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Sleep deprivation from snoring spouse


MistyMountain
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My spouse snores really loud and it causes me to barely sleep and constantly be sleep deprived. I keep trying to get him to do something like look into getting tonsils out, a mouth guard or the apnea machine etc but he will not hear it. Last year he traveled for work for a month and it was so nice to be able to sleep that month. Recently my kids had a sleep over in each other's room so I used the extra room to sleep and it was so nice. He falls asleep immediately and it takes me forever to fall asleep and poking him to change positions does not stop it. We do not have any extra bedrooms but I need to sleep separately. What is some sort of comfortable long term sleeping option that can be moved every day? We can't have a bed taking up space in another room.

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At that point, I'd sleep in a different room.  I prefer to sleep w/ my dh but if it is him or sleep, I'm choosing sleep, you can't function without it, just b/c he wants to be stubborn you shouldn't be punished. My mil often slept in a different room than my FIL and perhaps that will push him to get the sleep study done, if not at least you will get some sleep. 

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maize is right.  he really needs a sleep study.  I have sleep apnea - wish I didn't!  I didn't have it until 15 years ago when I started gaining weight with age.  I've been trying hard to lose weight but it isn't budging.  Still, I'm going to keep trying.  Sleep apnea can cause many different health issues and since I'm sure he wants to be around for you the kids, he needs to think of protecting himself and his family that way!!!

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I usually just poke and shove DH til he rolls off his back, as he doesn't snore when he's on his side or stomach 😁

But DH also heard of a pillow that somehow detects when you snore and automatically inflates/deflates to such a position that makes you stop snoring that he is considering buying. Sorry I don't have a link, he was looking into it, not me. 

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A former coworker put a tennis ball in a long sock and sewed it on the back of her husband’s shirt. It kept him from sleeping on his back. 

Seriously though, get a sleep study. You can do them at home now. The sleep apnea machine has helped both my husband and me sleep better. I didn’t realize how poorly I was sleeping until he got the apnea machine. 

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Do you have a large closet in which you could store a folding bed, something like this?

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008BWESBQ/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I encourage you to sleep separately! My husband and I have separate bedrooms for the same reason. Ear plugs just weren't cutting it and I was tired of sleeping on the sofa. You will feel so much better when you start getting a good night's sleep every night.

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We are pretty certain that it was Sleep Apnea that killed my Grandfather.  So, I am a huge supporter of getting a study at least.   I had to insist on DH getting a study.  His Apnea was so bad they put the machine on his the first night and did the calibration then because they were literally worried he would die in their bed.   Instead of 'Wakes per hour', they used 'Wakes per minute'.   
If he still insists on not getting a study done, I'd kick him out of the master bed.   This is his problem to solve.  If he doesn't have Apnea, THEN you look into the other things.    

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My Xh and my current husband both snore.  Xh much worse.  Somehow I was always able to sleep though. .  One time on a camping trip he fell asleep near the picnic table.  His brothers were in a tent and I was in a camper and I woke up to his brothers yelling at him, ‘Go get in the camper with Scarlett’.  Apparently he was snoring so loudly it woke up the entire camp except me.  

But not sleeping is horrible.  I would definitely sleep elsewhere. Can your kids share a room?  Or how about a futon? Ours is fairly comfortable for one person and very easily pops up and down. 

Edited by Scarlett
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1 hour ago, soror said:

At that point, I'd sleep in a different room.  I prefer to sleep w/ my dh but if it is him or sleep, I'm choosing sleep, you can't function without it, just b/c he wants to be stubborn you shouldn't be punished. My mil often slept in a different room than my FIL and perhaps that will push him to get the sleep study done, if not at least you will get some sleep. 

This is what we do.  It isn't perfect, but neither is being so sleep deprived from a spouse.    I used to end up on the couch most nights, but now that most of the kids are out of the house, we have separate bedrooms.  Back in the day I actually bought a couch with the specific idea of it being slept on.  It was big and long and very comfortable. I loved that couch.   DH is in the guest room now (I was in the guest room at the old house).   It's pretty tough when we have visitors, because we have to go back together again.

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Those foam earplugs worked pretty well for me as long as he made an effort to stay awake until I was asleep. Then I started getting outer ear infections and could no longer use them.  He finally did a sleep study and got a machine, and it has helped both of us really.  Now he wouldn’t be without it whether I’m around or not.

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1 hour ago, maize said:

I would continue to push for a sleep study though, the detrimental effects of untreated sleep apnea can be pretty devastating:

https://www.healthline.com/health/sleep-apnea/effects-on-body#1

I agree with this. I finally convinced my dh to go. He got a monitor - He had way too many episodes in the timeframe and was not breathing for up to 90 seconds at a time - and he only had moderate to severe. I can't imagine severe!  He got a CPAP machine, and he feels SO much better. I was a little weirded out at first because there was no noise coming from his side of the bed, but it is all good now. 

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I'm sorry he's stubborn about digging into it even though he knows it is keeping you from sleeping well at night.  But I guess it is what it is.  In your case, I'd probably get a fold-up bed as recommended above or a nice comfy couch.  After everyone is in their bedroom at night, you can set up bed in the living room.

Another thought, have you tried really good earplugs?  My kids have gotten ones where you somehow mold them to fit your particular ears.   They seemed to be really good at blocking out sound.  

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Same issue here.  I sleep in a different room.  I put a loft bed into our home office room. 

I also sleep well on a thermarest basecamp inflatable camping mattress, which is small to store (even fully inflated) and very easy to move.  I used this before we had the loft bed.

I find earplugs uncomfortable, but will use them occasionally (especially when camping).

Another emergency measure for when we have to be in the same bed:  one of us sleeps wrongway in the bed (feet to head), so maximum distance between snorer's head and my ears.

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4 hours ago, MistyMountain said:

My spouse snores really loud and it causes me to barely sleep and constantly be sleep deprived. I keep trying to get him to do something like look into getting tonsils out, a mouth guard or the apnea machine etc but he will not hear it. Last year he traveled for work for a month and it was so nice to be able to sleep that month. Recently my kids had a sleep over in each other's room so I used the extra room to sleep and it was so nice. He falls asleep immediately and it takes me forever to fall asleep and poking him to change positions does not stop it. We do not have any extra bedrooms but I need to sleep separately. What is some sort of comfortable long term sleeping option that can be moved every day? We can't have a bed taking up space in another room.

Can I ask why he's so resistant about treatment?  Snoring is not just an annoyance to others.  If it's sleep apnea, it can have devastating consequences.  

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A lot of people snore without having sleep apnea.  My DH does not have it, but snores like a champ.  His snoring is directly related to his weight.  His weight is high right now and snoring is at it's worst, but he has to want to make changes, and he's just not there yet- despite some pretty earnest badgering from his family. 

The camping scenario? We go camping with extended family every summer for a week.  No one puts their tents near ours because no one can sleep if he's nearby. 

My solution?  I took a middle of the night job delivering newspapers since I was awake anyway.    I go to bed early every night now so I get a nice head start on sleep.  He comes in later, and we try to co-sleep for a while before I get up and go do my deliveries, and when I come home I go back to bed and usually that's when he's getting up for work and I get several more hours of sleep in.    It's not perfect, but it works for us.  When he doesn't work or the snoring ramps up early, I move to the couch where I sleep REALLY good.   I keep blankets tucked behind a piece of furniture just for this reason. 

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Can you record him snoring so he hears how bad it is? 

DH snored terribly for years. I suffered through it until we had kids, then he moved to the couch. When the girls were little, he had a sleep study done. Sure enough, it was apnea. The cpap machine totally cleared up the snoring, but more importantly: he's not exhausted during the day, he has fewer sinus infections, and he's mentally sharper. 

I'd nag DH. If he won't do it for his own health, he should at least do it for yours. Sleep deprivation is no joke. 

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1 hour ago, kand said:

I notice a trend (and it applies to me too) that seems unfair. Why is it always the non-snorer (who is almost always the woman) who is getting up and moving out of the bed at night? 

 

For us, it was because I'm smaller in weight and height thus feeling much more comfortable on a inflatable mattress. And at first, I was also more likely to go to bed last so if he slept in the living room I would bother him with my noise.

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2 hours ago, kand said:

I notice a trend (and it applies to me too) that seems unfair. Why is it always the non-snorer (who is almost always the woman) who is getting up and moving out of the bed at night? 

I am dealing with this and I think it is unfair (as does my snoring dh). The reasons why I have started moving out of the room are, first, because I’m wide awake and frustrated at the snoring and he is in deep sleep. In the light of day he eagerly says he will get up and move but in reality when he is snoring he is hardly coherent to think clearly and follow through. Second, he is the sole provider and he is the one who has to work all day with an hour commute in heavy traffic. So, selfishly I do not want him dead or fired, so I have been moving on weeknights.

But I am not happy with this solution and we are having an ongoing discussion about it (it is a pretty recent development). It is totally unfair and we are seeking some other solution than me leaving. I love my own bed! 

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It's true you can snore and NOT have s.a. but do you want to make that call?  Many people who snore have s.a.  Let the professionals at the sleep clinic test for that.  Also, with all due respect to the posts offering suggestions for "things" to help, such as pillows, or whatever - that will not get to the root issue.  He needs a sleep study to determine IF he has s.a.  If so, he NEEDS a machine.  Maybe he doesn't have s.a. then other options should be considered at that time AFTER s.a. has been ruled out.  

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10 hours ago, Selkie said:

Does he have any weight to lose? My dh cleaned up his diet and lost 40 lbs. He is very fit now and doesn't snore at all - the difference is pretty amazing!

The same happened in our family for both dh and I.  We started following  Eat to Live about five months ago  ( with significant weight loss ) and the changes have been dramatic.  We both sleep well and wake up not tired.  Neither of us snore anymore either.  

 

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Earplugs only go so far. My dh snores even on his side, so a tennis ball on his back does nothing.  He was tested and has sleep apnea and uses a cpap now.  I wish that I’d pushed the issue harder, earlier.

OP how much have you pushed the issue? This is one of those hills to die on, in my opinion.  It’s ridiculous that he is snoring so loudly that you’re looking for new beds and will end up on a flimsy mattress on the floor while he’s lolling about in a soft bed and he’s not willing to be tested.  It’s a jerk move.  Have you called him on it?  

Sleep apnea can cause a host of issues and death.  It’s important to rule it out or to treat it if he has it.

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Eeks, I didn't read all the answers but I feel for you.   Mine snores, wants noise from his computer ALL. NIGHT.  
Sleeps with lights on.  I couldn't take it.  We now have separate bedrooms.  I don't even pretend to sleep there.  Moved all my clothes, took my favorite furniture, etc.  I still "visit' but I love my own room.  Me and my cat, him and his.  

My health was suffering.  I was exhausted.   Now I can sleep and he brings me morning coffee.  Do what you have to do.

Of course, all our kids are out and we've got four bedrooms so it's easy.  Hope you find a solution.

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My dh sounds like Darth Vader when he sleeps. After years of putting up with that, I was done. Plus there came the night when I gently woke him and asked him to turn over (at that time he could breathe a bit less noisily sleeping on his side) and he snapped at me, "YOU TURN OVER!!" I had just had a baby, I was so tired and emotional...yeah, I was done. He had two chances to see a doctor for absolutely no cost (we had fantastic health insurance) but refused. So he has slept on a mattress in the living room since 2009. No hard feelings on his end (thank goodness) because he knows he breathes crazy loudly (even the kids have complained) and he knows he is the one choosing to not seek help. So I get to sleep well which makes for a much happier wife/mom and a much happier household.

Another great thing is that I have my own room which has become my sanctuary. I go in at night and it is so calming. No one else in there, just my space. So I no longer pressure dh to seek help for his Darth Vader breathing, lol.

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He used to fall asleep with th tv a lot and end up in the living room all night but lately he has not. He actually did offer to sleep elsewhere but he has back issues from a car accident so I figure I can sleep elsewhere for now. I have bought up going for a sleep study or to look into why since it could be sleep apnea but he does not like going to doctors and did not want to. Right now we have high deductible insurance and lots of costs come up at once. A car is on the fritz, a bathroom is being repaired, and our boiler just went out plus other stuff. We just get by as it is. When I mentioned sleeping elsewhere he dd say maybe when other things get taken care of he will go in for it.

Edited by MistyMountain
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4 hours ago, OKBud said:

Incidentally, after we did that, I found out that fully half of my friends happily slept in separate rooms from their husbands. And the other half found the idea absolutely ghastly. Sacrilege. A direct route to divorce. A sure way to never be touched by a man again 🤣

 

Sometimes we have to sleep apart (someone has a bad nighttime cough, someone has a back issue and sleeps on the lazyboy) and BOY O BOY, do I LOVE it.  I love sleeping alone.  

But DH is like the second half of your friends and figures it's the highway to divorce.  I pretend to miss him when we sleep apart because he would be shaken to know that I prefer the bed all to myself and would take it to mean I don't love him.  

4 hours ago, OKBud said:

I got to the point that I was absolutely furious that DH thought it was OK for me to not be able to sleep. And he was taken by surprise that I wasn't just teasing him about it 😑

 

After DH got his Cpap, he would lie down in bed and play on his phone until he dozed off.  By then, I would be asleep.  And then he'd start snoring because he hadn't put on the CPAP, which would wake me back up.  

I remember feeling enraged when this would happen.  He would say, "Oh, just wake me up and tell me to put it on."  And I'm like, "SO...you're ok with me falling asleep, and then being woken by your snoring, so that I can have the honor of waking you up to put on your cpap so that the both of us can go back to sleep?"  And half the time, he'd fall back to sleep without putting it on, so I'd get to wake him up AGAIN to remind him a SECOND TIME to put it on. (Yes, I'm a little bit shouty about it.)  He still doesn't get how angry it would make me and he still does it from time to time. 

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13 hours ago, MaBelle said:

Eeks, I didn't read all the answers but I feel for you.   Mine snores, wants noise from his computer ALL. NIGHT.  
Sleeps with lights on.  I couldn't take it.  We now have separate bedrooms.  I don't even pretend to sleep there.  Moved all my clothes, took my favorite furniture, etc.  I still "visit' but I love my own room.  Me and my cat, him and his.  

My health was suffering.  I was exhausted.   Now I can sleep and he brings me morning coffee.  Do what you have to do.

Of course, all our kids are out and we've got four bedrooms so it's easy.  Hope you find a solution.

That is my dream!! I want my own room for me and my cat!. DH snores. He wants his blinky lights and computer noises all night. He drops to sleep literally within 10seconds of hitting the pillow most nights so none of that bothers him and I'm awake for hours without silence and darkness. I'd love to have the rich people set up of adjoining rooms with separate sleeping areas and bathrooms. I sometimes go to the guest room when it's really bad but it's not an option when we have guests. 

I have listened carefully to DH and I don't think he has apnea but who knows. He doesn't think he needs a sleep study. My Dad has apnea and I think DH doesn't want to use the machine since he's seen it. He usually quits snoring once he hits deep sleep so I will stay awake for hours downstairs and go up only when I no longer hear snoring. I hate it when DH stays up late because it means I'll be up really late but he gets offended if I try to imply he should be going to bed. My MIL snores really badly too and she's not overweight so I wonder if there's something genetic about it. 

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No advice to the OP other than to continue to encourage her husband to get a sleep study, but I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that it always astounds me that it is the non-snorer who is expected to move or otherwise deal with the snorer's noise.  In any other aspect of life, a person making a racket in the middle of the night would go to sequester themselves so as not to wake those sleeping.  

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5 minutes ago, EKS said:

No advice to the OP other than to continue to encourage her husband to get a sleep study, but I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that it always astounds me that it is the non-snorer who is expected to move or otherwise deal with the snorer's noise.  In any other aspect of life, a person making a racket in the middle of the night would go to sequester themselves so as not to wake those sleeping.  

 

I also went sleep deprived for years because of the snoring and moving around at night. Even when he finally got a CPAP, the moving around meant that I got maybe 4-5 hours of sleep a night. When we went on vacation and had to share a bed, I knew that I wouldn't sleep much. Eventually I also got a CPAP because my asthma was affecting my nighttime breathing. Weight loss didn't resolve it for me.

The husband of a friend commented that he got a CPAP for his wife when I got mine. It came up because he commented that I looked more rested. That's when I realized the truth of what EKS said. I should not have been the one to suffer for so long.

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8 hours ago, OKBud said:

 

Incidentally, after we did that, I found out that fully half of my friends happily slept in separate rooms from their husbands. And the other half found the idea absolutely ghastly. Sacrilege. A direct route to divorce. A sure way to never be touched by a man again 🤣

Well, that might make some wives happy too.  

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I bought a new couch and kicked my husband out of the bedroom.  It took six months or so, but he eventually got the sleep study.  He wears CPAP now and I can only tell it's on when it's ramping up after he's been up out of bed at night.  Now he had become so dependent he takes it camping.

 

Edited by melmichigan
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This is not the question you asked, but maybe it will be helpful anyway.  My DH has a CPAP machine and it is loud.  So I've come up with several ways to block the noise.  1. Earplugs (Hereos extreme are the best I've found) 2. A fat and squishy pillow over my head (side sleeper here so only one ear needs blocked)  3. I sleep with my head at the foot of the ned to get further away from the machine 4. And he sleeps with a blanket over his CPAP (should muffle snoring too if you can convince your DH to do it).

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2 hours ago, caedmyn said:

This is not the question you asked, but maybe it will be helpful anyway.  My DH has a CPAP machine and it is loud.  So I've come up with several ways to block the noise.  1. Earplugs (Hereos extreme are the best I've found) 2. A fat and squishy pillow over my head (side sleeper here so only one ear needs blocked)  3. I sleep with my head at the foot of the ned to get further away from the machine 4. And he sleeps with a blanket over his CPAP (should muffle snoring too if you can convince your DH to do it).


I'd love to ask a follow-on question to this.  My dh has snored our whole marriage, and he used stay asleep and but roll over if I poked him, but more recently he's been harder to move and if he actually wakes up he gets ornery.  He also sounded more and more apnea-y, so he finally agreed to get a sleep study and they gave him a CPAP.

That thing was loud.  And sounded like it was trying to drown him with air all night.  I think we both got less sleep, rather than more.  I would also have had to get earplugs or something, but since he wasn't sleeping well with it either, he gave it back.

So then he tried one of those tennis ball shirts - tennis balls didn't work well, but some floral foam blocks have done the trick fairly well.  He doesn't snore much at all if he's properly on his side.  But might he still be getting apnea if he's not snoring?  Now I'm a bit worried.  If he's not snoring much on his side, should I still worry?

My SIL has what she says is  BiPAP, I think?  She said that worked better for her than the CPAP.  Do all of your dhs really have CPAPs, or one of those?  She called it a CPAP until we asked her about his experience and she clarified.  Was his broken?  Why was it so loud and why did it seem like it was drowning him with air?  Changing the pressure did nothing - it would ramp right back up.  After his experience, I can't imagine anyone actually sleeping better with one of those...

ETA: not sure if it makes any difference,  but thought I should add that dh's snoring has nothing to do with weight. .. he's gone up one inch in waist size since we got married,  to a 33...

Edited by Matryoshka
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6 hours ago, Matryoshka said:


I'd love to ask a follow-on question to this.  My dh has snored our whole marriage, and he used stay asleep and but roll over if I poked him, but more recently he's been harder to move and if he actually wakes up he gets ornery.  He also sounded more and more apnea-y, so he finally agreed to get a sleep study and they gave him a CPAP.

That thing was loud.  And sounded like it was trying to drown him with air all night.  I think we both got less sleep, rather than more.  I would also have had to get earplugs or something, but since he wasn't sleeping well with it either, he gave it back.

So then he tried one of those tennis ball shirts - tennis balls didn't work well, but some floral foam blocks have done the trick fairly well.  He doesn't snore much at all if he's properly on his side.  But might he still be getting apnea if he's not snoring?  Now I'm a bit worried.  If he's not snoring much on his side, should I still worry?

My SIL has what she says is  BiPAP, I think?  She said that worked better for her than the CPAP.  Do all of your dhs really have CPAPs, or one of those?  She called it a CPAP until we asked her about his experience and she clarified.  Was his broken?  Why was it so loud and why did it seem like it was drowning him with air?  Changing the pressure did nothing - it would ramp right back up.  After his experience, I can't imagine anyone actually sleeping better with one of those...

ETA: not sure if it makes any difference,  but thought I should add that dh's snoring has nothing to do with weight. .. he's gone up one inch in waist size since we got married,  to a 33...

I don't have an answer for you, but had the same experience.  Dh had a CPAP and there was no way he was getting any sleep with that thing.  He tried quite a while and then gave it back.  I can't imagine how anyone could sleep with that on; it looked so uncomfortable.  And yet people do. 

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DH has a CPAP that is silent, but I can hear it anyway.  Kind of like how you can walk into a building and know there’s a TV on somewhere, on mute.  He did a research study for a new machine and that thing was awesome!  I couldn’t even hear it existing, but sadly, he had to return it when the study was over.  I think both machines have been Fischer and Paykel’s.

DH is usually on the low end of normal weight and has had sleep apnea diagnosed since his 20’s.  It got worse after his back injury and attempts at chiropractic care, so I suspect that’s actually the driving force behind the snoring and apnea.  ENT ruled out tonsils and sinuses as the cause (although I disagree that they are “fine”).  He still snores lightly with the CPAP on, and I think that’s because the issue doesn’t originate with airway at all, but his spine.  I just go to bed first, and I stick an earbud in one ear with rain sounds playing from a streaming app.  It shuts off and falls out of my ear about the time DH settles in and the light snoring stops.  The only time I wake up is when the nose piece is at the end of its useful life, because it pops off and “whistles” obnoxiously.

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My DH's cpap is very quiet. And it's not a full faced mask, just "nose pillows."  Maybe those with bad experiences should lobby to try something different?

I will say, when DH's machine isn't set to the right level, he will snore with it on. And his mouth will fall open and the air rushes out like a wind tunnel. But when all is set correctly, it's very, very quiet. 

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I thought of this thread when listening to Clark Howard's podcast from Jan 8. He was broadcasting from the Consumer Electronic Show (CES) and someone was debuting a new product for snorers. It's essentially an eye mask that works with a smart phone and it somehow vibrates/puts pressure on the snorer to get them to move. The developer is a snorer and said it works great.

I have no idea if it will actually work, or if it will work on all snorers, but I wanted to pass it along. It might be a great alternative to the CPAP machines for those who are hesitant to wear such a device.

As of the podcast, they had 500 units built and ready to sell. The regular price $179 and it's on sale for $125.

https://hupnos.com/

If someone buys one, please come back to this thread and let the rest of us know if it works! 😄

 

 

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DH will snore a little when the mask is askew.   Originally, I really hadn't minded the snoring, even though he is legendary about it.  I am just someone able to sleep with noise (light is a problem).    But, within a short order after my Grandfather dying likely of Apnea and my dad getting getting a sleep study, then DH getting a sleep study showing him to have Severe Apnea.   So, I got it in my head that every Apnea Event might take something like 5 minutes off his life.   I became quite Vigilant about DH using his CPAP and I'll wake him up if it is even askew.   For a while there I was waking him up because our Dog started snoring and she sleeps on his side of the bed.    What is a hoot is that DH thought the dog snores were loud.   I think I laughed so hard I fell out of the chair.  

Someone mentioned their DH took the CPAP camping.   That was a HUGE benefit for me.  DH used to love primitive camping, in fact he taught primitive camping at Boy Scout camp.   Now DH needs a electrical outlet when camping (happy sigh).  

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8 hours ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

I move to the couch when dh is snoring(instead of him) for a few reasons.

I am half his size and that's less strain on the couch.  

I can sleep anywhere. 

He has a physically demanding job and needs sleep.  Not that I dont, but again. I can sleep anywhere. 

We don't have big snoring problems but this reminded me of nights when I have left the bed to go sleep on the couch for whatever reason - it was just more practical all the way around for me to be the one to move.  I could sleep fine on the couch whereas he could not (too tall, for one thing); I didn't have to be up, wide-awake and sharp to perform at an outside job the next morning. When he'd get up for work, I would need to be up with the kids anyway, but we could snuggle in bed with picture books if I was tired.  He didn't have that luxury. So for our family setup at that time, it made the most sense for me to leave him the bed.  

I do agree that OP's husband should get checked out! 

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I have my own bedroom after spending YEARS on the couch almost every night.  I have a nicely decorated room with a queen bed (matching headboard/night stands)-- sitting area and closet (but I still keep my clothes in the master's walk in closet as I prefer the shower in the master bath over the hallway bath.  DH and I have no issue finding time for visiting and tea.  I do miss our 'pillow talk' and cuddles...  My room does double as the guest room-- but this is only a few times each year.

My husband has terrible apnea.   He has had 2 surgeries that helped for a few years-- but he did NOT have the one surgery he has needed since he was in high school (under-developed lower jaw)-- he opted for braces back then.. having his tonsils out helped-- he also had some throat/sinus stuff done about 10 years ago.  Our oldest dd had the same issue as DH (under-developed jaw) and she snored terribly as a teen-- she is also an aspie-- so not sleeping really added to her issues!  The surgery was not easy-- but not really painful either (a few weeks with a soft-food diet and lots of rubber bands in her mouth)-- the swelling and bruising was the worst part-- 2 months later she was a totally different person as she was finally getting a good night's sleep-- no issues since!  DH just does not want the swellling/bruising... 

DH (because of his jaw) was never able to find a CPAP machine that would fit-- it has been about 5 years since he tried-- I've been urging him to try again.

DH now officially has heart disease-- so he told me last night he wants to look into it again-- but WILL NOT do another sleep study unless it is one done in our home. 

 

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A high-quality current generation CPAP/APAP (ResMed AutoSet 10 being best) should be very quiet. Almost imperceptible to a sleeping partner. 

@Jann in TX if your husband is not a "mouth breather" he could use either a nasal mask or nasal pillows irrespective of having a short jawline.

The nasal pillows called P10s by ResMed have what's almost a cult following for the way they gently disperse exhaust air.

Bill

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