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Do you complain when someone will lose their job and they will know who you are?


summerreading
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I'm so grossed out right now. I watched our mailman, who parks in front of my house every day stand on my curb, urinate on his truck and then grab his bag and start delivering mail - starting with my mailbox! I will for sure be spraying that down with Lysol. I am worried about complaining b/c he'll know who I am. Do you avoid complaining when someone will know where you live and might lose their job?

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I avoid complaining when I can understand the circumstances.  Postal carriers are often under time crunches and don't really get breaks.  That might temper my reaction.  And the not washing his hands...I prefer not to imagine the many unwashed hands that touch things I use. ? So I guess my first reaction would be to gently tell the postal worker I saw, and that he is welcome to knock on my door if he ever needs the facilities.  I'd rather have it stop than just someone get in trouble.

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I doubt he would remember where he urinated last. 

I'd let the local post master know what I saw (without giving my address if possible) and asking him to let his delivery staff know that this behavior is unacceptable (and possibly illegal?). It would probably be snarky to suggest that they wash all the mail trucks every night, right? 

Unless this guy has a history of problems with his employer, I doubt he would be fired for this offense.

 

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I really doubt he would lose his job over that, but if you’d rather be more anonymous you could talk to the postmaster and ask that he talk to carriers. You might be a little snarky and say that the least they can do is use hand sanitizer.  But then again, who knows what’s on our mail since it goes through so many hands before it’s dropped in your mailbox. 

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My dh is a mail carrier and he would never do that. Never, never, never! There are a few spots on his route where they are restrooms he can use, such as the one in the office of an apartments complex. A couple of businesses are options too. So unless he has some kind of condition where he doesn't know he has to urinate until the last possible second, then he should know when the next opportunity for him to have access to a restroom is. What he did is ridiculous, unprofessional and down right gross. There is probably a law against public urination. I absolutely would call! There is a long process before he would get fired and it's pretty hard to fire a carrier because of the union backing them so calling would at least result in a reprimand and I doubt seriously he would ever do it again. Call! Truly call! I still can't believe he did that!

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To answer your question generally, I would complain anonymously if someone did something really bad but I didn't want them to know it was me who complained.

Not sure about the mail guy.  It sounds so strange - are there other indications that he may have mental problems?

Our mailman cusses like anything some days.  Loudly.  I don't like it, but I don't complain.  I probably would not complain about urinating if it was a one-time isolated incident.

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We had a horrific experience with a carpet cleaner once. Like, had to call the cops horrific. I never put any reviews online because part of the reason he so scared me was because he spent a good portion of his time working talking about how his wife was trying to track down someone who had left a 1-star review. That was one of many things that led me to believe he was some kind of sociopath. I did tell anyone local who would listen about him, but I can't bring myself to dredge up the drama that will ensue if I post online. Plus, at the time it all went down he obviously knew my address.

He has only 5-star reviews on both google and yelp.

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25 minutes ago, EmseB said:

We had a horrific experience with a carpet cleaner once. Like, had to call the cops horrific. I never put any reviews online because part of the reason he so scared me was because he spent a good portion of his time working talking about how his wife was trying to track down someone who had left a 1-star review. That was one of many things that led me to believe he was some kind of sociopath. I did tell anyone local who would listen about him, but I can't bring myself to dredge up the drama that will ensue if I post online. Plus, at the time it all went down he obviously knew my address.

He has only 5-star reviews on both google and yelp.

 

Whoa! That is scary, I would be worried about writing anything online too.

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I would call the cops on the carpet cleaner, not to get immediate action but to establish a record for the eventual restraining order. It works.

For the postal worker--start with a general complaint and let them know you will get specific in the event of a repeat offense.

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I think technically it is legal in NZ to urinate on one of your back wheels but I can't remember which one (weird old time horse and cart law).  No I wouldn't though.  I would assume a medical issue and advise him that next time he could use my toilet.  Either he would be so embarrassed it wouldn't happen again or his attitude would suggest a complaint may in fact be appropriate.  It is obviously not OK to urinate everywhere but I had to in a church carpark once due to a UTI 

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DH just left a 1 star rating on an Uber driver who didn't just refuse to take DH to the requested destination but actually took him to somewhere DH didn't want to go & then stranded him there. DH got left by the guy in a sketchy neighborhood after dark. Uber refunded the ride from the bad driver and said they were investigating the incident. I hope the guy gets fired because it could've resulted in physical harm to DH.

DH would've been annoyed if the guy had just shown up and then said, "sorry, I'm not going to accept your fare after all" but he wouldn't have bothered to complain to Uber about it. He would've just hailed a different driver. But it's beyond the pale to partway through the ride decide to just leave your passenger somewhere other than the requested destination.

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Well, in my state, what you describe would be enough for a misdemeanor public indecency charge. Three such within a certain time span can result in being placed on the sex offender registry. In my opinion, such an eventuality is an extreme and egregious departure from what such registries are intended for, and I would not willingly place someone on that path by reporting them, either to the police or their employer, for such a trivial thing.

I probably would call him on it to his face, and ask if he at least had some hand sanitizer in his truck, and warn him of the above. If he then opened up a can of jerkface at me, I might report him, but I'd rather warn someone they're being stupid, then narc on them off the bat.

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7 minutes ago, Crimson Wife said:

DH just left a 1 star rating on an Uber driver who didn't just refuse to take DH to the requested destination but actually took him to somewhere DH didn't want to go & then stranded him there. DH got left by the guy in a sketchy neighborhood after dark. Uber refunded the ride from the bad driver and said they were investigating the incident. I hope the guy gets fired because it could've resulted in physical harm to DH.

DH would've been annoyed if the guy had just shown up and then said, "sorry, I'm not going to accept your fare after all" but he wouldn't have bothered to complain to Uber about it. He would've just hailed a different driver. But it's beyond the pale to partway through the ride decide to just leave your passenger somewhere other than the requested destination.

 

That was a gracious way to handle it. He probably could have reported him to the police, and in some places the driver would be prosecuted for kidnapping.

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3 hours ago, kiwik said:

I think technically it is legal in NZ to urinate on one of your back wheels but I can't remember which one (weird old time horse and cart law).  No I wouldn't though.  I would assume a medical issue and advise him that next time he could use my toilet.  Either he would be so embarrassed it wouldn't happen again or his attitude would suggest a complaint may in fact be appropriate.  It is obviously not OK to urinate everywhere but I had to in a church carpark once due to a UTI 

 

If the guy is capable of peeing standing up, he could probably manage to more discreetly pee in a container in his vehicle. So there's that to weigh in considering how reasonable it was. There is almost certainly a strict rule against asking to use the loo at private residences.

I've had to pee in public on a roadside (and recently got to supervise DS doing a # 2 on a roadside ?), but that's usually when it's miles and miles and miles to the next rest area/gas station and there's absolutely no. way. to. hold. it.

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1 minute ago, Ravin said:

That was a gracious way to handle it. He probably could have reported him to the police, and in some places the driver would be prosecuted for kidnapping.

He was able to get another ride to where he actually wanted to go before anything bad happened. The police have enough real crimes to investigate that it didn't warrant complaining to them. Hopefully Uber will terminate the guy's driving privileges because that's the appropriate punishment.

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21 minutes ago, Crimson Wife said:

He was able to get another ride to where he actually wanted to go before anything bad happened. The police have enough real crimes to investigate that it didn't warrant complaining to them. Hopefully Uber will terminate the guy's driving privileges because that's the appropriate punishment.

 

I doubt I'd have called the police either. In that category of "just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

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Omg Crimsonwife ...  that happened to my friend in Seattle a couple of weeks ago. An uber driver picked her up then randomly decided to drop her off just ..."I cant take you all the way there, I'm going to drop you off here" she kept him talking and got him to take her to the airport (which was not her destination) so she could easily get another driver. It was CRAZY and I told her I had never heard such a thing and now here is another one!!!

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On 8/29/2018 at 3:22 PM, Margaret in CO said:

I have gotten a mail carrier fired, and she knows who it was. I commented to her one day that it was odd that all my poultry catalogs came on one day. She explained that she'd taken them home and read them! Hello! You can't do that. I marched into the house and called her supervisor. She was fired that day. I could only wonder how much of our mail hadn't arrived... Urinating mail carrier? I'd call. 

 

This reminds me of the day Harry Potter book 5 came out. I was working at the public library. We had a big box delivered late Friday afternoon so they could be checked in and available for patrons the next day. I was so very very tempted to take one home and read it, a bring it back to work the next day. I am proud to report that I DID NOT do that. I did read one the next day, I had a huge block of time Saturday mornings before we opened. But I DID NOT TAKE IT HOME!

Seems like what your mail carrier was doing would be considered mail theft. No wonder she was fired.

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Does he do anything else strange that screams creep? I'm thinking of embarrassing stories about emergency potty stops (or lack thereof) that I've heard over the years and could manage to think, "this might have been an emergency," but most of me is saying, "This is probably the tip of the iceberg." If he isn't normally doing strange things, and this truly seems like a one-off, I would be kind, but I would be watching to see what other weird stuff is going to happen next.

 

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15 minutes ago, kbutton said:

Does he do anything else strange that screams creep? I'm thinking of embarrassing stories about emergency potty stops (or lack thereof) that I've heard over the years and could manage to think, "this might have been an emergency," but most of me is saying, "This is probably the tip of the iceberg." If he isn't normally doing strange things, and this truly seems like a one-off, I would be kind, but I would be watching to see what other weird stuff is going to happen next.

 

 

A little. He won't return my hellos or speak to us. He sometimes scrolls on his phone outside my house for 30 minutes before delivering mail. Not creepy but not really professional.

Well to update I did call. I took all the advice into consideration and decided in your 30s and 40s maybe it's way past the time to have gentle conversations about where to relief yourself. I should add across the street there is a little no man's land of trees in between two houses that he could have easily parked his truck against and had privacy. He knew he was in full view of anyone on our street. They said they would have a conversation with him as "that's a no-no". He's been here, just not parked in front of my house.

The Uber stories shared are scary!

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21 minutes ago, summerreading said:

He sometimes scrolls on his phone outside my house for 30 minutes before delivering mail.

You must be his break spot, and if he had such an easily available place to take an emergency potty break with some privacy (even if it's still not appropriate for typical use), I think it's very reasonable to have reported him. 

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On 8/29/2018 at 12:22 PM, Margaret in CO said:

I have gotten a mail carrier fired, and she knows who it was. I commented to her one day that it was odd that all my poultry catalogs came on one day. She explained that she'd taken them home and read them! Hello! You can't do that. I marched into the house and called her supervisor. She was fired that day. I could only wonder how much of our mail hadn't arrived... Urinating mail carrier? I'd call. 

You're lucky you got them.   We had a case of a mailman who threw his mail in the bushes. 

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4 hours ago, summerreading said:

 

A little. He won't return my hellos or speak to us. He sometimes scrolls on his phone outside my house for 30 minutes before delivering mail. Not creepy but not really professional.

Well to update I did call. I took all the advice into consideration and decided in your 30s and 40s maybe it's way past the time to have gentle conversations about where to relief yourself. I should add across the street there is a little no man's land of trees in between two houses that he could have easily parked his truck against and had privacy. He knew he was in full view of anyone on our street. They said they would have a conversation with him as "that's a no-no". He's been here, just not parked in front of my house.

The Uber stories shared are scary!

I wear Bluetooth earbuds almost all day when dh is at work and I rarely hear when people call out to me. I’m sure most people can’t even see that I’m wearing them and just think I’m rude. I’m really just listening to music or podcasts. (Our kids are adults- I’m not neglecting them.g)

No excuse for peeing though. 

 

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Yes, I'd call the local postmaster and just give my street name or the general area of town. We're on a rural route, and I often wonder how they handle that issue, but he definitely should be more discreet. I know that our previous career carried his lunch with him and just parked the truck while he ate, so I wonder what he did. There aren't any businesses on that route. Maybe he stopped at a church?

My current carrier is a mess. Makes me miss the one at our previous house.

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