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Has your 2E kid become more asynchronous?


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Please don't quote as I will come edit out later.....

I'm posting over here rather than on the Learning Challenges board to try to get more of the parents of 2E kids to chime in.  I know not all of us hang out there consistently. I have two 2E kids.  We haven't chatted about 2E-ness for a while, and I'm desperately needing some more guidance. One of my 2E kids has held pretty steady through homeschooling. He should get into a college of his choosing and have fairly smooth sailing into adulthood. This is my 12th(?) year of homeschooling and I feel like I'm once again lost at sea and trying to find my bearings. 

My other 2E kid has become more asynchronous with time.  We just got the results of his latest testing and he's solidly 3 staines above the bell curve in his areas of strength, and solidly 3 stanines below the bell curve in areas of his challenges. He's just kind of a spiky hot mess--all or nothing-- >99% or <1% --kind of kid.  It shows....in a really glaring way now that his age peers have hit puberty and are doing some higher level writing and math. He is going to brick and mortar school for the first time this year, with an IEP, for non-core subjects. He's got some life skills he needs to work on (executive functioning, etc.) and he needed some outside accountability.  He also needs a solid paper trail as he may do a 5 year high school plan or some other non-traditional high school experience. That said, he's also an exceptionally bright kid, and within the first few minutes of a conversation with him, that also really shows. I suspect he will have a happy life working as a research scientist using voice dictation software, or in IT, or in some other professional capacity if he can survive schooling.

Here's my question: what has homeschooling your 2E kid looked like over time? How did you handle things when you got to higher level learning (when stuff counted for transcripts)? What tools and materials did you use to remediate/accommodate weaknesses? What did you do to engage their strengths and really feed their passions?  If your student(s) are highly asynchronous, what did that look like? How do they choose to present themselves? Do they hide their weaknesses? Focus on strengths? Do they feel self-conscious about their asynchronicity? Did you find homeschooling your child stressful and how did you cope with that? How did you balance parenting a kid who needs a ton of time and energy with the needs of other siblings? Do you have other exceptionalities in the household mix? What advice would you give to another parent about homeschooling or parenting 2E kids?

Thanks!

 

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Yes, my asynchronous kid has gotten more asynchronous academically. I thought (due to early IQ scores) that I had a moderately gifted kid even though he seemed extraordinarily gifted when he was little. Ha! He's profoundly gifted AND profoundly lopsided (though even his areas of weakness are WELL into the gifted range, his highest areas hit the ceiling of the test). 

I am still figuring out some of the high school subjects--several will be bare bones. Some will be out of typical order (he wants to do economics this year as a 9th grader). In fact, if we could just do documentaries for some history and study more of the social sciences, he'd probably be much happier. He is interested in history, but not in trying to answer questions about it. It's a struggle. Composition...sigh (though he can write some extremely elegant sentences!). Language is so, so hard for him. He had a high school level reading score in 3rd grade, but high school level reading in anything except maybe science is very difficult due to issues with narrative language, being too literal (something that's only becoming obvious--he's just literal in a different way than, say, Amelia Bedelia), not being able to extract main ideas (isn't it all important?!).

Emotionally and in life skills, he's more integrated, and sometimes he blows my mind. In many ways, he's more mature than kids his age, but in other ways he's more "simple"--I mean that in the most benign way. He's just not a complicated person with regard to likes and dislikes, needs, etc. He loves people and wants to be helpful. His work ethic beats a lot of adults I know, and his expertise in practical life skills is excellent (with a few eclectic holes). 

Intervention for my older kiddo has been less easily defined and targeted--he has very odd presentations of his issues.

My other kiddo is physically more asynchronous due to coordination issues (and he has medical issues in addition to being 2e related to learning issues). He's actually becoming less asynchronous, I think, but his areas of struggle are becoming more solidly identified over time. However, he had earlier and more precise intervention than my other son did for his issues--for instance, he's getting very targeted therapy for his coordination issues and for his auditory processing.

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My 2E dyslexic got less asynchronous over time and ended up being advanced in all areas. As an adult his only decitis are slow reading speed and horrific spelling.

Our gifted Aspie who has low processing speeds and poor executive functions definitely appeared more dysfunctional the older he got.  The things that just seemed quirky when he was younger got more and more noticeably abnormal. At 26, he struggles bc adulthood has so many balls to juggle simultaneously and he can't manage them all at the same time. He is acutely aware of his deficiencies and he struggles with that as well.

Edited by 8FillTheHeart
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Mine are on the young side. Oldest is in 8th...so I'm reading this for thoughts on the future. I have 3 2e kids for sure and my littlest presents an awful lot like my 3rd kid...so no testing yet, but probably 2e as well. The only contribution I feel safe to make with my kids ages is, my oldest has always seemed less 2e and more just plain gifted until recently. At around 12 the executive function and difficulty with social rigidity and understanding is really showing. She had lots of sensory stuff as a youngster, but most of it had improved, not gone away..but she has better coping skills. I was lulled into thinking that maybe she was just gifted...that prior information was wrong. It wasn't, it just took longer to really present obvious obsticals.

Edited by bluemongoose
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I think it's hard to be realistic (vs idealistic) and hard to get enough testing to identify the real underlying cause if the disability. As kbutton says, the explanation for it matters. My dd struggles to get out her writing and it turns out she has significant synesthesia, i.e. Concepts are colors that she changes to words and then organizes. There is no curriculum for that, sigh.

EF needs that combo of tech and motivation and instruction.

If it makes you any bolder to consider it know that a significant number of people take these kids to psych counseling (for CBT, for EF strategies, for whatever) and that investing there could be one of the best things you'd do. 

On the writing, if language issues and ASD are involved that's hard. Even with tech the language issues remain. It takes detailed testing to identify them. With dd we found that it wasn't realistic to pursue majors requiring extensive writing. 

My dd is not asynchronous btw but very affected. Her mix is functional with supports. My ds has wide spreads but he doesn't live on planet school work. It's tricky to sort out what is low vision on my part and what is reality. That's why you do the detailed testing (that the school probably won't run) and see what you've got.

Noticing differences is that Social Thinking piece so that will vary with the dc. He might or might not but it's a clue as to what his needs are there.

In five years his problem solving skills, Social Thinking, self regulation , etc may be concerning you more than his math skills. It's the stuff to watch.

It's ok not to win on everything. You may not be able to fix everything and make stuff all go away, and that's ok. 

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We did five years of homeschooll high school. I didn’t do any special paper trail. I just counted the last two years as his senior year and put what he studied under the senior label on his transcript. He went to two different college/universities (transfer) and no one asked me about it.

He took longer to get through his senior year because he got a part time job. As an Aspie, I felt like the life and social skills that he was learning at his job were equally important to the academics. And in hindsight I still feel that way. 

My son needed extra time to come into his own. The high school years were difficult emotionally. I took him to a naturopathic doctor and he put my son on a few supplements. My son says that the lithium orotate he now takes was life changing in a good way. (This is different from prescription lithium). It stabilized him so that  he could handle the stress of his job and college. 

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Jean, is your naturopath running thyroid labs to monitor? It's a different form from the prescription (irritate vs carbonate) but it can still tank your thyroid. I wish they sold it in lower doses. whats your ds dose, if you don't mInd? There are some multivitamin products marketed to spectrum that have it but I haven't looked at the dose.

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3 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Jean, is your naturopath running thyroid labs to monitor? It's a different form from the prescription (irritate vs carbonate) but it can still tank your thyroid. I wish they sold it in lower doses. whats your ds dose, if you don't mInd? There are some multivitamin products marketed to spectrum that have it but I haven't looked at the dose.

Initial thyroid tests were great.  That's a good point about monitoring.

5 mg.  (once a day)

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I don’t think my son has gotten more asynchronous, if any thing, perhaps less so and he has not qualified for an iep since 4th grade. But as demands for EF skill increases, or is more expected in teens compared to younger children,  that has become more of a problem for any areas requiring good EF .  He also is back to brick and mortar school now (10th grade at this point).

Homeschooling allowed for less demands to be made on his executive functions, but I think having more demand on EF is probably a good thing, as more use probably helps develop skills better than avoiding demands on it. 

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On 9/21/2018 at 6:15 PM, 8FillTheHeart said:

My 2E dyslexic got less asynchronous over time and ended up being advanced in all areas. As an adult his only decitis are slow reading speed and horrific spelling.

 

I feel like this is true of my oldest dyslexic as well. Right now, slow processing speed and slow reading are his biggest deficits. He is overall advanced and has gotten less asynchronous academically. The reading is a noticeable struggle this year though as he has moved into high school level work and high reading loads. I'm not quite sure how we are going to address that yet. He also struggles with EF organization issues.

My youngest is still too young to tell. He is exceptionally bright analytically, especially in history, but he is still in an elementary or grammar stage for composition, reading, and overall LA skills. This makes it difficult for me to assess his progress because he really hasn't moved into the logic stage yet.

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On 9/24/2018 at 6:37 AM, Jean in Newcastle said:

We did five years of homeschooll high school. I didn’t do any special paper trail. I just counted the last two years as his senior year and put what he studied under the senior label on his transcript.

Ooh, good to know! I don't know where we're going to land, but I've always wondered how to handle this aspect of things if it became necessary. 

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