Poll: Conflict Resolution - A Much Needed Skill

[Lisa R.]

There is a video showing showing, in my opinion, some poor conflict resolution. I just wish there was a way people could diffuse conflict. I wish adults didn't feel the need to "teach" other adults. I wish people could just be polite if they feel irritated or work to diffuse situations.

Video found in this story: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6522131/Mom-fire-video-shows-losing-service-dog-handler.html It already has millions of views. (Can I ask you refrain from comments about this news site? It had a fairly information about the story as well as the video.) Basically, a woman had a service dog and a young mom asked if her two year old could pet the dog. Apparently young mom was curtly told "no" (mother said an accompanying friend also cursed at them) and young mom wanted to instruct the dog owner to be more courteous. Her feedback was not taken well.

Also, this trend of filming people and putting it on the internet for all to see...Wow. We all need to behave in public!!

[TechWife]

I agree that there are very poor conflict resolution skills in play by both parties. I think the person with the service dog was correct, though, in that she gave a direct answer. The mother of the two year old created a conflict by deciding that 1) her child should be exempt from the no petting rule (the dog had a vest on that said not to pet) and then by 2) deciding that the person needed to be told she wasn’t nice enough. 

I also don’t understand the phenomenon of recording everything and putting it on the internet for the world to see. Ever since cameras on phones became ubiquitous, people seem to view the world through a camera lens and/or perform for the camera instead of participating in it - the world truly does seem to have turned into a stage. 

[Lisa R.]

2 minutes ago, OKBud said:

I feel very, very sorry for the little girl. The video should not have been posted.

"No" is a complete sentence, full stop. Her argument is that she should have been told no in a friendlier way. That is a ridiculous argument, because "no" isn't not-nice, it's simply no. There is no "excellent conflict resolution strategy" for her to employ to convince the woman that she should have told her "no" in a more round-about way, because not accepting the "no" in the first place lacks grace of any kind. 

 

I view this differently. I believe the mother failed to see the vest that said not to pet. I think she’s “guilty” of being naive for 1) being unaware service animals should not be petted by strangers in public and 2)thinking this woman would be receptive to the feedback to respond more politely. 

Yes, “no” is a complete sentence. However, wouldn’t it be kinder to say, “nope! This is a service animal.”  It would’ve taken two seconds and could be a pat answer for the many times this question is asked. It also helps spread the message that service animals are not like other pets. Is service dog owner obligated? No. Could she be kinder? Yes. Could she have diffused the tension? Yes. 

IMO

[Pen]

“No.” Is more than sufficient.  Some people with service dogs might not even be able to say no  due to disability.  

[PrincessMommy]

While I understand that "no" is a complete sentence I do think the dog owner could have diffused the situation be being a little kinder. Not so much what she said but how she said it.  Then if the mom persisted, gone with "no, means no."  I just don't understand why people can't be a little nicer.. It only takes a second.

But, I also wanted to vote "Not enough information to make a decision" because maybe the owner had already been asked a million times if someone's special snowflake can pet their dog and/or were having a crappy day...and they finally had had enough.   Unfortunately, someone's bad day may be what made the news. 

I agree that our society wants to video everything and I find that troubling.  

[DesertBlossom]

I read the poll wrong and voted for the mom.... but I meant the woman with the service dog was more correct. Sure, she could have explained her no. But saying "no" isn't rude. And the dog owner didn't owe the mom an explanation. No is enough. 

[Katy]

Almost everyone knows you're not supposed to pet a service dog.

I hate entitled jerks, and that's what this mother is.

[Rosie_0801]

3 hours ago, PrincessMommy said:

  I just don't understand why people can't be a little nicer.. It only takes a second.

 

People with disabilities are expected to explain themselves constantly and put the comfort of people who have fewer difficulties to negotiate before themselves all the time. It's boring to have the same conversations over and over, they aren't being paid to teach, and they are actually people with actual personalities and hobbies that don't make it into conversation because there isn't time to get past the obvious. Either the person addressing them doesn't get the answer they want and goes off in a huff, or they do and feel like they've imposed too much already. So, it might only take a second per person, but they can add up to your whole public life.

[J-rap]

For some reason I couldn't really catch the first part when the mom asked to pet the dog...  Sure, maybe the dog's owner could have said it more kindly.  (I couldn't really hear that part)...  But she's not obligated to.  A quick NO to stop them was probably needed.  A disabled person often has a hard enough life as is. The mom should know that, apologize, and move on.  

I'm so tired of people trying to catch people doing something wrong on camera and then posting it to embarrass them though.  I'm sure it feels like a type of revenge, but that's not good either.  

So, yeah -- both handled the situation in a way that escalated the anger, but I think it was up to the mom to make the first move by just quietly moving on.

[gardenmom5]

5 hours ago, Lisa R. said:

There is a video showing showing, in my opinion, some poor conflict resolution. I just wish there was a way people could diffuse conflict. I wish adults didn't feel the need to "teach" other adults. I wish people could just be polite if they feel irritated or work to diffuse situations.

Video found in this story: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6522131/Mom-fire-video-shows-losing-service-dog-handler.html It already has millions of views. (Can I ask you refrain from comments about this news site? It had a fairly information about the story as well as the video.) Basically, a woman had a service dog and a young mom asked if her two year old could pet the dog. Apparently young mom was curtly told "no" (mother said an accompanying friend also cursed at them) and young mom wanted to instruct the dog owner to be more courteous. Her feedback was not taken well.

Also, this trend of filming people and putting it on the internet for all to see...Wow. We all need to behave in public!!

AFTER mom found out she was being recorded, and people were against her - she claimed someone cursed at her.  in the video, she's screeching about being told "no"  was "too harsh" and "blunt" and should have been softened.   and . . that the dog should have had a sign saying it was a service dog and not to pet it (it did).  (so - if someone really had said that - she would have screeched about it on the video.)

mom is a special snowflake who is a horrible example to her young daughter.

[Paige]

I read somewhere else, maybe facebook, where the dog's owner spoke up and said she had autism and finds speaking very difficult. 

I think when you see a service dog, you have NO idea what the dog's job is and you don't know what special needs the person with the dog has, and it is beyond rude to presume that the dog is there to serve you. 

IMO, the only person in the wrong in this situation was the mother. My opinion would not change if the owner did not have autism- she doesn't need to explain to strangers about her disability or her dog's jobs.

Edited December 23, 2018 by Paige

[easypeasy]

The person with the service dog is 100% in the right on this one. I've been in situations with a certain friend who... attracts a lot of attention when we are out in public due to her career. Now, her career has nothing to do with me. When we are together, we're just two friends who somehow managed to squeeze out some time to actually spend together (without kids, yay!) and are spending that time talking. The near *constant* interruptions from people asking for this or that... "it'll just take a second".... omg. It's insane.

The service dog person, I daresay, gets asked this question a gazillion times every time they go out. When I'm out and SEE a person with a service dog, I see someone ask them this question EVERY SINGLE TIME! So, it's got to happen all. the. time.

What do we say around here all the time? "No is a complete sentence" !!! It applies to this person with the service dog as well, no matter their disability.

Heck, it applies to me with MY dog and he's not a service dog and I'm not disabled! But people shouldn't assume that they could/should pet any dog and if the owner says "No," well... then... NO!

If the owner was in the middle of a conversation with a friend, interrupted by this mom, what's she supposed to do? Stop her interesting conversation and educate this ignorant woman about service dogs? Heck no. "No" and she moves back to what she was doing beforehand. Perfectly fine.

 

[SKL]

I didn't hear how they spoke to the mom in the first place, but assuming they were not nasty in tone etc., I think it is OK for the dog owners to say "no" and leave it at that.  I would rather they did add a simple explanation, e.g., "no, he's a service dog at work," even if that fact was obvious.  But they do not "owe" this to others.  "No" is abundantly clear.

I believe it's inappropriate for adults to tell other adults how to behave.  I have had this happen to me a couple times, and it definitely doesn't make the world a better place.  Though, if someone really did cuss at the woman, then I could understand telling the person off a bit.

I'm very uncomfortable with people acting this way around children.  I could understand saying to your own child, "my, those people could have been more friendly" or "I don't approve of that kind of language."  But to have a confrontation in front of a child is unsettling at best.  Partly because you don't know how the other party is going to react.

Videotaping after the person asked you to stop is probably legal, but obnoxious.  Posting it is even more obnoxious.  People need to grow up.

[Carrie12345]

Admittedly, I only got about 5 seconds into the video before turning it off. It physically bothered me trying to listen to the mom.

I have kids who have always wanted to interact with every dog they see, and it wasn't easy to break them of their natural urge to approach dogs in general, but it was *simple* to get them to recognize that vested dogs were off limits. The visual was clear to them even as toddlers. No one can convince me that a grown woman doesn't realize a vest typically indicates a working animal. She made a choice not to care.

I don't think there IS any real chance of conflict resolution between random strangers when at least one party simply doesn't GAS.

[wintermom]

This interaction should never have even reached "conflict" stage if a reasonable adult cannot understand that a working dog means no petting. 

[frogger]

I really try not to parent adults but some people make it so tempting. It would be easier if adults actually acted like adults. 

 

I really dislike how people post films of others online in general, especially to laugh at them or even to show off their good deed. Yuck. I will say that if a person refuses to leave you alone or is yelling at you, it may be the only weapon you have. Certainly better than a kick in the head plus it can be used as evidence if things get out of hand and some people will change their behaivor once they see that they are being recorded. I don't know if this circumstance warranted it as I don't know what happened before or after but there are cases where it can be a good thing.

Edited December 23, 2018 by frogger

[Pen]

Out of curiosity, I am wondering how the people who voted for the mom being in the right (other than DesertBlossom) understand the mom to be in the right?

 The dog is clearly vested with a “Do not pet” sign.   For a sighted human that should already have sufficed.   

Eta: I looked again.   Nala the dog’s most visible patch from above  has both words -don’t pet me I’m working—and a black hand petting dog with red slash through it (like a no smoking 🚭 sign ) for people who cannot read English words.  Nala  is also wearing a “stop staring” patch which to me would clearly indicate that dog handler does not want interaction with strangers regarding dog or disability or anything else that might relate to staring.

Incidentally, there are icon patches made that say something like, “Ask to pet me,” with green instead of red around the sign, and no  red slash mark through the petting icon), for situations where the owner doesn’t mind the dog being petted while working. 

Edited December 23, 2018 by Pen

[DesertBlossom]

Even if the dog owner had been incredibly rude from the onset of this interaction, what kind of person takes that as their cue to school them in manners? I don't like any kind of confrontation and that would have been my cue to move along quickly. To go back and tell the owner (another full grown adult) that she needs to be nicer.... seriously, who does that?

Edited December 23, 2018 by DesertBlossom

[May]

Is it not common knowledge that you show never ask to pet a service animal? It’s one thing if it is offered but otherwise mind you own business. As far as just saying “no” to request, I don’t have a problem with that.

[hornblower]

I don't think it's up to a person with a disability to constantly educate everyone around them. That would be so tiring. They just want to go about their business. Leave them alone. Mom with kid was way out of line. 

[Innisfree]

14 hours ago, Paige said:

I think when you see a service dog, you have NO idea what the dog's job is and you don't know what special needs the person with the dog has, and it is beyond rude to presume that the dog is there to serve you. 

I think Paige hit the nail on the head here.

The dog's owner, if she has autism, *has a disability affecting social interactions*. So, no surprise if navigating this situation was hard for her. The mom has no idea what kind of stress the dog owner is already dealing with, and no idea how difficult interactions may be.

If the dog owner does not have autism, the mom still has no idea what her disability may be. 

Service dogs exist because people need extra help. 

Disabled people do not owe the whole world complicated explanations of why things are hard or why kids shouldn't pet their dogs. 

[mom2scouts]

Although I voted that the person with the service dog was more correct, I'm not sure there's enough information. The mom claimed that the friend of the person with the service dog told her to "F*** off" and in that case I can see the woman getting angry and coming back to confront them for their rudeness. If it was just a curt "no", the mom should have just moved on and gone on with her day. In that case, there was no excuse for her to come back and try to tell them to be nicer about it. The person with the service dog isn't obligated to do anything more after saying no.

[HS Mom in NC]

I think most people who think the service dog owner should've been "nicer" and explained have NO IDEA how condescending it is expecting people in unusual situations to explain things. I'm the adoptive parent of a child of an obviously different race and couldn't go places with her without people wanting me to explain our situation to them-total strangers.That was before she was talking, it tapered off after she was verbal. I don't ask you about the details of your child's conception (High tech or old fashioned? How long did it take you to conceive?)  No, no one owes you an explanation.

As to the service dog situation, it's not rude to give a firm, one word answer-it's neutral. I think people upset by that kind of answer have a personal emotional issue underlying that needs addressing or they have missed out on the updated Modern American cultural norms.  Ingratiating language is no longer expected of women and children.    It's common knowledge that service dogs are not to be pet when working, yet people who train them (I have a friend whose done that) constantly have to tell people in words what they refused to respect in bold print on the dog: Do not pet. It's like a one way street sign, yes, traffic only goes one way on this street and no, stopping to ask the traffic cop if you can be exempt from the one way rule is very rude and obnoxious of you.

[PeachyDoodle]

18 hours ago, DesertBlossom said:

I read the poll wrong and voted for the mom.... but I meant the woman with the service dog was more correct. Sure, she could have explained her no. But saying "no" isn't rude. And the dog owner didn't owe the mom an explanation. No is enough. 

I did the same thing. 

[Pen]

3 hours ago, May said:

Is it not common knowledge that you show never ask to pet a service animal? It’s one thing if it is offered but otherwise mind you own business. As far as just saying “no” to request, I don’t have a problem with that.

 

If not common knowledge, maybe the video will help it become so!

In any case,  the dog was wearing several patches , at least one of which clearly visible in video says not to pet it. The audio indicates that the leash also says not to pet the dog.  

The mom’s initial request to talk to a boss or supervisor seems weird.  Like she still has not taken no for an answer and wants to take it higher up the chain of command.  

She does get some education such as being told that interfering with a service dog is a misdemeanor .  She doesn’t seem willing to accept that though as she threatens to call police and her lawyer.  

 

[Teaching3bears]

My first impression was that the mother was completely lacking in humility.  I have been in situations where people gave me a blunt "no" and it hurt but I backed away and did not ask them to be kinder.  We push people, and especially young women to stand up for themselves and be assertive and maybe it was coming from that kind of place from this young mom though she was using bad judgement.  I also got the impression that once she took a stand she felt she could not back down.  Her self-righteousness increased and her fight increased.  As others said, the other woman did nothing to diffuse and then someone videotaped so the whole world got to see this ugly situation.  Let it be a lesson to us all to put kindness first.  How ironic, considering the act of petting a dog is one of kindness and affection and teaching a child to pet a dog is supposed to teach them kindness.  

 

 

 

[Sneezyone]

4 hours ago, PeachyDoodle said:

I did the same thing. 

 

Me too. 

[Tanaqui]

Would it have been more polite if the woman with the service job had said "No, sorry" or "No, if you pet service dogs you distract them"? Sure, maybe - but let's be serious, it doesn't look or sound like this woman was willing to accept that answer no matter how it was phrased.

And as for "maybe she'd had a million questions that day" - lol, that's every stinking day when you're visibly out of the norm! If you have five children, every day a million people will make a "clever" comment implying that you don't know how babies happen or that your hands must be really full. If you carry your child in a wrap instead of using a stroller, every day a million people will "cutely" ask your child if they think they're too old for that. (RAAR! Don't do that!) As I think most of us know, if you go out in the middle of a school day with your kids, a million people will ask if school is out of session, and if you say that you homeschool half of them will start quizzing your children and the other half will ask you directly if you're absolutely sure you're qualified to do that (is it legal? aren't you worried they won't be socialized? aren't you worried they won't be on grade level? really? REALLY?)

I have pet dogs, not service dogs, and without fail, every time I walk them at least one person decides it's funny to yell "AY, CHIHUAHUA!" and another asks if one of my cute dogs is a poodle and the other is a chihuahua. It gets so old, and sometimes I have a sore throat or I'm tired or I'm completely feeling unsocial. Sometimes I can't really find the energy or the words to say much. Like many people with many  disabilities, it's not always easy for me to speak with people, especially in unplanned, spontaneous encounters. (And like lots of people, it's off-and-on. Just because I was able to have a great conversation with you yesterday doesn't mean I'll be able to do more than the basics tomorrow.) And there are just so many reasons a person might not be able to engage in conversation with total strangers, even if they particularly want to. You can't and shouldn't expect it. You ask if you can pet a dog, the owner says "no" - well, all right then. Does it really matter why not? Does it really matter if they phrased it super nicely?

What matters is that you asked, they answered, and now you can both move on with your lives.

[happi duck]

Even with a pet, not a service animal, if someone asks to pet a dog the answer might be "no" and should just be accepted.

Aren't we trying to get to a place where people, in lots of situations, can feel comfortable saying "no" without feeling like they owe anything to strangers?  Without feeling like one must be "sweet" at all times?

(I'm not suggesting everyone should be thoughtlessly rude.)

[Alice]

I said not enough info. From the video, I’d say the mother is more to blame but the more of these kind of things that get posted online, the more I feel like we (as a society) are all too quick to rush to judgment. We’re seeing a tiny clip from an interaction and it’s hard to know exactly what happened.

And even though I think the mother is likely more to blame, the fact that the service dog owner posted the video online makes me biased against her, it’s such a horrible trend. I can understand taking the video, if she felt threatened and wanted to intimidate the mother and make her go away or was worried about having evidence for her own protection. But posting it is really unnecessary. 

[DesertBlossom]

44 minutes ago, Alice said:

I said not enough info. From the video, I’d say the mother is more to blame but the more of these kind of things that get posted online, the more I feel like we (as a society) are all too quick to rush to judgment. We’re seeing a tiny clip from an interaction and it’s hard to know exactly what happened.

And even though I think the mother is likely more to blame, the fact that the service dog owner posted the video online makes me biased against her, it’s such a horrible trend. I can understand taking the video, if she felt threatened and wanted to intimidate the mother and make her go away or was worried about having evidence for her own protection. But posting it is really unnecessary. 

I agree that people shouldn't be recording everything or posting it online. But part of me hopes it at least makes some people consider their actions. A while back there was a woman who accused a child of assualting her in a store, touching her backside as he walked by. Someone posted the video of her berating the child and family. The poor kid was in tears. Later surveillance video showed it was his backpack that brushed against her.  The child hadn't done anything wrong. This woman's reaction was so out of line, I don't know that anything but a little public humiliation would show her she was in the wrong. But maybe not them either.... 

[Pen]

4 hours ago, Alice said:

I said not enough info. From the video, I’d say the mother is more to blame but the more of these kind of things that get posted online, the more I feel like we (as a society) are all too quick to rush to judgment. We’re seeing a tiny clip from an interaction and it’s hard to know exactly what happened.

And even though I think the mother is likely more to blame, the fact that the service dog owner posted the video online makes me biased against her, it’s such a horrible trend. I can understand taking the video, if she felt threatened and wanted to intimidate the mother and make her go away or was worried about having evidence for her own protection. But posting it is really unnecessary. 

 

I rewatched the video and needed to change what I wrote.  

I empathize  with your distress about people posting such videos (especially for me in this case for the sake of the child in it).  

I myself don’t know for sure who filmed the interaction or posted it.  There seem to be possibly as many as 4 maybe even 6 different adults involved.  The mom, the mom’s friend (who takes the child and speaks toward the end), the woman she is speaking to, the person taking the video, and the person holding the dog’s leash.  Maybe the person holding the leash and taking the video are the same person.  But it could also be the friend of the dog owner taking the video (perhaps the one who allegedly used the F word to the mom, or a bystander or other member of the group that seems to be gathered at the right). 

Toward the very end, a person shows up in the video with golden retriever on leash (saying it’s illegal to harass service dogs) who I initially thought were Nala and her owner, but who I now think may be a different golden retriever and owner.  If that is Nala’s owner then someone else was filming.  

To me it almost looked like the Mom was playing for the camera at first, and then got upset about the filming later when it appears that her view about what there should have been in terms of signs and speaking nicely to her isn’t being supported.  

 

Edited December 24, 2018 by Pen
Clarity/ fix autocorrect

[Pawz4me]

1 hour ago, Pen said:

 

I myself don’t know for sure who filmed the interaction or posted it.  There seem to be possibly as many as 4 maybe even 6 different adults involved.  The mom, the mom’s friend (who takes the child and speaks toward the end), the woman she is speaking to, the person taking the video, and the person holding the dog’s leash.  Maybe the person holding the leash and taking the video are the same person.  But it could also be the friend of the dog owner taking the video (perhaps the one who allegedly used the F word to the mom, or a bystander or other member of the group that seems to be gathered at the right). 

 

I'm also totally unclear on who was filming. There was certainly nothing there that made me definitely assume it was the disabled person involved in the altercation.

[Pen]

On 12/22/2018 at 3:11 PM, Lisa R. said:

There is a video showing showing, in my opinion, some poor conflict resolution. I just wish there was a way people could diffuse conflict. I wish adults didn't feel the need to "teach" other adults. I wish people could just be polite if they feel irritated or work to diffuse situations.

 

Since you posted this with regard to conflict resolution, what do you think could have been done to better resolve the conflict?

 

[Alice]

4 hours ago, DesertBlossom said:

I agree that people shouldn't be recording everything or posting it online. But part of me hopes it at least makes some people consider their actions. A while back there was a woman who accused a child of assualting her in a store, touching her backside as he walked by. Someone posted the video of her berating the child and family. The poor kid was in tears. Later surveillance video showed it was his backpack that brushed against her.  The child hadn't done anything wrong. This woman's reaction was so out of line, I don't know that anything but a little public humiliation would show her she was in the wrong. But maybe not them either.... 

I can see that but the problem I have with it is that everyone can have a bad day. Posting it online I feel like is a way of labeling the person as being one way, it gives no grace. Maybe this mother had a particular horrible day. Maybe she was fired from her job. Maybe her kid was having one of those super annoying kid days and she was just at her wit’s end. Or maybe she’s just and entitled horrible person who makes a habit of going around yelling at people. But as soon as it gets posted online and has potential to get shared and go viral...she becomes only that horrible entitled person that everyone is talking about.  And I think posting the video that has her child in it is particularly egregious. 

3 hours ago, Pen said:

 

I rewatched the video and needed to change what I wrote.  

I empathize  with your distress about people posting such videos (especially for me in this case for the sake of the child in it).  

I myself don’t know for sure who filmed the interaction or posted it.  There seem to be possibly as many as 4 maybe even 6 different adults involved.  The mom, the mom’s friend (who takes the child and speaks toward the end), the woman she is speaking to, the person taking the video, and the person holding the dog’s leash.  Maybe the person holding the leash and taking the video are the same person.  But it could also be the friend of the dog owner taking the video (perhaps the one who allegedly used the F word to the mom, or a bystander or other member of the group that seems to be gathered at the right). 

Toward the very end, a person shows up in the video with golden retriever on leash (saying it’s illegal to harass service dogs) who I initially thought were Nala and her owner, but who I now think may be a different golden retriever and owner.  If that is Nala’s owner then someone else was filming.  

To me it almost looked like the Mom was playing for the camera at first, and then got upset about the filming later when it appears that her view about what there should have been in terms of signs and speaking nicely to her isn’t being supported.  

 

 

That’s a really good point. Although, I think I read a news article that seemed to suggest it was the same person. That’s where I made that assumption. But I could be wrong. 

It also sounded like from some of the articles online that it was a group of people who were training service dogs, not one person with a dog. So it could have been any of them taking the video, I suppose. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ignore the fact that this is on a Mercola site - it was the first listing for service dog etiquette - and should be pretty much common sense.

https://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2016/01/23/behavior-around-service-dog-team.aspx

[Pen]

2 hours ago, Alice said:

I can see that but the problem I have with it is that everyone can have a bad day. Posting it online I feel like is a way of labeling the person as being one way, it gives no grace. Maybe this mother had a particular horrible day. Maybe she was fired from her job. Maybe her kid was having one of those super annoying kid days and she was just at her wit’s end. Or maybe she’s just and entitled horrible person who makes a habit of going around yelling at people. But as soon as it gets posted online and has potential to get shared and go viral...she becomes only that horrible entitled person that everyone is talking about.  And I think posting the video that has her child in it is particularly egregious. 

 

I agree that all the people involved are probably far more complex beings than the short clip shows .  Many may have had a bad day.  And holiday season seems to stress a lot of people.

“Shopping mall rage,” or at least short tempers,  could be a thing sort of like road rage.  

My own experience is that people with disabilities tend to get viewed in narrow ways l, often defined by the disability, whether or not there’s a video.

And unfortunately harassment of people with disabilities is fairly common, so this situation also could be that the Mom was a last straw sort of frustration these people were having as well as the other way around.  And a sort of built up frustration of “look what we have to put up with” being a general feeling prompting posting this example that got caught in film.  

Many people with disabilities are also frequently hassled (personal experience) when there is no support group around—and may be physically in a much more vulnerable position than the person hassling them.

 This sense of being vulnerable can result in fear which can shift to anger and fighting back more than what may seem reasonable to someone who doesn’t feel vulnerable  .

I think encounters like this in my own life have left me with some PTSD feelings where when the Mom went to the stroller to get something (maybe wallet), I wondered if she was going to pull out a gun.

And as much as the mom may have all sorts of difficulties in her life, some people with Service Dogs (not necessarily the one who owns Nala) May have them for things that result in chronic pain and or tiredness with result of it being especially easy to feel crabby.

ETA:   some  strangers seem to believe a dog is automatically available for petting by strangers— and the Mom seemed to believe the owner had to give a sweet explanation of why not.  Had it been a blind person’s cane that the child wanted to try out, it might have been more clear how unreasonable the request was and that it takes no explanation.  

Similarly, the Mom might not feel that a stranger wanting to hold her daughter (or asking for their older child to practice holding a younger one) should be entitled to do that, nor that she would have to say anything more than “no” if asked.  It’s actually a similar situation. A stranger is not automatically entitled to handle ones dog or child or cell phone or purse. ... and one does not owe the stranger a special reason. 

 

 

Quote

That’s a really good point. Although, I think I read a news article that seemed to suggest it was the same person. That’s where I made that assumption. But I could be wrong. 

 

As I said, I don’t know.  I initially thought the woman we can see holding the Golden Retriever was the woman who owns the SD the Mom wanted her daughter to pet—thus not possible for her to be the person filming.    But when I rewatched, I was not sure if it was the same dog.  So you may well be right.   News articles are not always correct either.  

Quote

It also sounded like from some of the articles online that it was a group of people who were training service dogs, not one person with a dog. So it could have been any of them taking the video, I suppose. 

 

There is at least one other person with a Service Dog (a GSD) showing in the video itself. And the way that  person is sitting on the ground along with others does suggest a group dealing with disabilities and perhaps doing SD training. If so, I wonder if they have looked at the video and considered how to deal with such situations in future.  

I had guessed it to be a group of disabled people, maybe on a group trip to mall for holidays, a few of whom have SDs  or SDs in training.  

 It certainly did not appear to be a group of dogs there to be petted and read to by children as our library sometimes has. Nor a humane society group there to find homes for dogs.  For dogs to be indoors in a business area in US usually presumes that they are SDs  ( not supposed to be interfered with) or otherwise  there for a special reason. 

Edited December 24, 2018 by Pen

[Pen]

Sadly, also, there are probably dogs in shelters who would be craving some petting from a little girl if only the Mom could link the child up with dogs who need more affection and attention in their lives.