My son may be coming home for next year

[DawnM]

and attending our local Community College.

He has had a successful year, he has gotten good grades and enjoyed his time there, but he did not get the RA job and did not get into his first choice of a major.    We talked last night and I strongly suggested he come home, go to our local CC, and get the classes in the field of study he wants (they won't let him take any there without getting into the program first!) and then re-apply to his current school and some other schools, and try again.

He is coming home this weekend for Spring Break and we will discuss further.  He says he thinks that may not be a bad idea.  And I am throwing in, "If you are at home, you will have a car to use, but we can't let you take one away to college yet" as an incentive.  😜

He is hesitant somewhat  because he feels like coming home and going to CC is taking a step "back" rather than forward.  Any suggestions, other than explaining all the reasons why it is a positive idea, that would help him not think that way?

I admit, I am kind of excited to have him home again.  I have missed him so much this year.

 

Edited March 5, 2019 by DawnM

[DawnM]

And no, I am not MAKING him come home.  If he stays, that is ok, but I think it won't yield him the outcome he really desires.

[almondbutterandjelly]

In his case, it seems like it truly is a step forward, as he would just be in a holding pattern at university since he can't get the classes he wants in the field he wants.  

[Bootsie]

Have you checked to make sure that the hours at the community college will indeed transfer back to the university.  Some schools have requirements that you get permission to take courses at another school once you matriculate at their school.  The school where I teach now will not accept any community college credits once a student has 54 hours of college credit (even if no credits had been received from a community college before).

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, Bootsie said:

Have you checked to make sure that the hours at the community college will indeed transfer back to the university.  Some schools have requirements that you get permission to take courses at another school once you matriculate at their school.  The school where I teach now will not accept any community college credits once a student has 54 hours of college credit (even if no credits had been received from a community college before).

 

Yes, there is reciprocity, and he will only have fewer than 40 hours.  He probably won't go back to that particular school though.

[MerryAtHope]

Sounds like a good option to consider that would let him regroup and maybe apply somewhere else for the major he wants. CC has definitely been a positive experience for my kids.

[Nancy in NH]

My DS left a school where he had great scholarships, but no other options when he decided to change his major to one not offered at his school.  He was miserable and uncertain about what to do, so he packed up for winter break, came home, and never looked back.  He wanted to enroll in a local university the following spring, but it wasn't affordable with the transfer scholarship they offered.  He ended up enrolling in CC where he could not only get some gen ed's under his belt, but also some courses that would ultimately transfer to his new major.  What felt like a giant step back at the time was definitely a step forward for him.  Being at CC was so much more affordable, too, especially when he was trying to find a way to afford the university as a transfer student at some point.  DS did well at CC and was awarded two scholarships from the university--one a community college transfer scholarship and one for Phi Theta Kappa, a distinction he earned for his good grades at CC.  So, it all worked out and he got some extra scholarship money at the university as a result of enrolling at his CC.  It can have its benefits.

And I have enjoyed him being back home, too...  

Edited March 6, 2019 by Nancy in NH

[Lanny]

It might be good for him to do that and to reassess the path he is on. Many students in a College or University change their Majors. He seems happy with the Major he is interested in, so that's a plus.  Some students, even Athletes, Transfer from one College or University to another one.  This has some issues, and one is whether or not the courses he takes at the CC will be granted Credit, when he is ready to transfer from the CC to a College or University.  Good luck to him!  

ETA: After the Spring Break, I think he should make an appointment with his Counselor in the university he's attending now to discuss this idea and the possibility of him being readmitted to that university.

Edited March 6, 2019 by Lanny
add ETA

[katilac]

He needs to speak to the department and get more information on why he did not get into the major, and what they think his next steps should be (not saying he should follow what they say, just take it into consideration). If he was denied because of not having specific skills, that tells him what he needs to do next. If they simply ran out of seats, that's good to know also.  

Also ask if taking courses in the major at CC will increase his chances (ask this at other schools he is interested in as well). If he can reapply after a year at CC, can he also reapply after another semester or two at his current school? Is it a competitive major at all schools? Because sometimes first consideration will be given to current students, so he will face even longer odds. 

It's his first choice major, which implies he does have interest in other majors. He needs to get on down to career counseling and talk about alternatives. He may well discover that another major leads to work he is just as interested in or that better suits his strengths. 

If he had a successful year and made good grades, I would think long and hard before changing schools - doubly so if he basically enjoyed his year. I'm somewhat in your son's camp of thinking that going back home to attend CC is a step backwards, sorry! And it's not just that it's a potential step backwards (that's maybe not the right wording) but that he's doing so well at his current school. Most students change their major more than once, so I'd be reluctant to step away from a successful start in order to get first choice in majors. 

Don't highlight incentives like having a car to drive at home. He needs to be looking at the long term. 

I personally would be very reluctant to change schools after a successful college launch. He'll have had the stress of this first year, then adjusting to back home and CC, then starting all over again at a new school. It's a lot and it's so easy for students to get derailed. 

I wouldn't do anything now except make a list of questions for the department, career services, and other potential schools. He can't make sound decisions without that information. 

 

 

[DawnM]

4 hours ago, katilac said:

He needs to speak to the department and get more information on why he did not get into the major, and what they think his next steps should be (not saying he should follow what they say, just take it into consideration). If he was denied because of not having specific skills, that tells him what he needs to do next. If they simply ran out of seats, that's good to know also.  

 

 

They have already told him.  They don't think he is ready.  The problem is, he is not allowed to take ANY of the classes in that field UNLESS he gets in to the program, so it is a catch 22......don't know enough to get in, but can't take any classes to learn more to try again.   

Whereas, at the CC, he can take all the classes they offer on the subject, and it would allow him to learn more to try again.   

[DawnM]

Update:

He has been home this week for Spring Break and has applied to our local 4 year college and to a private college about 3.5 hours away.  And he has the option of staying where he is and picking a major or going to the community college.  So, he should have 4 options.  He got accepted to the local 4 year college last year when he applied, so I don't for-see a problem, but we will see.

Edited March 15, 2019 by DawnM

[...................]

I have a long story I won’t bore you with but I’m with the stay at the college camp. If he’s happy there and getting decent grades ...

[...................]

On 3/6/2019 at 12:40 PM, DawnM said:

 

They have already told him.  They don't think he is ready.  The problem is, he is not allowed to take ANY of the classes in that field UNLESS he gets in to the program, so it is a catch 22......don't know enough to get in, but can't take any classes to learn more to try again.   

Whereas, at the CC, he can take all the classes they offer on the subject, and it would allow him to learn more to try again.   

 Would you mind sharing the major?

[DawnM]

On 3/5/2019 at 8:47 PM, Nancy in NH said:

My DS left a school where he had great scholarships, but no other options when he decided to change his major to one not offered at his school.  He was miserable and uncertain about what to do, so he packed up for winter break, came home, and never looked back.  He wanted to enroll in a local university the following spring, but it wasn't affordable with the transfer scholarship they offered.  He ended up enrolling in CC where he could not only get some gen ed's under his belt, but also some courses that would ultimately transfer to his new major.  What felt like a giant step back at the time was definitely a step forward for him.  Being at CC was so much more affordable, too, especially when he was trying to find a way to afford the university as a transfer student at some point.  DS did well at CC and was awarded two scholarships from the university--one a community college transfer scholarship and one for Phi Theta Kappa, a distinction he earned for his good grades at CC.  So, it all worked out and he got some extra scholarship money at the university as a result of enrolling at his CC.  It can have its benefits.

And I have enjoyed him being back home, too...  

 

My oldest got PTK too.  His transfer college mentioned an automatic $5K scholarship for but unfortunately (or fortunately, depends on how you look at it I guess) it was a "take ONE of the scholarships offered" and he was offered much more than the PTK offered.  It wasn't clear in reading it and I thought he would get both, but he didn't.  Sigh.

[DawnM]

7 hours ago, Calming Tea said:

I have a long story I won’t bore you with but I’m with the stay at the college camp. If he’s happy there and getting decent grades ...

 

He is applying to two other 4 year colleges and then there is always the CC option, he is leaning towards our local 4 year school at this point, which I honestly think would have been a better fit from day 1, but I was trying not to get too involved in the decision as I wanted it to be his.

And, if he lives on campus locally, it is far more expensive than where he is.  I was surprised.  But . he says he wants to live at home for at least the first year and then maybe find an apt with friends.  Still up in the air though.  I told him to go ahead and sign up as if he is staying, and then decide.

7 hours ago, Calming Tea said:

 Would you mind sharing the major?

 

I would rather not, but it is in the Humanities/Performing Arts.  He had to audition.  This particular school is harder to get into those fields than others.  I don't quite understand why, it isn't ranked high for those areas anyway, but it is what it is.  But now he is even talking about changing his major completely, so it doesn't matter.  I feel bad because I feel like it sucked the confidence out of him.  

[catz]

37 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

I would rather not, but it is in the Humanities/Performing Arts.  He had to audition.  This particular school is harder to get into those fields than others.  I don't quite understand why, it isn't ranked high for those areas anyway, but it is what it is.  But now he is even talking about changing his major completely, so it doesn't matter.  I feel bad because I feel like it sucked the confidence out of him.  

It seems anything that requires an audition in a college setting is highly competitive in this day and age.  My kid is auditioning for music programs this year.   It's truly crazy.  Feeling happy he's going to have a few great options open to him.  But if I said the name of the schools no one would think anything of it other than possibly 1.  Like our flagship music program music acceptance rate is like 20% (lower for popular studios) and it's overall acceptance rate is 44%.  Honors program is top 10% of each program (he got honors too).  It isn't unusual for kids to audition for 7-12 programs at all levels to get accepted to a few in performing arts area.  My kids are pretty busy in various performing arts and we've watched a number of kids attempt to matriculate to performing arts programs.   He truly shouldn't feel bad at all - it's a hard game at the college level!  And I think there are so many reasons they might weed someone out too.   My daughter has a friend that applied to a bunch of auditioned theater programs for fall - like 10.  No real safeties or non-auditioned programs.  She hasn't gotten in anywhere at all.   I feel terrible for her - super smart and talented kid.  Probably a common "type" for theater arts programs. 

I hope he finds the right path for him!  

[DawnM]

Just now, FuzzyCatz said:

It seems anything that requires an audition in a college setting is highly competitive in this day and age.  My kid is auditioning for music programs this year.   It's truly crazy.  Feeling happy he's going to have a few great options open to him.  But if I said the name of the schools no one would think anything of it other than possibly 1.  Like our flagship music program music acceptance rate is like 20% (lower for popular studios) and it's overall acceptance rate is 44%.  Honors program is top 10% of each program (he got honors too).  It isn't unusual for kids to audition for 7-12 programs at all levels to get accepted to a few in performing arts area.  My kids are pretty busy in various performing arts and we've watched a number of kids attempt to matriculate to performing arts programs.   He truly shouldn't feel bad at all - it's a hard game at the college level!  And I think there are so many reasons they might weed someone out too.   My daughter has a friend that applied to a bunch of auditioned theater programs for fall - like 10.  No real safeties or non-auditioned programs.  She hasn't gotten in anywhere at all.   I feel terrible for her - super smart and talented kid.  Probably a common "type" for theater arts programs. 

I hope he finds the right path for him!  

 

I guess what I meant was, it is competitive at that school, but if you look at national rankings, it doesn't even make the top 50.  So, it is weird to me that it is so competitive.

And you know, ultimately, I keep thinking......he really didn't want it that bad.....he only tried ONE school.  

[catz]

1 minute ago, DawnM said:

 

I guess what I meant was, it is competitive at that school, but if you look at national rankings, it doesn't even make the top 50.  So, it is weird to me that it is so competitive.

And you know, ultimately, I keep thinking......he really didn't want it that bad.....he only tried ONE school.  

Oh I know exactly what you mean!  There are so many programs out there and faculty positions are so competitive I tend to think even programs rated lower are often very strong when you look at them individually.  Especially if you're in an area where performing artists are working professionally.  

I do think you need a lot of grit and persistence for auditioned programs but if you're auditioning, that might just be part of your life forever.  I've seen kids sobbing and sad on the audition circuit this year.  It makes me so sad but maybe it's not for them!   My kid has always been a solid auditioner (he's done theater for years, including some semi-professional and paid stuff, music competitions, etc) but he's had a few moments during this process for sure! 

I'll be curious to see where your son ends up!  It sounds like he has got some great options and he's getting his head on straight about it!  This whole launching thing is a process.  

[DawnM]

Update:

Dropped him off at his college yesterday.  End of Spring Break.....booooo.  He told me his first choice at this time is to come home and go to the local 4 year college.  So, we will see.  The school has said they need his high school transcript as well as his college transcript.  When he applied last year he sent it in, I was hoping they still had it on file.....I guess not.

[DawnM]

Update: 4/3/19

He got the acceptance letter for the local 4 year college yesterday and has decided that is what he wants to do.  He is done with where he is.....it hasn't been all he had hoped.  He didn't get into the major of his choice, and it is kind of in the middle of nowhere......so, he is coming home, commuting (35 min) and staying local, in the city.

I am thrilled. 😁

[catz]

Sounds like a good next step!  Hooray!  

[MerryAtHope]

Sorry he didn't get into the major of his choice and that his current experience was disappointing--I hope the change is a good one for him though!!

[DawnM]

5 hours ago, MerryAtHope said:

Sorry he didn't get into the major of his choice and that his current experience was disappointing--I hope the change is a good one for him though!!

 

It wasn't all bad.  He has made friends and some of the classes he has enjoyed.  He has gotten good grades.  But the school doesn't offer the variety he wants and it is in the middle of nowhere.  He is ready to move on.