solascriptura Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Hmm... I haven't read any of the replies. I had a friend that did this and I never called him out on it even though it bothered me. I that still believed that it was kind of like a bad habit, like I shake my leg or tapping my fingers on the table top. Even if your son does it harmlessly, not everyone will take it well. I would ask him to consider breaking that habit. A lot of women will not take it well and may misunderstand him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 I have known or currently know lots of boys and men who do this. To me it's just a guy thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 Agreeing with the idea that he should stop because you don't like it. If you've said stop when he's doing it vs. saying, "Don't do it anymore at all," maybe he needs a more direct statement. I do have some suggestions about what might bug you because it's what bugs me about this sort of thing. In my case, I think it's mostly sensory in nature. Understanding it doesn't make me like it better, but I feel better about my negative reaction to things in this category (namely a friend's daughter who thinks doing lots of ballet-related high kicks in crowded spaces is okay). I don't like unexpected movement directed at me; anything going near my head is 10x worse. Below the waist wouldn't bug me much for pretend fighting. Even mid-chest would be far, far less alarming or annoying. I have a super strong blink reflex (for lack of a better word), and once I've been blinking because something is coming near me, then I am less prepare for the next move because I feel like my whole face is on the fritz from blinking multiple times from the surprise. I have had to train myself not to blink over lots of ordinary movements and noise from the time I was little, as strange as that sounds. (Example: someone would pound a nail into the floor, and I would blink every single time the hammer hit the nail, even when I got a feel for the rhythm of how often I would hear it and even if I was watching and could see it was going to make noise. This was really annoying considering that I grew up in a fixer-upper!) I have really good peripheral vision--combined with sensory issues (that got better as a young adult and then went through the roof again after I had kids), this means I am often on high alert anyway. I just plain prefer people restrict their movements around me to something I can reasonably expect. I have no negative reason (such as abuse) for not liking these things, but they do seriously bug me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petrichor Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 On 1/11/2019 at 12:24 AM, MercyA said: I have to ask--what does "showing his Cheerios" mean??? 🙂 I'm wondering the same thing. I feel like it means "showing his strength" or "showing his manli-ness" but how does that relate to cereal? Oh! hang on! I'm seeming to remember old cheerios commercials with men and little boys flexing their muscles -- is that where the phrase comes from? And is that a common phrase where you live? or just a family thing? I've never heard it and I'm in the midwest. I was thinking of commercials from the 90s, but found this along the same lines: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 I think it's a dominance / power thing If you fake die right away it takes all the fun out of it btw. A couple of those might extinguish the bhvr for good. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 13, 2019 Author Share Posted January 13, 2019 3 hours ago, Petrichor said: I'm wondering the same thing. I feel like it means "showing his strength" or "showing his manli-ness" but how does that relate to cereal? Oh! hang on! I'm seeming to remember old cheerios commercials with men and little boys flexing their muscles -- is that where the phrase comes from? And is that a common phrase where you live? or just a family thing? I've never heard it and I'm in the midwest. I was thinking of commercials from the 90s, but found this along the same lines: I think I meant to say feeling his Cheerios. And yes it means he is showing off or showing his confidence or something. Honestly I feel a little confused about the saying now.....I don’t hear it much anymore, I was raised up in Arkansas. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 24 minutes ago, Scarlett said: I think I meant to say feeling his Cheerios. And yes it means he is showing off or showing his confidence or something. Honestly I feel a little confused about the saying now.....I don’t hear it much anymore, I was raised up in Arkansas. Are you sure that you don’t mean “feeling his oats”? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said: Are you sure that you don’t mean “feeling his oats”? I thought one sows one's oats, not feels them ? 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 13, 2019 Share Posted January 13, 2019 29 minutes ago, hornblower said: I thought one sows one's oats, not feels them ? You can do both. https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/feel_one's_oats 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 LOL about Cheerios. I remember decades ago when my 12yo cousin was over and my dad was like, "wow, this kid has been eating all his Cheerios." Cousin had gained a lot of height and weight since the last time we saw him. I remember Wheaties being the Breakfast of Champions (though we used to call them Weakies, the Breakfast of Chumps at our house). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 On 1/11/2019 at 12:24 AM, MercyA said: I sometimes do this to my husband, making contact, but (usually) not very hard. He "blocks" me and we laugh about it. It's when we're in a good mood and joking around, often when he's teasing me. He doesn't seem to mind. IDK. I'm a physical person. I like physical contact. It has always seemed like a playful thing to me. My parents were very young when they got married and my brother and I wrestled around with my dad and each other a lot when we were little. There was no hidden meaning. We all thought the world of each other. It was just fun. I'm with others who say this probably isn't a big deal, but if you don't like it, of course your son should knock it off. I have to ask--what does "showing his Cheerios" mean??? 🙂 My mom always said “feeling his Cheerios.” I thought it was like feeling your oats, but for people. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 22, 2019 Author Share Posted January 22, 2019 (edited) I asked my mom about the Feeling your Cheerios phrase. She said it does mean the same as feeling your oats. I wanted to also add thanks to whoever suggested I play like I died next time ds punches at me....I did that. He laughed and walked away. And it has helped for me to view it through a different lens. Edited January 23, 2019 by Scarlett 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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