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Curfews for young adults


Scarlett
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14 hours ago, StellaM said:

Exams that don't end till 10.30 pm ???!!!

That's beyond my ken. 

 

 

13 hours ago, StellaM said:

 

Oh my, that is very sad for students.

I absolutely could not complete an exam to the best of my ability going on for 11pm!

Why so late ? Are there not adequate rooms to timetable everything at a decent hour ?

My husband teaches a class that starts at 7pm, and it is a several hour class. Others start even later at some schools. Also, his school does month long intensives rather than normal terms, so you do one or two courses at a time, many hours a week. So yes, he has exams go until 11pm. 

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3 minutes ago, Pen said:

 

I don’t think you could have read the article in time it took from my post to your reply.  If you read it and still don’t understand, I’ll try to explain.

 

Actually, I did read it. It wasn’t exactly rocket science. 🙂

There is no need for you to explain it to me, but thanks for offering. 

You seem to be taking this whole college curfew thing a lot more seriously than I am. I was only pointing out that I hadn’t even realized that they existed, and that I thought it was interesting that some people consider 18yos to be adults who should be independent and not be assisted by their parents, yet there are other people who are fine with the idea of a 21 or 22yo college senior still having to be in their rooms by 10:30 or 11:00 at night because their university has a curfew.

 

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Military academies are a totally different ballgame. Comparing them to your average 4-year university, or even a 19yo living at home, is apples to oranges, really.

I mean, West Point also has everyone wearing the same clothes every day, but that doesn't mean they don't think the candidates are too immature to pick out their own clothes. And that's only the tip of the iceberg.

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15 minutes ago, Pen said:

I think my university which had neither curfew nor quiet hours was unhealthy, and if I knew then what I know now about the importance of sleep, I would not have gone there.

 I would not encourage my son toward a curfew college as neither military nor religious would be a good fit for him.

But quiet hours would be of importance to me.

 

Not me!  🙂

When I was in college, I still felt pretty invincible, so I never even thought about the importance of sleep or looking for a school that had quiet hours. I mean, yes, I suppose it would have been healthier to have gotten to bed early every night, but I had a great time in college so even if I could, I wouldn’t go back and change any of those late nights with my friends. 

I have always been a night owl, so if I had known a particular college had a restrictive curfew, it would have been off my list!  😀

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I am fine with the idea of a college having a dorm with a curfew.  You make a choice at attend that school and in doing so agree to their rules.  I was free to choose housing off campus or go to another college.  I was an adult that made a decision and it wasn't a big deal to me to have a curfew.  There are choices we make all the time to join groups or organizations that have rules we agree to follow.  When DH goes to scout camp in the summer there is a lights out time for him.  Not exactly a curfew, but it acts pretty much the same way.

Now there were some other rules at college that I was not as thrilled with, but followed them because I had agreed to do so of my own freewill.

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7 minutes ago, EmseB said:

Military academies are a totally different ballgame. Comparing them to your average 4-year university, or even a 19yo living at home, is apples to oranges, really.

I mean, West Point also has everyone wearing the same clothes every day, but that doesn't mean they don't think the candidates are too immature to pick out their own clothes. And that's only the tip of the iceberg.

 

I agree. I think of West Point as being in its own category and not as a “regular” college. Military academies are entirely different environments than regular colleges, so their strict rules make sense in that context. 

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11 minutes ago, Loowit said:

I am fine with the idea of a college having a dorm with a curfew.  You make a choice at attend that school and in doing so agree to their rules.  I was free to choose housing off campus or go to another college.  I was an adult that made a decision and it wasn't a big deal to me to have a curfew.  There are choices we make all the time to join groups or organizations that have rules we agree to follow.  When DH goes to scout camp in the summer there is a lights out time for him.  Not exactly a curfew, but it acts pretty much the same way.

Now there were some other rules at college that I was not as thrilled with, but followed them because I had agreed to do so of my own freewill.

 

Absolutely! If you know about the rules when you decide to attend a particular school, I agree that you should abide by them. It wouldn’t be fair to the other students if you were always coming in late at night and making a lot of noise at all hours if you knew the rules prohibited it. 

 

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5 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

 

Actually, I did read it. It wasn’t exactly rocket science. 🙂

There is no need for you to explain it to me, but thanks for offering. 

You seem to be taking this whole college curfew thing a lot more seriously than I am. I was only pointing out that I hadn’t even realized that they existed, and that I thought it was interesting that some people consider 18yos to be adults who should be independent and not be assisted by their parents, yet there are other people who are fine with the idea of a 21 or 22yo college senior still having to be in their rooms by 10:30 or 11:00 at night because their university has a curfew.

 

 

In my case it isn’t the “curfew” issue per se that I am taking so seriously.  

But I take the sleeping issue very seriously, both for the young adult and the rest of the family.

 

I found this book eye opening and attitude changing.

from book description; 

“Matthew Walker has made abundantly clear that sleep is one of the most important but least understood aspects of our life. Until very recently, science had no answer to the question of why we sleep, or what good it served, or why we suffer such devastating health consequences when it is absent....

Within the brain, sleep enriches a diversity of functions, including our ability to learn, memorize, and make logical decisions. It recalibrates our emotions, restocks our immune system, fine-tunes our metabolism, and regulates our appetite.”

 

 

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Just now, Pen said:

 

In my case it isn’t the “curfew” issue per se that I am taking so seriously.  

But I take the sleeping issue very seriously, both for the young adult and the rest of the family.

 

I found this book eye opening and attitude changing.

from book description; 

“Matthew Walker has made abundantly clear that sleep is one of the most important but least understood aspects of our life. Until very recently, science had no answer to the question of why we sleep, or what good it served, or why we suffer such devastating health consequences when it is absent....

Within the brain, sleep enriches a diversity of functions, including our ability to learn, memorize, and make logical decisions. It recalibrates our emotions, restocks our immune system, fine-tunes our metabolism, and regulates our appetite.”

 

 

 

I’m not disagreeing with you that sleep is important. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t have been a priority for me when I was in college or in my 20s and 30s. I try to encourage my ds19 to get enough sleep (and sometimes I’m kind of a nag about it!) but I also recognize that at his age, most kids aren’t all that concerned about the health aspects of it. It just isn’t a big deal to them, and I think that’s normal at that age. 

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24 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

 

Not me!  🙂

When I was in college, I still felt pretty invincible, so I never even thought about the importance of sleep or looking for a school that had quiet hours. I mean, yes, I suppose it would have been healthier to have gotten to bed early every night, but I had a great time in college so even if I could, I wouldn’t go back and change any of those late nights with my friends. 

I have always been a night owl, so if I had known a particular college had a restrictive curfew, it would have been off my list!  😀

 

I went to one conservative Christian school that had a curfew, midnight for girls and 12:30am for boys (so they could walk the girls home and then get to their dorms)  Yes, it was sexist and no, I couldn't deal for long, so I left.  I did go to another Christian college, but without any curfews.

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3 hours ago, EmseB said:

Military academies are a totally different ballgame. Comparing them to your average 4-year university, or even a 19yo living at home, is apples to oranges, really.

I mean, West Point also has everyone wearing the same clothes every day, but that doesn't mean they don't think the candidates are too immature to pick out their own clothes. And that's only the tip of the iceberg.

Curfew for military members in a training status is pretty normal.  We had a curfew when I was stationed for training after Basic. It's about military rigor and discipline, and military rigor and discipline are definitely different than civilian rigor and discipline. 

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3 hours ago, Catwoman said:

 

I’m not disagreeing with you that sleep is important. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t have been a priority for me when I was in college or in my 20s and 30s. I try to encourage my ds19 to get enough sleep (and sometimes I’m kind of a nag about it!) but I also recognize that at his age, most kids aren’t all that concerned about the health aspects of it. It just isn’t a big deal to them, and I think that’s normal at that age. 

 

I’m not disagreeing with you that young adults aren’t concerned about it.  

 

 

I think I probably do disagree with some people on this thread that if young adults are living at home, their idea of “normal” should be what drives the bus of household rules.  

 

I live in a state where pot is legal for adult recreation. I’m not sure though that even if my young adult thinks it is normal, desirable, and that I’m an old fogey if I don’t allow it — since other parents do — I’m going to be allowing it in my home.  I understand that the prevailing view in my area is in favor of it and that I’ll be odd woman out and perhaps causing social stigma for my child to not allow him the adult right to partake at will.   I see night time quiet rules as similar, though with room for flexibility depending on jobs and other needs.  

 

(Eta:  I know how parents handle these things differs hugely.  And probably geographical location matters.  For example, When I was in high school in New York City, being out late for late events was common.  Very accepted.  )

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