lovinmyboys Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 My ds10 is a sweet boy, but he just thinks life is one big party. He is really funny, but he sometimes doesn't get serious when he should. If he can get people to laugh, it is so hard to get him to stop. So, any tips for getting him to realize that just because people are laughing and having fun, it doesn't mean his behavior is appropriate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 (edited) The person I know who was like your son was told as a kid, "You know, Michael, not everything has to be turned into a joke." Many decades later, he has had a very high paying job for the last 20 years being super humorous on the radio. Please don't think I'm dismissing your concern -- I'm not! -- but what a gift he has. I think I'd work with him on controlling his jokes and bringing them out at the right moments. Then when he did "hold back," I'd profusely give him atta boys for waiting for the right time. (You might even have hand signals that mean "not now" or "now is fine.") You also might Google Jerry Seinfeld and how he constructs jokes. He's very open about it. Overall, I'd say your son is gifted. Alley Edited February 17, 2019 by Alicia64 Skinney Girl margarita 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I have an 11 year old who is similar. We have spent a lot of time discussing when it’s appropriate and when it’s not appropriate to joke around. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 (edited) Buy the kid 2 or 3 good joke books. At least that way the jokes will be funny... i find that the jokester kids do well in physically exhausting solo sports. I coach x-country skiing and it’s perfect keeping kids too busy to cause trouble. Practices are with other kids, but you have to get pretty good at skiing to be able to tell jokes and ski at the same time. So both social and not social. Edited February 17, 2019 by AK_Mom4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 DS9 is like this. The best thing I've done is put him in music lessons with a strict, no-nonsense, means-business instructor. His first music teacher (who still teaches DS10) indulged all of his imagination, and he had too much trouble focusing on what he NEEDED to be doing. Now he has a teacher who keeps him on task and challenges him to take his lessons seriously, and he's enjoying it much more. We still deal with it daily at home, partly because *I'm* prone to goofy comments before I remember how out of hand it can get. I tell him he can be silly (and disruptive) or he can have fun (because all his work is done), but those are different things and there aren't enough hours in the day do both. I try to redirect him into "impressing people" in ways that aren't always silly and require thoughtfulness (like writing joke books and comics that can be read later) instead of impulse at inappropriate times. We're still working on that, slowly. We also put him in a sport with a mouth guard that kept him from talking constantly. I'd like to find him an improv class in a few years. And I do suspect he's gifted and prone to boredom, given how he approaches academics and creative tasks and problem solving. Hopefully the maturity and filter will catch up to the other parts of his brain, so his future Wikipedia page doesn't have a "Controversies" section. 🤣 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 In classroom settings I've had success with giving kids a chance to be up front at appropriate times. Sometimes it would be spur of the moment and sometimes an assignment. With big assignments I try to always build in options for being up front. So basically looking for opportunities to channel that gift. It makes the "not now" times a bit less torturous because "go for it" times are pretty frequent. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I have a kid that was very much like this when he was younger. Theatre has been a GREAT positive outlet. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyLady Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Ramona Quimby's dad would say "1st time's funny. 2nd time's silly. 3rd time's a spanking." Not recommending the actual spanking, but I have quoted that to my kids once in a while. 🙂 My son at that age needed a lot of big physical activity. I wished we had a farm where he could go dig stuff, you know? Being outside helped. Running outside was even better. Actually, he still needs that activity. We live on base and they will shovel snow for us. BUT, I feel like 15 year old boys need to shovel snow, deep in their souls. So he and I have shoveled a lot of snow this winter. I know this seems to not correlate to your question, but I know for my son, getting enough exercise helps all communication go better and helps him be a little less irritating... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 1 hour ago, BarbecueMom said: We also put him in a sport with a mouth guard that kept him from talking constantly. Genius, lol. 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Just throwing this out there--may not be the case AT all. Some kids are silly and cut up to mask anxiety. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 (edited) My middle son is like this. We just rolled with it. And when he got to high school he joined the Improv team and he was the funniest one there (I am not biased at all! 😜). And he has done theater. We love his easy going nature and his ability to make comedy out of nothing. It has brightened our world in so many ways. Edited February 17, 2019 by DawnM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momto6inIN Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 2nd DS is like this and always has been. It's who he is, it's how he's wired - to desire attention and crave a reaction. I love this aspect of his personality most of the time, it means he's creative and witty and actually very perceptive to people's feelings now at almost 17. But at age 10 it was really hard to teach him when he was getting close to crossing the line between funny and annoying because he was enjoying the positive response so much he didn't realize he was getting close to the line til he'd crossed it and usually left it far behind in the dust and got a negative response. And that sudden switch from positive to negative (at least it seemed sudden in his mind) left him confused. We had the best luck with having conversations with him about this and then listening for the warning signs and reminding him with a simple, "Where's the line?" remark. But it was a loooooooong learning process. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Does he want to work at an airport? 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 On 2/17/2019 at 2:30 AM, Chris in VA said: Just throwing this out there--may not be the case AT all. Some kids are silly and cut up to mask anxiety. Yes, or to cover up other issues. A classic example is children who cannot read, or simply read very badly, acting up in class so that the teacher will yell at them and the other students will laugh and then nobody notices they haven't read anything aloud all year. I'm not saying that is the case with this kid - certainly a homeschooled child is a little less likely to successfully hide serious academic difficulties than a student in a class of 25! - but the general principle is worth keeping in mind. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 I'd recommend theatre as well. Not only will he get many opportunities to be the centre of attention, he'll also learn about the importance allowing others to have their turn to shine. I have 3 ds's in community theatre, and they do a mix of improv, musical theatre, team-building games, and play reading in their theatre group. They love it. They burn off a ton of energy, and learn to treat others with respect. I lucked out and found a theatre group that includes everyone in performances, rather than competitive auditions. It is great for developing everyone's strengths. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momto6inIN Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Theatre/drama has been a great outlet for my class clown and has taught him a lot about how to use his strengths productively! However, it has *not* taught him how to internally gauge when he is getting close to crossing boundaries and how to control his own impulses. IME that requires direct teaching and guidance from a parent. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmyboys Posted February 18, 2019 Author Share Posted February 18, 2019 I think anxiety/not feeling like he is as good at a task as others is part of it. Being silly is part of his personality, but the last two times I got really frustrated with him were at places where he probably wasn't as good at the activity as most of the other kids. I think it doesn't bother him as much if he can get attention another way. I feel like I have taught him over and over when it is appropriate to be goofy, and he mostly does ok, but every now. and then it is like no reward or punishment has an effect on him like someone laughing does. I could threaten whatever and he would still be goofy if people were laughing. Or I could reward him with $100 and he would still be goofy if it made someone laugh (not that I have tried that, lol). He still has 8 years until he is an adult, so hopefully he will get it by then. I'll look into theater. I think that would be something he would enjoy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 One of my adult sons was a class clown type of kid. I stopped going to school conferences because every single one was "He's SO funny! We enjoy him, but he needs to focus on his school work a bit more." He's fun and outgoing and a visit from him is exhausting because he keeps me laughing and has all kinds of stories. When another Army unit was being deployed, the CO specifically requested he be transfered so he could go with them. We joked that they were just taking him for the entertainment. We later learned that when the unit was at a point of very low morale, he came up with a simple and silly way to encourage them and make them laugh. Apparently there is a place in the world for class clown types. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 On 2/16/2019 at 8:15 PM, AK_Mom4 said: Buy the kid 2 or 3 good joke books. At least that way the jokes will be funny... Yes. Honestly, it might get better on its own in a year. He might still be relatively class clown, but the intensity might get better. My kiddo has calmed down a lot in the last year, and he's 11. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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