Jump to content

Menu

How does a young person go to college (in US) with no income and uncooperative parent(s)


Ginevra
 Share

Recommended Posts

4 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

I was in college from 1996 to 2000.  I know having my own child have me as an independent student at that time.  I remember being married as also being part of that but I cannot say for 100% sure.  

Hm could it be school dependent? They didn’t seem to care that we were married parents. Being 18/19 was all that mattered.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

7 hours ago, Quill said:

I think this varies by school. I remember someone on here getting mad with me once because I wasnt planning to apply for FAFSA, since I was not accepting loans at all. She said she still had to fill out FAFSA for her son to claim his MERIT scholarships. ??‍♀️

Yep, this is totally dependent on the school. My son has two academic scholarships plus an athletic scholarship, totaling more than $30K/yr, all granted by the school (no outside scholarships) and he did not have to file FAFSA. I'd seen so many people insist that all schools require it that I called the financial aid office just to be sure, and they confirmed that there was no point in filing it unless we thought he would qualify for a Pell Grant (which he wouldn't) or loans (which we didn't need or want). Definitely ask the school!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

27 minutes ago, Upennmama said:

The married thing must be new. When I attended college (2002-2005) I was told that my husband I I had to both submit FAFSAs with our parents information, though we were totally independent and had our own child. It was frustrating and humiliating!

Your college was wrong.

Dh and I married in 2001, I was still in school and submitted a FAFSA for that year without any parental info.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

another option my sons ended up using . . . . they did their first two years at the CC level.  we do have a good CC system here, and there are set asides at the university level for the instate transfer CC students.  the first two years are pretty much foundational anyway. it's $100 per credit as opposed to as much as $1000 (or more ), the classes are much smaller, and a number of the teachers have come from the working world (not straight to academia), retired and just want something to do.   

both will graduate in june, with no student debt.  fisa for those jr. and sr years - and scholarships.  opportunities come up once your there too.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I applied to only two colleges: my local state univ and an out-of-state private school. They were both safeties based on my stats and awarded merit aid without requiring fafsa info (which my mother refused to provide). I also took my ASVAB and spent some time talking with my army recruiter, because I needed a back-up plan and community college is a difficult alternative if you are a homeless teen. In hindsight, I'm kind of amazed that it didn't occur to me to talk to my hs counselor or to anyone at my relatively helpful church. I didn't know that hs counselors were supposed to be helping with college (inner city school where counselors were just trying to get kids graduated), and I would have been embarrassed for anyone at my middle-class church to know the details of the situation. I didn't want to expose my mom.

I was accepted to both schools and offered a merit scholarship to the out-of-state private. I saw it for the first time when I arrived with bags in hand to move into the dorms. The scholarships covered my tuition and fees, and I worked to cover my living expenses. I know I started fall of freshman year with some savings, and I initially took a job washing dishes in the dorm cafeteria because it was the only thing that worked around my class schedule. I turned 18 during the fall of freshman year, and I immediately applied for two credit cards. It's much easier to buy your own plane tickets with a credit card. I wasn't even thinking about establishing credit at the time, but it worked well.

I'm not sure how possible this would be today. Theoretically, a bright kid with good test scores could still go the scholarship route, but so many schools require the FAFSA now for merit scholarships. And living expenses have skyrocketed. I can't imagine many kids could afford their living expenses by washing dishes part-time. But I think it has become much easier for homeless kids to be declared independent, and it's easier to access information about the emancipation process and how to work through the financial aid appeal process (thank you, internet).

I knew a girl in a similar situation to mine who was able to get herself declared independent by the courts during her senior year of hs. She had a friend whose father was a police officer, and he helped her navigate the local courts to make it happen. She also had a very involved school counselor who helped her with all the financial aid aspects, and she was able to attend Pepperdine with full financial aid when she was still a 17-yr-old freshman. Ideally, all kids in these types of situations would have those kinds of supports. If the scores aren't there for scholarships, the military or working through community college are both backup options. But it can be done.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband recently read Educated for a book club he's in, and he raved about it. He's been trying to get me to read it, but I haven't found time.

Anyway, our discussions about the book led me to start digging around on the BYU admissions page out of curiosity. It turns out that BYU does not accept homeschool diplomas. I know that's something we usually rail about here on the homeschool boards, but I wonder if that was helpful to the young lady in the book. A neglected unschooled or nonschooled teen is going to have trouble producing a homeschool diploma. Their best bet is a university that doesn't even accept homeschool diplomas and relies completely on test scores.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, MinivanMom said:

My husband recently read Educated for a book club he's in, and he raved about it. He's been trying to get me to read it, but I haven't found time.

Anyway, our discussions about the book led me to start digging around on the BYU admissions page out of curiosity. It turns out that BYU does not accept homeschool diplomas. I know that's something we usually rail about here on the homeschool boards, but I wonder if that was helpful to the young lady in the book. A neglected unschooled or nonschooled teen is going to have trouble producing a homeschool diploma. Their best bet is a university that doesn't even accept homeschool diplomas and relies completely on test scores.

I didn’t love that book. My feelings about it are not easily summarized, though. 

As an aside, her story left me a lot more baffled about how she got into and through college than the Mexican immigrant, Reyna Grande. Westover’s education was so severely spotty and uneven and her parents were clearly mentally ill. 

Westover’s story was so disturbing. Grande’s had a lot of “OMG!” parts, but ultimately I felt she had truly overcome her past. Westover...I felt like I really wish she had waited ten years to publish her story. She still seems very damaged and in the grip of her past. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Upennmama said:

The married thing must be new. When I attended college (2002-2005) I was told that my husband I I had to both submit FAFSAs with our parents information, though we were totally independent and had our own child. It was frustrating and humiliating!

 

You were given incorrect information.  We married in 2002 and my husband was automatically considered an independent student.  Misinformation from college financial aid offices is (and long has been) a huge problem.  I’m sorry that happened to you!  

ETA-  I see this has already been addressed so forgive me for chiming in right when I saw your post and not reading to the bottom.  Crappy information from FA officers is something that gets me riled up.  ?

 

Edited by LucyStoner
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I worked briefly in financial aid.  It was the worst job I ever had.  Washing dishes at a restaurant at 14 was way better.  Here are some tidbits I learned on independent status.

As far as having a child, the parent had to prove that they were providing at least half of the support for that child to be considered an independent student.  That support could include child support or government aid, but it had to be more than what their own parents were providing in food, housing, etc...So, if a 20 year old with a child is still living at home with mom and dad paying all the bills, having a baby does not automatically make them independent. 

It is interesting that they did not use the same formula with marriage though.  Two 19 year olds married and living in their parents basement would be considered independent, even if the parents were providing food, utilities, phone payments, car insurance or whatever.  Which is kind of unfair really. It is just assumed if you are married you are out taking care of yourselves and getting married does give you an automatic independent status. This always seemed like a double standard to me. All you needed to provide was a marriage license if you were selected for verification.  

But single mothers under 24 listing themselves as independent were often flagged for verification to prove they were really independent.  And most of the time where I worked, these students ended up having to submit their parent's income because their parents were supporting both the student and the baby.  

Edited by CaliforniaDreamin
  • Thanks 1
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

59 minutes ago, MinivanMom said:

My husband recently read Educated for a book club he's in, and he raved about it. He's been trying to get me to read it, but I haven't found time.

Anyway, our discussions about the book led me to start digging around on the BYU admissions page out of curiosity. It turns out that BYU does not accept homeschool diplomas. I know that's something we usually rail about here on the homeschool boards, but I wonder if that was helpful to the young lady in the book. A neglected unschooled or nonschooled teen is going to have trouble producing a homeschool diploma. Their best bet is a university that doesn't even accept homeschool diplomas and relies completely on test scores.

I know a young woman who was home schooled all through high school and went to the Y.   I don't know the specifics - but she flourished.   Got her BA. Has a MA from U of Jerusalem.   deciding on her next move.   (byu offered her a job if she get's a doc.)

if you need specifics - you can PM me, and I can put you in touch.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, MinivanMom said:

 A neglected unschooled or nonschooled teen is going to have trouble producing a homeschool diploma.  

 

Well, they wouldn't have that much trouble. What you actually need to produce is a transcript, and that just requires some thinking and a printer. An unschooled or nonschooled teen who can get very high test scores and has church endorsements and recommendations can also create a transcript (and a truthful one, if perhaps unconventional). 

But where did you see that BYU doesn't accept homeschool transcripts? This is what I'm seeing on their homeschool page: If you will not graduate from high school or complete secondary school through home schooling as required by your state, you may be required to submit a GED or state recognized high school equivalency exam. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

my neice went straight to college with no parental help.  declared independent (or whatever) at 18, got aid based on no help from her parents - so their income was no included on her applications and it didn't count,  not sure how she did.

1ds is old enough he doens't have to give our income for him to receive aid.   interestingly - he received more in aid when he lived with 1dd.  (and she'd pay his gas bill! - which was higher then than it is now.) as far as they were concerned, he didn't live with his parents.   then he moved home and his aid dropped.

My oldest son did most of his college on his own. He went to community college for two years while living at home. Moved to a state with lower tuition and easier residency requirements for the rest. He worked 30-35 hours a week in a job that paid more than minimum wage. He also took out a $5000 loan junior year. 

I don't underestimate the help we did give him--living at home those first two years, car and health insurance, helped pay for books, and paid tuition one semester and helped with some living expenses when he wasn't able to work due to a medical condition. But he could have done this on his own. It would have taken him longer to get through. (The others are receiving more help now that I'm working full time.)

Edited by Pippen
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is clear that these es are not applied evenly and consistently at all schools and at all points in time.  For instance my sons girlfriend just got an exception made for her because of an uncooperative parent/s.  I am wondering now if they declared her homeless or estranged..

And as mentioned by someone up thread part of the problem is kids not wanting to expose their parents . Also I imagine a fair amount of kids give up after being told no a dozen times.  

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tulsa has a good cc program....if you graduated in Tulsa County you can go free I think.  Maybe it is needs based?  I don’t really know, we live outside the county, but I bet regardless they require the FAFSA. We filled it out in case there were scholarships but in the end it was a big waste of time for us.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My sister and I went to college without parents.  She had to get emancipated through the university in order to get enough financial aid.  I was already considered emancipated, because I had been in the military (even though I was 21).  We both worked all night, took out student loans and shared an apartment in a horrible, horrible neighborhood (as in, we were robbed multiple times/they smashed in my car windows several times/people would barge into our apartment looking for drugs).  

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Evanthe said:

My sister and I went to college without parents.  She had to get emancipated through the university in order to get enough financial aid.  I was already considered emancipated, because I had been in the military (even though I was 21).  We both worked all night, took out student loans and shared an apartment in a horrible, horrible neighborhood (as in, we were robbed multiple times/they smashed in my car windows several times/people would barge into our apartment looking for drugs).  

Good for you! That’s really impressive to me. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Pippen said:

My oldest son did most of his college on his own. He went to community college for two years while living at home. Moved to a state with lower tuition and easier residency requirements for the rest. He worked 30-35 hours a week in a job that paid more than minimum wage. He also took out a $5000 loan junior year. 

I don't underestimate the help we did give him--living at home those first two years, car and health insurance, helped pay for books, and paid tuition one semester and helped with some living expenses when he wasn't able to work due to a medical condition. But he could have done this on his own. It would have taken him longer to get through. (The others are receiving more help now that I'm working full time.)

yes - this is also one thing that is often overlooked.

dd is in texas (she's done) - and is acquaintances with a man who moved to texas for medical school - because it was cheaper for him as an out of state student than it was in his home state as an in-state student.

I was looking UT's rates for 1ds (aerospace - not many schools nationwide offer it.  texas has seven), and there were definitely some good values for university tuition and costs.  fortunately - he got into our local uni. (which has one of the better programs).

students should consider what they want to major in - then look around for schools with those majors.

Edited by gardenmom5
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

Well, yeah, but that would be pretty simple.  If the child qualifies as a dependent on your tax return, that would make you an independent student.  The standard of providing half the support would come from the tax return.  And the tax return has to be submitted anyway.  

My point is a lot of these single mothers are still dependents and not providing more than half the support for their children so they end up having to use their parents info on the FAFSA. A lot of them earn zero income if they have a child and their parents are supporting them while they go to school.  But no one makes young married couples prove they are not being supported by their parents.  Why does being married but living in your parents basement with them supporting you make you an independent adult, but a single mom in the same situation is not?   Just pointing out what seemed like a double standard to me.  

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of the things to consider is that merit scholarships as a percentage of tuition, room, and board are much smaller than they were 20 or 30 years ago. When I was in college, my tuition/room/board was in the vicinity of $8500.00 a year. My humanities scholarship was $1500.00, and my base music scholarship was $2500.00. My ACT score base scholarship was $2500.00. That's $6500.00 of a $8500.00 bill, and I was not by any means the high scoring scholarship recipient on campus. There were many that got closer to the whole thing, or a total full ride.

Let's take the Regional College NMU for instance here in Michigan for 2018/19. I know what there baseline scholarships are. The best you can get for tippy top scores at admission are $3500.00, on a $21,000 bill. About 30 students will get invited to a scholarship competition and will be awarded another $1000 or $2000 for participating, and tiny handful of those get more than that with somebody getting $8000.00. That's it. Now there are some small $500 here and there type departmental scholarships or very specific leadership type scholarships. Even getting two or three of those only nets roughly $1000-1500. The best of the scholarship winners get $13,000 on a $21,000 invoice. The gap is very large there compared to my gap.

And that has held true at both state and private universities in my state. Eldest ds had enough stacked scholarships to equal half, a full half, of the bill at Alma College. But it was a $42,000.00 bill. According to admissions only ten other students had more scholarships than he did. So where does the other $21,000 come from. For a student whose parents are low income, and that is generally meaning less than $55,000 a year annual household income. And if one does qualify for financial aid, ie grants so not loan money, the average award is $2000.00 and the max is not high. Federal student loans are considered "financial aid" because the program is subsidized by the tax payers. A large percentage of students will not be offered more. And of course without FAFSA, one doesn't get to take out Stafford Loans. Now the exception is that student who have been in foster care get A LOT of help, as well they should. However, the regular student does not. So the implication is parents will not only pay EFC (expected family contribution) which is what the federal government says you are able to pay, often a number that is PURE folly for a lot of families, and if they can't, they get loans or the student gets private students loans which do not have the good interest rate or terms of the federal loans, or they don't go to school, or they drop to part time and quickly find out that since tuition and fees have outpaced wages by 400+% in the last twenty years so oops, full time jobs don't even pay for college especially not for what is available to most 18 year olds.

Community college part time is often the answer for those determined to go. But for those of us in states that do not regulate CC's very well and do not have forced transfer agreements, this is really bad problem. Our cheapest CC's are cheap for a reason, kids flock to them, and then find out that after two years of nose to the grindstone, all they have amassed is 30-60 credits of electives with maybe one or two classes actually counting for gen-eds and counting towards graduation. I see it over, and over, and over again. Michigan needs to do better, and they need to get some control over CC's, and standardize the content and rigor so that they are equal to the university courses and transfer easily as real Gen Eds and even towards majors and minors. California seems to have a good handle on this. Many states don't and so these students spend their precious dollars saving money at the CC, and it sometimes ends in a devastating reality.

It is crazy out there. But the big point is that the pool of merit money is not as big as it used to be as a percentage of the final cost to attend, and it is shared among a much larger pool of applicants. So scholarships can be really piddly even for high scoring students. This of course doesn't address the issue of students who are really smart, studious, etc. but never get over their test taking nerves and can't get those high scores or struggle to get the speed they need to do it well in the time allotted. They end up really on the short end of the stick which is so sad because so many of them would be great students and someone should be generous enough to throw them a leg up, but that's not how the stupid admission game works, and it most certainly isn't how college financial aid works!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...