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hornblower

ok it's just hair but

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so, I haven't cried over my hair since this whole cancer thing began a year ago....until today. I went to the salon for a trim and wanted to cover up a bit of the grey. My stylist used a color all over and my hair turned orange. The only way we could think to fix it was to apply bleach to it and try to lighten it. So now it's just a bit less orange 😞 And there really wasn't much he could do to shape it either. I wish I could turn back time and not go...I think I should have left it alone because now I feel like i have to go back into wigs again. I hate it. Almost want to shave it to nothing again....  Bawling

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Oh man. That's awful. Especially when you finally have grown hair again. I would have cried too.  👩‍👧‍👧   (I am using this as the new group hug smiley).

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I suggest you call another salon and go do color correction.  It’s a bit of a different skill set, but a talented colorist should be able to tone and adjust that to a much less obnoxious shade.

 

It isn’t just hair, it is part of how you represent yourself to the world and as much a part of your identity as anything else in your appearance.  Being upset about it is completely and utterly reasonable!

Edited by Arctic Mama
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I’m sorry. Chemo can have all sorts of effects on hair besides hair falling out. I agree that it is more than just hair. When I started writing a journal after my diagnosis, my first entry was about my hair. I feel a little vain about that but I don’t want my hair to change. 

I agree that a color correction specialist, or even someone who works with cancer survivors if you can locate one, would be worthwhile. 

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Just ((hugs)) Hornblower.  This time of year would make me especially sensitive as well - just so much emotion around the holidays and then this. 😞

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Thank you everyone. I'm still upset about it this morning. I feel like I've wasted 4 months of precious hair growth. It's still so very very short, looks like a shapeless man's short buzz cut & quite thin in places. Before it was just boring color, now it's really stupid. I swear I looked better bald. I was not wearing a wig to school anymore for the last month or so - just to clinicals. I was hoping my hair would be 'normal' enough to just blend in in clinical & I could ditch the wig (because it's itchy and doesn't fit quite right, especially when it's pinned back which it has to be for clinical) but now there is no way I can go to clinical with this hair. YaelAldrich, I've had that site bookmarked since last spring & I tried covering a few times. I would have to buy a shaper because wrapping with no hair doesn't look good on me. Thx for reminding me of that option. I can't figure out whether this would be simpler than wigs or not. I guess I could get a scarf to match my uniform scrubs 

on the breast cancer boards I've gotten some advice about how to try to tame this chemo hair disaster. I'm not sure about going to another pro. I'm feeling burned. (And honestly in the last few years both dd & i have had too many meh experiences with salons. Expensive, well reviewed places but the results are not great and several times both of us have come out thinking we looked better on the way in. What is with that? Why is blonde so hard now? It's like the products are not as good as they used to be or something...I mean the chemo hair I understand goes crazy, but even with normal hair, she & I have both struggled with getting good blonde colors). 

 I'm still bummed & I didn't sleep well last night...and tonight is dh's office party which I agreed to go to in a fit of extroversion and I'm now regretting. 

Thank you everyone for the hugs & support & offers of hats. You're all great.. I have to go start getting ready now so I'm logging off till tomorrow. 


 

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Hello everyone - just reporting that I've regained my sense of humor about this. 

I've already acted out Anne's tearful "he positively assured me it would turn my hair a beautiful raven black" while throwing myself down in a dramatic heap.  That was fun

Then I cracked myself up by remarking that "it's growing on me" 

I hit it with some purple shampoo and conditioner to no avail - if you listened closely you could hear my hair laughing at the idea that such things would have any effect. So right now I'm stuck with what is really shiny and decidely bright and very yellow hair. Like a demented christmas angel fairy godmother crossed with Tilda Swinton. 

Ds says I look like Tintin (I even have a silly cowlick on the front) which I leapt on to suggest that it meant I needed a small white dog in my life but the rest of the family ignored that idea. 

I've almost convinced myself it's a festive 'look' that I should just embrace. It's definitely not....boring....   Thank you for all the support and the hugs.

 

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Aw man. 

Are you allowed to do outrageous hair colors during clinicals? If so, does a funky/fun color appeal to you? (Blue, pink, purple?) 

Here's to hoping it grows on you more and more...or you find a solution you love. 

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"It's as close as I could get to a halo."

"I was feeling festive, so I decided something bright suited me perfectly!"

"I decided that a sparkly do sounded fun for the holidays!"

Make it your thing for as long as you feel "in the holiday spirit".  

I'm sorry it happened, but if there is anyone who could pull it off, it's you, Hornblower!  

((Hornblower))   

On the other hand:  it's wonderful to hear from you again, and under such non-life-threatening circumstances!!  Yaay! 

 

 

 

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(((Hugs))) Hornblower!  Your hair is important but you are more important.  Don't stress - so do what you must to destress.  Maybe that's leaving it alone or going to another salon.  Take GOOD care of yourself and please update so I may pray.  

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Whatever your hair may look like, you ROCK it. We love you. Your people love you. It's hair. Not just hair, but it's hair. You, under it, mean the world to so many. I hope you have a wonderful time at the party. (I know about going to hubby parties that you don't really want to go to--I went to the Mt. Vernon party every year, feeling super self-conscious because I never had a fab dress.) 

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10 hours ago, sheryl said:

(((Hugs))) Hornblower!  Your hair is important but you are more important.  Don't stress - so do what you must to destress.  Maybe that's leaving it alone or going to another salon.  Take GOOD care of yourself and please update so I may pray.  


You're so right! Stressing about this is not something I should be doing at all. I'm going to leave it alone for a bit and see how I feel in a few weeks. 

sheryl, I'm done with all my active treatment (the surgery, chemo and radiation) and that is good...but chemo really damaged my bone marrow (so I'm still immuno compromised) and the bones themselves (so now I have osteoporosis). And right now, emotionally the suckiest part is that they can never tell you if you're cured.  The best I heard it explained is that we can cure about 70% (of the type of cancer I had) but we don't know who will be cured and who will have a recurrence. (Plus the cure stats are usually 5-15 years and that seems...short). The only way you know you're cured is when you die years later of something else.... That's been hard to wrap my head around, especially now that treatment is finished and I don't really feel there's much I can do about my cancer.... except eat well, exercise, and stay happy. I know we're not promised or owed anything so it's all an amazing gift to be here but there are days I need serious reminding of that.  Thank you for your thoughts & prayers. 😘

 

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On 12/16/2018 at 8:45 PM, alisoncooks said:

Aw man. 

Are you allowed to do outrageous hair colors during clinicals? If so, does a funky/fun color appeal to you? (Blue, pink, purple?) 

Here's to hoping it grows on you more and more...or you find a solution you love. 

 

Well, it's funky as it is, kwim? It's really really really yellow. If you put out a bunch of brightly colored bold ornaments in purple and blue and pink and wanted to add a yellow, my head can just slot right in.

I think it will actually be fine because this is Vancouver and tolerance is a pretty big value here. So long as it doesn't compromise patient safety and infection control, I think I'm fine. Plus honestly, I can always play the cancer card 😛  I'm the oldest person the program and so far my instructors have all been great and full of nothing but encouragement so I think it will be ok. 

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Here's the big question: you don't have to renew your license or take a photo id anytime soon, do you? During the time that DH lost his hair from chemo, he had to renew his license. Luckily, he has a pretty good sense of humor because the picture is....unrecognizable. Normally he's a big bearded man (and he's back to that now); his license photo looks like his mother... but bald. It's amazing what a difference a beard and eyebrows make!  It's also pretty funny to see people's reactions when they ask for photo id...:p

Edited by alisoncooks
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2 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Here's the big question: you don't have to renew your license or take a photo id anytime soon, do you? During the time that DH lost his hair from chemo, he had to renew his license. Luckily, he has a pretty good sense of humor because the picture is....unrecognizable. Normally he's a big bearded man (and he's back to that now); his license photo looks like his mother... but bald. It's amazing what a difference a beard and eyebrows make!  It's also pretty funny to see people's reactions when they ask for photo id...:p

 

My driver's licence is OK for a few more years. My passport needs renewing but I'd wear one of my wigs for that. My school / clinical ID is in my long curly wig - it totally does not look like me at all. I know a woman on the breast cancer boards waited a bit too long to go renew her licence. She was sitting at her desk at the office and her hair was falling out in chunks so she just kept hairspraying it back on to her head and rushed to get the photo done after work...   

I look like voldemort without eyebrows. Wearing glasses helped a lot on the days when I failed at drawing them on. 

Glad your dh is back to his beard! Is he doing ok? I'm so behind on everyone's lives.... 

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My goodness. That poor woman. 

DH finished his maintenance almost a year ago (after being on chemo since Nov 2014). They identified some troubling chromosomal abnormalities (MDS) in January '18 that put him on the path to a bone marrow transplant, but somehow his body worked it out with no further treatment. The human body is weird!  All his current tests have come back totally clear. (Though it's hard to feel totally safe, ya know?) Thanks for asking. 🙂

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2 hours ago, hornblower said:


You're so right! Stressing about this is not something I should be doing at all. I'm going to leave it alone for a bit and see how I feel in a few weeks. 

sheryl, I'm done with all my active treatment (the surgery, chemo and radiation) and that is good...but chemo really damaged my bone marrow (so I'm still immuno compromised) and the bones themselves (so now I have osteoporosis). And right now, emotionally the suckiest part is that they can never tell you if you're cured.  The best I heard it explained is that we can cure about 70% (of the type of cancer I had) but we don't know who will be cured and who will have a recurrence. (Plus the cure stats are usually 5-15 years and that seems...short). The only way you know you're cured is when you die years later of something else.... That's been hard to wrap my head around, especially now that treatment is finished and I don't really feel there's much I can do about my cancer.... except eat well, exercise, and stay happy. I know we're not promised or owed anything so it's all an amazing gift to be here but there are days I need serious reminding of that.  Thank you for your thoughts & prayers. 😘

 

Got that!  I'm copying/pasting your reply to remember specifics in prayer.  Let me say that my sister had renal (kidney) cancer about 20 years ago.  She was told she "broke the mold" because she was a 40'ish year old woman.  She was told that older (I think) males usually got this type.  She is a survivor all of these years later and is doing well.  Yes, I know the type is different and you only need 1 kidney but she has to really protect the 1 she has.  May the God of all mercies bless you in a special way!  Please stay on the boards as it works for you!  Hopefully there will be some funny threads to bring a smile to your face.  Maybe we should start a clean humor thread! 🙂  

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