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lgliser

My kids are the only kids...

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I sometimes worry that having the stricter budgets makes things too individualized. I also want all of them to learn to just take care of each other too. That we are a family and in this together.  That things aren't always fair, etc. After all, we are a family unit.  So there are draw backs to our way of doing things. This is where just paying because you're my child is a benefit. Of course, they can't always comprehend how much things cost if they aren't paying. 

I find they help each other with chores and other things if someone is busy so I think they are getting that somehow.

 

 

 

Edited by frogger
Grammar

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We pay for family outings that we initiate.  My teenager has to pay for entertainment with his friends that he initiates.  We require chores and we pay allowance, but these are not linked.  

We pay enough allowance so they have enough to make choices and learn about budgeting but not so much that they don’t have to pick and choose or learn from their mistakes.  

In addition to their allowances they have money from gifts + money they earn different ways.  

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I think the way you're handling it is fine.  I've known a couple families who institute a 10% tithe and a 10% chore tax, collected before they get paid allowance.  Family outings initiated by the parents are paid for by the chore tax.  Outings with friends are paid for by the kid. 

@Quill is hardcore!  It's never occurred to me to have my kids pay for friends birthday presents!

ETA: One of the families that does this isn't religious so their "tithe" goes into a charity account and at the end of the year they vote as a family how to donate the money.  Sometimes they do Angel Tree, sometimes they sponsor a well in some developing country, etc.

Edited by Katy
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17 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

My oldest makes her own money writing scripts for Roblox. 30-50 bucks a month paid in amazon gift cards. The only thing I provide is lunch money. I have never paid for chores. That’s just the price of living as a family.

 

Side note:  My DS would like to hear more about writing scripts for Roblox.  🙂

 

Wanna share?

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1 hour ago, Katy said:

I think the way you're handling it is fine.  I've known a couple families who institute a 10% tithe and a 10% chore tax, collected before they get paid allowance.  Family outings initiated by the parents are paid for by the chore tax.  Outings with friends are paid for by the kid. 

@Quill is hardcore!  It's never occurred to me to have my kids pay for friends birthday presents!

ETA: One of the families that does this isn't religious so their "tithe" goes into a charity account and at the end of the year they vote as a family how to donate the money.  Sometimes they do Angel Tree, sometimes they sponsor a well in some developing country, etc.

 

From about age 8 and up, my boys have had to pay for gifts for family and friends from their allowance.  They really get into finding things people will like.  

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On 3/21/2019 at 3:17 PM, Catwoman said:

I’ll be the lone dissenter and say that we have always paid for the kinds of things being described in this thread, as did the parents of my ds’s friends. We also never required our ds to do chores, although he has always been fine with helping out if we asked him. 🙂

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to this. 

 

We almost always paid for social things. I wanted them out and being so social, so yes, we paid. They might choose to spend more than we gave them on extra snacks or something. Ours did do chores but not an exorbitant amount. I think it's a personal thing too, no right or wrong answer. Mine are now responsible young adults. 

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1 hour ago, Katy said:

I think the way you're handling it is fine.  I've known a couple families who institute a 10% tithe and a 10% chore tax, collected before they get paid allowance.  Family outings initiated by the parents are paid for by the chore tax.  Outings with friends are paid for by the kid. 

@Quill is hardcore!  It's never occurred to me to have my kids pay for friends birthday presents!

ETA: One of the families that does this isn't religious so their "tithe" goes into a charity account and at the end of the year they vote as a family how to donate the money.  Sometimes they do Angel Tree, sometimes they sponsor a well in some developing country, etc.

One thing I considered a perk of being in the homeschool community is a lower amount of social obligatory spending. My niece, for example, had this HUGE clique of girls. It was like, twenty girls, who all invited each other to their parties and the “correct” gift was $20 in a card. I just remember thinking that wasn’t going to fly with me. (It didn’t go that way partly because groups of homeschoolers are smaller and partly because most homeschoolers we know are not elaborate.) 

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