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Can people really be this illogical? (funny but sad story)


Ann.without.an.e
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2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Someone always replies to this story as you did above.  I understand not everyone could say what side of the street they were on.  But SURELY you know that the answer does not depend on which direction you are coming from.  Right?

My thought is, he gets the question "which side of the street" a lot and people usually want to know right or left, so that is what he heard you ask.

Our brains translate what we hear without us realizing it.

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47 minutes ago, SKL said:

My thought is, he gets the question "which side of the street" a lot and people usually want to know right or left, so that is what he heard you ask.

Our brains translate what we hear without us realizing it.

Maybe.  But when he first said, 'Well, it depends on which direction you are coming from' I replied, 'no. no it doesn't.'  I asked him something else though because I didn't want to get in an argument with a guy on the phone.....so after some further instructions from him on how to reach him, I said, 'ok yes, I see now, so are you on the north or south side of the road?'  Exasperated with me, he says, 'Again ma'am it just depends on which direction you are coming from.'

Edited to add-- Also, this road is in OK and it runs very true East/West.   And in a very flat area.  I honestly do not know how anyone who has worked in that building for more than a day could not know that it sits on the north side of the road.  

Edited by Scarlett
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On 9/18/2018 at 7:17 PM, SKL said:

Sounds like non-mathy people who recall being stumped by the question in this form:  "If you're going 80 miles per hour, how many miles can you go in 80 minutes?  Or some such.  The straight-forward version is almost a trick question.  A person who isn't good at math already gave up before he even really heard the question.

 

My first thought was that having been traumatized by word problems when they were in school, they automatically thought it was a trick question. I'm probably just making excuses for them but still, they might have thought it wasn't as clear and simple as it appeared on the surface. 

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8 minutes ago, Lady Florida. said:

My first thought was that having been traumatized by word problems when they were in school, they automatically thought it was a trick question. I'm probably just making excuses for them but still, they might have thought it wasn't as clear and simple as it appeared on the surface. 

 

That would be me. I'd rather say I don't know for a trick question than give an answer that might be completely wrong and look like an idiot. 

Because, as this thread proves, if you happen to be having a bad day and have a brain fart, people will mock you mercilessly and take it as proof of your overall lack of intelligence. 

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I can laugh at random things that are from nameless, faceless, hypothetical people but it changes when you add a face to it. I often make fun of myself because sometimes my brain is glitchy but that doesn't mean I would do so of others. I'm also hard of hearing which does probably make me seem dumber in certain circumstances but I have the respect of my peoples so I'm ok with it but that isn't the case for everyone.

I feel really bad for that guy who was videoed trying to get his suitcase on the overhead bin of the plane and just needed to turn it. His face is recognizable. My guess is it was posted without permission.  It is hard for me to imagine not figuring out to turn it but maybe he had disabilities, maybe he had a super long flight previously and hadn't slept in days, maybe he had just had dental work and the effects of drugs were wearing off but it's on the internet and it will never ever go away. Every employer he deals with in the future may have seen that. Every new acquaintance. I'm sure not everyone has seen it but man I'd still hate for it to be me. 

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49 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I watched the video but I don't think I'd pick him out in a crowd. If I met him tomorrow I don't think I'd go, "weren't you in a video on facebook?" It's not like there was something really striking about it to me, like a particular tattoo or wild haircut. So most likely people will not make a connection (I think). 

I don't personally agree with filming people like that, though. 

Probably not, but if you already knew the person you would be able to tell since it would no longer be a random stranger. People notice people they know already more than random strangers.

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1 hour ago, frogger said:

I can laugh at random things that are from nameless, faceless, hypothetical people but it changes when you add a face to it. I often make fun of myself because sometimes my brain is glitchy but that doesn't mean I would do so of others. I'm also hard of hearing which does probably make me seem dumber in certain circumstances but I have the respect of my peoples so I'm ok with it but that isn't the case for everyone.

I feel really bad for that guy who was videoed trying to get his suitcase on the overhead bin of the plane and just needed to turn it. His face is recognizable. My guess is it was posted without permission.  It is hard for me to imagine not figuring out to turn it but maybe he had disabilities, maybe he had a super long flight previously and hadn't slept in days, maybe he had just had dental work and the effects of drugs were wearing off but it's on the internet and it will never ever go away. Every employer he deals with in the future may have seen that. Every new acquaintance. I'm sure not everyone has seen it but man I'd still hate for it to be me. 

Oh, sure.  I mean, I doubt most of us on this board go around making fun of people. I was ASTOUNDED by the guy not understanding how directions work....and I really wanted to go in the store and tell him,  'hey in case you ever need to know, your store is on the north side of the road.'  The funny part is he was so annoyed by me....I imagined him going around telling his friends about the crazy woman customer who didn't understand he had to know which direction she was coming from before he could tell her where his store sits.  

I make fun of myself all of the time.  I have so many 'blonde moment' stories about myself I could write a book.

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9 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Oh, sure.  I mean, I doubt most of us on this board go around making fun of people. I was ASTOUNDED by the guy not understanding how directions work....and I really wanted to go in the store and tell him,  'hey in case you ever need to know, your store is on the north side of the road.'  The funny part is he was so annoyed by me....I imagined him going around telling his friends about the crazy woman customer who didn't understand he had to know which direction she was coming from before he could tell her where his store sits.  

I make fun of myself all of the time.  I have so many 'blonde moment' stories about myself I could write a book.

I was mostly referring to the guy videoing his girl friend and similar type things. 

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On 9/19/2018 at 9:40 AM, Home'scool said:

This happened to me a while ago. I was baking and needed "half of 2/3rds" of something. I completely blanked. I then asked my daughter, who just graduated with a degree in architecture, what half of 2/3rds was. She started doing a bunch of division in her head. Then we got silly because we couldn't figure it out, so we called my other daughter who has a degree in biology. She also started doing all sorts of "you divide 3 into 2......"

It was only when we asked my sister did we get the answer. I think it was so simple that we immediately thought it had to be more difficult, and once your brain starts down the wrong path it tends to keep going the wrong way.

We still giggle about it today.

 

 

I'd just fill the 2/3 measuring cup half full.

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5 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Someone always replies to this story as you did above.  I understand not everyone could say what side of the street they were on.  But SURELY you know that the answer does not depend on which direction you are coming from.  Right?

 

Yes, but I still would have to think about it first.  I’m from OK and I can’t stand cardinal directions being given there instead of right/left.  Where I live now, our roads are hilly/curvy and rarely straight.  Sometimes google maps will say head north instead of turn right.  When I’m in a new area, I don’t have my bearings to know which way is north.  I still make an L with my hand to figure out left and right!  When I’m driving, I know for sure the difference between left and right, but I may not know which cardinal direction is where.

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6 hours ago, Mergath said:

 

That would be me. I'd rather say I don't know for a trick question than give an answer that might be completely wrong and look like an idiot. 

Because, as this thread proves, if you happen to be having a bad day and have a brain fart, people will mock you mercilessly and take it as proof of your overall lack of intelligence. 

Well said!  In the past with this kind of stuff people might tell someone in the moment but it wouldn't go much further than that.  Now it goes on the internet and we all end up feeling more self-conscious. 

My anxious dd(ya) is terrified of being "that customer" because of stuff she's read on the internet.  For those of you who think it's harmless because you're not mocking someone in person, please consider the anxiety it produces.  Those stories of xyz being so stupid can really affect someone who struggles with xyz.

We all have our moments and knowledge gaps.

Edited by happi duck
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1 hour ago, frogger said:

I was mostly referring to the guy videoing his girl friend and similar type things. 

It was his WIFE! Are you proud of marrying her for her looks or something, dude? It makes you look mean to set her up and take such obvious pleasure from it. 

3 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

I don't personally agree with filming people like that, though. 

I didn't watch it, so I don't know how it ends, but what happened to standing up and helping someone having a bad day (as I would assume was happening) instead of taking a video?

Edited by RootAnn
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29 minutes ago, RootAnn said:

It was his WIFE! Are you proud of marrying her for her looks or something, dude? It makes you look mean to set her up and take such obvious pleasure from it. 

I didn't watch it, so I don't know how it ends, but what happened to standing up and helping someone having a bad day (as I would assume was happening) instead of taking a video?

That guy prioritized getting that video over driving safely. Then made the effort to post and kept it posted.  In the past that could've just been a moment between them.

I remember a case where people videotaped instead of helping or calling 911.  They didn't end up in trouble because it wasn't against the law.  How could they choose to videotape over calling 911?  The tech was right in their hands!

Because of my weight I fear having someone post a mocking photo of me.  Somehow as a culture we need to stop mocking people.

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15 minutes ago, happi duck said:

That guy prioritized getting that video over driving safely. Then made the effort to post and kept it posted.  In the past that could've just been a moment between them.

I remember a case where people videotaped instead of helping or calling 911.  They didn't end up in trouble because it wasn't against the law.  How could they choose to videotape over calling 911?  The tech was right in their hands!

Because of my weight I fear having someone post a mocking photo of me.  Somehow as a culture we need to stop mocking people.

There is a huge difference between mocking a photo of someone and expressing astonishment that a person doesn't understand basic math.  The Verizon audio is an example....the customer wasn't mocking them.  He was trying to get them to understand they misquoted him and they (many of them) didn't understand basic math.  Even after he explained and explained and explained.  That is a discussion of lack of education.  That is a far cry from posting a picture of someone and mocking something about their physical make-up.

Same with the guy who didn't understand how directions work.....it wasn't that he didn't know which side of the street he was on....he didn't seem to grasp that north and south don't change based upon your direction of travel.  I don't think that is mocking.  

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8 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Maybe.  But when he first said, 'Well, it depends on which direction you are coming from' I replied, 'no. no it doesn't.'  I asked him something else though because I didn't want to get in an argument with a guy on the phone.....so after some further instructions from him on how to reach him, I said, 'ok yes, I see now, so are you on the north or south side of the road?'  Exasperated with me, he says, 'Again ma'am it just depends on which direction you are coming from.'

Edited to add-- Also, this road is in OK and it runs very true East/West.   And in a very flat area.  I honestly do not know how anyone who has worked in that building for more than a day could not know that it sits on the north side of the road.  

Sounds like he thought you were asking whether you needed to travel North or South to get to his location.  Which would depend on where you started from.

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1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

There is a huge difference between mocking a photo of someone and expressing astonishment that a person doesn't understand basic math.  The Verizon audio is an example....the customer wasn't mocking them.  He was trying to get them to understand they misquoted him and they (many of them) didn't understand basic math.  Even after he explained and explained and explained.  That is a discussion of lack of education.  That is a far cry from posting a picture of someone and mocking something about their physical make-up.

Same with the guy who didn't understand how directions work.....it wasn't that he didn't know which side of the street he was on....he didn't seem to grasp that north and south don't change based upon your direction of travel.  I don't think that is mocking.  

Then I'll add astonished "how can they not know *that*? (What an idiot implied)" comments to my list.

When you're astonished about someone not knowing directions and share online (with a large group right then and also whoever runs across it later) then others with that knowledge gap get to feel put down too.

Big difference between telling the world "here's my story of someone being dumb" and telling a spouse "boy, I was really surprised when the guy at the store didn't know what side of the street they were on."

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4 hours ago, happi duck said:

Then I'll add astonished "how can they not know *that*? (What an idiot implied)" comments to my list.

When you're astonished about someone not knowing directions and share online (with a large group right then and also whoever runs across it later) then others with that knowledge gap get to feel put down too.

Big difference between telling the world "here's my story of someone being dumb" and telling a spouse "boy, I was really surprised when the guy at the store didn't know what side of the street they were on."

If I read a story that highlighted a gap I have I would go educate myself in it if I cared. There is a lot if things to know 

edited to add— such as grammar. That is what happens when I post from my phone. Lol

Edited by Scarlett
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5 hours ago, school17777 said:

 

Yes, but I still would have to think about it first.  I’m from OK and I can’t stand cardinal directions being given there instead of right/left.  Where I live now, our roads are hilly/curvy and rarely straight.  Sometimes google maps will say head north instead of turn right.  When I’m in a new area, I don’t have my bearings to know which way is north.  I still make an L with my hand to figure out left and right!  When I’m driving, I know for sure the difference between left and right, but I may not know which cardinal direction is where.

Ah! My spatially-challenged soul sista! ?

GPS saved me! For realz. Before GPS, I got hopelessly lost on a regular basis. I needed explicit directions going TO every place AND explicit directions on how to return from there. NO! I cannot just reverse them in my head! 

So many needless arguments I had in the car with dh (who is a pilot and a spatial genius) because he wanted me to “just reverse directions” I had printed from MapQuest, like, coming home from Vermont. I cannot do it! I would always make a mistake and he would get mad and I would get more leery of making another mistake and he would get madder at my hesitancy...It was bad. 

Now I just say, “Hey, Siri! Give me directions home!” Voilà! No arguments. Even if there’s some dang road closure or a 9-mile backup, we won’t get lost. ?

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1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

If I read a story that highlighted a gap I have I would go educate myself in it if I cared. There is a lot if things to know 

 

Unless the people commenting about how ridiculously dumb you were made you so dispirited you didn't bother.

I understand that as homeschoolers, many of us have insecurities and threads like this can be reassuring. We can sit and say, "At least my kids know THAT," and feel secure in our choice to forgo public school. But it doesn't matter. Mocking people for being either less intelligent or less well educated isn't nice. And it isn't going to encourage them to learn more. It's just going to make them feel like crap, whether you're laughing at someone to their face or indirectly mocking someone who struggles in a thread like this.

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3 minutes ago, Quill said:

Ah! My spatially-challenged soul sista! ?

GPS saved me! For realz. Before GPS, I got hopelessly lost on a regular basis. I needed explicit directions going TO every place AND explicit directions on how to return from there. NO! I cannot just reverse them in my head! 

So many needless arguments I had in the car with dh (who is a pilot and a spatial genius) because he wanted me to “just reverse directions” I had printed from MapQuest, like, coming home from Vermont. I cannot do it! I would always make a mistake and he would get mad and I would get more leery of making another mistake and he would get madder at my hesitancy...It was bad. 

Now I just say, “Hey, Siri! Give me directions home!” Voilà! No arguments. Even if there’s some dang road closure or a 9-mile backup, we won’t get lost. ?

 

Same here. When people start telling me to turn north on highway 79 or whatever, they might as well be speaking Mandarin. I need people to be like, "Turn left onto the wonky road with the peach house on the corner right after Walmart."

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On 9/19/2018 at 5:31 PM, Scarlett said:

Ok I know this is not a numbers thing but I still can't believe it.  I asked an employee of a store, over the phone, if their building was on the north or south side of the street.  He said, ' well it depends on which direction you are coming from.'. 

I use north, south, east, west in directions all the time. I actually think I know why he was confused because I have to clarifity this with people when I give them directions.

You were really asking, is which side of the **street** is the **store front**  on.  The location of the street and store front do not change   He just wasn't taking your question literal enough to give you a precise answer.

He likely thought you were wanting directions from where **you** are traveling from (even if it is just around the corner).  Which can change in direction based on origin point. Many people ask for specific directions from a specific location.  To you. if you are on the same street as the store front, then it doesn't matter, North/South won't change.  If you are coming from a street that is perpendicular, then north/south are more complicated unless you know the origin point.

 

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13 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

e turned in front of someone while trying to get on the on ramp, trying to figure out why Google was sending him the wrong way.  Totaled his car, though ultimately all the people were ok.  I don't blame him cause he just has always been directionally challenged.  But had Google taken him a SENSIBLE way instead of some route with twists and turns and UTurns....he would have been much more aware of his surroundings.

Oh my! That’s awful! 

I have had the experience of Google taking me a wonky way that wasn’t logical to me and then, though I wasn’t actually lost, I was completely dependant upon the directions because I no longer knew my surroundings at all. 

One situation that messes me up is when I have gone multiple ways as a passenger to the same final location. This happens when the aforementioned spatial genius, dh, takes me to some location multiple times but using a variety of routes to get there. All those routes fuzz together in my mind and then when I try to go there myself from memory, I can’t. Everything looks familiar and I end up thinking, “Wait! That sign said 301! We took 301 before...but then what comes next?”

I still struggle to drive to our beach house myself because of this. I can now pretty much get there on my own without GPS because dd goes to college near there and so I have now made the trip myself many times. But we have had the house for 17 years and I only just started to know in the last two years because of going to the college! 

I imagine my dh “sees” all these roads and how they connect in his mind, just as they appear from an arial view; he even knows the positions of all the different rivers relative to the way we go. So he will say inconceivable things like, “...that’s the road that crosses South River...” oh. Well, okay then! (Not really!) 

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57 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

Actually, that's EXACTLY how I see it.  When I travel a new route, I can visualize it, as I am travelling it, in my mind as if I am looking at it from above on a map, and I can see N, S, E, and W in my mind on this map.  I chuckled at the "he even knows the positions of the different rivers" because..........I do lol.  The ONLY two exceptions have been Washington DC (which we only visited for a day) and Muncie Indiana, where DD22 when to college.  I understand why WDC didn't imprint, but Muncie, I dunno.  I couldn't latch on to Muncie for anything.

 

BUT, because I know DH doesn't see things that way, I try to give him ALL the details.  So, I might say "that's the road that crosses South River"  I will also say something like "South River is the bridge with the giant statue of the eagle on it, it's right after the stoplight for Smith Street.  You will pass the Arby's and then the Speedway gas station  and then that will be the light, then you will see that bridge."

 

 

I'm very spatially challenged, too. When we were first married, DH wanted me to visualize the roads I took to work and tell him what landmark was on which corner. I couldn't do it. He was incredibly frustrated (How can you not know? It's so easy!) and I was more hesitant to drive with him as a passenger. Fast forward 30 years and I still don't like to drive in strange places with him next to me, but he doesn't get as frustrated as he used to. It was a good exercise and one I use now. I can get where I need to go, but sometimes, not usually by choice, I take the sightseeing route. I'd just rather travel by myself so no one has to see how often I make u turns or get on the highway going the wrong direction.

I would love to have dh's ability. But that's not who I am. I have other strengths DH doesn't have. However, I would like a compass in my car so when Google tells me to turn north, I'll know if that's left or right.

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1 hour ago, Quill said:

I imagine my dh “sees” all these roads and how they connect in his mind, just as they appear from an arial view; he even knows the positions of all the different rivers relative to the way we go. So he will say inconceivable things like, “...that’s the road that crosses South River...” oh. Well, okay then! (Not really!) 

That's just like looking at a map, isn't it? The map IS the aerial view. Don't you look at the map before a drive?

Like you, I can't memorize a route very well if I just ride as a passenger. I have to see it on the map; then it's no problem.

Edited by regentrude
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2 hours ago, Mergath said:

 

Unless the people commenting about how ridiculously dumb you were made you so dispirited you didn't bother.

I understand that as homeschoolers, many of us have insecurities and threads like this can be reassuring. We can sit and say, "At least my kids know THAT," and feel secure in our choice to forgo public school. But it doesn't matter. Mocking people for being either less intelligent or less well educated isn't nice. And it isn't going to encourage them to learn more. It's just going to make them feel like crap, whether you're laughing at someone to their face or indirectly mocking someone who struggles in a thread like this.

I think that is a problem I can’t fix or prevent. I don’t think it is reasonable to stop discussing every educational gap we run across or every amusing thing that happens to us because someone somewhere might feel bad. 

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6 hours ago, regentrude said:

That's just like looking at a map, isn't it? The map IS the aerial view. Don't you look at the map before a drive?

Like you, I can't memorize a route very well if I just ride as a passenger. I have to see it on the map; then it's no problem.

Now, I do look at the Google map before I drive somewhere, so I have the general idea; if it’s in a familiar area, I may not need the GPS at all, or possibly just for the last bit. But were I driving somewhere totally new, looking at the map beforehand would not imprint on my mind where I will turn, which direction, how long I should be on this road before joining that road, etc. 

Before GPS, I couldn’t really follow a paper map to get somewhere totally new. 

I have noticed that when I follow written directions, as the driver, to go somewhere new, it imprints on my mind much better than if I am listening to GPS turn-by-turn. When I moved my son in to his college dorm, there were written directions because “following GPS will put you against traffic”. So now I have driven back to his dorm twice following those directions and they are pretty solid in my head now. But I only know them linearly and visually, not from an arial view. 

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7 hours ago, wilrunner said:

I'm very spatially challenged, too. When we were first married, DH wanted me to visualize the roads I took to work and tell him what landmark was on which corner. I couldn't do it. He was incredibly frustrated (How can you not know? It's so easy!) and I was more hesitant to drive with him as a passenger. Fast forward 30 years and I still don't like to drive in strange places with him next to me, but he doesn't get as frustrated as he used to. It was a good exercise and one I use now. I can get where I need to go, but sometimes, not usually by choice, I take the sightseeing route. I'd just rather travel by myself so no one has to see how often I make u turns or get on the highway going the wrong direction.

I would love to have dh's ability. But that's not who I am. I have other strengths DH doesn't have. However, I would like a compass in my car so when Google tells me to turn north, I'll know if that's left or right.

I relate. I don’t like driving with DH as a passenger. I “warn” friends if I’m driving them somewhere I haven’t been. One of my friends was so funny about it; she was like, “Oh my gosh! I have found Quill’s flaw!” ? 

One time I got very iritated with dh and said, “Look. I don’t give you heck about your inability to spell. I don’t taunt you when you spell ‘deposit’ wrong for the nine hundreth time. I’m good at words and you’re good at directions. Let’s just focus on that.” 

I don’t have any instincts for cardinal direction, either. I only know N, S, E, W if I am already located somewhere I know. Like, I know what cities are north of my house and I know which are west, east, south, because I know which roads and highways take me there. But you couldn’t just plunk me down in a town and have me guess which way is north. 

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13 hours ago, Where's Toto? said:

Sounds like he thought you were asking whether you needed to travel North or South to get to his location.  Which would depend on where you started from.

I don't know why he would think I meant that when my words were, 'are you located on the north or south side of the road?' And I asked him the same question two different times during the conversation, thinking perhaps he misunderstood.  He was very annoyed with me,, 'again ma'am, it just depends on which direction you are coming from'.   Unlike the Verizon tape, I didn't try to educate him.  Somewhat because I found his building and somewhat because I didn't want to embarrass him.

And that story has nothing to do with being directionally challenged.   He either lacked basic knowledge about cardinal directions or he lacked listening comprehension.  

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32 minutes ago, Quill said:

I relate. I don’t like driving with DH as a passenger. I “warn” friends if I’m driving them somewhere I haven’t been. One of my friends was so funny about it; she was like, “Oh my gosh! I have found Quill’s flaw!” ? 

One time I got very iritated with dh and said, “Look. I don’t give you heck about your inability to spell. I don’t taunt you when you spell ‘deposit’ wrong for the nine hundreth time. I’m good at words and you’re good at directions. Let’s just focus on that.” 

I don’t have any instincts for cardinal direction, either. I only know N, S, E, W if I am already located somewhere I know. Like, I know what cities are north of my house and I know which are west, east, south, because I know which roads and highways take me there. But you couldn’t just plunk me down in a town and have me guess which way is north. 

But if you were looking at the sunrise on a straight road you would know that was east, right?

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I am terrible with directions.  This is a big problem when non-locals come to visit, because we don't have many obvious landmarks AND GPS is pretty wonky here. (Neither my car navigation nor Waze recognize my house, even when I'm in my driveway and hit the button that's supposed to mark my coordinates.)  Also, you have to drive miles and miles on winding roads.

"Go, like, I don't know... somewhere between 5 and 8 miles, and then the road will split kind of to the right. A few miles down it will split again, a lot more to the right.  There might be signs.  There's a bridge before one split and a grate before the other. No, I don't remember which is which.  Then go all the way up the mountain. There's a gas station at the top.  I don't know if it's an Exxon, Sunoco, or BP this week.  Trust me, it doesn't matter because it's the only one!  No, not that one; I said the TOP of the mountain. No, that's not the top of the mountain.  Keep going.  Keep going.  Keep going.  HOW DID YOU MISS IT?!?!"  My poor sister.

I still have to picture a map and "find" my location and destination before getting on the interstate.  I understand cardinal directions, I just don't use them intuitively.

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I can understand being directionally challenged for most places. But for the love of basic necessity, people should know where their house and their work is. They go there every day? So if I say, “Is that gas station South or north of X?” Alright I could see how they’d maybe need wiggle room to say where it is. But if I ask for directions to their house or their work? It doesn’t have to be intuitive. At some point, you write the directions down so that you know them. Keep it written for reference if necessary as a coping mechanism for directional deficiency. It’s the lack of having developed a coping mechanism that worries me more than the lack of any directional know-how.

Likewise for the measuring cup situation. I’m less worried about the lack of math than by the lack of coping with the math lack.

Maybe it’s because I’m dyscalculic or because I have spectrum kids or just because I have 11 kids to juggle but coping mechanisms are HUGE to me. I’ve never met anyone that didn’t need them for something.

I was having a group event with some kids last week and one dad is telling me all the issues his spectrum daughter has. Okay, so I ask what are her coping mechanisms for those issues? He looked like it had never occurred to him she would need coping mechanisms. THAT was what gave me serious pause of concern. 

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13 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

I can understand being directionally challenged for most places. But for the love of basic necessity, people should know where their house and their work is. They go there every day? So if I say, “Is that gas station South or north of X?” Alright I could see how they’d maybe need wiggle room to say where it is. But if I ask for directions to their house or their work? It doesn’t have to be intuitive. At some point, you write the directions down so that you know them. Keep it written for reference if necessary as a coping mechanism for directional deficiency. It’s the lack of having developed a coping mechanism that worries me more than the lack of any directional know-how.

Likewise for the measuring cup situation. I’m less worried about the lack of math than by the lack of coping with the math lack.

Maybe it’s because I’m dyscalculic or because I have spectrum kids or just because I have 11 kids to juggle but coping mechanisms are HUGE to me. I’ve never met anyone that didn’t need them for something.

I was having a group event with some kids last week and one dad is telling me all the issues his spectrum daughter has. Okay, so I ask what are her coping mechanisms for those issues? He looked like it had never occurred to him she would need coping mechanisms. THAT was what gave me serious pause of concern. 

Yes! For instance, I didn't know what the word dyscalculic meant, but guess what?  I figured it out 2.3 seconds.  And I don't care if everyone in the world knows what that word meant and they are now making fun of me for not knowing....I just know that *I* need to know so I went and found out what it meant.

That Verizon audio?  I honestly have to stop and think about that kind of math.  It doesn't come 'easy' to me.  But I PROMISE you if my job involved telling people they would be charged .002 anything per KB I would figure out what that meant.

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6 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Yes! For instance, I didn't know what the word dyscalculic meant, but guess what?  I figured it out 2.3 seconds.  And I don't care if everyone in the world knows what that word meant and they are now making fun of me for not knowing....I just know that *I* need to know so I went and found out what it meant.

That Verizon audio?  I honestly have to stop and think about that kind of math.  It doesn't come 'easy' to me.  But I PROMISE you if my job involved telling people they would be charged .002 anything per KB I would figure out what that meant.

I hear you!  

30 years ago, I was working at an incoming call center where people were buying peripherals and accessories for their printers (and maybe a few computers, I can't really recall).  Yes, I had used printers before but I wasn't a computer person per se and I certainly didn't come to the job knowing print specs or connectivity requirements.  I learned quickly and that was before we had a computer and there was no easy internet searching.  

And yes, to Murphy101.  Hacks all the way, get arounds,  etc.  Like I now have numerous scissors around the house and one in my person.  Now I can open items.

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10 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I think that is a problem I can’t fix or prevent. I don’t think it is reasonable to stop discussing every educational gap we run across or every amusing thing that happens to us because someone somewhere might feel bad. 

 

So your own amusement at mocking someone's poor education is more important than their feelings? That's unkind, to say the least.

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4 minutes ago, Mergath said:

 

So your own amusement at mocking someone's poor education is more important than their feelings? That's unkind, to say the least.

 

It isn’t mocking to be genuinely horrified by poor education. 

So, am I laughing at how ignorant someone is? I don’t think I’ve ever done that. And the videos tick me off bc I think it’s a jerk thing to do. 

But yeah, I’m going to note that it’s utterly ridiculous, annoying and downright worrisome that someone who works in say labor and delivery told me in exasperation, “why didn’t you hold it in until we could make it?!” When I went from 0 to baby completely delivered in less than 3 minutes. Someone that ignorant of basics about their job shouldn’t have the job. 

Likewise, if someone can’t tell a customer how to get to their store or someone who has to weigh stuff all day can’t figure out fractions or ....

At some point, people need to stop accepting ignorance as an acceptable situation.

Ignorance in and of itself doesn’t bother me. We are all ignorant about many things. But when I realize I’m ignorant about something, I figure out how to either remove that ignorance or cope with the difficulty of dealing with it. I don’t understand why anyone would not do that. I’m aware that many don’t, but I can’t fathom why because I’m also aware it makes their own lives more difficult. 

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OK so since I admit to having a family member with this issue, I am interested in the why.

I know I first said "some people aren't mathy / you can't make someone mathy."

But on a more specific level, I think it goes back to the fear of word problems.  And honestly, I think the fear of word problems is the biggest reason why they are hard for some.  Or if it isn't, then what is?  I mean my kid can get 100% on a page of equations, then have no idea what to do with a word problem illustrating the simplest version of the concept she just demonstrated 20 times.

What's happening is that she isn't even really reading the problem.  She's making a wild guess as to what numbers go where and what operations apply.  No amount of work on these problems seems to fix the initial problem - the fear.  I can't understand it since I always found word problems easier than the rest of my homework.

I hesitate to say it's poor education.  But I don't know what to call it.  I don't know if there's a fix for it, even in a person who does know a fair amount of basic math.

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2 hours ago, SKL said:

OK so since I admit to having a family member with this issue, I am interested in the why.

I know I first said "some people aren't mathy / you can't make someone mathy."

But on a more specific level, I think it goes back to the fear of word problems.  And honestly, I think the fear of word problems is the biggest reason why they are hard for some.  Or if it isn't, then what is?  I mean my kid can get 100% on a page of equations, then have no idea what to do with a word problem illustrating the simplest version of the concept she just demonstrated 20 times.

What's happening is that she isn't even really reading the problem.  She's making a wild guess as to what numbers go where and what operations apply.  No amount of work on these problems seems to fix the initial problem - the fear.  I can't understand it since I always found word problems easier than the rest of my homework.

I hesitate to say it's poor education.  But I don't know what to call it.  I don't know if there's a fix for it, even in a person who does know a fair amount of basic math.

I think sometimes (and I include myself in this group) a concept is difficult and the brain shuts down.  That is how I did with math in about 6th grade.  I went on to graduate with honors from my high school...back when nothing beyond Algebra 1 was required. I was a good faker and test taker, but  I never felt comfortable with math.  My mom is very mathy...but somewhere in just getting us raised and her own self through college she didn't notice my huge gaps.  She ended up doing a lot of extra workshops (like 4 times a year, a week at a time) learning how to teach math to very young children.  Then I had my son and she  passed on what she had learned and I was able to teach my son math.  And for the first time in my life I 'got' some concepts. So I would say in my case the foundation was lacking. I imagine that is true with a lot of people.

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2 hours ago, SKL said:

OK so since I admit to having a family member with this issue, I am interested in the why.

I know I first said "some people aren't mathy / you can't make someone mathy."

But on a more specific level, I think it goes back to the fear of word problems.  And honestly, I think the fear of word problems is the biggest reason why they are hard for some.  Or if it isn't, then what is?  I mean my kid can get 100% on a page of equations, then have no idea what to do with a word problem illustrating the simplest version of the concept she just demonstrated 20 times.

What's happening is that she isn't even really reading the problem.  She's making a wild guess as to what numbers go where and what operations apply.  No amount of work on these problems seems to fix the initial problem - the fear.  I can't understand it since I always found word problems easier than the rest of my homework.

I hesitate to say it's poor education.  But I don't know what to call it.  I don't know if there's a fix for it, even in a person who does know a fair amount of basic math.

 

An education that doesn’t impart basic knowledge or reasoning skills to an otherwise able to do those things person is a poor education. 

I don’t believe in mathy or not mathy people. I refuse to use that language in my house for anything. Some people seem to grasp it easier, but that’s true for everything.  It doesn’t mean other people aren’t capable of it. It just means it doesn’t come as easy to them. A good education understands that and works with those people to make it easier for them understand. A poor education shrugs and just says they must not be mathy people.

For starters, coping mechanisms require the use of reasoning skills. And it also requires a knowledge base to extrapolate from. 

For example, I might have to do some math to figure what the actual number is for 1/2 of 2/3cups. But I do know what half means, so I can just use half of the 2/3 cup.

And yes, I think crappy word problems do cause brains to freeze in anxiety and after years of that, a very solid wall of Cantitus prevents growth in that area. I consider this the result of a poor education. I have more sympathy and frustration than anything else for it. 

 

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2 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

 

An education that doesn’t impart basic knowledge or reasoning skills to an otherwise able to do those things person is a poor education. 

I don’t believe in mathy or not mathy people. I refuse to use that language in my house for anything. Some people seem to grasp it easier, but that’s true for everything.  It doesn’t mean other people aren’t capable of it. It just means it doesn’t come as easy to them. A good education understands that and works with those people to make it easier for them understand. A poor education shrugs and just says they must not be mathy people.

For starters, coping mechanisms require the use of reasoning skills. And it also requires a knowledge base to extrapolate from. 

For example, I might have to do some math to figure what the actual number is for 1/2 of 2/3cups. But I do know what half means, so I can just use half of the 2/3 cup.

And yes, I think crappy word problems do cause brains to freeze in anxiety and after years of that, a very solid wall of Cantitus prevents growth in that area. I consider this the result of a poor education. I have more sympathy and frustration than anything else for it. 

 

Off topic, but to the bold, I keep wondering why nobody just thinks "obviously 1 is half of 2 so 1 third is half of 2 thirds."  But maybe my brain is the odd one.  Luckily there is usually more than 1 (often several) ways to solve a problem.

To the main point, I'm reminded of a song:

Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind ....
 
That's what my brain does when someone keeps trying to change the way my brain works.  I could sort of see it happening to my kid when someone tries to convince her that she really wants to spend more time on word problems.  ?
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22 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

 

An education that doesn’t impart basic knowledge or reasoning skills to an otherwise able to do those things person is a poor education. 

I don’t believe in mathy or not mathy people. I refuse to use that language in my house for anything. Some people seem to grasp it easier, but that’s true for everything.  It doesn’t mean other people aren’t capable of it. It just means it doesn’t come as easy to them. A good education understands that and works with those people to make it easier for them understand. A poor education shrugs and just says they must not be mathy people.

For starters, coping mechanisms require the use of reasoning skills. And it also requires a knowledge base to extrapolate from. 

For example, I might have to do some math to figure what the actual number is for 1/2 of 2/3cups. But I do know what half means, so I can just use half of the 2/3 cup.

And yes, I think crappy word problems do cause brains to freeze in anxiety and after years of that, a very solid wall of Cantitus prevents growth in that area. I consider this the result of a poor education. I have more sympathy and frustration than anything else for it. 

 

Right my mom doesn't like terms like 'mathy' either.  She doesn't buy that I don't 'get' math.  She thinks I just need to focus and learn it.  Well, maybe so, but at age 53 I have other fish to fry.  My coping mechanisms are fine.  I am glad I was able to et my son on a better path to understanding math. 

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On 9/19/2018 at 8:14 PM, Amber in SJ said:

.  Hanging out at the park

Other Mom:  I am supposed have the boys do a standing long jump for scouts tonight, but I didn't bring my measuring tape.

Me:  Well, how accurate do you need to be?  Dollar bills are just over 6" long, I have one of those.

Other Mom:  How will that help?  The measurement has to be in feet.

Me: Well, you could use the dollar bill like a 6" long ruler.......  you know, like two per foot.

Other Mom:  That would never work, I'd need like $6.

Yet Another Mom at the Park:  Well, I have a $5 so if Amber has $1 there's your $6

Me:  What?  Noooooooooo!

 

Amber in SJ

I really did laugh out loud at this one. I'm hoping Yet Another Mom at the Park did not hear the full conversation or was trolling. One can hope, right???

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9 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I don't know why he would think I meant that when my words were, 'are you located on the north or south side of the road?' And I asked him the same question two different times during the conversation, thinking perhaps he misunderstood.  He was very annoyed with me,, 'again ma'am, it just depends on which direction you are coming from'.   Unlike the Verizon tape, I didn't try to educate him.  Somewhat because I found his building and somewhat because I didn't want to embarrass him.

And that story has nothing to do with being directionally challenged.   He either lacked basic knowledge about cardinal directions or he lacked listening comprehension.  

I disagree, though. To me, it’s not normal way to refer to which side of a street a building is on. In the same situation, I would say, “If you are coming east-bound, the building is on your left; if you’re westbound, it is on your right.” Even the GPS lady tells me, “Your destination is on the right.” If someone asked me whether my house was on the east or west side of the road, I would have to think about it; even now, I am sitting here thinking, “Hmm...” I have to mentally stand out on my road and think, “So, that is north-bound and this is south-bound, so...east. My driveway is on the east side of the road.” But it doesn’t spring to mind in such manner because my sense of cardinal direction is not well developed. In fifteen years of living here, I have not described my house position in that way and nobody has asked in that way. 

So...I don’t know. I don’t think it’s good to be condescending when one is good at something others do less well. I suck at some things and am good at others. I don’t really like for someone to highlight my area of least gift. We can’t all be amazing at everything. 

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2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Right my mom doesn't like terms like 'mathy' either.  She doesn't buy that I don't 'get' math.  She thinks I just need to focus and learn it.  Well, maybe so, but at age 53 I have other fish to fry.  My coping mechanisms are fine.  I am glad I was able to et my son on a better path to understanding math. 

 

Ugh.  No.  That's like saying if you just speak louder in a foreign language, the person you are trying to talk to will be able to understand if they just focus on learning it.

That's not how most things are learned and I don't think that "just focus" teaches math either.

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2 minutes ago, Quill said:

I disagree, though. To me, it’s not normal way to refer to which side of a street a building is on. In the same situation, I would say, “If you are coming east-bound, the building is on your left; if you’re westbound, it is on your right.” Even the GPS lady tells me, “Your destination is on the right.” If someone asked me whether my house was on the east or west side of the road, I would have to think about it; even now, I am sitting here thinking, “Hmm...” I have to mentally stand out on my road and think, “So, that is north-bound and this is south-bound, so...east. My driveway is on the east side of the road.” But it doesn’t spring to mind in such manner because my sense of cardinal direction is not well developed. In fifteen years of living here, I have not described my house position in that way and nobody has asked in that way. 

So...I don’t know. I don’t think it’s good to be condescending when one is good at something others do less well. I suck at some things and am good at others. I don’t really like for someone to highlight my area of least gift. We can’t all be amazing at everything. 

Well, personally I am amazing at nothing.  LOL.....but still and yet to me cardinal directions.....especially when roads run so straight and true...are much easier to use to relay directions...I mean north side of the road is north side of the road regardless of whether you come from north, east, south or west or fly in on a helicopter. 

Oh, and my house sits diagonally on our lot.  I am constantly pointing the wrong way because in my mind I want the dang house to sit straight.

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3 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

 

Ugh.  No.  That's like saying if you just speak louder in a foreign language, the person you are trying to talk to will be able to understand if they just focus on learning it.

That's not how most things are learned and I don't think that teaches math.

Well, I might have simplified her wording.  She is actually an excellent teacher.  She was a teacher and she did a great job of teaching me to teach ds.  

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