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Help! DH's health has declined after surgery. Update 11/13


AbcdeDooDah
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47 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

I can't remember - is he still taking the diabetes medication? It is known to cause diarrhea and if he's going to low on his numbers could cause the fatigue as well. 

Yes, and the one he is taking has gi problems as a side effect. He doesn't listen when I tell him that. It has  gotten worse since he started this new med several months ago. Hopefully that's all it is.

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19 minutes ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

Yes, and the one he is taking has gi problems as a side effect. He doesn't listen when I tell him that. It has  gotten worse since he started this new med several months ago. Hopefully that's all it is.

Is he monitoring his blood sugar as well? I remember he was so weak - sounded like low blood sugar plus/minus low blood pressure from diarrhea/fluid loss. 

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I saw upthread that his doctor does not think it is c diff, but I would insist on an actual lab test anyway if I were you. 

I'm so sorry your husband is still dealing with this. At this point, I would consider this a five-alarm fire and move into full court press on getting the testing and accompanying him to appointments to be sure he's not minimizing.

 

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I hope you get some answers.  7 years ago Dh got so sick he couldn’t get out of bed for 3 months.  In the end it turned out to be his gallbladder. The Hida scan showed it to be functioning at 30% which is not horrible.  Only on the border line of when they decide to remove it.  But when the surgeon took it out he said it was the worst diseased gallbladder he had ever seen.  

I have to go with Dh to every doctor appointment.  Things do not go well when I am not there.  Some big things have happened wrong when I failed to be there.   Thankfully he does not mind this at all.  He signs for me to have total access to everything. I would probably go ballistic on him if he tried to shut me out.  He can make his own decisions but I am going to be informed.

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15 hours ago, Seasider too said:

 

Good for you. You have a right to know what’s going on. I believe in privacy and all that, and an individual’s right to choose a treatment plan (ie, allowing natural death without chemo when something like late stage lung cancer is discovered), but a spouse’s ill health can have a profound effect on your own life and activities, and those of other immediate family members. He should understand that. Also, he may need some outside mental fortitude to cope with any bad news he may hear. 

You can’t force him to comply with a treatment plan, but at least you won’t be in the dark and will have some basis for if/then posturing. 

“If you’re not going to take responsibility for your own health, then I’m...

....going to stick you with that blood sugar monitor when you’re not looking.”

....not going to, either.”

...taking charge of all future financial decisions for our family because I have to be ready when you lose the ability to do it.”

...heading down to the funeral parlor to make your prearrangements.”

Of course I’m being a bit silly, but you get the idea. Withholding information from you is rather selfish, it affects your life, too. [eta oh my if it is c diff - which sounds like it may be - then it *totally* has ramifications for others living in your household, it is contagious and very serious]

 

l hope it turns out to be something easily remedied and that he lets his guard down and trusts you with info. Some people have a harder time than others when the eventual realization comes that we are neither supermen nor have immortal bodies.

 

Thank you. 

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14 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I hope you get some answers.  7 years ago Dh got so sick he couldn’t get out of bed for 3 months.  In the end it turned out to be his gallbladder. The Hida scan showed it to be functioning at 30% which is not horrible.  Only on the border line of when they decide to remove it.  But when the surgeon took it out he said it was the worst diseased gallbladder he had ever seen.  

I have to go with Dh to every doctor appointment.  Things do not go well when I am not there.  Some big things have happened wrong when I failed to be there.   Thankfully he does not mind this at all.  He signs for me to have total access to everything. I would probably go ballistic on him if he tried to shut me out.  He can make his own decisions but I am going to be informed.

I doubt he would let me go in. I asked him yesterday which blood  marker was high. He said he didn't know. I was like, "You don't want to find out about it?" He said that's what doctors are for.

He also think they will call and schedule a follow up appointment for him. I don't get his faith in the medical system. lol

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7 hours ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

He takes something else.

They did stool cultures when he had the suspected bacterial infection in August.

Ok,k but whichever medication it is if it has a known side effect of GI problems, and he's having GI problems....has he tried stopping the medication to see if the GI problems stop?

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3 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

Ok,k but whichever medication it is if it has a known side effect of GI problems, and he's having GI problems....has he tried stopping the medication to see if the GI problems stop?

Yes, for 2 weeks😑 Which is equivalent to 2 whole doses as it is is a once a week injection(not insulin)

It's madness. 2 weeks to heal from all that?! I want to wring his doctor's neck(and dh's)

I told dh that med is known for GI problems and he needed to try it longer but I found out that since I'm not a doctor I don't know what I am talking about.😶🙄

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  • 4 weeks later...

Finally some news. Weeks after the ultrasound and waiting for the doctors to magically call him, he finally called. DD and I colluded for her to ask him if he had heard yet and that's all it took. He has an enlarged spleen, which is a symptom of something else. Could be as benign as an infection or something terrible. He has bloodwork scheduled on Monday. 

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2 hours ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

Finally some news. Weeks after the ultrasound and waiting for the doctors to magically call him, he finally called. DD and I colluded for her to ask him if he had heard yet and that's all it took. He has an enlarged spleen, which is a symptom of something else. Could be as benign as an infection or something terrible. He has bloodwork scheduled on Monday. 

Daughters can have that influence on their dads! I'm glad he called. 

FWIW, my dad and two brothers all had their spleens out. It was something that runs in males in our family. ETA--It is spherocytosis, I think. It does cause anemia, which causes severe fatigue. (Our male beagle actually had it, too...lol...not to make light of it)

I hope you get it all sorted out quickly. You are one patient spouse, that's for sure. 

Edited by Chris in VA
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