Gifts for kids with Autism

[Paige]

We have a family member who has had a very rough year with her DS and I want to find a special Christmas gift for him. He is a preteen with autism and is mostly nonverbal. He uses an ipad to communicate and has a therapy cat. He is a large child and his outbursts have become hard to handle now that he is older. I hesitate to call him violent, because that implies intent, but he can be aggressive. He has been diagnosed with migraines as well but I don't know much about it. Any ideas for something that's not too expensive but would make them smile? We live out of state and can't help in person. 

[Ottakee]

Swings of different types can be wonderful.  You can find some that hang inside as well.  Does he crave sensory stuff or try to avoid it?   Any special interests?

[PeterPan]

http://puzzlepiecesllc.com/index.php  This lady has awesome taste in stuff. Does he have any particular interests? Usually people on the spectrum have restricted or specialized interests, so if you chain from that or coordinate with that it can help. I'm sorry he's aggressive. We've btdt and ds is only 10, sigh. I've been warned puberty will step it up. In our case we found some genetic explanations, things that were treatable that are taking down the aggression. I'm sure she's doing everything she can find, but for real we got amazing information just with the cheapest 23andme test. If she hasn't run genetics, it might be the gift she didn't know she wanted. You download the raw data and run in through the KnowYourGenetics site for free and translate that into an action plan, boom.

For my ds, who is 10, ASD2, and challenging, I invest a lot in things we can do *together*. I buy a lot of games for two people, because it's usually just me and him playing. Right now he's learning card games like rummy, and I was shocked to realize how much he enjoys shuffling. So a box of 2 person games might be well-received. Like a regular card deck. I just ordered Canasta cards to teach him that.  Also Uno, if they don't have it, oh my Uno is HUGE here. He'll play heavier stuff, but really he needs games like that that are kind of calming, repetitive, restorative, not so engrossing. I just bought a really hip, nifty, probably pre-teen appropriate Incredibles Matching game. Yeah, like the $5 thing at Walmart. It's actually really hard! 

My ds likes all things nerf, so we're using cups now to create targets. It's really nice, because it's not shooting at someone and it's something you can do WITH someone, taking turns. But that would only be good if he's into nerf. 

There's a new Perplexus mini, actually two kinds. 

My ds enjoys things you wouldn't expect, like playdough, slime, etc., stuff you could make homemade. If you found small items of his special interest and hid them in playdough, he might like it. Just watch if he's gluten free. 

He might enjoy having his own cookbook. I'm using Cooking to Learn (ProEd Inc) with my ds. It's about $70, sigh, but it's REALLY nice and great for developing some independent living skills. As we make the recipes we put them into page protectors in a notebook to form a cookbook. 

Cooking to Learn 1: Integrated Reading and Writing Activities E-Book  This is what we're using.

                                 Visual Recipes: A Cookbook for Non-Readers                            I've seen this in person and it's VERY nice. It's a lower functional level, for someone who needs to see every step in color with simpler tasks, also very nice.

My ds really likes the sequin things that are out now. There are sequin small pillows, large pillows, animals, all kinds of stuff. There's a sequin lap blanket at Walmart and all that stuff is at walmart. He LOVES them. Puzzle Pieces is selling some smaller animals. I got my ds the hedgehog, which is bigger, in the $20 range. Small things are nice because they can go in a backpack and go somewhere (in the car, etc.). 

I agree with the swing, if they can find a way to mount it. I have a Skychair that my ds uses constantly, every single day. Unfortunately, it has wood poles, which aren't safe honestly. I think if you look at that Puzzle Pieces site or others you'll find swings that don't have anything removable that can turn into weapons. But she'll need help to mount it or a frame. 

Another direction might be gift cards for outings. Like theatre tickets, fast food, whatever he likes to do. That way anyone can take him out and she can have a break.

For her, fwiw, the technique I use to let go of the stress after challenging behavior is TRE. (trauma release exercises, tension release exercises)  I learned it through a counselor, and it has pretty much saved my butt. Challenging behaviors are very stressful and you need a way to let that go.

 

Edited December 10, 2018 by PeterPan

[NorthwestMom]

Not much to add after Peter Pan's list, but a weighted blanket might be enjoyable and relaxing. 

[Rosie_0801]

Does he have ear protection? 

I would also wonder how he'd find a copy of the book written by the non-verbal Japanese fella, but you might need to be a bit more closely related to give it to a kid. It's not exactly cheery. Perhaps it'd be good for his parents if they haven't seen it before.

[Tap]

I would ask if he has any special interests.  Several families I know who have kids with Autism, talk about them having unilateral interests.  A few I know have interests in Chickens, Christmas Sweaters (all year long), McDonalds plain hamburgers, etc.   So that if you bought the one who likes Christmas Sweaters any other piece of clothing, it would never get worn.But if you bought her a Christmas sweater, you would have made her day!  My own autistic daughter likes puzzles but she has a very low frustration point so they have to be heavy cardboard ones.  The cheaper puzzles shift and pieces fall apart, so that she will have massive fits over trying to put together a sweet gift, if someone bought her the wrong brand.  She also hates wooden puzzles. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Perhaps a mermaid pillow (that's the company name, the designs are varied for boys and girls) which has reversible sequins to rub and "draw" on.  I've been eyeing these for my autistic niece.    

 

[chiguirre]

I've always bought my sons stuff related to their current interest. This year, GW will be getting a plush Neptune because he's been collecting the whole solar system and that's what's next. Geezle will be getting a bunch of Disney Pixar Cars vehicles and some wiki stix and sharpies to add attachments and modify their paint jobs. These are the last toys he still uses. He makes videos with them as the characters. As you can see, good luck to someone sending a gift who doesn't know their current interests very well. Our distant relatives stick to gift cards or things like sweat shirts with team logos that everyone likes.

[Paige]

Thanks. You all have some great ideas. I don't know what his current interests are so I'll ask. His mom has pretty much quit sharing other than updates about visits to the hospital. 

[PeterPan]

13 minutes ago, Paige said:

Thanks. You all have some great ideas. I don't know what his current interests are so I'll ask. His mom has pretty much quit sharing other than updates about visits to the hospital. 

It's hard. She may not want him to have more in his area of interest, depending what the interest is. 

If he's in and out like that, you can't go wrong with soft fuzzy socks in a big enough size (they're hard to find!) and a stuffed animal. The Squishmallows are really nice. They're sort of heavy somehow and super soft, all at the same time, good for hugging but also good as pillows, anything. They may not allow them in the hospital, dunno.

You could see what restaurants are near the hospital and get her gift cards. Sometimes people don't splurge on themselves, so Panera is a treat. 

Honestly, I don't feel too bad if people don't get my ds gifts, because I know he's hard to buy for and hard to bond with. If you buy him something, he may or may not connect it and go oh I love you and thank you. He might if you're there a lot, but he might not. I don't feel bad if distant relatives don't. Even his grandparents who live farther away have NO CLUE what to do. I encourage them to get something they can do WITH him, like buy a book but come read it to him. Sounds like you're not close for that. 

I'm just saying release yourself of any guilt there. Taking care of the mom IS taking care of him. 

Edited December 10, 2018 by PeterPan