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Parking psychology


school17777
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So I had to take my ds back to school early this morning and I’m here at Chick-fil-A waiting for them (ds and dd) to finish their 8 am classes.  I get to the parking lot and there’s only one other customer car here.  I park several spots away, guy gets in his car and leaves before I get out of my car, so I’m the only customer in the 70 some spots.  The workers cars are in the way back.  Another customer comes.  Guess where he parks?  Right next to my car.

I don’t get it.  There are better spots and lots of other spots so he wouldn’t be literally right next to me.

Thinking about it, it happens often even though I intentionally park far way so I won’t be beside another car, someone ends up parking next to me anyway.  Like yesterday evening at the grocery store same thing happened, although the store was packed with people getting ready for the hurricane so the parking lot may have gotten full while I was shopping.

This reminded me of going to one of our kids tournaments.  His game was the first one and we got there an hour early.  We were the first car in the section of hundreds of spots.  We picked a spot and opened our doors to unload.  The 2nd car there wanted to park right next to us so we had to close our door.  What the heck?  There was no special about that spot.

A friend parked next to me on time when I parked out of the way so I could open my doors and unload the kid and stroller without worrying about other cars.  She pulled up and motioned for me to close my door.  Plenty of parking spots were open.  She said she wanted to park next to someone she knew so she didn’t have to worry about getting dinged on at least that side.  I told her I had purposely parked out of the way so I could open my doors (I had a handmedown grandma style car with big, heavy doors then) without worrying about dinging the car next to me.  She said she didn’t think about that.

Anyway, why do people park next to someone when there are lots of spaces?  Just a random question for the day! 

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No clue. I try to park in spots that aren't close to people. If I have to park close to people, I prefer newer or shiny clean cars - going off the assumption that they care more about their cars since people are generally more careful about new cars and if you care enough to wash & wax your car, I assume you will be more careful of it. I try to avoid parking across from extended cab pickups or large SUVs (simply because they are longer and it is slightly more difficult for me to back up with them sticking out past all the rest of the cars). I avoid parking next to any dually truck- they are just too wide to fit nicely in one spot. 

So I won't park next to you unless that is the only spot. If I knew you, I might park one spot away so we could walk to the event together though. 

I usually try to back into my spots too unless the parking spaces are slanted or I need to access the trunk. When I get somewhere early - there are fewer people, so I see everyone, so I prefer to back in and it is easier to leave as you have better line-of-sight when you may have a lot of people walking through the parking lot headed to their cars. 

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That’s smart to pick to park next to new, shiny cars.  I’m going to remember that the next time I’m parking where there aren’t a lot of choices.  I try to park next to vans because they at least have sliding doors for the kids.

I try to find pull through spots, and if I can’t and I think it’ll be crazy leaving, I’ll back in.

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This always seems to happen to me, too. It used to irritate me even more when I drove a 15 person Ford van for a few years . The doors on the side would both swing out to open so the kids could get out. I would always try to park away from other cars, but it didn’t help. Someone would always park very close on that side making it so hard to get the kids in. 

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There’s one parking lot here (hockey rink) where I *have* to park next to another vehicle or I just cannot park correctly in the space. They are small spots and next to (or in) a flood plain, so the lot slopes weird for drainage.  I can’t seem to straighten out in the spot, and then the lot fills up with all the big trucks and SUVs, and then I can’t get sticks and bags back in the car later.

I also can’t see over the steering wheel in DH’s car (Civic), and I have to almost stand up in the car to see the lines for the space.  I can manage fine in most lots, just the rink gives me trouble.

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9 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

I am thinking there might be some sort of subconscious thing going on.  Some sort of unconscious tendency to clump together or line up lol. 

Hmmm . . . . maybe there's an introvert/extrovert component? Like the extroverts subconsciously want to park near somebody and the introverts want to have some extra personal space? 

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I know!!! I've had that happen quite often.  When I was taking an night class this summer. Sometimes I'd get dinner on the road and arrive early to eat in the car.  I'd park far away from other cars so I could eat in peace.  But, every stinking time someone would want to park next to me.  

 

I don't understand that psychology either.  

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2 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

Hmmm . . . . maybe there's an introvert/extrovert component? Like the extroverts subconsciously want to park near somebody and the introverts want to have some extra personal space? 

I've noticed this phenomenon in (virtually) empty restaurants as well.   And I think it has a lot to do with extrovert/introvert dynamics.   Extroverts just naturally want to be near other people, and introverts naturally want space.     

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I hate when people park by me in uncrowded lots. It feels intrusive. I know it's irrational and DH doesn't follow my rule at all when he parks. I think some people naturally drift towards others or maybe they unconsciously think that if others are there it must be a good spot. 

 

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41 minutes ago, school17777 said:

 

What are some of your rules?

Well, assuming I'm not in a big hurry, I park as far away as practical (for exercise), certainly away from other parked cars if there are free spaces.  Regardless, I try to leave open (non-restricted) spaces close to the doors, because I know what it's like to need a close space and not find one.  I try to park in a space where it would be both convenient and legal to drive out forward vs. backing out.  When I have young kids in the car (rare nowadays), I park in a space that allows little or no walking through the parking lot, e.g., on the back side of the building in front of a sidewalk.  If it doesn't feel safe my proximity and my ability to see the car from inside will be different.  If I have a kid in the backseat, I am strategic about parking where my kids might ding someone else's door - because despite much teaching, it has happened.  At church, I park as close as possible to the street for a quick getaway as the parking lot fills up with cars and people.  There's probably more.

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I’ve never noticed that in the parking lot before. I did have a similar experience in a waiting room the other day. I went with my husband to get a mri in the evening hours. No one was there in the waiting room except me. After a while two loud obnoxious women entered, checked in, and sat right next to me. There were no less than twenty other seats in the room. And to top it off, they brought stinky food to eat while they waited. The woman right next to me had a salad with her meal. She shook the container violently while blabbing away for a full minute. I sat there getting more annoyed by the minute until I couldn’t take it. I got up and left and waited in the lobby. That was so rude. 

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I have some weird parking "rules", too.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis which affects my ability to walk (some days are worse than others) but the disability in my wrists is worse.

Being able to pull out is desirable, and in some parking lots it is a necessity.

I prefer to pull in to the left.  Really, really prefer.  

I need the space that will be to my right to be empty.  Or a handicapped space with the little walkway works, too.

I need to be close to the store if possible, but the items listed above take preference.  At stores with shopping carts that I can use as a walker I can walk a little farther.

Handicapped parking is preferred if I am driving my big van.  It's really hard for me to get the van into regular-sized spaces.

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My husband will choose to park next to someone whereas I would rather walk the whole parking lot and park by myself. I realized when he was teaching my boys to drive that he does this because he thinks it is difficult to pull into a space with no other cars around and it is easier to pull in straight with a car next to him as a guide. I think that is odd. He is a good driver and I have never seen him have trouble parking. So maybe he started this habit as a new driver and it just stuck. ??

However, he would not do that in an empty parking lot that would make it socially weird. 

I would also rather walk a long distance than wait or fight for a spot while dh would circle the lot and then wait while some old lady unpacked her cart so he could get her spot just to save a step. So his parking habits annoy me in general.

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I prefer to pull into a spot on my left rather than my right, because I feel like I can judge the space better.

I prefer to have no cars on either side if at all possible but if I have no choice, pulling in to the left is even more important.

I prefer to pull through, especially if I'm driving dh's old Suburban.  It's not as big an issue in my Pilot with the back up camera.

I back in if I know I'll be leaving with a lot of other people, like at dd's TKD dojo.

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12 hours ago, Annie G said:

Just like choosing a bathroom stall, I follow the rule: near but not right next to.  I’d park near you but leave a one parking space buffer and hope any other arrivals will do the same until it’s necessary to park right next to another car. 

 

I thought of that thread as soon as I read this one! So many unwritten rules in life. I'm still being a maverick and just walking into the first open stall. 

Add me to the list of people who find it easier to park neatly next to another car. I do think it might be depth perception because I also hit curbs more often than is reasonable, and have trouble with stairs.

5 hours ago, shawthorne44 said:

 Being in an empty theater and having the ONLY other people there sitting right next to you is annoying enough to ruin the movie.  

 

 

That goes past annoying and right into Creepy Town. 

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I just thought of something.  I seem to recall someone saying they do this in case someone decides to drive crazy in an almost empty parking lot.  I guess some people do that.  And if your car is with other cars it's less likely to be hit.  Or something like that.

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10 hours ago, shawthorne44 said:

This is why I deliberately bring something into a movie theater to put on the seats on either side of us.   I'll remove them from the seat when the room gets 1/3 full.  

Being in an empty theater and having the ONLY other people there sitting right next to you is annoying enough to ruin the movie.  

This has happened to us, too.  The entire theater was empty except for me and kiddo.  Mom and her 3 kiddos came in and sat right next to us.  The only thing I can think of is that she thought it would be "safer" to put the kids next to another mom, rather than "risk" a strange man coming in and sitting next to the kids.   

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My regular grocery store and my secondary grocery store have STUPID parking lots. Come to think of it, my Walmart and Target parking lots aren't so great, either.  Still better than the grocery stores'.  Who designs these places that have, like, 3 four-way stops and then 3 more cross sections with zero stop signs?!?
Anyway, I find that I get so annoyed by the maze I have to take to get into a parking aisle that I will take ANY old space, and I always wind up feeling like it's a 10 mile hike to the door.

(That has nothing to do with how other people park, but it's my parking pet peeve.)

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35 minutes ago, Carrie12345 said:

My regular grocery store and my secondary grocery store have STUPID parking lots. Come to think of it, my Walmart and Target parking lots aren't so great, either.  Still better than the grocery stores'.  Who designs these places that have, like, 3 four-way stops and then 3 more cross sections with zero stop signs?!?
Anyway, I find that I get so annoyed by the maze I have to take to get into a parking aisle that I will take ANY old space, and I always wind up feeling like it's a 10 mile hike to the door.

 

Roundabouts are good. Why don't they build roundabouts? 

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2 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Roundabouts are good. Why don't they build roundabouts? 

In parking lots?  Eek!

Funny enough, I come from a state that was full of traffic circles when I got licensed.  They spent years getting rid of them.  Now I live in a state that's constantly adding traffic circles and I feel like I've forgotten how to use them!

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I notice the size of spot kind of dictates what I do. I drive an explorer, which is too big for me to see comfortably over the hood. The parking garage at school has a weird angle to the stripes, it took me about two weeks to get it right. 

If there's only one car, I don't park near it. I generally try to park further away or in a spot where I can pull through. 

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4 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Roundabouts are good. Why don't they build roundabouts? 

Roundabouts make me dizzy, so no roundabouts. I’m extremely sensitive to car sickness even as a driver. I recently discovered this when I dropped my daughter off with a friend who lives in a neighborhood with lots of roundabouts and also windy roads. By the time I left the neighborhood, I was nauseated and had a headache. 

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My husband will always park alongside the existing cars in an otherwise empty car park, I always park where there's loads of space. I think some of it is because I'm the one with the experience of getting kids and shopping into big cars so I appreciate the extra space.  He always drives little cars and hasn't had to deal with getting kids in and out or doing big grocery shopping trips enough that he's realised how much easier life is with more space.

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10 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Even before kids I didn’t like to park besides other cars. I don’t understand why your husband would choose this unless it has to do with proximity to business/bad weather. I have changed my mind about where to park based on shade but usually not by others if I can avoid it. 

I think for him there's an appeal to lining up the cars neatly. He's not fussed about parking in a busy area and being in close proximity to other people.  I've often had to point out he's chosen an awkwardly tight spot in my opinion rather than to park in a less busy area.  I didn't drive before I had kids so I can't say what I would have been like but I probably would have chosen more space as I'm inclined to prefer a bit more personal space in life generally. 

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7 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Roundabouts are awful, at least the ones around me. I feel like it's a disaster waiting to happen. lol. The other day I was parked in front of a building that was inside a roundabout and trying to get out was such a pain. 

 

Huh? Who builds buildings in the middle of a roundabout? That space is for a statue or some kind of ugly, modern art job. ?

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Back where I used to live when I started driving, there was a little shopping center that decided it was going to modernize its parking.  It replaced a good old-fashioned parking lot with a maze of sidewalks / landscaping with a few parking spaces interspersed here and there.  It was so annoying that people quit shopping there.  A few years later, out went the pretty sidewalks and plants.  Waste of money.  Sometimes people just try too hard.

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12 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

The same thing that happens on roads, really. Traffic coming from different directions flows easier.

It works here.

I like roundabouts, but they require a lot more land. In places where land is expensive there just isn’t always ROOM for roundabouts. They squeeze all the right parking spaces they can into some lots. 

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I totally relate! One warm sunny day I took my fast food lunch to a parking lot that had a row of 12 or so parking spaces, all empty, that were mostly shaded. I parked near the end of the row, rolled down my window and started to eat my lunch. Another car came along, and you just know where they chose to park. Yep, right next to me on the drivers side. The driver gets out and the passenger stayed, rolled down her window, and proceeded to light up a cigarette! I had many thoughts about parking psychology in that moment lol. It took me all of 15 seconds to decide to move my car to the other end of the row. 

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I remember the time I had the screaming baby in the car desperate for food.  So, I pulled into an almost entirely empty lot, parked at the very, very bottom of the lot, got the baby out of the car seat and settled in to breastfeed, happy I didn't have to worry about covering up.  It was a big lot, too.  Too big for the few businesses there, so there were about 100 empty spaces.

As you suspect, another car pulled into the lot, parked next to me, and then the person just sat there in the car.  At the point where I'd move Baby from one side to the other, I wasn't sure whether I should worry about covering myself, or just let it all hang out and let her get an eyeful if she wanted to be so close to me in the first place while my baby nursed.

I was pretty stinkin' irritated, because it's not like I could just drive somewhere else with a baby in the middle of eating, and I really had preferred some privacy and had tried to create a private place for myself.

 

Women do this with bathroom stalls, too.  I've gone into theaters where I've counted literally 16 empty stalls, and the one other person who comes in after me will sit right next to me.  It's so gross.  I hate it.

 

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I've had similar things happen when I play tennis, and my opponent and I are the only ones on the courts. Inevitably someone will come and play on the court right beside us, leaving all the other courts empty. Now we have to be careful of the new guy's tennis balls coming onto our court, and vice versa. It's a PITA.

My theory on this is: people are weird and aren't very observant. They probably don't even realise that they are being annoying. ?

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11 hours ago, Garga said:

I remember the time I had the screaming baby in the car desperate for food.  So, I pulled into an almost entirely empty lot, parked at the very, very bottom of the lot, got the baby out of the car seat and settled in to breastfeed, happy I didn't have to worry about covering up.  It was a big lot, too.  Too big for the few businesses there, so there were about 100 empty spaces.

As you suspect, another car pulled into the lot, parked next to me, and then the person just sat there in the car.  At the point where I'd move Baby from one side to the other, I wasn't sure whether I should worry about covering myself, or just let it all hang out and let her get an eyeful if she wanted to be so close to me in the first place while my baby nursed.

I was pretty stinkin' irritated, because it's not like I could just drive somewhere else with a baby in the middle of eating, and I really had preferred some privacy and had tried to create a private place for myself.

 

Women do this with bathroom stalls, too.  I've gone into theaters where I've counted literally 16 empty stalls, and the one other person who comes in after me will sit right next to me.  It's so gross.  I hate it.

 


That happened to me, only I was using a pump.  

 

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This thread has me wondering whether I'm an oaf when it comes to sitting in church.  Unlike many people, I try not to sit on the aisle far away from other people.  My reasoning is that leaving the aisle seat free is kind to the families that inevitably come late to church and want to get to a seat with as little attention as possible.  Now I am wondering if the other people in the pew are thinking, "why is that lady sitting close to me when there is a perfectly good aisle seat open?"

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3 hours ago, SKL said:

This thread has me wondering whether I'm an oaf when it comes to sitting in church.  Unlike many people, I try not to sit on the aisle far away from other people.  My reasoning is that leaving the aisle seat free is kind to the families that inevitably come late to church and want to get to a seat with as little attention as possible.  Now I am wondering if the other people in the pew are thinking, "why is that lady sitting close to me when there is a perfectly good aisle seat open?"

 

You are doing what leadership at our church requests, but I have not seen that actually really happen.  People like the aisle seats.  I figure first come, first serve.

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3 hours ago, SKL said:

This thread has me wondering whether I'm an oaf when it comes to sitting in church.  Unlike many people, I try not to sit on the aisle far away from other people.  My reasoning is that leaving the aisle seat free is kind to the families that inevitably come late to church and want to get to a seat with as little attention as possible.  Now I am wondering if the other people in the pew are thinking, "why is that lady sitting close to me when there is a perfectly good aisle seat open?"

 

There was a man in our church that would sit in the 2 pews in the back that were dedicated to families with babies.  There was a professionally made sign on those pews stating that they were for families with babies.  The church was big enough to hold about 500 people, and there was plenty of space, but he’d sit in those pews.  The church was broken up into 4 sections, there were 3 other sections with backrow pews, but he chose to sit in those particular 2 pews in the very back with the signs that said they were dedicated to families with babies.  And he sat right on the end.  

He used to be my friend (for a number of reasons, such as the above, he no longer is), and I gently joked with him, “Friend, why are you sitting in the row for the babies?  Your kids are teenagers.”  He got huffy with me and said that if families with babies wanted to sit there, they’d better come earlier.  “But it’s hard to get out the door with babies, and they might be late, and then they’ll really need a place in the back to slip into quietly.”  He gave me a “not my problem” shruggy face and continued to sit there.  I pointed out, “But there’s actually a sign saying these are reserved for families with babies.”  “They should get here in time then!”  He then tried to argue with me about the meaning of the sign and that I was misinterpreting it.  (Um...gaslight much?)

I just don’t know what’s wrong with people sometimes.  Parking, bathroom stalls, baby spaces—what’s up with all that??  ?

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When I was at Disneyland I sat on a bench waiting for my boys. Now this bench is by Alice in Wonderland ride and is a very very long space. There was a ton of empty space and these two women with little ones stopped right next to me. The kids kept running up and down the bench, repeatedly bumping into me. I am very tolerant of kids but man this was getting to me cause it's so rude to me that you wouldn't be aware of what was happening. I even told the kids once to scoot down and play. So the I have to grumpily say "there is a whole bench to sit on" or something like that. I dont remember exactly but they basically ran away like I was some kind of ogre. I hate people making me feel like I'm being mean cause I don't want your kid to keep kicking and bumping into me.

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43 minutes ago, Garga said:

 

There was a man in our church that would sit in the 2 pews in the back that were dedicated to families with babies.  There was a professionally made sign on those pews stating that they were for families with babies.  The church was big enough to hold about 500 people, and there was plenty of space, but he’d sit in those pews.  The church was broken up into 4 sections, there were 3 other sections with backrow pews, but he chose to sit in those particular 2 pews in the very back with the signs that said they were dedicated to families with babies.  And he sat right on the end.  

He used to be my friend (for a number of reasons, such as the above, he no longer is), and I gently joked with him, “Friend, why are you sitting in the row for the babies?  Your kids are teenagers.”  He got huffy with me and said that if families with babies wanted to sit there, they’d better come earlier.  “But it’s hard to get out the door with babies, and they might be late, and then they’ll really need a place in the back to slip into quietly.”  He gave me a “not my problem” shruggy face and continued to sit there.  I pointed out, “But there’s actually a sign saying these are reserved for families with babies.”  “They should get here in time then!”  He then tried to argue with me about the meaning of the sign and that I was misinterpreting it.  (Um...gaslight much?)

I just don’t know what’s wrong with people sometimes.  Parking, bathroom stalls, baby spaces—what’s up with all that??  ?

 

That brought back a memory from my confirmation.  The left side of the church first 10-ish rows had been roped off.  There was a label that it was for those being confirmed.  Two women sat in that area because "that was where they always sat".  During the ceremony those being confirmed went up to the front I think by row.   So those poor kids on the aisle with those rude woman had to stumble over their legs.  No, they did not move or stand when it was clear that the entire row had to do to the front.  
I'd gotten a bad concussion right before my scheduled ceremony so I'd had to wait a year.  So, I was a full year's growth taller than everyone else.  There was an adult couple getting confirmed at the same time and some nice person had arranged for me to sit next to them.   So, I was lucky to not have to deal with that.  
 

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That drives me nuts too.  I understand leaving aisle sets available for late people and reserving back rows for people with littles who might need to slip out quickly, but when there are plenty of middle seats empty it grates on my nerves when someone sits down right next to me. Same with being parked next to in a mostly empty parking lot.  I was getting plants at Lowes and parked in a pull through right next to the garden entrance so I could load my Sequoia in the back and drive out forward (larger plants block rear views.) Not another soul was in that section when I parked. When I came out, you guessed it, someone had to park right next to me and another right behind me.  It's so incredibly clueless!

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