Scheduling sappers

[domestic_engineer]

How do schedule your kid that most saps you of your patience and energy?  (Assume more than one child in the family, please.). Do you teach them all in one setting or interspersed throughout the day?  Do you teach them first thing in the day or the last kid of the day?

[PeterPan]

I would look at how they do with transitions and whether it's more comfortable for them to work without transitions (one long block with you) or whether the breaks are helpful to them and calming, even valuable for creating check-in points for compliance. My ds (ASD2) is pretty challenging, and he needs a total amount of time per day with me that is pretty high AND check-in points. Once he has the total time, he can have more space. He does ok with breaks and going back and forth from his thing to mine. My dd, on the other hand, your real straight ADHD-inattentive, did NOT do well with transitions, so once we started to work we worked. For both of my kids, start time is the structure that helps them function well. Like for my dd, she needed about 1 1/2 hours to herself to become human. My ds needs time for his vitamins to all be dosed and kicked in before he's ready to be worked with. 

I think that would be hard to wake up every morning to a super hard child knowing you have a bunch more to work with. After my ds, I need a BREAK. Like a total, leave me alone BREAK. So you also have to plan that in for yourself, just to keep it real and safe. Like if you have 5 kids and you get 1-2 done while your challenging one works on their morning routine that gets them in a good place, then work with the challenging one and go directly to lunch and an hour of peace, then you'll be good to go for round 2. Everyone needs mental health support. 

How do the others feel about working around him or seeing what happens? Do they find it stressful or need a break or space? That can also be a factor. Like if it's stressful for them to be around, then doing a couple first and shipping them off to their independent work in other places can give you some space to work with the challenging one in more privacy. 

[Seeking Squirrels]

Following along to see if anyone has some suggestions. What I've been trying is to alternate. Spend time with her one on one, then give her something I know she can handle independently so I can give attention to my 6yo. My 6yo doesn't end up getting 100% of my attention, guaranteed we will be interrupted, but it's as close as we can get. Then I go back to 10yo while 6yo works on something near us. I'm trying alternating because 1. It gives my patience and energy a chance to reset a little with the break from 10yo. 2. It lets 6yo know I will be giving her attention soon. 3. It prevents the whole day being sapped away before I ever get to my 6yo. 4. It is (hopefully) slowly teaching 10yo a bit of independence without requiring a long stretch of it at once. And keeps her from getting into trouble like she would if I spent a large block of time with 6yo. 

 

[MinivanMom]

I have my high-needs kid practice piano first thing in the morning (the one thing he does happily and completely independently). While he's practicing, I use that hour to work one-on-one with my littlest guy while also getting my older kids started on math.

When high-needs kid comes to the table, I send the littlest off to play so that I'm only working with one of them at a time. The older kids are in middle school so they will work pretty independently while I give my high-needs kid my attention for his seatwork (math, writing, French). Then I give high-needs kid a break for the rest of the morning. Then after lunch, I read aloud to him and the littlest for 30-45 min. My energy is completely sapped at that point, but everyone's in the habit of silent reading after lunch. So I can send everyone off to read silently for an hour in their rooms while I get some quiet time (though high-needs kid needs me to check in on him and make sure he hasn't gotten distracted). I check over the older kids' work later in the afternoon before we head out to activities. 

Mostly this routine is working well for us at this point.

[LMD]

I tend to do subject blocks and rotate through my children from youngest student to oldest. The older ones have independent work assigned until their turn.

We do morning time all together. I intersperse the high intensity teaching stuff, and the 8 year old gets to run off and play after a while, but with 4 kids I'm pretty much on all day...

[BlsdMama]

22 hours ago, domestic_engineer said:

How do schedule your kid that most saps you of your patience and energy?  (Assume more than one child in the family, please.). Do you teach them all in one setting or interspersed throughout the day?  Do you teach them first thing in the day or the last kid of the day?

Interspersed - energy suckers are normally very high energy and sitting still for long periods is not their giftedness, kwim?  Break up seat work with physical activity.

Group first but as you move on to one on one, you would probably find that if you pour into them first, you'll get the best result.  Never, ever last.  The attention span is totally shot by then.

[BetterthanIdeserve]

It seems our schedule looks a bit different each year. I used to always start with math first, because my oldest could do math so much faster if she did it first thing in the morning. We would take a mid-morning break and then I would do Morning Time...sometimes. If we started late or someone needed more time or energy than I had (or my daughter didn't want to break until she was finished with a subject), we would skip Morning Time. I was having so many issues with my "high needs" child that  it got to where Morning Time rarely happened. Yet the kids were asking for it, and my high needs kid said he would have a better attitude if he could start with history, his favorite subject. So, we now start with Morning Time, and we get to our read-alouds! There is definitely more delight in our day. I just make sure to keep the dog kenneled so that he is not a distraction and my boys have something to do with their hands. My oldest doesn't need to start with math any longer, and my high needs kid can go do whatever he wants for school for the first hour. He does have a much better attitude.  I used to have my youngest start independent work as well, but then there were too many demands on my attention during the last half of the morning, and we were all frustrated. I now spend the first hour after Morning Time with my youngest, but sometimes that is a bit too long for him.  As soon as we're done, the younger two and I take a morning break of about 20 minutes. Sometimes they get a 10 minute break to themselves, and then we go for a two mile walk. After that I work with my my high needs kiddo. If we had not gone for a morning walk yet, I almost always end up taking him out for a walk just the two of us, because he gets frustrated easily and then his brain shuts down. The exercise makes a big difference (I find I need it as much as he does). I work with him off and on for an hour. Usually by then, we're getting close to lunch time. I check in with my 13yo,  and then we take lunch and recess. I'm learning I must take a true break, not just a break from school, but a break from chores as well. My introverted self is much more patient if I have taken at least 20 minutes to myself. After we've taken 40-60 minutes for lunch we get back to school. My 8yo has usually gotten distracted while I worked with my 10yo, so I keep an eye on him while he finishes school. My 10yo is usually done or has less than 30 minutes to do after lunch. It seems that they both need another one-on-one of 15-20 minutes after lunch. After they are done, I usually spend some time with my 13yo. 

I like most of the curriculum that we are using, but a lot of it is teacher-intensive. I am seriously considering dropping Rod & Staff English for my high needs kiddo, and finding something that has a lot more examples built in the student's book, so that he can do English on his own. I think I will make even more changes next year for him.

[displace]

I need to outsource some things.  I use virtual school for some easy subjects.  I work best in the mornings, and so does DS, so we have to do the difficult subjects first.  No electronics during breaks (sometimes I allow game play on breaks but it’s always a mistake).  Some PE during breaks (us playing indoor badminton or catch).  Daily social skills or character work- reading a story about morals, watching social skills videos on how to act, curriculum on behavior, etc.  I want to fold in meditation or yoga during breaks daily too but we’re not there yet.  

Daily audiobooks and sometimes documentaries without discussion with me at the moment.  

[MamaHill]

On 8/10/2018 at 10:29 AM, BlsdMama said:

Interspersed - energy suckers are normally very high energy and sitting still for long periods is not their giftedness, kwim?  Break up seat work with physical activity.
 

YES, I have found this to be true as well.  I have 2 children that are intense energy suckers and it has taken me a long time to figure out how to manage.  In fact, my oldest was only homeschooled through 6th grade (now going into 8th) because I didn't understand how he worked.  He needed frequent breaks with a LOT of mandatory physical activity.  A LOT.  There were also other things there - attention issues, poor executive function skills, etc.  I wish I had known then what I know now.  But I didn't know to break up seat work with physical activity.

But now I know better in how to manage the day of my other intense kiddo.  She jumps on the trampoline, rides her scooter, etc right after our Bible/memory work in the morning. Then she starts her independent work after we go over it. I'm at elbow with my 2nd grader during this time who isn't independent at all yet.  And running behind the 18 mo Room Destroyer.

2nd grader takes a break mid-morning and I squeeze in Latin recitation and any Latin help needed with this child.  Then she goes back to independent work.

I finish with 2nd grader and by now it's lunch.

We eat, I put the toddler down for nap, kiddos go outside again for 15-20 minutes.  Then we do our afternoon class time,which she participates in: writing class and then either Greek Myths or science.  After that is her math lesson.

I don't like doing her math at the end of the day, but I don't have anywhere else to sneak it in.  I have a lot of kiddos that need all of my attention.

This is what's working for us right now.  It's all subject to change tomorrow. ?

Hugs to you.  It's exhausting.