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Also car repair issues


Janeway
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Husband commutes to work in a 2004 Honda Civic. We have spent more than 3K in the last year and a half repairing it. And now it is in being repaired right now. He insists we keep getting it repaired! This past year, with oldest kids at that classical school, I had to have them miss school a few times so his car could be repaired and my husband could take my minivan to work. School starts in a few weeks and we have no car, again. again again again. My husband says no way will he buy himself a new car (or used or anything else). 

 

I just do what he wants. But today, I am feeling miffed. I am realizing that school this fall might be a bust when I don't have a car to drive the kids to and from school. The school is too far for them to walk and there is no public transportation and it is not the public school so no school bus. They simply have to miss every single time my husband's car breaks down. 

 

Part of me thinks..we don't NEED a new car, so this is ok. I can just handle going without a car every month for a day or two. And with 9 months in the school year, this means about 9-18 missed days of schools, but likely closer to 9 days because sometimes they have inservice days and we can hopefully do some of the repairs on those days. The a/c sort of works on the car.  The power steering fluid keeps draining for some odd reason and we have had that fixed multiple times. I feel like I am being selfish to not want to go a day or two out of each month without a car. Realistically, the kids weren't exactly too upset over not being able to go to school a few times last year. 

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If he won’t get a different car, then maybe he can figure out how to get to work without using the minivan. Maybe rent a car for the few days his is in the shop? Use public transportation, carpool, taxi, or Uber? I don’t think you are being selfish for not wanting the kids to miss school. Consistent attendance is important.

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8 minutes ago, Thatboyofmine said:

I’d be upset, too, but I’m guessing the finances just aren’t there to get another car.    What about Uber on those days?  Or maybe the kids could ride with a friend?   Or dh could drop them off and pick them up?  Inconvenient, but it’s school, ykwim?  School is a priority. 

We can afford to buy a new car. But, his commute is long so Uber would be expensive. It would be cheaper to just rent a car every month. But at that rate, we might as well buy a car. Husband could drop them off, but he does not get home until after 7pm, so it would not work for him to pick them up.

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Around here, that many unexcused absences would really cause a problem and might lose your children their place at a charter school, I'd there's a waiting list. Not to mention truancy reports, especially if you have a problematic relationship with the school. Since you can afford it, I'd talk with your husband about whether he'd rather budget for rental cars our a new/used vehicle.

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Could he drop them off and then you use Uber to get them home? 

‘I kind of feel like he has no incentive to solve the issue because he’s not being inconvenienced like you are.  School is a priority.

What kind of repairs are you talking about? Stuff that can be scheduled or emergency repairs? 

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32 minutes ago, Janeway said:

We can afford to buy a new car. But, his commute is long so Uber would be expensive. It would be cheaper to just rent a car every month. But at that rate, we might as well buy a car. Husband could drop them off, but he does not get home until after 7pm, so it would not work for him to pick them up.

I don’t think renting a car occasionally is remotely comparable to buying a car. I have several friends who do not own cars because they live in big cities, but they rent about once a month for a day or two. It is far, far cheaper than owning a car, especially a new car.

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$3K in repairs over 18 months for a car of that age seems normal to me.  Fix one thing this week and next week or next month something else needs to be fixed. totally normal.

Missing school because of you not having a car is another matter and as someone else mentioned, school is a priority for the kids. that's their job and they need to get to/from school. It is  your job and the job of your DH to provide them with their transportation.

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Can you take him to work on those days, then go get him afterward so you can have the car?  My parents did this everyday when I was little -- even waking us kids up so mom could take him to work and pick him up afterward because they only had one car.

School needs to be a bigger priority.

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Seconding, thirding, etc., the suggestions that perhaps it's time you drive him to/from work on the days he has to have his car in the shop so that the kids can make it to school. "they just have to miss" isn't really feasible long term. 

If not that, a rental. Or call around and see if any of the mechanics/repair shops in your area have loaner cars, shuttle service, etc. Maybe one nearer his work. That's not all that unheard of; it would at least be worth a few phone calls, just in case. 

Or, make friends with people that go to the same school and see if they'd be willing to carpool, let you pay them for rides, etc. 

If your DH won't buy a replacement vehicle, he needs to at least come up with a way to not make your kids truant when his car needs repairs.

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59 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

Can you take him to work on those days, then go get him afterward so you can have the car?  My parents did this everyday when I was little -- even waking us kids up so mom could take him to work and pick him up afterward because they only had one car.

School needs to be a bigger priority.

Honestly, my anger over his refusal to buy himself a car in better condition when he can afford it is not likely to lessen by me spending 4 hrs a day in the car driving him. There is no place on site for food. I would have to drive an hour to take him and then an hour home. Then return in the evening. Add that to the time in the car to take the kids to and from school, which is about 45 minutes in the morning but more in the afternoon due to car lines and such. I am talking committing to 6 hrs a day in the car just to humor his refusal to get a new car. And, all the wear and tear on my car and extra gas would probably add up to more than the cost of a rental car.

 

I did text him that this is the last time. Next time, he will rent a car. I have a family member in town who has been astonished by how much I do for my husband and children. She has been living here a few months now and she has watched me to everything by myself from if he needs a tire fixed to an oil change to the repairs. And I drive the car in and either sit and wait or get a ride back home if it is a repair (I sit and wait when it is an oil change or tire). I think she is right. My husband and children just think my time is worth nothing and I am here to serve them and I am getting ticked off over it. I had a special dinner planned for tonight (my birthday this weekend) and cannot even do that because I have no car and he won't be home until close to 8pm. Now, the menu has changed to mac and cheese because that is what I already have in the house.

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