I think I’ve finally become a veteran homeschool mom

[HSmomof2]

This evening I had dinner with some old friends that were all in a mom’s group with me when our kids were toddlers. We haven’t really stayed in touch until recently one mom organized this reunion dinner. A couple of these ladies are PS teachers, and didn’t know I homeschooled. Anyway, they got into this whole thing about homeschooled kids that come to PS—-they’re behind, don’t know how to get along with others, are weird, etc. The same tired stereotypes that have been around forever.

In the past this would have upset me, caused me to doubt what I was doing, and I would have been hurt and stewed for days.  But, it seriously didn’t phase me at all. I’ve been homeschooling for 12 years now, my teens aren’t behind academically, they get along with others just fine, have friends, are typical moody teens sometimes,  but pretty much are delightful young people. The best part was when we were all talking about what our kids were up to.....I talked about the things they like to do and are involved with, casually slipping in they’re homeschooled. The look on these to ladies’ faces was priceless.

Edited February 22, 2019 by HSmomof2
Edited to remove giant emoji

[HSmomof2]

11 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

  Bravo.  Seriously, sometimes I just want to fork someone over the ignorance, but you handled it perfectly.

Initially I was going to be mad, but I decided in the situation that to be defensive would only strengthen their opinions. I think it was a divine intervention because normally I would have been upset.(: Instead, I didn’t even flinch and was completely nonchalant about homeschooling. I guess I finally realized I don’t have to defend our family’s decisions, and it will help break the old stereotypes by being different than what they expect. 

Edited February 22, 2019 by HSmomof2

[merry gardens]

Thank you for sharing. I just wanted to post to bump this up so more people can read it. 

[HS Mom in NC]

Maybe it's because you've homeschooled long enough to meet that kind of homeschooler whose kids are behind and socially awkward.  When I hear people who have dealt with that formerly homeschooled kid I think, "Yeah, if my kid were like that, I'd be tempted to dump them off on the school system too."

[fairfarmhand]

3 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

Maybe it's because you've homeschooled long enough to meet that kind of homeschooler whose kids are behind and socially awkward.  When I hear people who have dealt with that formerly homeschooled kid I think, "Yeah, if my kid were like that, I'd be tempted to dump them off on the school system too."

Yeah, and I've run into enough people who are not doing a decent job homeschooling to know that the stereotype is there for a reason. And for many PS teachers, the homeschool kids who stick out are the ones who need the special attention. When the kids are on target with their grade level and have decent social skills, I'm sure most teachers don't even register that the kid was previously homeschooled. 

 

[HSmomof2]

19 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Yeah, and I've run into enough people who are not doing a decent job homeschooling to know that the stereotype is there for a reason. And for many PS teachers, the homeschool kids who stick out are the ones who need the special attention. When the kids are on target with their grade level and have decent social skills, I'm sure most teachers don't even register that the kid was previously homeschooled. 

 

This exactly. In every school setting, public, private, and homeschool, there will be kids who are behind, kids who have trouble socially, etc. and for a variety of reasons. I’ve known formerly homeschooled kids that went to school and did just fine, and their teachers probably didn’t know they’d been homeschooled. But stereotypes are hard to change once someone has their opinion set......the funny thing is these teachers are kindergarten teachers—-how much damage could have been done to their formerly homeschooled students by kindergarten? 

Edited February 22, 2019 by HSmomof2
Spelling

[fairfarmhand]

5 minutes ago, HSmomof2 said:

This exactly. In every school setting, public, private, and homeschool, there will be kids who are behind, kids who have trouble socially, etc. and for a variety of reasons. I’ve known formerly homeschooled kids that went to school and did just fine, and their teachers probably didn’t know they’d been homeschooled. But stereotypes are hard to change once someone has their opinion set......the funny thing is these teachers are kindergarten teachers—-how much damage could have been done to their formerly homeschooled students by kindergarten? 

Kindergarten? What? 

That's just absurd. 

[HSmomof2]

19 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Kindergarten? What? 

That's just absurd. 

Yes, seriously...they teach kindergarten, and for quite a long time. It was difficult to take what they were saying very seriously, as it was very general, not specific students they’d worked with.... obviously just the typical PS anti-homeschool rhetoric. And truly, if anyone showed a lack of social skills last night, it was these two.      

Edited February 22, 2019 by HSmomof2
Can’t get rid of the Giant emojis

[May]

And there aren’t public schooled kids who are weird, behind and don’t know how to get along with others🙄

[Momto6inIN]

1 hour ago, HSmomof2 said:

This exactly. In every school setting, public, private, and homeschool, there will be kids who are behind, kids who have trouble socially, etc. and for a variety of reasons. I’ve known formerly homeschooled kids that went to school and did just fine, and their teachers probably didn’t know they’d been homeschooled. But stereotypes are hard to change once someone has their opinion set......the funny thing is these teachers are kindergarten teachers—-how much damage could have been done to their formerly homeschooled students by kindergarten? 

 

1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said:

Kindergarten? What? 

That's just absurd. 

They probably didn't know how to raise their hands or wait in line yet

And maybe they asked how to actually spell words instead of sound spelling and getting it wrong 🙂

[HSmomof2]

12 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

I think part of the problem is that they only see the hs failures. If the kid is thriving in hs, and mom is happy, they're still hsing, NOT back in the system! A ps teacher usually only sees the ones that didn't make it. On the flip side, the hsers are seeing more ps failures, as more kids are being hsed because of ps disasters. I've been predicting for years that we're going to see test scores for hsers go down (and we have) because we see the failures. If the kid is thriving in ps, we hsers are not going to see them. IME, reasons for hsing have changed--it's often less of a calling than desperation. It's a HUGE problem in the UK--they call it off-rolling: pushing kids out before their GCSEs so their numbers look better. 

I agree.....I’d like to see a little more critical thinking skills in adults, however, rather than making sweeping generalizations—and on both sides. I’ve definitely heard plenty of homeschoolers make stereotypical statements about public school. 

[deBij]

Plenty of teachers are just closed-minded.  I homeschooled my easy-going daughter for KG.  She had been in jr. kg in public school and re-entered back in first grade (so she had been homeschooled for one year).

At parent teacher meeting, I mention that she find the classroom noisy ("oh, she was homeschooled, she has socialization problems").  Later in the year, the school awards her for being a caring person.
The teacher complains that she is sounding it out words (it's the beginning of grade 1).  She read slowly but could decode words at a grade 3 level.  Meanwhile plenty of 'schooled' kids can't read at all.

Even a dear ps teacher friend makes comments about homeschooling but that my family is ok since my husband and I are 'smart'.

I don't envy their teaching situation but I prefer the honest teacher who told me she would homeschool her kids if she could.

Some teachers just like to think they can do it all better.  It would be nice if they actually could.
 

[PeachyDoodle]

32 minutes ago, deBij said:

Plenty of teachers are just closed-minded.  I homeschooled my easy-going daughter for KG.  She had been in jr. kg in public school and re-entered back in first grade (so she had been homeschooled for one year).

At parent teacher meeting, I mention that she find the classroom noisy ("oh, she was homeschooled, she has socialization problems").  Later in the year, the school awards her for being a caring person.
The teacher complains that she is sounding it out words (it's the beginning of grade 1).  She read slowly but could decode words at a grade 3 level.  Meanwhile plenty of 'schooled' kids can't read at all.

Even a dear ps teacher friend makes comments about homeschooling but that my family is ok since my husband and I are 'smart'.

I don't envy their teaching situation but I prefer the honest teacher who told me she would homeschool her kids if she could.

Some teachers just like to think they can do it all better.  It would be nice if they actually could.
 

I get that one too. Often. "Parents don't really have any business thinking they can teach their own children. Oh, except for YOU. You're one of the few people who do a good job because you're so smart."

Although I've met plenty of homeschoolers that made me wonder if their kids weren't better off in public school. Then again, one of the many reasons we pulled dd from ps was the one-page newsletter sent home by her 1st grade teacher with grammar and spelling errors in the double digits. So there's that.