Taking a suicidal teen to the ER for mental evaluation. Help?!

[Xuzi]

In therapy this morning my child admitted to having had a deadline set for when he wanted to die, but a close friend talked him out of it. The school counselor also called the other day to report an increase in the frequency of his panic attacks, and signs of cutting and other self harm.

Child insisted on still going to school today, but we'll be going to the hospital afterward. What am I to expect? What should I watch for? How do I avoid being brushed off? Our insurance doesn't cover mental health. What might this potentially cost?

I'm scared.

[ScoutTN]

No answers, but hoping you get great care for your son, asap.  

Figure out money later! 

 

[Selkie]

Hugs to you. I don't know the answers to your questions, but I am so sorry you and your child are going through this.

[jewellsmommy]

I'm so sorry! Does the therapist have any recommendations? In my experience with mental health crisis (not suicide but still serious), the closest children's hospital to us took it very seriously. They handled it well, I felt. The child in question was held for 10 days **** for evaluation after being transferred to a an appropriate facility. Just give them all the info you can.

My prayers will be with you and your child.

ETA: A better way to put this would be: held 10 for stabilization and further evaluation for treatment options. This is after the initial eval. that occurs to determine if treatment is needed. That initial process took 48 hours.

Edited September 27, 2018 by jewellsmommy

[Liz CA]

6 minutes ago, ScoutTN said:

No answers, but hoping you get great care for your son, asap.  

Figure out money later! 

 

 

Yes, care first. Procedures are somewhat different from state to state. S/He should get a psych eval. In my state there is a certain code for minors to be held in psychiatric evaluation for 72 hours. 

This all sounds very dire when I am typing this out but it is designed to evaluate and observe and determine future treatment.

As far as payment, I agree with with Scout, treatment first; you can ask social workers or patient advocates for info on payment / coverage options. There may be a state funded plan for emergencies.

Edited September 27, 2018 by Liz CA

[Xuzi]

5 minutes ago, jewellsmommy said:

I'm so sorry! Does the therapist have any recommendations? In my experience with mental health crisis (not suicide but still serious), the closest children's hospital to us took it very seriously. They handled it well, I felt. The child in question was held for 10 days for evaluation after being transferred to a an appropriate facility. Just give them all the info you can.

My prayers will be with you and your child.

The hospital we'll be going to is one recommended by the therapist, because she helped shape their youth mental health program and trusts the people there.

10 days?? My kid will go nuts if they're in there for that long. Do will I! So they allow parents to have any say in how long the child is kept?

Edited September 27, 2018 by Xuzi

[jewellsmommy]

15 minutes ago, Xuzi said:

The hospital we'll be going to is one recommended by the therapist, because she helped shape their youth mental health program and trusts the people there.

10 days?? My kid will go nuts if they're in there for that long. So will I! So they allow parents to have any say in how long the child is kept?

This boy was held this long because it took that long to stabilize him. He was violent and an active danger in our home. I would not expect the same amt. of time automatically. There is a lot to look at. If they feel meds are needed, they might give it a few days, but please don't think that 10 is an automatic thing! The docs will recommend what seems best for your child and then you will be able to share your concerns about length of stay etc. They will communicate with you on all that.

ETA: You can refuse, but please hear them out and think hard before making any choice. Allow time for it all settle in. It can be easy to get overwhelmed emotionally and then be tempted to act on those emotions. Been there done that! It is a good thing to know that the therapist thinks well of where you will be going!

ETA2: I edited the first post to be more clear. It was not my intention to freak you out further! 

Edited September 27, 2018 by jewellsmommy

[Tap]

If your in the USA.....Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline to see if they can offer any advice.

1800-273-8255

If your not in the USA, Google to see if you have any similar phone services in your area.  ((((((HUGS)))))

I would also call the different hospitals in your area and find out what information you can get about how they handle this situation.  Different hospitals may have different protocols. This also may give you a chance to pre-register to see if you can make you wait time less when you are there.

[lmrich]

I am so sorry. This is so, so, so hard. 

Can the therapist meet you in the ER? Will your child check in voluntarily? 

Pack an overnight bag  for you and three nights of clothes for him. I don't know if you will be allowed to stay, but it is nice to have your things. Download a movie you can both watch while waiting or bring a game to help pass the time. I freeze in hospitals so you might want to grab a pair of socks and a sweater. Try to drink lots of water now and take your vitamins. The next few days are going to be difficult, so you must take care of yourself. Please know that I am thinking of you and wishing you the best outcome. 

[historically accurate]

I think this information should stay here for future referrals, but I am editing to take out personal aspects for privacy:

 

The local ER will most likely have a psych ER (where everything is attached to the wall). You will be escorted there quickly after letting the front desk know. The team will come in and talk to teen and you - depending on age/family dynamics/etc they may question you separately or together. They will ask if there is a plan/time/etc. They will take blood and a urine sample. All their clothes will be taken and they'll be given a gown. Child may or may not be admitted depending on how severe the psych teams believe child is and the family situation and the whole timeline/plan/etc.. You may be specifically asked if the child feels able to keep him/herself safe and if you feel you personally can keep the child safe; if you say that you are at the end of the rope and you feel that suicide is a real possibility and they concur, the child will be admitted. Just be really honest with them and they will do everything they can to help.

Hospitalizations range from 4-7 days on average. Partial hospitalization (there from 8am - 4pm and then home for dinner/night) for 5-10 days. IME, parents don't get a whole lot of say in how long child is hospitalized. Any medicine starts or changes required 48 hours after the medicine began. Often hospitals have  a "successful" family counseling session or two required before release, but I don't know how successful, successful means since some of the families are very dysfunctional. If the hospital is horrible, be advised you cannot just check them out; I believe there is a 48 hour minimum if you want to check out AMA. It sounds like you have a good hospital option thankfully.

If you think s/he will be admitted, you can bring a bag of 3ish days of clothes (nothing with drawstrings). Write name on tags. Kids/adolescents can usually have 1 or 2 comfort items: pictures of family, stuffed animal, blanket, own pillow. Usually no pens (IE: so no journals with pen attached). No electronics allowed. It is better to take out any piercings, remove any jewelry before going. 

For the ER: magazines, super-easy Sudokus, deck of cards, movie on phone or tablet. Psych Emergency Rooms have the TV locked up, so you can use it, but you can't change the station - you have to ask the nurse every time. Kleenex if you think you will cry. Jacket is also handy; ER's are cold. 

Edited September 28, 2018 by beckyjo

[gardenmom5]

does he know you plan on taking him to the ER after school?  I would be concerned upon why he was so insistent on going to school if he knew, and afraid he might do something.  But I'm paranoid that way.  (my father od'd.)

 

[Pen]

22 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

does he know you plan on taking him to the ER after school?  I would be concerned upon why he was so insistent on going to school if he knew, and afraid he might do something.  But I'm paranoid that way.  (my father od'd.)

 

 

I was thinking something like this too. I think as soon as I got some clothes and snacks for sitting and waiting I would go over to the school and pick him up early and go to ER.  Not wait for him to do a possible after school runner or something else. 

[Pen]

For that matter I think I would rather get a potentially suicidal teen into hospital, and then go pack whatever he will need. Rather than wonder what he is doing while I was packing. 

[Pen]

I think I would put in a call to ER now to ask questions, and also to school psychologist to alert them to situation. 

[Xuzi]

I called the school, and he's made it to all of his classes so far. There's only one way in and one way out, and I'll be parked at that one exit before the final bell rings.

Edited September 27, 2018 by Xuzi

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, Xuzi said:

I called the school, and he's made it to all of his classes so far. There's only one way in and one way out, and I'll be parked at that one exit before the final bell rings.

I am sorry.  I know you must be scared.  (((hugs)))

[maize]

I don't really have any wisdom to offer, just prayers and virtual hugs. The road ahead is likely to be long and hard.

I find it horrifying that health insurance plans are not required to cover mental health care.

[maize]

I do have what may seem like a bit of an odd book recommendation, should you find yourself with time and desire to read at some point. The book is "Brave Girl Eating" and was written by the mother of a daughter with anorexia. It is of course not a how to book on coping with mental illness but when I read it I was struck by the descriptions of what life is like when trying to support and help a family member who is frequently irrational--who seems to be sometimes themself and sometimes some other being entirely. It's a reality I have lived with for years and have found very difficult to explain to those who have not experienced it. I also appreciated the family centered care model described in the book, a rarity in the world of mental health.

[Catwoman]

Xuzi, I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but all I can do is keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers, and to send as many positive, healing thoughts as I can. I wish I could do more. I can’t even imagine how scared you must be, but I admire you so much for taking quick action to try to help your son. 

[displace]

Hugs.  Some hospitals have psych floors and some don’t.  If the hospital you’re going to has one because the therapist recommended it, that’s good.  If there are no beds but they need to be admitted, they will either sit in the ER the whole time or they will get transferred to another hospital with a bed.  If the docs feel your child is a threat to him/herself, they will not release him/her for 72 hours.  You should ask to speak to a hospital worker regarding insurance.  They will help do anything to see what assistance you may qualify for.  

[freesia]

I am so sorry Xuzi.  I know you've been going through a hard time yourself.  If you haven't already left, please do something to take care of yourself while you wait and try not to perseverate on the situation.   I know it's terrifying and the calmer you can become, the better you will be able to cope.  We are rooting for you and your child and your whole family.

[TravelingChris]

This is for both OP and others reading: if child or adult will be admitted, it is best to be admitted voluntarily, not through involuntary admission.  You can say you are going involuntarily at the ER no matter how you got there- including if ambulance or police take you there.  That will be a decision made after initial doctor examination.  Voluntary admission lets you keep a lot of civil rights that are lost in involuntary.

[Rachel]

((((Xuci)))))

I’m sorry!

[Junie]

Praying for you and your dc.

[Pink and Green Mom]

I am so, so sorry that you and your son are going through this.  

[Annie G]

I’m sorry. I hope things go smoothly today and you find the help your dc needs.  (Hugs)

[Lady Florida.]

I have no advice but just wanted to offer hugs. You're probably gone but you're still in my thoughts. (((((Hugs)))))

 

10 hours ago, ScoutTN said:

 

Figure out money later! 

 

This makes me so angry and also makes me want to cry. No mother (no one really) should have to consider the cost of getting help for their child. This goes for any kind of medical help but with mental health it can be terrifying. I hate that this has to be a consideration in this supposedly richest and best of countries. We have to do better. For Xuzi's child. For all of our children.

Edited September 28, 2018 by Lady Florida.

[happi duck]

Many (hugs)  Thinking of you ❤

[Kim in Appalachia]

((((((hugs))))))

 

A few thoughts:

The hospital should have a social worker/ case manager that you talk to about insurance/financial issues.  Make sure you get with that person and find out what options you have. 

You will not be able to stay.  Let the hospital help you figure this out.  Make sure you are kept in the loop and that they run everything by you.

Talk to the therapist to figure out what happens after your child is released. 

 

I'm so sorry.  I hope you son makes some headway at the hospital.  

 

[Targhee]

A prayer for you, your son, and the providers! And just ((((hugs)))) because I can just imagine who emotionally fraught the whole thing is and you need to know you are a good mama for taking this hard step!!

[DawnM]

I have sent 2 to the hospital this year already.   As a school counselor, I always offer to call ahead.  The in-treatment facilities tend to take it more seriously if we call ahead, and sometimes we can offer information that the parent might not remember in the emotions of it all.  Both were admitted for several days.

I am sorry you are dealing with this.

[hippiemamato3]

2 hours ago, Kim in Appalachia said:

((((((hugs))))))

 

A few thoughts:

The hospital should have a social worker/ case manager that you talk to about insurance/financial issues.  Make sure you get with that person and find out what options you have. 

You will not be able to stay.  Let the hospital help you figure this out.  Make sure you are kept in the loop and that they run everything by you.

Talk to the therapist to figure out what happens after your child is released. 

 

I'm so sorry.  I hope you son makes some headway at the hospital.  

 

Our ER required a parent to stay with a minor waiting for psychiatric assessment/placement.

[Pen]

How is it going?

[BeachGal]

I am so sorry. Many hugs to you and your son during this difficult time.

Depression and suicidal thoughts can be made worse by inflammation. You might want to request a high sensitive c reactive protein test. Charles Raison has studied how hsCRP can help to determine which treatments will help. This is fairly new research but important in determining what to do.

[mominco]

(((hugs)))

[Xuzi]

He's been admitted. Now I guess I try to sleep?

[Forget-Me-Not]

Just now, Xuzi said:

He's been admitted. Now I guess I try to sleep?

(((Hugs))). Yes. It’s ok to take care of you ?

[Junie]

(((Xuzi)))

[happi duck]

6 minutes ago, Xuzi said:

He's been admitted. Now I guess I try to sleep?

Many (hugs)

[PrincessMommy]

19 minutes ago, Xuzi said:

He's been admitted. Now I guess I try to sleep?

I'm just seeing this.  You must be so concerned.  So glad he's in a safe place.   lots of hugs

[gardenmom5]

hugs and prayers.

[maize]

21 minutes ago, Xuzi said:

He's been admitted. Now I guess I try to sleep?

Yes. Sleep if you can. Take a sleep aid if you can't (benadryl works for me) because this is a marathon you are running and you need to do whatever you can to take care of yourself.

How is the rest of your family?

[Xuzi]

Husband is away on a business trip. Siblings were in bed by the time I got home, so they don't know yet. They just knew I was taking him to the doctor. He didn't want a big deal made of it if they ended up not admitting him.

[kiwik]

Sleep while someone else is watching for you.

[maize]

37 minutes ago, Xuzi said:

Husband is away on a business trip. Siblings were in bed by the time I got home, so they don't know yet. They just knew I was taking him to the doctor. He didn't want a big deal made of it if they ended up not admitting him.

That is hard for it all to be on your shoulders.

[Tap]

3 hours ago, Xuzi said:

He's been admitted. Now I guess I try to sleep?

(((((hugs))))))) with prayers and positive thoughts for wisdom in those treating him and hope that this leads to a time of rest for his body and mind.  I hope you are able to rest yourself tonight and know he is safe and in caring hands.  

[lmrich]

So wishing I could give you a hug in real life and bring you a cup of tea. Rest. Eat healthy food (eat some comfort, too), and maybe go for a walk. Take care of yourself. 

[Jen500]

Sending virtual hugs to you. Life is so hard sometimes.

[TravelingChris]

I know you are so worried but please take care of yourself and your family with destressing activities for you and for them.  Our family went into a spiral of trouble after the stress of another's hospitilizations.  Hugs and more hugs. 

[Lady Florida.]

9 hours ago, Xuzi said:

He's been admitted. Now I guess I try to sleep?

 

9 hours ago, Xuzi said:

Husband is away on a business trip. Siblings were in bed by the time I got home, so they don't know yet. They just knew I was taking him to the doctor. He didn't want a big deal made of it if they ended up not admitting him.

I'm just seeing these this morning. I hope you were able to get some sleep. (((hugs)))