Wheres Toto Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Please don't quote as I will likely delete some things. Somebody I know is going through a divorce. They are both American citizens, although he holds dual-citizenship with another country. When divorce was filed, standing orders were issued that included things like maintaining insurance, not making large purchases, etc. Wife just found out that husband transferred out every single dollar they have to a friend of a friend in Jordan. We're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars. Husband then said he was off to visit his family and has not been heard from since. There are multiple children left at home. She was a SAHM and has been the entirety of their marriage as far as I know. I thought that $10K was the magic number that triggered all sorts of alarms/questions. I know that's the case for gifts and such. I would have thought that our country wouldn't be OK with some guy sending hundreds of thousands to a random person in Jordan without a little due diligence. There was none. Apparently, I was wrong. It now appears that in addition to being financially destitute, she may be liable for taxes on this money as well. There were also potentially considerable fees on the money transfer, etc. Her attorney has told her in the unlikely event he comes back, he will be charged with contempt of court....but basically that's a slap on the wrist, and nothing will happen to him. What advice would you give her? 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 (edited) 1. Keep a good lawyer and follow all advice. 2. Start from scratch. Emotionally write him off, unload whatever baggage needs to be unloaded, and assume that nothing good, right, or just will come out in her favour. Get a student loan, train for a reasonable mid-level job, secure low cost childcare and healthcare, get on whatever subsidies and programs are possible, ask for help and accept charity. She is the victim of theft of cash, years, and pieces of her very self. It’s deep and grevious, but the thief is gone. Cry, and start over. Edited to add 3. Never, ever let her children out of the country. To any destination. For any reason. Forever. Edited December 12, 2018 by bolt. 27 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Get a good lawyer. Secure the kids' passports immediately. He's done a terrible thing, but at the end of the day, it's only money. Thank goodness he didn't try to take the kids as well. 18 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 (I don’t mean that she should give up on trying to get her money back — just that she shouldn’t hang any hopes on the fairly-remote possibility that she will be successful.) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 (edited) 3 minutes ago, MinivanMom said: Get a good lawyer. Secure the kids' passports immediately. He's done a terrible thing, but at the end of the day, it's only money. Thank goodness he didn't try to take the kids as well. Yes. This is sound advice. eta: In the midst of everything else it might seem impossible, but I'd think about counseling for the kids. Depending on their ages, they might be more or less aware of what's happening, and reactions could come out in all sorts of ways. But mainly, make sure they're safe. Edited December 12, 2018 by Innisfree 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 I also think a good divorce attorney would be able to refer her to a good tax attorney. She likely needs professional help to deal with any potential issues involving taxes and penalties. What a terrible situation. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 She definitely needs a good attorney.....seems like I have heard of something like an ‘innocent spouse’ clause where the IRS won’t hold her responsible for taxes on money he stole from the family. Maybe someone knows the details of that. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Definitely find a tax attorney. Since he did the transfer of cash after they were in the process of legally divorcing and already had a court ruling on the family finances, chances are the lawyer can make an excellent case that she is not responsible for the taxes. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 ZOMBIE. Also, I think we found our runaway ex. 4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 I am so sorry to hear that this has happened. The $10,000 trigger is a reporting trigger for financial institutions (primarily to make sure taxes are paid by the recipient and to detect money laundering). It isn't any type of trigger for the financial institution to investigate to see if the person should or should not be withdrawing money. If the money was withdrawn from something like a retirement account, it depends upon state law of whether the spouse would have to sign off on the withdrawal. If the institution allowed withdrawal that should not have occurred without spousal permission there may be recourse there; a good lawyer in the state where it occurred would be able to navigate that. I agree with other that she needs to make sure that she has the children's passports, birth certificates, and other important documents secured. I would suggest that she makes sure she has as detailed of records of everything that she can. This would include all account names, account numbers, any past statements, and any username and passwords. If there are any accounts that are electronically accessed, she should go in and get copies of all of the past records she can. I would also suggest that she change any passwords, change any accounts she can out of his name, and cancel any credit cards that may be used; she needs to consult her attorney to see what she can legally do along those lines in her state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 nm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 9, 2021 Author Share Posted January 9, 2021 I had completely forgotten about posting this for someone else and when I got the notification just now I clicked on it. Even reading the post I didn't remember at first and I was like WTH? I almost asked dh who I knew who was getting divorced from someone in Jordan two years ago. 😆 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 10, 2021 Share Posted January 10, 2021 Great. Now I want an update. 😁 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellionne Posted February 22, 2021 Share Posted February 22, 2021 She should listen to her lawyer's advice. If the husband returns, he must face serious charges. He will have to pay a fine to the court, and will have to pay moral compensation for her. This is in case the husband returns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts