stephanie Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I didn't quite know how to post the title with tact, but I am looking for a good book for my ds12 with a christian perspective that can help answer some of his questions regarding puberty. He is an open book when it comes to things like that, and has been asking dh a lot of questions lately. He always starts with telling us that it's kinda embarrassing, but he wants to know..... . So I was hoping to provide him with a book that is accurate with a christian perspective. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in Central TX Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 In a house full of boys, Dad has the lead in this area of interest. At the appropriate age, my DH has been reading this series with each son: http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=060130 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanie Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 In a house full of boys, Dad has the lead in this area of interest. At the appropriate age, my DH has been reading this series with each son: http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=060130 That look good. Does it cover the changes in the body in regards to puberty? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 There is a series that Rainbow Resource sells entitled, God's Design for S*x. They advocate starting discussions earlier than what we did in our family, but I would think that Book 3 would be about what you would want. Its title is What's the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex. Some sample chapter titles are: Why Do People Do That (addresses the issue of why people have s*x if they are not trying to have a baby), Sex Outside of Marriage, What Does God Really Say About It?, The Changes of Puberty, What is AIDS?, etc. It is written in a dialogue format between family members with both the mom and the dad answering the questions of a son and a daughter. Now, if I could just get my husband to read it to my ds, I'd be all set! LOL! HTH. Cynthia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in Central TX Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Yes, Book 3 has a chapter on the Changes of Puberty, and Book 4 gets much more detailed. AHHHH...are we really there already? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy in ME Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 As the mother of 4 boys, I will be watching this post. The oldest is 11 and I have been giving this some thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 There is a book out there called "Preparing Your Son For Every Man's Battle." The first half of the book is written for fathers. The second half is written for the sons and fathers to read together. You can photocopy a chapter at a time. Dad and son read them simultaneously and then discuss/answer questions afterwards. It worked wonderfully well for us. Very thorough, but gentle, and having the book present the material made it much easier for Dad, I think. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 In a house full of boys, Dad has the lead in this area of interest. At the appropriate age, my DH has been reading this series with each son: http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=060130 My son is 10, and finally questioning where people come from, how babies are made, and all that. My 10dd got there long before...:rolleyes: We can tell him the same way as my dd, but he gets more embarrassed, so a book like this might be a good way to go. I can see using books 3 & 4 with him, and having his questions answered. BUT.....(now I'm getting the courage to ask my question), have any of you discussed nighttime, um, you-know-what with your son? I just don't want him waking up surprised one morning (ewww). What age does that start, anyway? Colleen? Ria? Amy? Moms of lots of boys? Sorry, but most all my friends have girls, or boys who are too young for this!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in Central TX Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 Book 4 in the series I linked discusses "that" issue; the book is written for ages 11-14, so I'm assuming that's the age range it will show up in. I've really left this area of "talk" between father and son, and there are some things I just don't need/want to know. I'm open to my boys though, and they can ask me anything they want. I'm not guaranteeing an immediate answer, but I'm not opposed to having a discussion with them. However, I've decided not to initiate any conversation on this topic. I think that's their Dad's role, and I don't want them to feel embarrassed at all about it. That's how we're handling this for DS#1; our plans are subject to change for all subsequent sons though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 Yes, Book 3 has a chapter on the Changes of Puberty, and Book 4 gets much more detailed. AHHHH...are we really there already? Four books? All I got for this was a 30 page or so booklet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in Central TX Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 It's a progressive series that starts with a very gentle book around age 5, and the books progress in detail to age 14. I like this approach because my boys aren't totally in the dark about what's going on, but they also aren't overloaded with too much detailed information at too young of an age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy in ME Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 Beth, Thanks for the reccomendation. We we have a look at these books because, as much as I hate to admit it, we are fast approching that age. I will provide books to read but I will also give the discussions to dh. The boys will need btdt advice from him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susie in tx Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 There is a series that Rainbow Resource sells entitled, God's Design for S*x. They advocate starting discussions earlier than what we did in our family, but I would think that Book 3 would be about what you would want. I just read this book last night. I think it's a great book for discussion about puberty, body changes, etc. However, it assumes that the child already knows what sex is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in GA Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 used with us. (Subtitle is "The Story of Sex for Children".) I think it's out of print; Amazon has some "third-party" copies available. I remember my mom reading this with me, and the way everything was presented made me really want to stay pure in order to preserve this special gift for the time when I would be married. If I remember correctly, one half is for girls and other for boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Testimony Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 This is so neat that you posted this question because when I was in my local Christian Bookstore the other day, I saw this book and I told my husband about it. It is very good. I think this is the one where you go away with your child and it explains in very good details about sex, but all from a biblical perspective. I have a girlfriend who did it with her daughter and then her husband did it with her son. She said to me she took her daughter away, but it was a surprise. She planned a place them to go, then one day just sprung it on her that they were going to a secret place. It was a hotel of course. They spent the whole weekend together. My understanding is that there is a whole lesson plan and instructions as to how to do this special weekend. My girlfriend told me that her husband did the same thing with his son. It is very thorough. I told someone from church about it. She was very impressed with the lessons because it gave good details and biblical references. She is a nurse and thought this about the program. Try this site:http://resources.family.org/p2p/searchResults.do?method=view&search=basic&keyword=preparing+for+adolescence&sortby=shortdesc&asc=true&page=1 I think this is the one. Blessings, Karen http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy in NC Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 When my oldest son turned 12 my husband took him away for the weekend with Dennis Rainey's Passport 2 Purity CD and book guide. The book and CD takes you through the whole weekend. He has it all mapped out for you. They recommend you buy your child a gift that has a lot of meaning (my husband got my son a pair of binoculars-something he has been wanting). They also recommend you do something really fun (they went jet skiing). Then on the last night they recommend you go out for a nice dinner. Throughout the weekend you listen to a CD that takes you through the basics of puberty, how babies are made, etc. My son had a blast. My other three kids are making plans, now, for when they turn 12. Here's a link to the bookstore on their website: Family Life Today. I hope this helps :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 Book 4 in the series I linked discusses "that" issue; the book is written for ages 11-14, so I'm assuming that's the age range it will show up in. I've really left this area of "talk" between father and son, and there are some things I just don't need/want to know. I'm open to my boys though, and they can ask me anything they want. I'm not guaranteeing an immediate answer, but I'm not opposed to having a discussion with them. However, I've decided not to initiate any conversation on this topic. I think that's their Dad's role, and I don't want them to feel embarrassed at all about it. That's how we're handling this for DS#1; our plans are subject to change for all subsequent sons though... Thanks, Beth. I've ordered book 3 & 4, and my dh said last night that he definitely wants to handle this part with my ds. I don't mind instructing in the ways of birds and bees, but the boy-only issues I really don't feel qualified to discuss! Nor do I particularly want to...:o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to 3 Island Boys Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I wasn't the one that asked... but thanks for all of the suggestions! I guess I have to start thinking about this and not go with my back-up plan of not letting them out of the house until I explain all of this... around age 19... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I still like mine best! It's the "Learning about S*x" series from Concordia Publishing House. This series has appropriate books for ages: 3-5 5-8 8-11 11-14 Teen to adult Adult It also has a book for parents, entitled "How to Speak Confidently to Your Children About S*x." Each book is Biblically conservative, warm, positive, and accurate. I use them about a year behind age--so, for instance, DD and I studied the 8-11 book when she was 9. We will probably cover the 11-14 book later this year (she turns 12 in July). These books are suitable for both boys and girls, and I think that it is a good idea for both boys and girls to know about the functions and changes in both genders so I do cover both. I hope that someday DD will marry someone who knows the basics about girls as well as boys! I also like the book "My Body is Private". This is secular, but very very good. It teaches about s**ual abuse resistance in an enpowering way. Although it is written with a girl as the protagonist, I would use it with a boy as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2boys Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 One tip I was recently given was to teach my son to wash his own sheets. So, when he does have "those nighttime issues" he doesn't have to ask me to wash his sheets, which would be embarrassing. So, he is learning right now, and soon will have full responsibility for washing his own sheets, at least once a week, or more often if needed, no questions asked. He is only ten. I am hoping he won't have those issues for awhile. :eek: Just wanted to start this habit now, in the hopes it won't be a big embarrassing deal later. Anyone have any other tips? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 ...(at least, the book we have is "Almost Twelve"; I'm not sure about the author, I guess it's possible that there are two books with the same title), and we got it from Sonlight. (I think it's part of Core 5). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 One tip I was recently given was to teach my son to wash his own sheets. So, when he does have "those nighttime issues" he doesn't have to ask me to wash his sheets, which would be embarrassing. And I know it needs addressed soon, right? My son is 10, and although I don't think he's had any of those "nighttime issues" (he'd have told me), I sure don't want it to happen and he not have any idea what it is. He's a hypochondriac, so I know he'd freak out! :eek: I like the idea of getting him to wash his sheets regularly. He already knows how, because he had some bedwetting issues, but I'm the one who currently does all laundry. It would be embarrassing for him to suddenly need to wash his own sheets--talk about a red flag! Anyway, I've told my dh that I have no problems explaining the birds & bees, but I really have no experience in that other thing, and he simply must be the one who talks to ds about it!:rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtmviolet Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Thank you for your recommendation. It was a little awkward mentioning the "v"-word with my 5 and 7 year old boys ("vagina" is in the books for that age range ... with all boys, the organ had never really come up in conversation before), but dare I say that it has been great fun going through the later books with my 9 and 11 year old? My husband is great about talking with them about particulars, but I felt that we needed to go through something in an organized manner; to cover all the bases, so-to-speak. The series has provided a great starting ground of both the physical aspects of sex and the spiritual aspects of sex (from a Christian perspective). And I'll treasure the reactions to many of the explanations .. "You're kidding us, right? Because, that's, uh, gross." p.s. for those who haven't seen the series, it is for both boys and girls (I have just boys though) p.p.s.: an aside; a conversation in the bathroom between my then 4 year old boy and his then 3 year old female cousin who has an older brother: him, shocked: "Where's your ding-dong?" [forgive us, it is a silly name] her, nonplussed: "I don't have one. Girls don't have ding-dongs." him, to me, with grave concern: "Mommy, she doesn't have a ding-dong! How does she pee?" It's a progressive series that starts with a very gentle book around age 5, and the books progress in detail to age 14. I like this approach because my boys aren't totally in the dark about what's going on, but they also aren't overloaded with too much detailed information at too young of an age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtmviolet Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I have been reading through the "Preparing Your Son For Every Man's Battle" book in the series, in preparation for me or my husband going through it with our oldest son after we finish the "God's Design for Sex" series, and I just wanted to say that I have been pleased with it so far (I wanted to comment on it while I was thinking about it). I look at it as a conversation-starter in preparing our sons. I don't think I really had an inkling of the difficulty that men have with lust until after I was married and had some wonderfully frank conversations with my husband. I encourage everyone to have these conversations with your children *before* puberty. For me, the books help guide our conversations. There is a book out there called "Preparing Your Son For Every Man's Battle." The first half of the book is written for fathers. The second half is written for the sons and fathers to read together. You can photocopy a chapter at a time. Dad and son read them simultaneously and then discuss/answer questions afterwards. It worked wonderfully well for us. Very thorough, but gentle, and having the book present the material made it much easier for Dad, I think. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 This very discussion came up in my household last week. We have had "the talk" with ds10. Okay dh did that one, using book 2 of the God's Design series. It was in depth enough for the basics. Sounds like book 3 needs to be on our list, thanks for all the tips. I appreciate this candid discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadiegirl Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 We had a situation occur about a month ago with my 10 year old. We were away on a family activity and my son came and woke me up EARLY saying he had wet his bed. I grabbed him some clean shorts out of his suitcase and he jumped into our bed as my husband was gone turkey hunting. When I woke up that morning, I checked his bed and then his "wet" shorts where I discovered that neither were wet! I guess this should have given me a clue. Then this week, my other son came and told me he had a bump on his private area and he wanted me to check for ticks. I was surprised...his peach fuzz had turned to black hair(he's 12 1/2) Neither of my boys ask anything and my question is this...do you wait until they ask or do you jump off the diving board without being pushed? I don't want them to be told by others the wrong way but I want them to be ready! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in CA Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 ...(at least, the book we have is "Almost Twelve"; I'm not sure about the author, I guess it's possible that there are two books with the same title), and we got it from Sonlight. (I think it's part of Core 5). Sonlight sells this in their Science 5 package. They sell the book with original content, and do not recommend the current version being sold by the publisher. I have the God's Design Facing the Facts book (11-14 year olds) and to be honest I couldn't bring myself to read it with any of my boys. The presentation was a little over the top for me. Yikes! :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pensguys Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Neither of my boys ask anything and my question is this...do you wait until they ask or do you jump off the diving board without being pushed? I don't want them to be told by others the wrong way but I want them to be ready! THIS is what I want to know too! Mine don't ask either! and I'm not so sure I can get dh to talk to ds. I've already told him that HE has to do it though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pensguys Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Okay, ya'll...I'd like to use the God's Design series BUT....My dh is NOT going to read this "play" type thing with my boys. He just isn't! What else is Christian that will give ds the details he needs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtmviolet Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 <snip> Neither of my boys ask anything and my question is this...do you wait until they ask or do you jump off the diving board without being pushed? I don't want them to be told by others the wrong way but I want them to be ready! I would like to encourage you ladies who are embarrassed about having these discussions with your boys to consider trying it, especially if your boys are prepubescent. I want to be clear that I'm not addressing any of you who have a personal conviction that this is a topic for dad, and dad alone; you need to go with your convictions. But it seems that most of the hesitation is due to embarrassment, and that's the group I would like to encourage. My husband is quite willing to have these types of conversations with the boys, but the conversations tend to be ad hoc instead of systematic. Since I am used to teaching my boys with a text or reading through a book with them, the systematic approach works very well for me. I was a little embarrassed (and I do occasionally blush at their questions), but I have approached it as a topic that should be openly discussed (with consideration for age appropriateness, of course). Sort of a combination science course and Bible course. I have to say, that I have really enjoyed our conversations and hope that they will continue to feel as comfortable as possible talking about these topics with either my husband or me. I do give them a couple of guidelines about questions. I follow the lead of the God's Design series (book 3) and won't answer specific personal questions about our sex life, but I do try to broaden the question and answer it in general. I also try to be candid in telling them that they can ask me anything, but I am, after all, a female, and there will be questions that I can't relate to and that they should specifically ask their dad about. And if we had girls, I would expect the reverse to be true as well. Specifically in response to your question, I think that you (or dh) needs to initiate these conversations; don't wait for your child to approach you! If you're embarrassed, think how they feel. :blushing: So, if it's just embarrassment holding you back, consider taking the plunge. I, for one, have been very glad that I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.