ErinE Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) . Edited December 3, 2023 by ErinE 10 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Personally, I think it's a lovely idea to let them know that you care and you remember. (Too often people are left to mourn those anniversaries alone.) Maybe just let them know you are thinking of them and wanted them to know you remember that their loved one's birthday is coming up and don't want it to go unacknowledged. Maybe share a funny or happy memory in your note. After my father's death, we received an unexpected note from someone sharing such memories and telling us how important my dad had been to the person. We'd had no idea. We cried, but they were good tears. 9 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I think it is a good idea but I am not the one for a great note. Two years ago my dear friend died in March. Last year I gave some wonderful bulbs for the garden to her husband and daughter to show I remembered the day. They were colors that friend loved. It was definitely the right decision as they seemed to be so comforted to be able to talk to someone else who remembered.......they really wanted time and to share stories. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I love this idea. The first year after my dad died a lovely friend sent a brief note on both Father’s Day and Christmas saying something about how the “firsts” are the hardest. I so appreciated that she remembered my loss and acknowledged I’d likely be grieving on those days. So maybe just a line or two saying something like that? As someone else already mentioned, if you have a memory of this person, include that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 B-days of people who have passed are a big deal for people in my house. The family will probably very much appreciate the note and it won't matter what you say. I would just write something heartfelt. (thinking of her, praying for you, etc.) You could even go to visit them if you feel close enough. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I've done this a couple times over the past year. Basically I've said something like, "thinking of you today and remembering fondly dear..... on what would have been his birthday" I've also called. My aunt in particular said she appreciated the call. Evenings get long 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Thinking of you on ___ Birthday. whether it's a good idea or not depends upon the parents. some people would appreciate being remembered on what could be a hard day. other's wouldn't. you know the parents and would have a better idea of how they would receive it. but I've also been reminded of "never suppress the desire to do a good deed". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barnwife Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 FWIW, DH's grandparents receive flowers and a card every year remembering one of their deceased children on the anniversary of the person's passing and her birthday. It means so much to them. They are so grateful for it. I think you've gotten some good suggestions on wording, so I just wanted to pass along the perspective I know of from someone who is on the receiving end. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 "Just want you to know I'm thinking of you today." 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I think it's a great idea to let them know you are thinking of them on such a bittersweet day. I think it's hard for loved ones when the world moves on while they are grieving so it's nice for them to know that others are thinking of them and the person who passed away. It can be a simple note or something bigger but this is really a case where it's the thought that counts. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I love when people send us notes or even quick messages on Nate's birthday. Doesn't have to be a long note. A simple "Thinking of you/remembering Nate with you today" is lovely and something I very much appreciate. I have never known what to say either, but on my niece's birthday for over a decade, I have said pretty much that, assuming that that's what I would like to hear too, and now that I'm on the receiving end, it is exactly what I love to hear. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 I've done that before. I usually try to share a memory of the departed person and say I was thinking about Person and them on that day. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 There are a few people that I do this for, but usually it’s just a message or email and not a card. I think of the departed on those days (birthdays/Christmas) and I hope it’s a comfort to the family to know that they’re not the only ones thinking of their loved one that day. I keep it as simple as I can, “Thinking of you today.” They’ll know why. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 When I did this, I sent a notecard. I wrote something about remembering it was T's birthday, that I knew this must be a difficult day for them (it was the parents of someone I grew up with) and that I was thinking of them and him on that day. I ran into the mother later and she mentioned how nice it was for someone to remember. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 I think this is such a loving act. I agree with the words already mentioned. “Thinking of you and remembering ————‘s life today and always.” I also think it’s very nice to share some memory or story. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 18 hours ago, Garga said: There are a few people that I do this for, but usually it’s just a message or email and not a card. I think of the departed on those days (birthdays/Christmas) and I hope it’s a comfort to the family to know that they’re not the only ones thinking of their loved one that day. I keep it as simple as I can, “Thinking of you today.” They’ll know why. This is not something I feel or think about, but others I know have been very helped by receiving comfort and thoughts on that day, so I try to do it for my closer friends. Keep it simple, as Garga said, they know why. Even a text is okay I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 GREAT idea! I have added birthdays of a few friends' deceased loved ones to my yearly calendar specifically so I can send some sort of note on that day. It might be a longer email, or a short "thinking of you," or occasionally a card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 I think it's a wonderful idea and will be a lovely gesture that will be appreciated. Grieving people want to know that other people remember their loved one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted March 8, 2019 Author Share Posted March 8, 2019 (edited) . Edited December 3, 2023 by ErinE 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.