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Empty Nest Blues


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I know I'm not technically a homeschooler any more now that dd has graduated, but can I still hang out with the cool kids (you all, of course) on the playground?

Dd leaves in 5 weeks, and I am really not coping. As in ugly cry almost every day not coping. And we are selling our house, which is turning into a nightmare worthy of a made-for-television miniseries. So that's not helping anything. Nor is the insanity of peri menopause. (I think I remember what sleep is. And I vaguely recall a time when I wasn’t a walking space heater.) So I guess I need some... oh, I don’t know...sympathy? advice? hugs? a swift kick in the rump to knock me out of my funk? Be gentle, though. I have already burst into tears when the lender's appraiser showed up ( without a word of warning ) just as I was getting out of the shower this morning, I was sobbing about how I hadn’t had time to load the dishwasher or wipe the doggie nose prints off the front window, and get the house presentable for photos, and he was just standing there looking like a deer in headlights saying, “ But ma'am your house IS clean.” Not to me, it’s not, dude! ?

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You've got a lot going on. ?

I've had a perfect storm of job hunting, selling the family home, and having my oldest away with the military with minimal communication for many months. I'm finding my way now, but there were times when I was very unfocused. Accept it, and just go on. Selling and having them grow up is tough, no matter how you dice it.

I found that all the typical advice of getting exercise, eating well, and going to bed on time even if you don't sleep helped. 

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That’s a lot of stress and a lot of change happening at once. And as the wife/mom, I bet you feel that the presentation of the house is a reflection on you. Be kind to yourself. Find a way to de-stress if you possibly can.   Hugs to you.

 

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Hugs. You have a lot going on.

Kids leaving home is hard. Even if we are happy for them, know this is what they should be doing, love to see them soar. I had a very rough time the summer before DD left and the first semester she was gone. Couldn't go into her room without crying. It took me two years to find my new normal. 

Give yourself permission to grieve. It is a loss. Be gentle to yourself.

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2 hours ago, I talk to the trees said:

I know I'm not technically a homeschooler any more now that dd has graduated, but can I still hang out with the cool kids (you all, of course) on the playground?

Dd leaves in 5 weeks, and I am really not coping. As in ugly cry almost every day not coping. And we are selling our house, which is turning into a nightmare worthy of a made-for-television miniseries. So that's not helping anything. Nor is the insanity of peri menopause. (I think I remember what sleep is. And I vaguely recall a time when I wasn’t a walking space heater.) So I guess I need some... oh, I don’t know...sympathy? advice? hugs? a swift kick in the rump to knock me out of my funk? Be gentle, though. I have already burst into tears when the lender's appraiser showed up ( without a word of warning ) just as I was getting out of the shower this morning, I was sobbing about how I hadn’t had time to load the dishwasher or wipe the doggie nose prints off the front window, and get the house presentable for photos, and he was just standing there looking like a deer in headlights saying, “ But ma'am your house IS clean.” Not to me, it’s not, dude! ?

(((((I talk to trees)))))

I've been an empty nester for over 20 years, and I still hang out here, so of course you're welcome. ❤️

Hang in there, girl friend. You will live to tell about it. I promise.

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4 hours ago, Selkie said:

Hugs! That's a lot of change going on all at once. Just the thought of trying to make my house presentable for photos makes me want to sob!

 

Exactly! So much change that centers around your "nest" which is the place that usually makes us feel secure and relaxed. 

Do you have IRL friends with whom you can get a cup of coffee or go jogging or something? I think this may be one of those times when we need IRL friends to help us shore up the scaffolding so we can hold on to something that is not changing - their friendship. 

Deep breathing exercises several times a day...walking and enjoying nature, getting a massage - those are some of the things that make a difference for me.

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I mean this in a nice way, but I really think you should be a bit of a mess right now!  You have a lot of life transitions going on all at once.

It sounds like a silly cliche, but just take one thing, one step, one moment at a time.   Take deep breaths.   

And please be very, very, kind to yourself right now.   

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I'm there, too. 

Change is hard. It just is. There's a lot of mourning going on here, and it catches me at odd times. I cry a lot, too. ❤️ 

I remind myself that only open hands receive, and there are gifts coming. I just have to let go of what I'm holding  so tightly to now. 

Oh Honey, it's hard. 

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