Ideas for teaching introverted teens to network (socially)

[PeachyDoodle]

One of my goals for my kids as they go through high school is to help them become comfortable with social/professional networking. As an introvert with a fair amount of social anxiety, this is something I've failed supremely at myself, and I have no clue how to help my teen(s) overcome this hurdle. But I see the opportunities I've missed because of my inability or unwillingness to navigate the social aspect and don't want the same for them.

Unfortunately, dd is also a definite introvert who lacks the confidence to put herself out there when it comes to meeting new people, initiating contact, etc. We have made small inroads (e.g., requiring her to contact her best [really only] friend to arrange get-togethers instead of relying on me to contact the friend's mom) over the past year or so, but progress is slow. I know we like to scoff at the "homeschoolers lack socialization" stereotypes, but at least in our case there's some truth to it. I do feel like homeschooling, while OVERWHELMINGLY positive for us, has been somewhat isolating for me and the kids. DS is only 8 so it's hard to know for sure, but I suspect he's going to be a similar case.

How can I help dd (and eventually ds) start to develop the confidence to put herself out there? My end goal isn't that she have a huge circle of intimate friendships -- I don't think she would want that anyway. But I do want her eventually to be able to network on a professional level so that she's in the know for potential internship/job opportunities and things like that. I want her to understand the value of interpersonal relationships to her future happiness and success (I severely underestimated this for myself as a teen/young adult). She's only 13 and doesn't even have a real field of interest yet, so we're talking long-term, but I think we're going to need baby steps.

[Bambam]

I think she is very young yet.

For my dd who did not want to talk to anyone else, we made several things a requirement for her. She had to talk to one non-relative person at church every time. When she was very young, a greeting was sufficient. When we ate at a restaurant which gave you a free ice cream cup *if* you asked, we let her decide if she wanted to ask or not. We wouldn't. Mostly she would! And we went on from there.

But, really, the best thing I think we did was have her participate in some children's theater acting camps. I'm not sure why these were so helpful with being more comfortable/willing to talk with others (maybe the practicing speaking while in a costume? maybe because everyone was looking at you and you realized it wasn't as horrible as you thought? who knows?). Add a job as a barista now, and she is so much more willing to talk, and she is starting to see the usefulness of talking to people about stuff (in general). I've found several neat opportunities that were only discovered because I talk to random people. She was with me at the time (Mooommm, why are talking to those people????), but now she sees that communication with others is useful. Several of her friends are looking for jobs, so she is finding that sometimes she hears of potential jobs, so she lets them know. 

So, maybe what we did helped? Maybe age/maturity is the answer? 

I also have a very different dd in college. She is finding and applying for several internships - but she found them all online. She found her in-school jobs but just going in to places she was interested working at and asking if they were accepting applications. 

[LMD]

I just bought my 13yo dd the book 'how to win friends and influence people for teen girls' for Christmas - she read it in a few hours and really enjoyed it.

[City Mouse]

While this idea may not be popular here, video games can be a great way for kids to start learning to network in person and online. 

Most any time I am with a group of kids, they start talking about video games. It seems like their favorite ice breaker is "Do you play ...."

I was out playing Pokémon Go with my DD today, and a "strange" car pulls in front of us blocking us in the road. As my big city anxiety was about to kick in, a lady got out of the car and ran over to ask if we were playing pokemon and if we would like to do a raid battle with them. Turns out her parents recently retired and moved to our town. She and her husband come down to visit often, and as a family they play Pokémon together. We exchanged phone numbers and joined her Pokémon Facebook group.

 

My daughter made her first friends on move in day her freshman year of college because she was wearing a baseball hat that was of the design of Ash Cetchem from Pokémon. 

Edited January 12, 2019 by City Mouse