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Hilltopmom

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2 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

Daria, you are spot on about that but unfortunately he is not willing to explore a diagnosis, or even discuss it.

if first semester doesn’t go well and he returns home, a condition of staying here will be exploring a diagnosis, counseling, etc. I think.

I'm sorry to hear that.  Ideally he should have been diagnosed while still in high school.  My ds was diagnosed with ASD when he was 16 and it has made a big difference in him understanding himself and also in being able to navigate college. 

What you described sounds much like an Aspie meltdown.  Being overwhelmed from sensory input (heat and the noise and the long hours) can totally be overwhelming for Aspies.  It is not a character flaw to understand that and to realize that this isn't a good fit for him.  Aspies are often "black and white" in their thinking and I would explain that finding out that this job isn't a good fit doesn't mean that he won't be able to find a good job in the future.  (I will also point out to a PP that not sticking to this job doesn't mean that he can't understand the value of money or of hard work.)

 

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2 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

Daria, you are spot on about that but unfortunately he is not willing to explore a diagnosis, or even discuss it.

if first semester doesn’t go well and he returns home, a condition of staying here will be exploring a diagnosis, counseling, etc. I think.

 

 

I missed this, but I still think you need to have it done.  Don't give him a choice about being diagnosed.  Messing up his 1st semester will stay with him. Tell him he can quit the job, but he needs to explore being diagnosed.  

I realize he's over 18, making it difficult, but you should still push for it hard.  

 

 

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Just thinking about this more, but could he be anxious about leaving for college, too?  

And also if he was upset in a way that upset your kids, was it something where it could have a really negative consequence for him if he did something similar in a dorm?  If it was more that they were upset to see their brother upset, that’s not a concern the same way, but if he was upset in a way that could upset other students then I think that is something to think about.  It would not be very nice if he had a bad experience in the dorm.  Also — whether he pulled himself together more, or if you really helped him pull himself together like he really needed you.  

I think those are things to think about.  

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Working in the heat and being on asphalt all day would have me crying and cranky too. I would agree to have him give notice now and work that out. My job has me standing on concrete flooring with thin carpet over it for two days. It's horrible on my knees and feet. 

 

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21 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

 

 

 

I think it's too dangerous to have him continue working outside in the heat.   Last night on the news I heard about a high school student athlete in our area who died following a "conditioning workout" at school.  (We're having temps around 90 degrees this week.)

I would want him to see the doctor right away, and  I'd be afraid to have him keep working outside. 

Maybe the doctor will write a letter to the employer? 

FWIW, both of my kids (young adults, actually) are diagnosed ASD and they've always been sensitive to extremes in temperatures.   

 

Edited by Laurie
Sorry....I forgot you asked for no quotes!

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