katilac Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 This is my life ? 2 1 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAJinBE Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 There were a ton the first few weeks with questions. Now they are tapering off and are mostly responses to our questions. Like Me: did you pay your rent for next month? DD: No I've only been here three weeks. Me: I think it's been longer than that, nevertheless it's the first of the month. DD: That doesn't seem right. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
easypeasy Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 (edited) Bahahahahaaa! YES!!!! ? Our longest phone calls are when she's tired and feeling easily-distracted. She'll call me while she's doing her homework and we'll "talk" for two hours or more. Most of the time, it's just her mumbling to herself, doing homework out loud - but then I'm there to keep her from opening distracting texts from friends with gossip or a cute kitten meme or something. lol And for the first several weeks this semester, she'd call while walking from one class to the next. In between chatting with friends she was passing by, she'd tell the the most mundane things about her day, then, "I'm at class! I'll call you in 50 minutes!" - and - she would! LOL In our case, it's good, though. DD talks to us more when she's doing well/happy at school, so the little chit-chats are a good sign that she's bopping along happily in her little world right now. ? Edited October 2, 2018 by easypeasy 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Sigh. I wish my boys would contact me more. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanDiegoMom Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 6 hours ago, easypeasy said: And for the first several weeks this semester, she'd call while walking from one class to the next. In between chatting with friends she was passing by, she'd tell the the most mundane things about her day, then, "I'm at class! I'll call you in 50 minutes!" - and - she would! LOL Yes to this! It's my daughter's second year and it's starting to taper off but I am definitely the walking to class buddy. And sure enough, 50 minutes later she calls me again! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted October 2, 2018 Author Share Posted October 2, 2018 5 hours ago, DawnM said: Sigh. I wish my boys would contact me more. When my kids do go on radio silence, we send cat pictures, lol. They never ignore the kitties. 2 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 5 hours ago, DawnM said: Sigh. I wish my boys would contact me more. My three are so different. One calls once a week but I think he feels obligated to. The other two we hear from pretty much every day either by phone, text, email, facebook messenger, snapchat, etc. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 1 hour ago, katilac said: When my kids do go on radio silence, we send cat pictures, lol. They never ignore the kitties. Oh goodness, if I sent cat pictures, they would wonder what is wrong with me. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 8 hours ago, DawnM said: Sigh. I wish my boys would contact me more. 52 minutes ago, DawnM said: Oh goodness, if I sent cat pictures, they would wonder what is wrong with me. It is a stereotype that is certainly true here - boys are pretty non-communicative. But, humor is fun with them over text and just about always receives a reply. I screenshot comics I find on google images and send all the time, BC, Snoopy, Far Side ... love them all. Although there'd be eye-rolling over cute animal photos, I send fun ones like our kitty doing her 'Alfred Hitchcock impersonation'. 3 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 My two boys are freshmen and so far we've been texting or talking every day, usually multiple times a day. I send them funny photos of our cats and dogs. One ds has two horses and I send him a photo every day so he can see how they're doing. Also, one of them is a car fanatic, so we're always sending photos back and forth of interesting cars that we see. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopmom Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 9 hours ago, DawnM said: Sigh. I wish my boys would contact me more. Me too, I’m getting very little. I had to specifically tell him he’s supposed to answer us when we text little questions or say what’s up. sigh. He’s coming home with weekend and I’m picking him up alone so hoping to get some real conversation in the car! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, Hilltopmom said: Me too, I’m getting very little. I had to specifically tell him he’s supposed to answer us when we text little questions or say what’s up. sigh. He’s coming home with weekend and I’m picking him up alone so hoping to get some real conversation in the car! Someone on the boards gave a good idea -- the 'POL' or proof-of-life text. Quite helpful, and sons learn to take the hint that it's been too long. I joke to boys, "Please answer when able, and you have three choices of text answer, 'OK', 'Thumb's Up', or 'You're the best mom ever!' " Now our eldest son, almost a graduate is at least 50% as communicative as our youngest child, a girl. This is a huge improvement, percentage-wise, and I am loving it. Hang in there! Edited October 2, 2018 by Familia grammar - which still may need assistance! 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Hilltopmom said: Me too, I’m getting very little. I had to specifically tell him he’s supposed to answer us when we text little questions or say what’s up. sigh. He’s coming home with weekend and I’m picking him up alone so hoping to get some real conversation in the car! My younger college boy is coming home next week for Fall Break. I am looking forward to it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 51 minutes ago, Familia said: Someone on the boards gave a good idea -- the 'POL' or proof-of-life text. Quite helpful, and sons learn to take the hint that it's been too long. I joke to boys, "Please answer when able, and you have three choices of text answer, 'OK', 'Thumb's Up', or 'You're the best mom ever!' With my brother, we kept it even simpler than that. "Are you dead?" So far that has always elicited a "No" within 24 hours. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 4 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said: With my brother, we kept it even simpler than that. "Are you dead?" So far that has always elicited a "No" within 24 hours. ? ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 7 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said: With my brother, we kept it even simpler than that. "Are you dead?" So far that has always elicited a "No" within 24 hours. ? I feel like if I did that next year, my eldest would not reply just to bug me. However, she assures me she would reply, "yes" instead. 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 With my oldest, he didn't really text much unless he needed something. I do wish I had not listened to my husband about "giving him space" and let him know that I would like to have had more contact. With K, due to the mental health issues that she had been dealing with, we had an agreement that she was supposed to check in with us every couple of days and skype once a week. She went no contact for 6 weeks and finally responded to the "Are you alive? If not, we are turning off the cell phone." That got a response. She was falling off the deep end. Dd has been gone 6 weeks and she snapchats regularly ... every day or couple of days. I send her videos of our dog and she sends me responses, or she just sends random pics of her walking to class or "hammocking" or something. We usually skype once a week. It would have been last night, but we had just come home from family weekend with her. I cherish these. I send snapchats of our dog to my oldest, who is in grad school, but he doesn't always reply. He did send me videos of his office and lab, including the specimen refrigerators that have pictures of John, Paul, George and Ringo on them. (Hint ... it is the entomology department.) We Skype every two weeks. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Both my college kids are boys. The oldest has always seemed to know how to contact us just enough to keep us from worrying. We never had to set up any ground rules for minimum communication or anything. But second ds is a freshman and he is much farther from home and he is not great at communicating. Starting to think we might need to establish a weekly phone call. We are trying to give him his space because this kid takes checking in as a sign we don't believe he can handle himself. So letting him have his space is actually how we show we believe in him. And this kid is private and even texts or phone calls likely won't reveal any info he hadn't carefully planned to share. He seems to be doing well and he does text us- it is just always on his terms. He doesn't necessarily answer my texts unless they say "answer this text" in all caps. I don't like it but he hasn't given us any reason to believe we need to be worrying or that he needs anything. He is coming home for a long weekend in November and we'll discuss this more then. A couple weekends ago I hadn't heard from either of them in awhile so I sent a group text to both of them. Something to the effect of "anxious mom text...need to get some word or emoji letting my know you are both A-OK". I immediately got two thumbs up emojis and nothing more. Sigh. I do also send "are you alive?' texts. I will say that having the two away has increased my anxiety quite a bit. The second ds ,who is not a big communicator, is also the one I tend to worry about the most and the one who went far away. But my worrying about him somehow has me worrying more about the oldest, too. So I am still adjusting to having two kids away. It is different than just having the oldest gone. I do keep reaching out to them. I send them encouraging words or a funny picture or a job listing I think they would be interested in. Sometimes I get a response, sometimes not. But I do think they both know 100% we are supportive of them and here if they need us. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Texting our more talkative dc is often our best means of making sure the quiet one is ok; the talker sends the other a snap chat or Instagram to say "call Mom," and the quiet dc calls that day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
easypeasy Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 11 hours ago, DawnM said: Oh goodness, if I sent cat pictures, they would wonder what is wrong with me. A little worry is good for them... ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
easypeasy Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 19 hours ago, DawnM said: Sigh. I wish my boys would contact me more. When it's my son at college, I'll definitely be sending the "Are you alive?" texts? Anytime that kid is at a friend's house or at a camp or something... it's just radio silence. When you scroll through our texts on my phone, it's just a long line of blue bubbles to the right with no replies. DH has talked with him, trying to communicate the importance of just sending a quick "g'night" or "love you" or "all's well" text... and he'll remember for the first day or so, then.... nothing. Over the summer, he was away for 2 weeks and I hadn't heard from him for nearly a week and was getting perturbed about it. DD was tired of hearing me rant about it at home, so she spammed ds's phone until he replied and then she texted "TEXT YOUR MOTHER OMGOSH SHE IS DYING OVER HERE!!" I didn't know she'd done that, so I got his text and we chatted for about 10 minutes before he had to go and I was soooo happy!! lol Then, found out dd had had to bug him about it and was a little less so.... ? He's an "in the moment" personality, and when I'm outta sight, I'm outta mind. So when he goes to college, I'm gonna send him a lifesize cardboard cutout of me for his room and embroidered kitchen towels and pillow cases that say "Call your mom!" Not creepy at all!! ? ? 1 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 5 hours ago, easypeasy said: A little worry is good for them... ? Oh, I didn't say they would worry! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 We went to visit oldest last weekend. And middle is coming home for a week. Yesterday oldest called me because he wanted something. I called middle to see when we should pick him up and to talk about what to get my DH for his birthday this weekend. So, at least I do know they are alive (or were as of yesterday afternoon.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 12 hours ago, WendyAndMilo said: When I'm in class, I almost always have my computer open so if I don't answer a text/chat immediately, DS spams me with a dozen messages like "Hello?!"..."Duuuude" ..... "Mother of the year, where are you?" .... "hhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo".... and so on. I tell him to just wait until he's the one in college. ? Ds and I are in a group text with some mutual friends and someone posts something every few days at least. My mom calls me and tells me what he's doing. I even posted something on facebook recently and one of my former professors made a comment about a presentation my ds well on at school. I had no idea ds was giving a presentation. But he seldom directly texts me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Well the ds I mentioned upthread who doesn’t communicate much FaceTimed his 15 yo brother last night so we all got to see him ? My younger ds does communicate with him more than we do. Sometimes I’ll say that no one has heard from him and 15yo will mentioned he texted with him just a bit ago. So the 15 yo ds who lives in my house could work on communicating with his parents too. I’m really okay if I know someone is in communication with him. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 This thread has me remembering a joke DS shared with me: Mom says: What does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Teen says: I don't know, love you, talk to you later. Mom says: Okay, I'll go ask your sister. 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopmom Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 I got an unsolicited text from him last night: ”Fafsa open for next yr now” So... at least he’s paying attention to something! (as an aside... doesn’t it seem like we just did fafsa?!?!) 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivey Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 My oldest son and I chat on the phone for about an hour every day while he drives home and cooks dinner. I know I'm just keeping him entertained, but it's one of the best parts of my day. And my kids who still live at home are relieved to be left alone for that hour. ? 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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