ScoutTN Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 (((Xuzi))) Praying for you and your boy today. For peace, excellent care, wisdom, and health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 I can only imagine the jumble of emotions you feel right now. But, mama, let me assure you, this is NOT your fault. I'm sure you may feel some guilt over all this, wondering what you could have done differently. Odds are, no matter what you would have done, what choices you made, you would still be here at this moment. You are amazing and obviously love your child because you took action to get him help! Most people, except some other mamas, will never know the heart-wrenching, brain and soul-wearying emotions that we mamas go through. It's as if the choices our children make have a direct impact on our very DNA. It's HARD being mom. But know this, you are not alone in your grief over this. Through reading some of the comments, I see that some others have been down the same road. While I'm sure you would not wish this on anyway, receive what those with experience have to say. And most definitely, take care of YOU. I pray you have a good friend nearby who can help you do that. We're all praying for you! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 I hope everyone is OK. I'm sending hugs and strength. :'-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 I hope you all got some rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 Sending prayers to you and to him. I hope you got some rest. I am so thankful for his friend. His counselor at school and for you for listening and taking him in. Just lots of prayers and good thoughts for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 Sending hugs to you. It must have been unimaginably hard, but you did the right thing, and hopefully as I type this, your son is already starting to get the help he needs. I wish your dh was home to help support you and your other kids through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted September 28, 2018 Author Share Posted September 28, 2018 No news on a placement yet. Last check he was still sleeping. I'm reaching out to friends and family for what support they might offer. I might have somewhere to send the younger siblings for the weekend. But FYI: if someone in my position reaches out to you, keep your psych ward horror stories to yourself. 7 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 1 minute ago, Xuzi said: No news on a placement yet. Last check he was still sleeping. I'm reaching out to friends and family for what support they might offer. I might have somewhere to send the younger siblings for the weekend. But FYI: if someone in my position reaches out to you, keep your psych ward horror stories to yourself. Many (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I firmly believe you’ve done the right thing. Prayers for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 28 minutes ago, Xuzi said: No news on a placement yet. Last check he was still sleeping. I'm reaching out to friends and family for what support they might offer. I might have somewhere to send the younger siblings for the weekend. But FYI: if someone in my position reaches out to you, keep your psych ward horror stories to yourself. Awww. I am sorry. For what its worth I have had loved ones in the psych ward many times and no horror stories. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 Xuzi, all my psych ward stories are good because they brought another day, and connected families to information, help, and/or rest. I've been praying for you since yesterday. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 (edited) Hugs to you all. I hope the admission is helpful for your child and your family. Edited September 29, 2018 by displace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 Sending hugs and support. I hope you managed to sleep last night. Please do take care of yourself, too, while your DC is in good hands. It’s hard, but so important. I’ve been where you are now. ((Hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted September 28, 2018 Author Share Posted September 28, 2018 It's been hard to take care of myself, when I have my own depression I'm dealing with. I started seeing a therapist myself this week, and it was kind of frustrating that yesterday's appointment ended up focusing on my son's situation and her reassuring me about the help he'd likely get at the hospital. She probably thought that was what I needed, but I didn't get to talk about my own struggles at all. My world feels like it's disintegrating, but I have to keep taping myself together to be there for my kid. My husband is home in a couple of hours, then we'll probably be going to the hospital for a visit. Still no open psych ward beds. I've been able to talk to him on the phone. He's bored and worried about a math assignment he had due today. He could submit it from his school iPad, but it's locked up in another room because of HIPPA concerns. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 Xuzi, hopefully with your therapist you will be able to do more than tape yourself together. So much of how a therapist can help us is in helping us to find coping skill for the difficult things that happen. Increased coping skills helps us generally lower anxiety and treat our depression. She can hopefully help you to deal with cognitive distortions like feeling like your world is disintegrating (which you even felt before, right?) The skills and insight you may learn in dealing with this can be transferred to all areas of your life. So much of how you will deal with this has to do with how you deal with everything. This is so hard. I know. Do you know what is good though? Your dc told you about his feelings. Your dc accepted hospitalization--that shows he knows he needs help. Not all teens would be willing in this situation. You also have a therapist and friends who will take your younger kids if you need that. You are a good mom who is trying to help herself and her child even when she isn't doing great herself. It is good that you recognize that your mental health is as important as your child. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 You might want to ask your younger kids if they want to see a therapist or talk to a professional. I wish we had done that when we were dealing a similar situation. In the meantime, more hugs and more healing thoughts headed your way. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I hope you got some rest. So hard. We have been through this several times. Hugs mama. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 He's home. They weren't going to be able to find a bed over the weekend, and his behavior yesterday reassured the doctors that, while he had had a plan, he wasn't yet determined to die. During the day he kept fretting about not having access to his school iPad so he could submit a math assignment that was due, read the book they're reading in his English class so that he could keep up, and he used his phone access to call friends. With all of that, they believe an intensive out-patient program would suffice. All cutting implements and medicine are in a locked box now, and I've checked on him in his bed tonight as often as I did back when he was a new baby. Now we try and move forward. (And can I add how boring ER psych rooms are? We joked that if you weren't already a bit nuts when you checked in, a couple of days in a room like that would do it.) 30 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I’m glad he’s back home. I hope you’re able to find rest and the outpatient is just what he needs. I hope you also get what you need too. One day at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 23 hours ago, Scarlett said: Awww. I am sorry. For what its worth I have had loved ones in the psych ward many times and no horror stories. I have had one familiy member treated on a psych floor and the care was excellent! Empowering that person to be a balanced, healthy and happy person again. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I've just seen this thread today. So glad he's home and there is a plan for moving forward. You, your son and your family will all be in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Glad he's back home. I hope you have a peaceful weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted October 2, 2018 Author Share Posted October 2, 2018 Well, f**k. Out-patient care we can *just* about afford - 8 month waiting list. Out-patient care with a current opening for a new patient - $500/week for 6 months. ? DH is going to talk to his HR department to see if the is *any way* to get mental health coverage onto our plan. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 I am sorry. It is so wrong that mental health coverage is not required. 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 (edited) I really thought mental health was required to be covered in the US under ACA regulations. (Until now anyway, I read that this week actually certain states will start allowing plans that don't cover mental health or maternity.) Am I wrong on this? Editing to update based on research: ☹️ The parity law does not require insurers to provide mental health benefits — rather, the law states that if mental health benefits are offered, they can’t have more restrictive requirements than those that apply to physical health benefits. Fortunately, the vast majority of large group plans already provided mental health benefits before the parity law took effect. In addition, the Affordable Care Act requires that plans offered through the health insurance exchanges cover services for mental health and substance-use disorders. Edited October 2, 2018 by goldberry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted October 2, 2018 Author Share Posted October 2, 2018 Our plan isn't through the exchange. When I called our provider, even the customer service rep was surprised, because so few of the plans they offer don't cover mental health. It's ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Have you considered looking for employment with mental health insurance coverage? I would seriously consider that option if I was faced with $500/week medical bills, especially since I would want services ASAP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 On 9/28/2018 at 12:19 PM, Xuzi said: No news on a placement yet. Last check he was still sleeping. I'm reaching out to friends and family for what support they might offer. I might have somewhere to send the younger siblings for the weekend. But FYI: if someone in my position reaches out to you, keep your psych ward horror stories to yourself. My DS18 has been admitted multiple times, sometimes for as long as 3 months. We've never had a bad experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Does the hospital offer some sort of discount for self-pay? Go talk to the financial office in person. When I had an emergency c-section and no maternity coverage, the price for self pay was cheaper than what my insurance coverage (if I actually had it), would have been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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