Jump to content

Menu

Boys and pierced ears


DawnM
 Share

Recommended Posts

My youngest turned 15 this month.  He told us tonight that he wants to pierce his ears.  My husband said, "You are too clean cut for that."  and that was the end of the conversation.  

Do you equate pierced ears in men with not being clean cut?  

I was a little surprised by DH's response.   We will discuss more another day.

I ordered DS some magnetic earrings for men for him to wear for a while and see if he really wants to do it, and we can revisit this summer.

Would you let your teen son get his ears pierced?

Would you consider it not clean cut?

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would be okay with it.

Dh had a pierced ear when we started dating back in the 80s.🙂It's been closed up for a few decades now.

Neither of my boys have pierced ears. They were pretty clean cut as kids, but now they are 18 & 20 and both have long hair.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was really trendy for a long time for boys to have pierced ears. Now, even in a college town, I rarely see boys with pierced ears. Most guys I know who did have a piercing let it close, but I wouldn't say any of those guys weren't "clean cut". I can't see any of my boys wanting to pierce their ears, but I'd probably say they could do it when they turned 18.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, DawnM said:

Would you let your teen son get his ears pierced?

Would you consider it not clean cut?

Yes.

I don't think it has anything to do with being clean-cut or not. 🙂 

ETA: If we're talking about just plain piercing. The type that enlarges the hole quite a bit over time (anyone know the name for that?) would seem to be too permanent to me.

Edited by MercyA
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don’t think I’d consider it “clean cut”—but it’s reversible and a good age to try on new roles and styles within reversibility limits.  So I think I’d probably allow it.  Though I ‘d also be presuming the reversible type , not a huge donut like hole...

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As long as the kids are old enough to take care of their recently pierced ears, I don't care what gender they are. When dd20 got hers pierced, ds would have been around 10 or 12. I offered for him to get his done too since he was with us. 

I don't think of it as having anything to do with how clean cut anyone is. It stands out to me more, when boys have both pierced, but that is because I am a child of the 70-80s (when male single piercings were common). I don't care that they do (or don't) have pierced ears, , it just catches my eye easier when there are two. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like it for men! And don't think a modest pierced earring equals "not clean cut".

I gifted DH with a diamond stud for getting his ear pierced the year our first DS was born (their birthdays are just 4 days apart). Even at that time, over 25 years ago, ear piercing for men was for all kinds of guys -- not just for "not clean cut"... And yes, both then AND now, DH is VERY clean-cut AND conservative -- at the time of getting the pierced ear, he worked on the fire dept., had a buzz cut haircut, and no facial hair. (:D 

Sort of like wacky hair dos and wacky hair colors -- a pierced ear is NOT a big deal, and it would NOT be a hill *I* would die on with my teenage sons. Things that I would discuss with a teen and not give permission for while still living at home: a pierced tongue (all kinds of bacteria and infection issues), ear gauges / plugs, and tattoos (very difficult to restore the ear or remove the tat if you change your mind); and branding (yes, literally a branding iron to the skin to make a design -- is very damaging to body tissues). By comparison, pierced ears seem to be very tame.

Edited by Lori D.
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm from the generation and the part of the country AND the social .... not class, but...I can't think of the word...that disagrees with male piercings. 

It's funny how we are influenced by the core beliefs we grew up with! Sometimes they are hard to overcome. 

I like a single piercing better than both ears, for men. It looks too feminine for me. But that is how I grew up. I know, intellectually, piercing has nothing to do with the Inner Man. 

I felt kind of the same way when my dd wanted to get a cartilege (spelling?) piercing this summer--that it was somehow associated with a different group or a different way of being...again, I don't really have the word I'm looking for. But dd is a straight A student, works super hard, is in college, is a Christian, is not anything that could be interpreted in our social "group" as being in any way negative. It's just funny to me how we get set in our ways about stuff. Yes, she got it done, and no, I don't like it, but she challenges me to let go of assumptions of a person's character or identity just because of how they look. It is a good challenge. 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it potentially limits some work opportunities here (police - maybe others). I think you aren’t allowed to have “non-standard” piercings - I’m not sure if that would include asymmetric ear piercing.  But I think the wording is intentionally vague to allow scope for discretion.  I don’t think I’d associate it with clean cut but I wouldnt forbid it.  Dh might.  It doesn’t seem like that big a deal.

*edited because I can’t spell 

Edited by Ausmumof3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Farrar said:

What the heck does that even mean? If your kid was sloppy, would it be okay?

My kids are welcome to pierce. Any time after... I don't know... age 10 or so. So far, neither of them have ever expressed an interest.

 

Pretty sure he thinks we are the Cleaver family.......in his HEAD! 😂 . Funny since our oldest has hair down past his shoulders and has for about 10 years now (he is 21.)    

I just dont' think long hair or earrings is that big of a deal.  I have already told them no tattoos until after age 18, and only with their own money.  So far, they all say they don't want them, but, you never know.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, MercyA said:

Yes.

I don't think it has anything to do with being clean-cut or not. 🙂 

ETA: If we're talking about just plain piercing. The type that enlarges the hole quite a bit over time (anyone know the name for that?) would seem to be too permanent to me.

 

lobe gauging.  And no, he isn't doing that.  I think it has lost it's popularity and many are going in to have it sewn up.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sure, it doesn't bother me.  DH has one ear pierced.  Though he took the ring out a long time ago and I think it's closed up now.

Now, much like crazy hair or funky make up, I would discuss employment implications with him (as I would with my girls).  Even in today's world where these things are so much more accepted, there are still people in hiring positions that are going to take those things into account.  I was in a McDs drive through the other day and the worker had a bandaid on her nose that was super obviously covering up a nose piercing.  And how dumb did that look?!?!?  The tiny little stud that was so obvious under there would have look much better than that dumb bandaid.  But it did remind me that even at McDs, the boss might take an issue that sort of thing.  

Gauged ears, nope, not till you are legally able to do yourself and I would still make it clear that I disapprove.  Tattoos....I actually paid for DD23 to get one for her 17th birthday.  BUT, it was in an easily hidden place.  Never would I pay for or approve of a tattoo or some other permanent modification on the face, neck, hands, other clearly obvious sort of location.  

 

ETA: one other thing that I would discuss is the possibilities of infection and permanent scarring.  I have known people who have had non standard piercings that got infected and they had to take the piercing out and ended up with permanent scars.  

Edited by happysmileylady
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It doesn't bother me at all, and I don't equate it at all with not being clean cut -- for either men or women.

My ds had one ear pierced in high school.  I think it was a trendy thing to do.  He also had longish hair.  He was still clean cut.  🙂

He stopped wearing an earring in it after just a few years though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

 ETA: one other thing that I would discuss is the possibilities of infection and permanent scarring.  I have known people who have had non standard piercings that got infected and they had to take the piercing out and ended up with permanent scars.  

 

When I had my ears pierced, my father took me to the doctor's office and a doctor did it.  My dad was sure that was the most sterile thing to do, and I am sure he was correct, but my ear holes were never symmetrical and it bugs me to this day!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not quite sure what he'd mean by that either.  Other than somehow it doesn't seem to go with the rest of his "look". I can kind of see that - for a while the single piercing on men was in style, it was big for boys when I was a kid.  I think of it now as being really kind of out of style though, and rather than giving the impression of being cool, it seems  - IDK - kind of cheezy?

I am not crazy for piercings for boys, although I generally prefer two to one.  Ds9 keeps saying he wants one, and I have been putting him off, I've told him he has to cross the equator or go around the horn of Africa to wear an earring.  If he were 15 though, I'd probably just let him go ahead without much comment.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

50 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

When I had my ears pierced, my father took me to the doctor's office and a doctor did it.  My dad was sure that was the most sterile thing to do, and I am sure he was correct, but my ear holes were never symmetrical and it bugs me to this day!

Me too!  Mine were pierced in a doctor's office in the 70's and they're not symmetrical either.  It was a doctor who did it!  That seems so funny now.  My girls all had them done at places like Claire's and they are perfect.  🙂 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes. DS already isn't "clean cut" as he has only had 2 haircuts his entire life, the last one over a year and a half ago.  I doubt he'll ask any time soon, though. He gets annoyed enough that people think he's a girl because of his long hair!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, DawnM said:

 

Pretty sure he thinks we are the Cleaver family.......in his HEAD! 😂 . Funny since our oldest has hair down past his shoulders and has for about 10 years now (he is 21.)    

 

Ds also has long hair and a full beard, he's shaved once in his life and prefers the beard. 

25 minutes ago, Ravin said:

Yes. DS already isn't "clean cut" as he has only had 2 haircuts his entire life, the last one over a year and a half ago.  I doubt he'll ask any time soon, though. He gets annoyed enough that people think he's a girl because of his long hair!

Ds is thin and has a winter coat that resembles a ladies full length wool coat (bought at thrift store), I think we determined it really is a women's coat, but it looks great and fits and he loves it. We were at a store and a cashier walked up behind us and said, "I can help you ladies over here." I just smiled because once she saw the full beard, she realized her error. We didn't say anything and ds and I sort of laughed about it afterward. I think he'd be annoyed if he was too young to have a beard. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think ear piercing is considered "non-standard" for men or women anymore.

I'd let a son get ears pierced at the same age I'd let a daughter.  Oldest dd got hers done around 11 or 12 if I remember correctly.  She has at least one cartilage piercing and a nose piercing as well.  She did belly button at some point but kept having trouble with it and it closed up.  

I have double piercings in both ears, had a cartilage that closed up about 15 years ago.  I never wear earrings anymore so I don't know if either of my lower holes closed up.  I'm pretty sure the first ones I got at 12 years old are still usable, but I'm not sure about the second set.     Stop wearing earrings and they are barely noticeable, so I don't think typical piercings are a big deal. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My DS has never expressed an interest, but if he did I would use the same age limit that I use for a girl. I do t see any difference with a boy, but my DH has had his ear pierced since before I met him. He still wear an earring occasionally, and he works in an extremely male dominated career. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Bluegoat said:

I'm not quite sure what he'd mean by that either.  Other than somehow it doesn't seem to go with the rest of his "look". I can kind of see that - for a while the single piercing on men was in style, it was big for boys when I was a kid.  I think of it now as being really kind of out of style though, and rather than giving the impression of being cool, it seems  - IDK - kind of cheezy?

<snip>

This is what I was thinking.  Some people just don't have the right look to go with a piercing.  That's just opinion, of course. But to me a pierced ear on, say, a kid who dresses "preppy" just looks odd.  Just like a nose piercing on a middle-aged woman wearing very conservative clothing looks odd to me.  I would look ridiculous with a nose piercing!  It looks like they're trying too hard to be cool.

(I don't judge people's character by this and I don't think less of them.  it's just a reaction to the look.)

That said, I guess I would not refuse to let my male kid pierce his ear(s) since I let my female kid pierce hers.  But I would not encourage it due to potential employment limitations, though actually I am not sure if that's a deal-breaker for most professions anymore.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have no idea what your husband's objection means. At any rate, at 15, if my kid asked if they could have their ears pierced, I'd raise my eyebrows a little. It's their body, after all - my opinion on their appearance is not really relevant, is it? At this age, they're nearly adults. I'm not going to burn up my moral authority over petty things like "I don't like pierced ears, so no". I keep my "no" for the big things. (Note: I would put my foot down over a visible tattoo simply because that can't be removed easily and therefore should wait until adulthood.)

Edited by Tanaqui
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ear piercing on a kid (boy or girl) who is old enough to do the after care themselves?  No problem.  I think it looks fine.

My family has some tradition of girls having ears pierced very young (like infant) but I skipped that because I’m too lazy to do the aftercare on the ears.  Diapers were enough work.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I think it potentially limits some work opportunities here (police - maybe others)...


Interesting. DH worked on the fire dept. and it was a non-issue. He just couldn't wear an earring while on the job. But: neither male nor female are allowed to wear any jewelry while on the job, so as to not sustain burn injury while fighting a fire and the jewelry heats up on them (metal) or melts on them (plastic). That meant leaving his wedding ring at home for every shift as well.

Many jobs require just covering tattoos or filling gauges with a solid colored plug, so there can be work-arounds for even more dramatic "body flair". Quite honestly, if it is standard piercing holes, you can remove your earrings and the holes are virtually invisible. 😉

Edited by Lori D.
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I do not consider piercings for men "clean cut"

more than one piercing for women in their ears

piercings in places other than ear lobes.

- and there are occupations out there it is a drawback when you go in for a job interview.

tell him he can do what he wants when he moves out and pays all his own bills.

 

eta: just a thought.  does he want them pierced because he wants pierced ears -or he wants to push your dh's buttons?  have a nephew who grew his hair long and dyed it bright colors.  I asked him if it bugged his mom.  his smile lit up his face as he said "yeah".

Edited by gardenmom5
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will say, I think it would be unusual here these days for a single ear piercing to be a bar to employment.  I can't think of really any job where it would be an issue.  Even when I was in the army it wasn't that unusual, in fact I had a boyfriend with both ears pierced.  The only questions I saw were things that you could not easily take out, especially  like tongue  piercings which were unsafe.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When you think of it, what does "clean cut" even supposed to mean? haha  That you have no bad habits, no germs, and are honest and professional?  To me, "well-groomed" would maybe make more sense.  (I mean -- if you're thinking about your looks in a job setting or even just to give a certain positive impression, I suppose.)  You can have earrings and tattoos and long hair (for a guy) and still look well-groomed if you're clean, your hair is nicely combed and off your face, your clothes are clean and pressed with no holes, etc.   I suppose having tattoos and long hair (for a guy) might give the impression to some people that there are bad habits and sleazy things going on in that person's life, even if they are well-groomed, although I think that's changing.  (Depending on what the tattoos are, though!)

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, 1GirlTwinBoys said:

I would make my boys wait until they were 18. I'd hope they wouldn't want to because I don't really care for that look, but it would be their choice at that point.

 

That is exactly what I did but only because I don't like the look of men with earrings. I took him to get it done when he was 18.

I don't associate it with being or not being clean cut. And my son looks fine with them pierced and he is happy he did it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was not a big fan of pierced ears for boys, although a single piercing bothers me less. I am absolutely against ear gauges and septum piercings, though. Ds19 wanted his ears pierced for a couple of years, which he did go get at college. DH is very conservative and definitely wouldn’t have approved, had approval been sought. But he was also wise enough to know not to make a big deal of it once done. Now that ds’ ears are pierced, I don’t really care. It looks good with his overall look. 

I was more against the Man Bun, but that is another thing that, now that he has it, it does kind of make sense on him. 

FWIW, dh was a total a******e about my sons’ hair because he idealized the clean-cut military look. So four years of highschool (at least) were constant arguments about the boys’ hair. *hard eyeroll*. He finally gave up/realized he’s being a tool/whatever and now makes few remarks about hair length or earrings. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, J-rap said:

When you think of it, what does "clean cut" even supposed to mean? haha  That you have no bad habits, no germs, and are honest and professional?  To me, "well-groomed" would maybe make more sense.  (I mean -- if you're thinking about your looks in a job setting or even just to give a certain positive impression, I suppose.)  You can have earrings and tattoos and long hair (for a guy) and still look well-groomed if you're clean, your hair is nicely combed and off your face, your clothes are clean and pressed with no holes, etc.   I suppose having tattoos and long hair (for a guy) might give the impression to some people that there are bad habits and sleazy things going on in that person's life, even if they are well-groomed, although I think that's changing.  (Depending on what the tattoos are, though!)


That's what I was thinking. 🙂

I also was thinking I am ashamed of how shallow I have been whenever I have judged people's moral worth/character by virtue of whether or not they have pierced ears... or tattoos... or gauges... or man buns... or what they wear... I have been humbled to receive emergency help from kind strangers who looked "scary" covered with tattoos and piercings, and have been hurt by being snubbed or cut-down by strangers who were manicured, coiffed, and dressed in expensive business attire. 😥

Edited by Lori D.
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

47 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

 

I do not consider piercings for men "clean cut"

more than one piercing for women in their ears

piercings in places other than ear lobes.

- and there are occupations out there it is a drawback when you go in for a job interview.

tell him he can do what he wants when he moves out and pays all his own bills.

 

eta: just a thought.  does he want them pierced because he wants pierced ears -or he wants to push your dh's buttons?  have a nephew who grew his hair long and dyed it bright colors.  I asked him if it bugged his mom.  his smile lit up his face as he said "yeah".

 

To the bolded.  No, I won't be telling him that.  I think you and I parent very differently.  I will however, need to know my husband is on board with it before we do anything.  

I am hoping making him wear the magnetic earrings from now until summer will give him a better idea.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have no problems with male ear piercing; if my DH gave my kid a "clean cut" excuse to it, I'd be probing to figure out what that meant. I only have girls, and they are allowed to get their ears pierced for their 11th birthday. It's old enough that they can do the care. I assume if I had boys the same offer would stand. Two of my girls have allowed their ears to close because they are allergic to the cheap earrings, and rather than spend the money or wear only studs, they chose to not wear them at all. 

The girls color their hair from age 12 on; before that, they can do the hair chalk. I do not allow tattoos or gauges or other piercings (too permanent in my opinion), so I assume that the rule would stand for a boy as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

44 minutes ago, Quill said:

I was not a big fan of pierced ears for boys, although a single piercing bothers me less. I am absolutely against ear gauges and septum piercings, though. Ds19 wanted his ears pierced for a couple of years, which he did go get at college. DH is very conservative and definitely wouldn’t have approved, had approval been sought. But he was also wise enough to know not to make a big deal of it once done. Now that ds’ ears are pierced, I don’t really care. It looks good with his overall look. 

I was more against the Man Bun, but that is another thing that, now that he has it, it does kind of make sense on him. 

FWIW, dh was a total a******e about my sons’ hair because he idealized the clean-cut military look. So four years of highschool (at least) were constant arguments about the boys’ hair. *hard eyeroll*. He finally gave up/realized he’s being a tool/whatever and now makes few remarks about hair length or earrings. 

 

The man-bun seems to be on the way out, maybe he will get rid of it soon.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, DawnM said:

My youngest turned 15 this month.  He told us tonight that he wants to pierce his ears.  My husband said, "You are too clean cut for that."  and that was the end of the conversation.  

Do you equate pierced ears in men with not being clean cut?  

I was a little surprised by DH's response.   We will discuss more another day.

I ordered DS some magnetic earrings for men for him to wear for a while and see if he really wants to do it, and we can revisit this summer.

Would you let your teen son get his ears pierced?

Would you consider it not clean cut?

 

 

28 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

To the bolded.  No, I won't be telling him that.  I think you and I parent very differently.  I will however, need to know my husband is on board with it before we do anything.  

I am hoping making him wear the magnetic earrings from now until summer will give him a better idea.

gently - you ASKED what we would do.  

you do come across as thinking your dh is the unreasonable one.  you should have put a JAWM at the top.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

 

gently - you ASKED what we would do.  

you do come across as thinking your dh is the unreasonable one.  you should have put a JAWM at the top.

 

Ha, didn't read your answer as gentle at all, no matter what you couch it with.

"I would do X"  is different than, "You SHOULD do X" 

I didn't want everyone to agree with me.  And you can read into my comments about my husband however you want.  

 

Edited by DawnM
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

Ha, didn't read your answer as gentle at all, no matter what you couch it with.

"I would do X"  is different than, "You SHOULD do X" 

I didn't want everyone to agree with me.  And you can read into my comments about my husband however you want.  

 

I'm not reading into your husband - I'm reading into you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, Bluegoat said:

 

The man-bun seems to be on the way out, maybe he will get rid of it soon.

my millennial son's think it's stupid.  we've never had a conversation about it, only comments they have made in passing.

2ds is more proud of his beard.  (actually some of the cpas he works with are impressed by his beard.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

my millennial son's think it's stupid.  we've never had a conversation about it, only comments they have made in passing.

2ds is more proud of his beard.  (actually some of the cpas he works with are impressed by his beard.)

 

Around here I think it peaked in popularity two or three years ago. I rarely see them now.

I've known two which I felt really worked, and both had them well before the fad.  One was a magician - as in, he actually worse a purple robe with starts and moons for his act - and the other is a sort of Viking-scholar.  

Now he trendy hairstyle for that group that had the man-bun is super short sides with a floppy top.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Bluegoat said:

 

Around here I think it peaked in popularity two or three years ago. I rarely see them now.

I've known two which I felt really worked, and both had them well before the fad.  One was a magician - as in, he actually worse a purple robe with starts and moons for his act - and the other is a sort of Viking-scholar.  

Now he trendy hairstyle for that group that had the man-bun is super short sides with a floppy top.

 

At least a hairstyle can change pretty easily.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...