were in a Catholic school for a year or so and they hated it.  I loved my elementary school, but my parents moved and the grade school I went to after that was awful. I think a parent who cared and who listened to their child and was involved would have intervened and potentially home schooled.  My oldest sister says she cannot figure out what our mom was thinking moving us when my mom had to move at a similar age and always resented it. I feel like I would have been way happier and more successful (not just in career, but rather in how I feel about life and my life) if I had not been forced to attend that grade school after we moved. 

 

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Edited by Janeway

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My kids have a variety of homeschool feelings. 

Dd1 is grateful I didn't send her to school.

Dd2 considers herself to have learned nothing K-6 - 'you just took us on nature walks' - and rescued by 'real school'. I can't tell you how much this peeves me - but it's the narrative she prefers, so I bite my tongue.

Ds prefers it as the lesser of two evils, although he's had enough now (as have I!) and wants to do distance ed. 

So I empathise with being low on validation, lol. It's been a thankless task. And i am glad you are getting some validation now!!

 

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