How are your new college freshmen doing?

[TCB]

My dd started classes today. She has been at the college since last Wednesday doing "Welcome Week." I can definitely see the value of being there a few days early. She's been able to find her way around a bit and meet a few people. The college put them into Welcome Groups with an upper classman leading them and meeting with them regularly,  and dd's was really a nice girl. So far so good, other than the spells of loneliness she's experienced. How are your's doing?

[freesia]

I don't know!  He's on a wilderness trek pre-orientation and is completely unplugged. Even though he's been away in the woods this long before (we dropped him off last Monday), we've never brought him to college and been incommunicado.  It's killing me!!!!!!

[TCB]

8 minutes ago, freesia said:

I don't know!  He's on a wilderness trek pre-orientation and is completely unplugged. Even though he's been away in the woods this long before (we dropped him off last Monday), we've never brought him to college and been incommunicado.  It's killing me!!!!!!

That would kill me too! I'm sure he's doing fine but it must be really hard to not be in touch! Sounds like a great experience though!

[GailV]

I dropped dd off last week, and haven't really heard that much since then.  She's pretty steadfast about not posting on social media, and even managed to stay out of most of the group pictures of welcome week being taken on campus so far (probably by accident since she was probably too busy talking to notice anyone trying to take photos).  I'm going to assume no news is good news.

Classes start Wednesday.  First semester auditions are that night. I'm thankful to be far away from any drama about who gets cast in which show.

[teachermom2834]

Dropped ds off on Thursday and he had his first two classes today. He seems happy. He has gotten around campus and he has met some people. He's pretty social. He said he has a sore throat so I told him to go to the health center if he doesn't feel better soon.

Overall he seems to be doing well. He is keeping in touch via text and snapchat. I am worrying. I start getting fairly anxious and then I hear from him and then I relax and I'm totally fine. Until the next time I start worrying. It helps me tremendously just to get a little communication here and there. He just sent me a snapchat of the laundry room so I guess he's figuring that out.

Hmm...I think I answered this question more about  how I am doing instead of how he is doing.  LOL

[freesia]

56 minutes ago, TCB said:

That would kill me too! I'm sure he's doing fine but it must be really hard to not be in touch! Sounds like a great experience though!

Yes, I think it will be a fabulous for him. I keep focusing on that. I have also realized I probably will never get all the details I want about this week. 

[TCB]

1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said:

Hmm...I think I answered this question more about  how I am doing instead of how he is doing.  LOL

I probably should have titled it "How are We Doing!" I feel like I can hardly settle to do anything. I think this is partly denial on my part because I really don't feel like getting on with a routine that does not involve dd being here at home. I'm hoping this will improve over time, but I am giving myself the time to work through it I think. 

[freesia]

36 minutes ago, TCB said:

I probably should have titled it "How are We Doing!" I feel like I can hardly settle to do anything. I think this is partly denial on my part because I really don't feel like getting on with a routine that does not involve dd being here at home. I'm hoping this will improve over time, but I am giving myself the time to work through it I think. 

Yes.  I cannot settle.  I'm hoping next week at the beach will chill me out.  (Well, in between facetiming him FINALLY)

[iamonlyone]

We got our youngest moved in Friday/Saturday, and then she was at freshman retreat Sunday and today. Her classes start tomorrow. She's struggling a little, which means I'm struggling a little! She is the homebody of our three, but she is only an hour away, and that knowledge helps her feel more comfortable. She has enjoyed meeting people, doing fun activities, and loved her choir meet/greet/kick-off tonight.

I wish her roommate situation were better. Roomie is OK, but not fabulous, and there has already been one night of roomie talking to boyfriend on Skype until 12:30 a.m. If it happens again, dd will ask her to move the convo to the hall or the dorm lounge.

[Jen500]

I have two and they are doing fine I think. 

Myself, I'm having worries that the college isn't a good fit for one ds. It was not his first choice school...more like his 4th choice. He has a great attitude though and hopefully he'll find his niche there.

[JeanM]

My older ds will be a sophomore this year, but hasn't gone back yet. I'm mostly posting here to add a safety note. If your dc has a lofted bed, please make sure they have safety rails. My ds's roommate fell out of his lofted bed last year. Luckily he wasn't badly injured, just bruised. This was a big fall because the beds were up over the desks. My ds took action and insisted on the getting the optional safety rails installed on his bed and on his roommate's bed after that.

[KarenNC]

Moved mine in 4 hours away on Saturday. She seems to be settling in, has attended her first aikido club practice, gone to some of the activities available, and is meeting people. She likes her RA and her roommate seems fine. When we got there, she was very excited to see she was in a corner room, which is about 40 or so sf larger than the usual rooms. Classes start tomorrow, which will help give her some structure. There's also a job fair tomorrow for campus and part-time jobs, so keeping fingers crossed she's able to find something on-campus (no car).

[Mbelle]

Moved dd to dorm last Friday.  Her roommate seems really nice and I am so thankful for that.  Not sure about the suite mates in the next room, but it may turn out ok.

Classes started yesterday and so far she likes them. I'm looking forward to hearing everything.  

[dirty ethel rackham]

20 hours ago, TCB said:

I probably should have titled it "How are We Doing!" I feel like I can hardly settle to do anything. I think this is partly denial on my part because I really don't feel like getting on with a routine that does not involve dd being here at home. I'm hoping this will improve over time, but I am giving myself the time to work through it I think. 

I'll start one on Saturday!  We take dd to school on Thursday and will be coming home on Saturday.  I'm so happy for her, but it is killing me.  I'm confident that she will find her tribe ... she always does.  

Ds24 started his grad school activities today with TA orientation and his research departmental orientation next week.  He starts classes next week and will be TA for two labs. 

[GailV]

4 hours ago, JeanM said:

My older ds will be a sophomore this year, but hasn't gone back yet. I'm mostly posting here to add a safety note. If your dc has a lofted bed, please make sure they have safety rails. My ds's roommate fell out of his lofted bed last year. Luckily he wasn't badly injured, just bruised. This was a big fall because the beds were up over the desks. My ds took action and insisted on the getting the optional safety rails installed on his bed and on his roommate's bed after that.

Yikes!  Safety rails are required for lofted beds in dd's dorm.  She was mildly annoyed -- it does make it harder to get the sheets on and off -- but went along with it. 

 

[katilac]

11 minutes ago, GailV said:

Safety rails are required for lofted beds in dd's dorm.  

 

 

4 hours ago, JeanM said:

 My ds took action and insisted on the getting the optional safety rails installed on his bed and on his roommate's bed after that.

 

 

My oldest has her bed lofted to 5 feet and the school doesn't even offer safety rails! We bought our own. 

Youngest moved into the dorms last week and started class yesterday. She's met a ton of people and is doing all the 'week of welcome' stuff. She's local, so we dropped off some forgotten items over the weekend. She was spectacularly uninterested in us taking her to lunch ?

[teachermom2834]

Mine did not want his bed lofted. He had the top bunk at home for many years and is ready to give that up. Lol. Though some of the guys had quite the man cave going under their bed with the fridge, a chair, and gaming setup. 

My ds has now been to all his classes and he thinks the workload might be heavy but he felt pretty good about them. He has been playing pickup basketball at the rec center everyday. I feel good about that because it is exercise and social for him. 

He is starting a job on Thursday. So he seems to be jumping in and getting settled. But I will find some other things to worry about.

[TCB]

22 hours ago, dirty ethel rackham said:

I'll start one on Saturday!  We take dd to school on Thursday and will be coming home on Saturday.  I'm so happy for her, but it is killing me.  I'm confident that she will find her tribe ... she always does.  

Ds24 started his grad school activities today with TA orientation and his research departmental orientation next week.  He starts classes next week and will be TA for two labs. 

It is such a big adjustment for us isn't it! This is my first to go to college and I am missing her so much! She seems to be doing well but so strange without her at home!

[CAJinBE]

We dropped dd off on Sunday with her stuff and bought her a bike. She is on day three of the welcome week and sends a couple texts a day. She is having a good time, but I'm not sure she has gone over to the admin building to do the paperwork she was supposed to do. I'm also not sure if she has made any friends, but she is in a group of 20 with two upperclassmen. Classes don't start until a week from Monday. 

[freesia]

Finally made contact. He got back to the dorm from the wilderness trek last night He looks SO happy. And he's taken a shower, was doing laundry and managed to get up for breakfast --those of you with kids whose executive functioning skills developed late will understand how encouraged I am. We were cut short by his roommate arriving so hopefully that goes well. 

[Momto6inIN]

DS is still living at home and commuting, but since he's taking a full load and also working off-campus 15 hours/week I haven't seen him much. He leaves ~7:30 each day and sometimes makes it home for supper and sometimes doesn't. Most evenings are spent doing schoolwork in his room. Even though he doesn't have classes that early in the morning he likes to use the campus wifi to get homework done and whatnot. After a week of classes he says he feels like he's on top of each class's expectations and it seems doable with his work schedule (which he needs in order to be able to pay for the classes!) He's gone to a few call outs of various campus organizations (free pizza lol) and says he's starting to get to know people that he sees in his various CS classes. All around a good first week I'd say!

I still tear up a bit when we start morning meeting without him, but other than that I'm doing ok too I guess ?

[rbk mama]

DS is so happy, and we're all still feeling thrilled for him, though I tear up now and then.  He's been calling often, just to chat and fill me in on random things (called today to express his disbelief at dropping over $100 for a stack of papers in a plastic bag!).  He is beyond thrilled to be in a place where the purpose is to learn - it still feels like a dream to him.  He was laughing because he keeps getting warned that college is not like high school: there will only be a few exams along the way and then one final.  He was pretty much on his own with one AP test at the end of the year, so those few exams along the way feel like more structure than he's used to.  We never lived in a place where he could take in person college classes, so he is giddy about being able to interact with real professors.

And thanks to this thread I just ordered a bed rail!  DS was glad - he's used to being in a loft, but not without rails.

[Hilltopmom]

Well I’ve gotten a few “couple of words” text responses so it sounds like “all is good”. Hoping to get a conversation some evening once classes start ?

[dirty ethel rackham]

We just returned yesterday from dropping dd off at campus.  We stayed in town to visit with some relatives, but haven't seen dd since Friday when we said our goodbyes.  She was going to be terribly busy with welcome week activities and we wanted her to take full advantage of them.  I didn't mean to burst into tears when I went to give her a hug.  I think I embarrassed her a little because she didn't expect that to be our goodbye ... a very busy place on campus.  But I just couldn't hold back.  She hugged me back and we told each other that we will be fine.  She was smiling and so happy to be there.  That was the last I heard from her. 

This morning, I was feeling pretty sad in church this morning, kind of mad at God for this big empty hole and for the challenges with still face with K.  A memory post had appeared in Facebook with a photo of all 3 of my kids from 12 years ago ... they were so little and so cute.  I lost it.   When we got out of church, dd responded to my texts with an actual conversation about how things have been going (and how tired she is from all the activities, including a 5 hour service project.)  Then, my 24 yo son in grad school actually called me and we had a great conversation.  That call just made my day.  I still can't go in dd's room yet.  If I do, it will be a long cry.  I am so happy for her, but I miss her so.  

[JenneinCA]

My husband is on the way home from dropping off the seventeen year old.  He is officially a transfer student but all those classes were when he was living at home!  His first classes are Thursday.  He says he is doing okay, but he is 3000 miles away!  He ended up with a single which is good and bad.  He can’t have roommate issues, but he can’t have roommate friends either.  

He was the kid most likely to watch baseball games with me.  He didn’t care about the game but he liked sitting in the same room.  I miss him.  It is definitely going to be different.

My daughter is at school in another state too.  She seems to be doing well.  Better than last year.  This time she has a single and is really enjoying not having to deal with a roommate.  

Really really quiet here.

[TCB]

I am so proud of my dd, because despite not necessarily loving being there, she is really going out and trying different things and going to as many of the extra events they put on for the new students as she possibly can. She's also taken some other girls along to things with her. There is a FB page for the parents, and some of the parents have been saying that their kids are staying in their rooms and feeling really lonely. One of the girls was in the dorm next to dd's and dd gave me permission to pass on her number to this girl's mom and then met up with her and has had lunch several times and taken her along to one of the Christian group's activities. And my dd is not an extrovert! She is kind and friendly though, and I am so proud of how she's handling it all!

[iamonlyone]

My dd made a friend! Things seemed to get better (homesick-wise) about last Wednesday. And like TCB I am so proud of our little gal for pushing past the insecurity and homesickness and going to activities and texting people to meet up for meals, etc. Things are smoothing out nicely with the roommate, and—did I mention—dd made a friend! I am so, so thankful she has found that first kindred spirit!

[DawnM]

My son did the summer 6 week program for new Freshman and got a taste for college before Fall.  He also got 7 credits under his belt.  He went back a week ago now and is really enjoying it with everyone on campus and things in full swing.  He says he and his roommate get along but won't be close friends......all good in my book, as long as the RM is not a bad and inconsiderate guy.

 

[katilac]

3 hours ago, DawnM said:

 He says he and his roommate get along but won't be close friends......all good in my book, as long as the RM is not a bad and inconsiderate guy.

 

 

I actually think this can be a better situation than close friends living together. Disagreements can be handled in a more matter-of-fact way, and you aren't spending TOO much time together. 

[rbk mama]

One thing that was an unexpectedly HUGE help for DS was a pre-orientation overnight retreat with a Christian group on campus.  Not only did he get to move in a day early (super peaceful, parking right next to his building, tons of time), but he also made some great friends right away.  He has been eating, exploring, and having fun with kids from that night every day since.  I know there was a similar option for Jewish students.  There may have been other groups doing this, too.  We found out about it from contacts familiar with the campus - I don't think we would have known about it otherwise.  Its definitely something I will be looking into for our next kids.

[KarenNC]

14 minutes ago, rbk mama said:

One thing that was an unexpectedly HUGE help for DS was a pre-orientation overnight retreat with a Christian group on campus.  Not only did he get to move in a day early (super peaceful, parking right next to his building, tons of time), but he also made some great friends right away.  He has been eating, exploring, and having fun with kids from that night every day since.  I know there was a similar option for Jewish students.  There may have been other groups doing this, too.  We found out about it from contacts familiar with the campus - I don't think we would have known about it otherwise.  Its definitely something I will be looking into for our next kids.

It really helped my daughter that she had spent a week on campus last year as part of a creative writing camp, even in the same dorm she lives in now. She also had the option to attend a two-day orientation earlier this summer where she made a friend she was able to connect with after move-in. I met two of my best friends in college (who later became my roommates sophomore year and after) at a freshman retreat before move-in.

Sometimes honors colleges or specific living-learning communities have early move-in and/or retreats, and I've seen some listed for first-generation students as well. There's usually a fee involved, but may be worth it depending on your student's circumstances. It would be worth asking your admissions rep if there are any such opportunities when investigating colleges.

[Liza Q]

He's living home and commuting (only 20m by bus) so it's not too tragic for me. He took a summer class (Pre-Calc) and got an A+ (he just missed placing in to Calculus and the class was all review) so he is feeling pretty confident!

Today was his first day of the semester and he's already called me twice - once to see if his Chem textbook came in the mail (it hasn't but should be delivered before 8pm) and once to see if I had read the "woke" book he was assigned for English (I haven't). He already knows a few kids in Chem and English and he is currently on his way to the gym.

[katilac]

4 hours ago, rbk mama said:

One thing that was an unexpectedly HUGE help for DS was a pre-orientation overnight retreat  

 

 

3 hours ago, KarenNC said:

It really helped my daughter that she had spent a week on campus last year as part of a creative writing camp, even in the same dorm she lives in now. 

 

 

Even though my dd had been DE at her current university for two years, she loved that they offered a three-day camp for incoming freshman. It wasn't on campus, but she was very happy to meet other incoming freshmen in a fun atmosphere and learn more about the school in the context of being a full-time student. 

We got her to come home for a day (because CATS) but she was itching to go back, lol. 

 

[ThisIsTheDay]

Ds is a junior, but it's his first year away from home as he graduated from CC before heading off to school.

He misses us, texts and calls constantly. He's always been my homesick kid, but he's done a marvelous adjustment. He is enjoying his roommates (apartment mates, really, they have a 4 bed/4 bath arrangement set up by a private company that is run like college housing). He changed two of his five classes after school started, and he's been (appropriately!) bold about approaching professors. He had one tell him how much he appreciated ds's initiative in completing an assignment (for a class he switched into), and he's had another tell him already that he's enjoying having him in class. It makes me really proud. CC was a great option for my ds, and it's made this transition really a breeze.

He's a couple of hours away, in the same city as my dd, and they are coming home tonight for the weekend. It still seems weird to me, "My kids are coming home." I'm not really used to them both being gone yet!!

[Junie]

Ds18 is doing well.  He messaged me last night regarding research paper documentation.  He said that the paper hadn't officially been assigned yet, but he wanted to start working on it because it is due next Friday.  He said that he is ahead in some of his courses and I think he wants to stay that way.  I am a proud mama.  :)

[CAJinBE]

Classes finally start Monday after two weeks of orientation. I'm still getting texts about immigration and financial paperwork questions. This is her first time really managing her own bank account in an international environment, or anything at all really except spending money using her bank card. A lot of learning has gone on even without classes starting yet. There was no call asking to come home for a visit this weekend so I think everything is going to be okay. The washing machines in her dorm use the contactless type of bank card. Pretty cool since there will be no hunting around for coins, but her card was the old style chip card and we had to order a new one. I didn't anticipate that one. 

[freesia]

Ds continues to do well. He enjoyed most of his classes (complained they ran out of time discussing the Iliad--when he read it in high school he hated the discussion part of the class). He has friends( I know I said this up thread. It it continues to thrill me that he has a group he hangs out with so quickly-recovering from a toxic long term friend was rough last year and he was very hesitant to make new friends.  

He's texted me about stain removal and he lost his wallet. He managed to handle looking for it and cancelling his debit card and still went out to a drive in movie. He's also handled finding out an assignment was due that he didn't know about.  So I feel good that he's already weathered some of the bumps. He's always had some anxiety and was awesome at drawing me into the drama of every hiccup. This has been so good for us to have space with me available by text for encourage the and advice, but with him having to shoulder the action and handling the anxiety himself. He's doing great. 

[CAJinBE]

47 minutes ago, freesia said:

Ds continues to do well. He enjoyed most of his classes (complained they ran out of time discussing the Iliad--when he read it in high school he hated the discussion part of the class). He has friends( I know I said this up thread. It it continues to thrill me that he has a group he hangs out with so quickly-recovering from a toxic long term friend was rough last year and he was very hesitant to make new friends.  

He's texted me about stain removal and he lost his wallet. He managed to handle looking for it and cancelling his debit card and still went out to a drive in movie. He's also handled finding out an assignment was due that he didn't know about.  So I feel good that he's already weathered some of the bumps. He's always had some anxiety and was awesome at drawing me into the drama of every hiccup. This has been so good for us to have space with me available by text for encourage the and advice, but with him having to shoulder the action and handling the anxiety himself. He's doing great. 

I feel the same way! I like the encouraging from afar part. Got a text this morning asking about whether to buy liquid laundry soap or pods. Fun Saturday morning doing laundry I guess. I think I will miss these texts when she gets it all figured out.

[Junie]

I messaged ds18 last night to teach him how to use the pods I bought him.  (We use liquid at home.)  He told me that he had figured it out and had already done several loads of laundry.

OK, then.  :)

I will say that he will have an easier time doing laundry at college than I did.  He has washers and dryers available on his hall.  I had to trek down several flights of stairs and to another building on campus.  ?

[Chris in VA]

Dd is having a good time so far. She's called a couple of times--one long call last week, and a 2 minute call this week (she got into the symphony orchestra!). Earlier this week, we had a text fest as she needed some things from home but didn't tell me where they were...so we texted back and forth for about 30 minutes as I gathered things from hither and yon! lol She got the package I sent in one day! Yeah, she's only 2 hours away, but still, that was faster than we thought. And she wanted her bible. She'd left home without it (intentionally) but when I suggested it, she said yes, send it. That made me feel better, tbh. 

I asked her a few minutes ago if she has time to talk, but not right now...maybe later. I'd kinda like a weekly phone call, but that may be too much. 

 

 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

He moved in today. 

[teachermom2834]

Visited my ds this weekend. He had a 4 day weekend and I really didn’t like the thought of him alone on a big nearly empty campus so soon after moving in. He couldn’t come home because he had to work at the football game on Saturday.

It was a good visit. He is doing well and seems really relaxed and settled into his surroundings. He is having a bit of roommate trouble. Basically his roommate is depending on ds to hang out with him all the time and expects ds to keep him informed of all his plans. Ds is friendly and does do some things with roommate but they really don’t have much in common and ds doesn’t want to be responsible for his roommate’s social life. So that is something he is working through.

Ds is eight hours away and it was good for me to make the drive and see it is an easy drive and totally doable for a weekend visit.

He had his first day of work in football operations on Saturday and that worked really well for him. He loves football so he liked being involved with that and being part of the big game day operations while getting paid. 

I will still worry some, of course, but he really seems good. 

[dirty ethel rackham]

It's been 9 days since we last saw dd.  She has Snapchatted with me a few times and we had a 90 minute Skype session.  She has been busy, but has met a lot of people in her dorm/learning community. I was a little concerned about her this weekend, but she filled up her days.  A MLB baseball game, a dance marathon, working out, made dinner at her cousin's off campus apartment, and lots of homework.  I had been snapchatting with ds24, mostly sending videos of our dog, but he hadn't been responding.  We Skyped tonight and he seems to be adjusting well.  He was most worried about being a TA, but the university did a good job in helping them get ready, including assigning the new TAs to labs later in the week so he could sit in on a lab with a more experienced TA.  He is eating decently.  He is a little bummed that his roommates will not be sharing cooking/food, but they all have very different schedules.  He kind of missed that with his previous roommates (especially having the friend who loved to cook.) 

[iamonlyone]

We got to have our girl home for the long weekend! She is busy with schoolwork, but it has been fun brainstorming ideas for an art project—reminiscent to homeschooling. ❤️

[KarenNC]

1 hour ago, iamonlyone said:

We got to have our girl home for the long weekend! She is busy with schoolwork, but it has been fun brainstorming ideas for an art project—reminiscent to homeschooling. ❤️

Yep, we brought ours home as well and it's been great. We did do some work together as well in thinking about what to consider for next semester's schedule, as she will have her planning meeting with her advisor before she comes home again in late September. She's already had a "get to know you" meeting with him last week, which went well.

[CAJinBE]

Well dd18 came home for the weekend and turned into dd19. We had a cake and took her shopping for volleyball shoes. Dh made homemade chicken soup because she has a cold. She said she missed homemade soup and didn't want to miss out on her birthday cake. Most of the time she was working on two papers due Sunday at midnight. One was a group project and no one in the group was doing anything so I think she ended up doing most of it herself. We all hate group projects, but they seem to be a necessary part of university. It was good to see her even though we couldn't do as much together as we hoped. She made it back safely Sunday night to her room. 

[katilac]

9 hours ago, CAJinBE said:

One was a group project and no one in the group was doing anything so I think she ended up doing most of it herself. We all hate group projects, but they seem to be a necessary part of university. 

1

 

Yes, it is necessary to prepare them for all the times they will inevitably be doing most of the work on their company team.