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Boys & Ballet: Advice? BTDT?


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Two of my girls are really into Russian ballet (dd13 and dd10).  They're pretty good, too.  Both of them were invited to audition for a small dance company...one of them is thinking about dancing in college, etc.  So, ballet stuff is everywhere in our house.  Anyway...

Our 3 and a half year-old boy starts ballet in August.  He has been begging to do ballet to the point where he was throwing fits all spring when we took the girls to class, because he wanted to go out on the dance floor, too.  I ended up saying "hey, why not", registering him for class and buying his shoes, dance shirt, bag, etc.  He's so excited that he'll try on his ballet shoes and practice in the dining room.  He's patiently counting down the days.  *rolling my eyes*

Anyway, the comments are already rolling in.  Class hasn't even started and his cousin has already made fun of him.  Two older relatives made weird comments about it.  Ugh.  I talked to another mom whose son quit, because other kids were making fun of him taking ballet.  Now I'm terrified.  Googling boys and ballet came up with all kinds of articles about boys being bullied by other boys for taking ballet, boys being bullied by the girls in ballet class, etc.  Did I say "ugh" already?  I have been trying to slowly "brainwash" him (lol) that it's not just for girls.  I showed him some videos of boys doing ballet...we flipped through a magazine and were looking at the men in the one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the world and how muscular they were, etc.

Anyone here have boys in ballet?  Any advice?  Any experiences?  Do people make fun of them at all?  He's so excited about it.  I don't want people to hurt his self-esteem.  We're in Texas and honestly, that's not helping.  People here are football-crazy, not exactly ballet-crazy.    

Also, we found out this summer that it's next-to-impossible to find boys ballet gear.  ?  Our dance store had an entire store full of girls' shoes, clothes and accessories and then the boys section was one tiny rack that had 2 boys' shirts hanging on it.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.   

 

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My youngest did ballet.  In Texas. ? He loved it.  Our only issue was finding a dance program that didn't have a focus on 'being princess fairies' for half of each class and weren't open to changing it. 

I'd really have raised my eyebrows at anyone who showed their insecurity enough to mock a child's choices.  That would have been squashed promptly with a few cutting words of my own.  ?  But that didn't happen.  My kids say I'm like Bernadette from Big Bang Theory - small, but extremely scary when crossed!  So I think anyone who would have said anything just didn't want to deal with the rightful aftermath of their comments.

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49 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

Our only issue was finding a dance program that didn't have a focus on 'being princess fairies' for half of each class and weren't open to changing it. 

 

Yeah, our ballet school's summer camp for the younger kids is princess-themed.  The camps for the older girls are more serious and skill-oriented.  But, yeah, he will miss out on ballet camp each summer until he gets to that point.  

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2 minutes ago, kiwik said:

Mine both did preschool ballet.  The main problem was the teacher forgetting there was a boy there.  

 

Did your school have any other boys?  I think he will be the only boy in the entire school.  She did have 3 boys, but each of them quit.

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My son took ballet for a couple of years when he was ages 3-5. He loved it and he did it for as long as he enjoyed.  Yes, we received our fair share of comments. My response was "He is happy".  DH's response was a bit longer. It started with he is happy. Then he went on to educate the naysayers (people concerned about our 3 year olds sexuality) with the names of athletes who take ballet. With a healthy dose of I should be so lucky my son is the next Baryshnikov.

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My ds is 10.  He has been dancing since he was 3. 

From 3-9 at park and rec level

Now at ballet schools and academy.

Some years at the park and rec he was the only boy.  Some of the girls did pick on him, but I think it was more because they liked him.   Other than the girls, he hasn't ever gotten negative comments.   I get why you say the Texas thing.  Maybe people say things at home or whatever.  I don't know.  And I don't care.  The park and rec level was more where I would think that would happen.  At the ballet school nope, not going to happen there.   People respect the art and dance world more and know that yes there are male dancers.  There would never be a comment about him being there.  I think they want more boys in all the schools we have been too.  If you don't have boys learning the girls have nobody dance with in a few years.  

Anyway my son loves it.  It is his passion.  

You can find plenty of boys dance gear online. 

Let him dance.  It is great for the body and the mind.  If he sticks with it great, if not it will help him in lots of other areas. 

I would think the ballet school your girls go to is very supportive of boys.  It doesn't sound like it is a park and rec program.    We make sure to make a special effort now at his age to show him the male side of dance.  Taking him to see men perform on stage, make sure that there are male teachers at his school, get him into a boys class, and to seek out schools with other boys, and also to show dance shows on tv with other guys.  

My son is extremely happy dancing and I am so proud of him.  That is all that matters. 

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My friend's ds takes ballet. He does get teased some.  His dancing is impressive, though, and people tend to shut up once they see what he can do.  I know she searched and searched to find a class for just boys.  

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Just tell people that you heard “insert football player’s name here” took ballet to improve his flexibility, speed, agility, balance, etc. Even kids who don’t continue ballet into their teens seem to hold on to better posure because of it. As homeschool PE goes, it more than checks those boxes. Most people know that it’s ok to study dance just because you enjoy it, but when you run across The Ignorant a few other reasons may get them off your back. 

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My boys did ballet from age 4 or 5 to about third grade. No one made fun of them, so we didn't have that issue. But I believe that is better to do what is right for your family and let others think what they may. I think it is awesome that your little guy is interested, and ballet schools LOVE having boys.

Can you just be firm with those who make comments? Tell them you want ballet to be a positive experience for your son and your family, and that ballet offers a lot of benefits, and so if they have negative thoughts, please keep them to themselves? It may feel awkward to be so blunt, but it may shut the comments down. If they bring it up again, you can just say, "I know your thoughts; I'm not going to discuss it with you," and change the subject or walk away.

Do you really need to talk to your cousin, etc., about your son and ballet, anyway? Don't bring it up around those that you know will criticize.

Above all, protect your son from hearing these comments, so that his love of dance is preserved.

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Many professional football players take ballet because it is excellent cross-training.

With that said, I feel the best defense for so many little social pratfalls is to not even bring it up. When you discuss these issues, you send the message that your son's hobbies are up for discussion. And if they're not, they're not. If your son brings up ballet and somebody, of whatever age, makes a disparaging comment, reply "$NAME, I'm shocked to hear you say that! That was extremely unkind!" and if you don't get an immediate apology - leave. "Grandma, I can't stand here and listen to you insult/shame my child. If you can't be nice, we have to leave." If somebody brings it up out of earshot of your son, say "We've already decided to do this" and change the subject. "So, I was changing the subject the other day, and blahblahblah..." and if changing the subject doesn't work - leave! "I don't really want to discuss my son's hobbies right now. I don't understand why you're so obsessed with it. It's really weird. If you can't drop the subject, I guess it's time to leave. Call me when you're ready to discuss sports like normal people."

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5 hours ago, Evanthe said:

Two of my girls are really into Russian ballet (dd13 and dd10).  They're pretty good, too.  Both of them were invited to audition for a small dance company...one of them is thinking about dancing in college, etc.  So, ballet stuff is everywhere in our house.  Anyway...

Our 3 and a half year-old boy starts ballet in August.  He has been begging to do ballet to the point where he was throwing fits all spring when we took the girls to class, because he wanted to go out on the dance floor, too.  I ended up saying "hey, why not", registering him for class and buying his shoes, dance shirt, bag, etc.  He's so excited that he'll try on his ballet shoes and practice in the dining room.  He's patiently counting down the days.  *rolling my eyes*

Anyway, the comments are already rolling in.  Class hasn't even started and his cousin has already made fun of him.  Two older relatives made weird comments about it.  Ugh.  I talked to another mom whose son quit, because other kids were making fun of him taking ballet.  Now I'm terrified.  Googling boys and ballet came up with all kinds of articles about boys being bullied by other boys for taking ballet, boys being bullied by the girls in ballet class, etc.  Did I say "ugh" already?  I have been trying to slowly "brainwash" him (lol) that it's not just for girls.  I showed him some videos of boys doing ballet...we flipped through a magazine and were looking at the men in the one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the world and how muscular they were, etc.

Anyone here have boys in ballet?  Any advice?  Any experiences?  Do people make fun of them at all?  He's so excited about it.  I don't want people to hurt his self-esteem.  We're in Texas and honestly, that's not helping.  People here are football-crazy, not exactly ballet-crazy.    

Also, we found out this summer that it's next-to-impossible to find boys ballet gear.  ?  Our dance store had an entire store full of girls' shoes, clothes and accessories and then the boys section was one tiny rack that had 2 boys' shirts hanging on it.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.   

 

 

My son has done ballet for three or four years - this year he's decided to do tap instead.

We've never had anyone make a comment at all.  The only time I've even picked up a small negative attitude is his friend's dad wouldn't let his friend take ballet.  But he's always been perfectly polite to us about it.

The biggest barrier I saw in terms of classes was that especially at the level for wee ones, it was very focused on girly stuff like the princess walk.  Part of that I think was the youngish teacher.  The last few years his teacher has been the studio owner and she makes a point of making sure the boys get to be masculine in their dancing, costumes, and roles.

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My 15 year old has been doing ballet for the last 3 years. The one time he was made fun of by friends he made them do a ballet workout. They didn't make fun of him again.

He is quitting this year, mainly because the studio owner picks the most embarassing costumes for the boys. The girls don't even want them on stage in the costumes.

Kelly

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My son has taken dance on and off over the years.  He does a lot of musical theater so he could get hassled for that too.  My daughter has consistently taken dance and we know other boys that dance.  My nephew majored in dance in college.  I've never heard a disparaging remark.  I would have a pat answer to shut that garbage down immediately and anyone that was overbearing or consistent on shaming my kids for any reason would see a whole lot less of us.  

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Our boys do ballet and tap. Boys are 9 and 6 -- but, in the interest of full disclosure, both boys are special needs and are oblivious to that other boys might make fun of them for it. They were the only boys at their last studio (as in, the only boys in the entire studio). The girls in the class were dolls and were exceptionally nice to our boys -- but I did notice that the boys were never invited to outside birthday (or similar) parties or playdates hosted by the girls' parents, like the other (girl) students in the class were, and a couple of the moms declined playdates or were vague with their answers, despite their daughters begging them to allow a playdate with one our boys. 

So, no advice, really. It doesn't bother our boys in the least, but it's also worth mentioning that my boys' closest friends belong to a family with a teen boy dancer (ballet) -- him and his brother babysat our boys occasionally and were good friends with our teen daughter -- and the younger children in the family, who were friends with our boys, were all girls. So, teasing from them wasn't really a concern. We aren't close to any of my family, really, so our boys rarely see their cousins, and my middle sister would quickly put into place any of the nephews who tried to tease our boys, if I didn't hear it myself, lol.

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My son did figure skating for which ballet was sometimes recommended. He did not actually do ballet, but I looked into it. 

We are in a rural area of Oregon where the big important sport is football, but there did not seem to be any negative at least about figure skating which I was worried about. There are more comments about the luck of being one boy amongst many cute girls in an envious seeming way  

There was a time when the management of the club ordered team jackets only in a girls/women’s feminine style and fit so ds did not participate in that  I thought it was a little thoughtless— but not that big of a deal  

We had an issue skating at one point with someone wanting my son to wear an embarrassing costume, it was really upsetting, unlike the jacket issue. More a difficult busybody parent than anything, but bad feelings there are related to other things that happened that led to my ds pretty much giving up the skating. 

 Ultimately I did not comply with the pressure to put my ds in a ridiculous and demeaning (and possible dangerous to skate in) outfit. Instead my ds wore his traditional men’s black skates, slacks, and shirt, with or without a gold vest for most performances  One time he wore a red shirt to match his girl partner’s dress.  And no makeup ever, but he has dark eyes, lashes, and brows which helps make those visible for an audience without makeup  

In the city we have to go to for sports other than offered at local school, there is more than one ballet school. One of them — the one I would have started ds at if he had taken ballet— has a boys only class, which, to get boys to participate in ballet more , is free!  And the boys wear white t shirts, black or dark shorts, and clean socks until they are far enough advanced for gear and clothes beyond that.  Actually I think another may have had a boys only class, but not for my son’s age and level    The one that would have worked had all its boys of all ages and levels go to one class together to start, and then add on other specific area classes as they advanced     So the boys only had everything from 3 year olds to 18 or so year olds and the most beginner to the most advanced level  They helped each other out I was told    

The ballet boys I saw here didn’t appear to have ballet bags per se.  Or anything that said “ballet” in an obvious way until nearing performance level. They could have been going to a gym, or tennis class, or PE...   One boy we knew who did do ballet had absolutely beautiful carriage and posture and was a very excellent dancer —best in the room in a very noticeable way—when our homeschool coop had a dance.  He was not doing ballet then, but had excellent sense of movement and timing to the music. ...

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13 hours ago, Evanthe said:

 

Did your school have any other boys?  I think he will be the only boy in the entire school.  She did have 3 boys, but each of them quit.

There were none at the preschool classes and at that time there were a few high school students.

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Googled free boys ballet Texas and got some hits. It’s a big state obviously, but if you have something like this available it may have more boys there—or at least be a ballet school that is reaching out to boys. 

 

I erred in writing that the free boys only ballet starts at age 3– or perhaps it did when I looked before but no longer. It currently has boys and girls together till age 9. However in googling I saw all sorts of variations. 

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My DS is your typical teenage boy, and he took ballet while in preschool.  It was not easy; it's a great core exercise and some football players use it as a conditioning exercise!  That said, my son enjoyed it while he was in preschool, but has no interest now.  Ignore the haters and let your boy be who he is; he may outgrow it or he may take to it.  As an aside, my DH, who is a stereotypical guy type cross-stitched while in the Navy on deployment because it passed the time.

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14 hours ago, kewb said:

My son took ballet for a couple of years when he was ages 3-5. He loved it and he did it for as long as he enjoyed.  Yes, we received our fair share of comments. My response was "He is happy".  DH's response was a bit longer. It started with he is happy. Then he went on to educate the naysayers (people concerned about our 3 year olds sexuality) with the names of athletes who take ballet. With a healthy dose of I should be so lucky my son is the next Baryshnikov.

 

Anyone who is concerned about a 3 year-old’s sexuality needs to get a life for themselves, and they do not deserve a polite response to their ridiculous and insulting comments.

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Our 15yo started ballet when he was 4, took a break in 6th/7th grade, and is already registered to continue this fall. When he started, he was really into the fairy/princess themed classes and camps, so that was a plus for us! As he got a little older and the classes became more serious, he really started to enjoy the physical challenge of every class, and we moved to a studio that had a pre-professional program when he was 8 or 9. There was a little teasing from some of the neighborhood boys around that age, and a few comments from other parents (we're also in Texas), but nothing that his older brothers or cold "excuse me?" couldn't put a stop to. Now that he's older, other kids (both boys and girls) tell him that they wish they'd started dancing when they were little, so they could do what he does and also have a body like his! Our youngest son also started ballet at 4, but decided it wasn't for him after a couple years. He still takes hip hop dance classes at the same studio.  

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18 hours ago, SquirrellyMama said:

He is quitting this year, mainly because the studio owner picks the most embarassing costumes for the boys. The girls don't even want them on stage in the costumes.

 

Would he possibly be able to find another school?  The school we go to has had 3 boys since we started going there 4-5 years ago.  The owner usually picks really nice costumes for the boys.  She's older and a big fan of classical musicals, so the boys usually wear a suit and tie-like costume (or something similar).  They looked very nice.  One costume for a jazz number - the boy wore jeans, T-shirt and tennis shoes.  So, at least we won't have to worry about that.  

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10 hours ago, Pen said:

Googled free boys ballet Texas and got some hits. It’s a big state obviously, but if you have something like this available it may have more boys there—or at least be a ballet school that is reaching out to boys. 

 

He IS free!  ?  Yeah, the dudes are free at a lot of the dance schools here.  They can't keep boys in ballet here, so the schools are really trying.  The school owner had tried to start an all-boys ballet class a couple of years ago, but I don't think she could get enough boys.  It was a great idea, though.

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1 minute ago, Evanthe said:

 

He IS free!  ?  Yeah, the dudes are free at a lot of the dance schools here.  They can't keep boys in ballet here, so the schools are really trying.  The school owner had tried to start an all-boys ballet class a couple of years ago, but I don't think she could get enough boys.  It was a great idea, though.

 

Jealous.  That is not how it is where I live.  I would love to save one monthly tuition. 

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20 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

With that said, I feel the best defense for so many little social pratfalls is to not even bring it up. When you discuss these issues, you send the message that your son's hobbies are up for discussion. 

Well, he actually brought it up.  He's so excited that he keeps telling family members about it.  Like his cousin who made the rude comment...he had run into his room, grabbed his dance bag and came back in to show her.  He was just really proud of it.  And I can't control people's reactions, which sucks. ?

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6 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

 

Jealous.  That is not how it is where I live.  I would love to save one monthly tuition. 

 

My only explanation is...it's Texas.  Now football.  Ack!  My other son (age 15) is playing high school football this year.  It's costing us a small fortune.  Every other boy here plays football.  

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Just now, Evanthe said:

 

My only explanation is...it's Texas.  Now football.  Ack!  My other son (age 15) is playing high school football this year.  It's costing us a small fortune.  Every other boy here plays football.  

 

I have heard that happens other places too.  It just doesn't happen by me and I want it to!

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10 minutes ago, Evanthe said:

Well, he actually brought it up.  He's so excited that he keeps telling family members about it.  Like his cousin who made the rude comment...he had run into his room, grabbed his dance bag and came back in to show her.  He was just really proud of it.  And I can't control people's reactions, which sucks. ?

 

I find myself curious as to cousin’s rude comment. Did ds realize it was rude and feel upset? 

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Just now, Pen said:

 

I find myself curious as to cousin’s rude comment. Did ds realize it was rude and feel upset? 

 

Not really...  She asked him a sarcastic question like, "Are you going to wear a tutu, also?" and I think it flew over his head.  It was just sad, because he's really proud of this and he's getting weird reactions from people.  I don't want it to destroy his confidence/self-esteem.  OTOH, the girls get glowing remarks from relatives about their ballet skills.  ?  So, I think he was expecting that, too.

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From this piece in HuffPo: https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5b02ca77e4b0a046186e2954

In order for any of the boys I interviewed to be successful in their pursuit of ballet, they needed a very strong sense of self. It was their defense mechanism: They, unlike the vast majority of boys, simply did not care if they did not fit in. They were going to be who they were, no matter what their peers ― or their parents ― thought of them.”

We live in such a liberal bubble and have such decent family outside the bubble that very few people have ever said anything that I would call toxic masculinity to ds about ballet. But I recognize that we’re very lucky in that sense. And the above quote still describes my balleyboy to a tee anyway. He’s driven to dance and everyone else can go to heck if they stand in his way.

His studio has lots of boys (again, benefits of the liberal bubble). In terms of gear - Boys Dance Too and Discount Dance have whatever you need. They need less than the girls. Until he got older, I bought $6 black girls leggings from Target and he just wore a plain white shirt. They usually need black or white shoes, but so do the girls sometimes and they’re the same shoes.

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9 minutes ago, Farrar said:

In order for any of the boys I interviewed to be successful in their pursuit of ballet, they needed a very strong sense of self.

His studio has lots of boys (again, benefits of the liberal bubble). In terms of gear - Boys Dance Too and Discount Dance have whatever you need. They need less than the girls. Until he got older, I bought $6 black girls leggings from Target and he just wore a plain white shirt. They usually need black or white shoes, but so do the girls sometimes and they’re the same shoes.

 

My kids are pretty used to being unusual in a crowd of people, so they do have a pretty strong sense of self (but not the 3 year-old).  My kids are Asian and they are almost always the only Asian kids when they go to an activity (we looked it up once and only 3% of the population in TX is Asian).  We've been stared at before, etc.  So, the older ones are pretty good at being different and don't care.  But, the 3 year-old isn't to that point (I mean, I don't think he realizes he's Asian or heck, even that he's a guy).

Yes, for our ballet school, he needed black shoes, socks, shorts and a T-shirt.  He wanted a dance bag, so we bought him a bag with a cartoon lion on it and he calls that his "dance bag". Lol.  I also bought one of those form-fitting boys' dance t-shirts, but now that I think about it, he has kind of a baby-belly...so he'll be the only one in class with a belly.  

Do you guys just use any socks?  I saw online that they sell boys dance socks, but no one had toddler sizes.  

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11 minutes ago, Evanthe said:

 

My kids are pretty used to being unusual in a crowd of people, so they do have a pretty strong sense of self (but not the 3 year-old).  My kids are Asian and they are almost always the only Asian kids when they go to an activity (we looked it up once and only 3% of the population in TX is Asian).  We've been stared at before, etc.  So, the older ones are pretty good at being different and don't care.  But, the 3 year-old isn't to that point (I mean, I don't think he realizes he's Asian or heck, even that he's a guy).

Yes, for our ballet school, he needed black shoes, socks, shorts and a T-shirt.  He wanted a dance bag, so we bought him a bag with a cartoon lion on it and he calls that his "dance bag". Lol.  I also bought one of those form-fitting boys' dance t-shirts, but now that I think about it, he has kind of a baby-belly...so he'll be the only one in class with a belly.  

Do you guys just use any socks?  I saw online that they sell boys dance socks, but no one had toddler sizes.  

He says he likes the special dance socks I got at the shop, but they were $$$ and I see zero difference with basic women's socks. They need to be on the thin side and male socks seem to be thicker. When he was little, we used girls' dress socks that were plain.

I think the sense of self grows. If he's excited about it, I'd just act like haters gonna hate and ignore the comments. Shield him as you can. Act like it's normal. Because it is.

We're going through a terrible time with ballet right now (I posted a bit about it in the dance parent thread a couple weeks ago) but he still adores it on every possible level. And it's so totally a part of his identity at this point. And most of the things it has taught him are great - just like your girls.

 

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37 minutes ago, Evanthe said:

 

My kids are pretty used to being unusual in a crowd of people, so they do have a pretty strong sense of self (but not the 3 year-old).  My kids are Asian and they are almost always the only Asian kids when they go to an activity (we looked it up once and only 3% of the population in TX is Asian).  We've been stared at before, etc.  So, the older ones are pretty good at being different and don't care.  But, the 3 year-old isn't to that point (I mean, I don't think he realizes he's Asian or heck, even that he's a guy).

Yes, for our ballet school, he needed black shoes, socks, shorts and a T-shirt.  He wanted a dance bag, so we bought him a bag with a cartoon lion on it and he calls that his "dance bag". Lol.  I also bought one of those form-fitting boys' dance t-shirts, but now that I think about it, he has kind of a baby-belly...so he'll be the only one in class with a belly.  

Do you guys just use any socks?  I saw online that they sell boys dance socks, but no one had toddler sizes.  

Aw, I’m just going to swoon for a minute picturing him and his baby belly in his ballet get up. 

May this be the beginning of something wonderful for him!

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My 12 year old son is in ballet. Not one person has ever said anything stupid, either to him or to me. I can’t imagine my response, but it would likely be, I hope you’re kidding and not just a sexist idiot. Which is probably why nobody has said anything. ? I focused on finding him a school with boys, because yes...instructors often forget there is a boy there. On the upside, they often feature prominently in recitals. 

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6 hours ago, Evanthe said:

 

Would he possibly be able to find another school?  The school we go to has had 3 boys since we started going there 4-5 years ago.  The owner usually picks really nice costumes for the boys.  She's older and a big fan of classical musicals, so the boys usually wear a suit and tie-like costume (or something similar).  They looked very nice.  One costume for a jazz number - the boy wore jeans, T-shirt and tennis shoes.  So, at least we won't have to worry about that.  

Those costumes sound perfect! My son isn't into dance enough to go to another city for dance. I'm fine with that. He runs cross country, track, and would like to try tennis this coming year. He'll still be active.

Kelly

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Boys in dance is an amazing and very awesome experience!

 

Yes, there was bullying. So, we went to home schooling. And my husband's side of the family decided I was "turning him gay." Ummm..yeah....my husband's side of the family are not the kind of people we should be around anyway. They are terrible people. It took some switching of studios to find one that had a good boys program. And friends were re-arranged. But honestly, I have no interest in friends who have those attitudes and beliefs. 

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 Well, he actually brought it up.  He's so excited that he keeps telling family members about it.  Like his cousin who made the rude comment...he had run into his room, grabbed his dance bag and came back in to show her.  He was just really proud of it.  And I can't control people's reactions, which sucks.

 

No, you can't, but you can control yours. If you don't want people badmouthing your son, you can enforce that rule - especially when they are a. guests in your home b. minors who are presumed to still be learning manners (in which case it's your auntly duty to correct her when you hear her say mean things) or c. both. "Niece! I'm shocked! Why would you say that? That sounded really mean. We don't talk like that in this house."

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With the niece, I'd try to take an educational role. "Oh no, boys don't wear tutus. See, here are some pictures of famous male ballet dancers and what they wear." With adults I'd be much more annoyed and would probably still take the same route of re-education, but I'd probably do a poor job keeping condescension out of my voice.

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