Poll: s/o I described my grocery store interaction. Is this a typical experience in your part of the world?

[Lisa R.]

I just went to Trader Joe's today. I described my experience in the poll. Would this be typical in your area? If so, would it bother you or would you be ok with it? Note: While this happened at Trader Joe's, it could've easily happened at my local grocery store.

It seemed typical to me. In addition to this check out, I was looking for a particular item and stopped a worker. He told me they discontinued it, told me a similar product, and offered his opinion on both. His co-worker also chimed it with his opinion on these two items.

Upon leaving the store, 2-3 cars stopped to let me cross to reach my car even though I wasn't in a crosswalk.

None of this would have been noticeable to me had I not read the New England thread earlier today. I'm interested in your responses. If you're comfortable, please say the region you reside if you're in the US or the country if you're from outside of US.

I'm in Texas.

[alisoncooks]

Typical for where I am (NC) but I will say that TJ's employees are a step above, in terms of excessive friendliness/helpfulness. 

[mominco]

I am in Dallas and this is typical at my local Kroger,But I know many of the cashier's there as I have been going to that location for a long time!

[MEmama]

Yeah, pretty typical in my part of Maine. Maybe a bit over the top, but normal enough. 

The cars stopping for pedestrians...definitely normal. In my town, if you even walk near a crosswalk cars will stop. Same for bikes at intersections, even if the cars have the right of way. :)

[shinyhappypeople]

I'm in California.

(1) Typical and I like it.  It would be weird if they didn't give this spiel.

(2) It totally depends.  50/50 chance of it happening.  I don't really care one way or the other.

(3) Doesn't usually happen.  I don't really care one way or the other.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Cut it all to about 1/3 and that would be typical. Obligatory (as in scripted) "Hello, did you find everything you needed?" And either a comment about the holiday or about the bags but not both, but only from chatty cashiers. 

[scholastica]

Typical and enjoyable where I am. Number 3 is particular to Trader Joe's, though. They are trained to sell like that, even to open stuff to give you a sample.

[Clemsondana]

Trader Joe's employees seem to be like that everywhere, but in TN that wouldn't be unusual anywhere.  I accumulate cooking tips and recipes chatting with cashiers, and it wouldn't be unusual to find out where to buy something if you offered a compliment.  

[Lady Florida.]

All of that is typical and yes I'm fine with it. I might even say it's expected. 

I'm in East Central Florida.

ETA: I've never been in a Trader Joe's but that's typical behavior in any grocery store but it's most common in Publix. Even in Aldi while they scan your items at lightning speed cashiers find a way to make small talk.

[PeachyDoodle]

All totally normal here. Especially the part about cars stopping to let pedestrians pass. I liked that most of all when I was juggling a shopping cart and two young kids.

[Miss Tick]

The first one seems to be required by law, everything else would be discouraged by my lack of eye contact. I prefer to grocery shop with minimal conversation with anyone. It is my relief from my chatty home life.

However! Trader Joe's is a while different thing and that is exactly weekday I would expect from there, so that is ok. I never get to go there by myself anyway.

[rebcoola]

I'm in Easter Washington I would say this is typical of most stores not Safeway.

 

[HomeAgain]

New England, and yes. ?  I went to the grocery store this morning.  Chatted with the clerk about what we were having for dinner when she saw the fennel bulb and asked how we use that.  Nodded agreeably at the fact that the rain hadn't started yet and talked about our reusable produce bags and how we just can't find them on the shelf anymore because once they're for sale, they're gone.  Said our goodbyes and thank yous to the 80yo bagger who was chatting with our 8yo ds.

Went from there, to home, where I intercepted the postal worker so she didn't have to lug a heavy box to the door and had a similar conversation about the weather and how glad she was that the breeze came in.  Waved to my neighbor who was out walking his dogs and after he returned the greeting I went inside to sort through ds's new school books. 

[regentrude]

Typical, except for the comment about the bags. I shop at aldi where almost everybody brings bags or at Kroger where I use the self checkouts 

 

I am in the midwest

[moonflower]

entirely typical for (ime) suburban midwest and small-town colorado

less typical for urban Colorado (like, really urban) unless you're at Whole Foods.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

Typical.  And leaves room for a chatty response or a more quick.  "Yes, thank you.",  "Fine", "Thanks!" with a smile to keep it from seeming too abrupt if I just don't feel like chatting back. 

[Carrie12345]

So, the thing with commenting on my items... Sometimes cashiers will say something reflexively, then look at me like I’m nuts if I blather in about the yumminess or the sale or the different ways I use it. And sometimes cashiers will launch into a tmi monologue about their dietary needs. 

I cant win, lol. I like self check out!

[maggie18]

Typical except for the bags. I very rarely see anyone bringing their own bags to the grocery store. 

[Kassia]

Typical, but depends on the cashier.  I don't like too much small talk and I really hate it when cashiers comment on my purchases.  I prefer self-checkout to avoid all of that but sometimes I have too much stuff or it's too much of a hassle.

[Twolittleboys]

Not typical at all. I live in Germany though and at least in larger stores there is usually not much interaction. Not sure how I feel about it though - in general I would prefer more small talk (and appreciate it when in the US) BUT I don't really like it if it gets too personal. I can't really say though where I draw the line. I think I would like it just fine in a bigger town, but we live in a small town so I see the same people working in stores all the time and I am not sure I want them to notice how much frozen pizza I buy etc.

[Mimm]

I'm from TX and now live in the midwest. These interactions are typical. Last time I was at Target, I ended up chatting with my cashier and another employee that wandered by about our dogs' anxiety and different options of what to do about it. We were standing there for a few minutes after I was completely done. I only walked away when another customer came into the check out line. ?

I'd have a hard time living in a place so cold and unfriendly, even though I am an introvert, and generally somewhat aloof. Aloof compared to Texans, probably not aloof compared to New Englanders. ? To always feel you've said the wrong thing and are spreading dislike of you everywhere you go has to wear on you a bit.

ETA: I didn't even buy anything dog related at Target that day...

[Pawz4me]

Typical here in my part of NC at the stores I shop at most (not TJ's), except maybe for the "thanks for bringing reusable bags." I've never had a cashier thank me for bringing them, but I have gotten comments about how nice they are.

I'm fine with it.

[Dmmetler]

I’m in TN. If anything, that would be relatively subdued :).

[elegantlion]

At Trader Joe's I might expect it, but there is only one an hour away. Other stores, not so much. Cashiers I expect some hello, how are you, even if it's just the pleasantries. Otherwise, I'm watching to make sure prices ring up correctly. 

[dirty ethel rackham]

1 hour ago, Lisa R. said:

I just went to Trader Joe's today. I described my experience in the poll. Would this be typical in your area? If so, would it bother you or would you be ok with it? Note: While this happened at Trader Joe's, it could've easily happened at my local grocery store.

It seemed typical to me. In addition to this check out, I was looking for a particular item and stopped a worker. He told me they discontinued it, told me a similar product, and offered his opinion on both. His co-worker also chimed it with his opinion on these two items.

Upon leaving the store, 2-3 cars stopped to let me cross to reach my car even though I wasn't in a crosswalk.

None of this would have been noticeable to me had I not read the New England thread earlier today. I'm interested in your responses. If you're comfortable, please say the region you reside if you're in the US or the country if you're from outside of US.

I'm in Texas.

This is typical at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods in my Chicago suburb.  At other stores, the folks aren't nearly as chatty.  Perhaps because they aren't paid as well .?

[Guest]

56 minutes ago, Tibbie Dunbar said:

Cut it all to about 1/3 and that would be typical. Obligatory (as in scripted) "Hello, did you find everything you needed?" And either a comment about the holiday or about the bags but not both, but only from chatty cashiers. 

Exactly. I am in the Mid-Atlantic and this is what I would say. They nearly always ask if you found what you needed, but few cashiers act like they are delighted to serve. I like friendliness, but I don’t care for very chatty clerks and I really don’t much like comments on my purchases. It just feels a little scrutinizing. I have heard, “Whoa! That’s a lot of milk you got there!” (And it’s not even a gallon per person per day! ? @Scarlett) or, “Looks like someone’s having Italian tonight! Or, “You must be having a party!” 

Maryland is an interesting mix of “southernness” and “northernness,” though. A lot of it depends where you are in the state. 

I do like and expect store staff to be helpful if I ask for something in particular, though. One time, a Harris Teeter employee took me exactly to the location of Crystalized Ginger (rather than just vaguely waving a hand and saying Aisle 7) and then he gave it to me, no charge. That stuff does stick in my head. And their deli personnel are awesome. They are super courteous. 

[Library Momma]

I'm in CT.  All are typical but more so with middle aged or older employees.  The teens at the grocery store rarely chat as much as the older ones do.  They usually only seem to make an effort if they are friends or acquaintances of my kids.

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Quill said:

Exactly. I am in the Mid-Atlantic and this is what I would say. They nearly always ask if you found what you needed, but few cashiers act like they are delighted to serve. I like friendliness, but I don’t care for very chatty clerks and I really don’t much like comments on my purchases. It just feels a little scrutinizing. I have heard, “Whoa! That’s a lot of milk you got there!” (And it’s not even a gallon per person per day! ? @Scarlett) or, “Looks like someone’s having Italian tonight! Or, “You must be having a party!” 

Maryland is an interesting mix of “southernness” and “northernness,” though. A lot of it depends where you are in the state. 

I do like and expect store staff to be helpful if I ask for something in particular, though. One time, a Harris Teeter employee took me exactly to the location of Crystalized Ginger (rather than just vaguely waving a hand and saying Aisle 7) and then he gave it to me, no charge. That stuff does stick in my head. And their deli personnel are awesome. They are super courteous. 

My dad worked for Safeway for like 40 years.  He is appalled when employees wave toward an isle.  Not proper he says, not proper at all.  He also had a very difficult time dealing with having to put his own bags in the cart at Wal-Mart.  He resisted WM for some of those reasons, but mom is like 'um, here is the difference in price.' and he was convinced.

[SamanthaCarter]

Pretty typical, maybe a bit on the bubbly side, and never at Walmart-mart. Mountains of Virginia. 

[marbel]

Suburbs of Philly, typical store interaction at most stores, not all.  For sure TJs. 

The parking lot thing would not have happened. Take your life in your hands in most parking lots 'round here.

[lavender's green]

Growing up in midwestern town: typical

My short time in Boston: somewhat atypical. Depended a lot on where you went.

Here in NC: typical, but maybe add in a couple of sweethearts and darlings depending on who's talking. I don't mind it.

When my DH and I were newlyweds in Michigan, an older cashier at our regular store was *this close* to inviting us to visit her farm. We still talk about her sometimes. :)

[Daria]

1 hour ago, Lisa R. said:

I just went to Trader Joe's today. I described my experience in the poll. Would this be typical in your area? If so, would it bother you or would you be ok with it? Note: While this happened at Trader Joe's, it could've easily happened at my local grocery store.

It seemed typical to me. In addition to this check out, I was looking for a particular item and stopped a worker. He told me they discontinued it, told me a similar product, and offered his opinion on both. His co-worker also chimed it with his opinion on these two items.

Upon leaving the store, 2-3 cars stopped to let me cross to reach my car even though I wasn't in a crosswalk.

None of this would have been noticeable to me had I not read the New England thread earlier today. I'm interested in your responses. If you're comfortable, please say the region you reside if you're in the US or the country if you're from outside of US.

I'm in Texas.

 

I would have thought the check out person was a little more enthusiastic than usual, and I might have been annoyed if I felt like it was slowing things down, or I might have thought it was charming.  Some of that would depend on whether there was a line at the register.  

The drivers stopping doesn't surprise me at all.  There's a difference between kindness and chattiness.  People in the NE aren't less kind, they just have different social norms about socializing with strangers.  

I'm in MD.

[Liz CA]

All typical for our area. Dh gets a little tired of being asked what he is doing with some food - as in how are you going to prepare it. One time he answered the question: "What are you going to do with it?" with "I am going to devour it."

TJ employees must get special training with recommending food items or commending their customers on their excellent choices. This type of stuff happens a lot at TJ around here but not so much elsewhere - except at a smaller, local co-op but people are starting to know us there so there is the familiarity factor.

[Tanaqui]

Typical enough where I am - but less interaction is also fairly normal! It varies according to person, and a little bit according to store. In some stores they're required to do the "Did you find everything?" line.

[Garga]

The first one seems like something everyone is required to say.  The cashiers say it in a polite, but slightly distracted tone. The second happens once in a blue moon if the cashier’s personality is such that asks things like that, but it’s not common.  The third would be very unusual.  Cars in the parking lot pretty much always let pedestrians have right of way, crosswalk or no.  

Pennsylvania.

[solascriptura]

As I went through the poll, I could tell immediately that you were speaking of Trader Joe's.  I didn't even read your first post.  I'm pretty sure that's across the board with all TJ's.  Aldi cashiers ask the first question all the time too.  I also go to some stores where the cashiers don't say anything at all, not even hello.  I expect all sorts of interactions from cashiers.  

[SeaConquest]

I mostly shop online these days, but that is pretty typical of where I generally shop (TJ's or Whole Foods) when I go into the store. The only thing that wouldn't be super common anymore is the thanks about the bags because it is now California law to bring your own bags. I am in San Diego.

[HS Mom in NC]

Typical in the SW where I'm from.
Typical here in NC where I just moved. 
I could do without the chit chat.
If I don't have a week's worth of groceries and there's a self-check out option, I do that.
I don't mind the, "Hello. Did you find everything..." question because that seems appropriate to the situation.  I have heard people answer no, tell them what they couldn't find, and the cashier sent the bagger to go get it for them. "Thank you for shopping with us" is fine with me too.
In both places employees seem at least content and sometimes enthusiastic about doing their jobs.

I think, "How are you?" when the person asking doesn't actually want to know the honest detailed answer, when it's not an appropriate place to discuss how you really are, and as a substitute for hello all count as crazy talk. Not clinically insane crazy, just weird, out of place, mild crazy talk.   If you don't really want to hear all the good and bad going on with someone, if you don't have the time to hear all about it, and/or it's not an appropriate place to actually talk about the real answer, then please, please, please switch to "Hello, it's nice to see you" because that's what you really mean.  If you don't say what you mean then you don't mean what you say, which is a bad thing.  I get the good intention and the habit of it, but just because something is traditional doesn't mean we have to stick with it if it isn't appropriate to the situation.

[happypamama]

The Aldi cashiers in my area often sound similar to that.  I'm there often, so several of them recognize me, and vice versa, so we'll chat about what new products we've tried.  I think it's nice.  They don't chat if they're really busy, but they are generally polite and friendly.  The cashiers at our local Giant are also very nice, although not likely as chatty.  I live in south central PA, where people are generally very friendly.l

[Rachel]

First two are pretty typical, last one happens at Trader Joe’s and occasionally the gas station. I’m pretty sure at the gas station I frequent they are supposed to try to upsell certain items.

 

[NorthwestMom]

3 hours ago, rebcoola said:

I'm in Easter Washington I would say this is typical of most stores not Safeway.

 

I'm in Western Washington and this is typical of my neighborhood Safeway. ?

[Farrar]

First is script. They're pretty much required to ask at most grocery stores I go to if I found everything okay and start with a friendly opener.

Second two are sometimes. Some individuals do, others don't. Pretty much every level of interaction seems normal around here, honestly. There's one store I go to where the cashiers are always talking to each other during the day, especially when it's busy. They barely seem to pay attention to you. Which is fine with me. But I'm also okay with the small talk. Whatever.

Right now I live urban, mid-Atlantic. IME, in the south and in inner cities, more chatty, slower checkouts. In the north, no chatting, usually faster checkouts.

[EMS83]

For the last one, it's not typical here, but I'm completely ambivalent about the presence or absence of commentary on my dip purchases.  ?  People aren't like bubbly cheerful here, but most do ask many of those nice questions.  I'm not very chatty, but I'm not put off by chit chat either.  I used to be a lot better at it than I am now.  

[6packofun]

My answers are very personal to me and my experience, HOWEVER, I have a dd who works at a grocery store and she is a pretty talkative cashier.  She would say ANY of the above things, but only if she gauged that the customer was ok with small talk, kwim?  So I wonder if my "not typical" answers are because cashiers are able to tell that I'm not a chit-chat type of person.  If *I* ask a question or feel like chatting, though, usually a cashier will have a little conversation with me and it's not weird at all.

I live in northeast Ohio.  Most cashiers are polite and pleasant, not overly friendly or talkative unless YOU start chatting.

[nixpix5]

None of it is too much for me and depending upon the store, may or may not happen here in the PNW. I love friendly people so it is a preference for me. 

[KungFuPanda]

1. “Hello. Did you find everything you needed?” This, said in a polite-but-not-excited voice is more than enough. We don’t need to bring my entire day into this transaction. It’s not professional or efficient or any of your business.

2.  Again, not your business. What if my day sucked? Do we really want to discuss it while the line forms? Now I’ve got to lie yo keep things from getting too personal? 

3. Weirdly excited about dip. Why are you commenting on my grocery choices? PLEASE don’t have an opinion about the tampons that are next on the belt  

 

I get southern manners. I ‘can’ speak that language because it’s my first language. I also totally understand urban professionalism and efficiency. In some ways it’s more polite to not ask personal questions and to keep the line moving. 

[Wheres Toto]

5 hours ago, Lisa R. said:

I just went to Trader Joe's today. I described my experience in the poll. Would this be typical in your area? If so, would it bother you or would you be ok with it? Note: While this happened at Trader Joe's, it could've easily happened at my local grocery store.

It seemed typical to me. In addition to this check out, I was looking for a particular item and stopped a worker. He told me they discontinued it, told me a similar product, and offered his opinion on both. His co-worker also chimed it with his opinion on these two items.

Upon leaving the store, 2-3 cars stopped to let me cross to reach my car even though I wasn't in a crosswalk.

None of this would have been noticeable to me had I not read the New England thread earlier today. I'm interested in your responses. If you're comfortable, please say the region you reside if you're in the US or the country if you're from outside of US.

I'm in Texas.

 

I'm in NJ.  Only the first one is typical where I shop.  The additional small talk would be unusual, and when it does happen I find it uncomfortable.  I'm concentrating on watching things ring up correctly, getting out my debit card or cash, paying, etc.   I'm not really interested in a conversation.

The cars stopping for you to cross WOULD be typical around here.  NJ has a law about stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks, even "unmarked crosswalks", and in a lot of the towns with downtown shopping areas, people regularly just walk out in front of cars without looking, crosswalk or not.  So IME, drivers stop for pedestrians wherever they are.

[Jean in Newcastle]

One of our cashiers was just voted  as an influential member of our small city precisely  because people recognized how much he genuinely cares about them. Sure, most cashiers are just passing the time while doing a repetitive job. I don’t begrudge them that. It makes standing in line just a bit less boring for me too. They aren’t wasting time. Their hands are working as fast as they can. But I am smart enough to know those who are genuinely connecting with people and those who voted for Cashier Steve have proved that they can do that too. 

[KathyBC]

Maybe I'm from too small a town, but this really, really depends on the cashier. And on circumstances. Sometimes it will depend on their mood. Sometimes it will depend on my mood. If it's the height of a busy day during tourist season, both cashiers and customers may not want to small talk. If it's a quiet day in the dead of winter when everyone is starting to feel cabin-feverish, there may be much more small talk. The older cashiers tend to be chattier than the new cashiers in their teens and twenties, trying to figure everything out. People tend to read body language - eye contact, whatever - and adjust accordingly.

[Mergath]

I'm from MN. It could be typical. It depends. I've had conversations like this, and I've had cashiers who didn't say a word. Though I do seem to get chattier cashiers more often than not, and then they tend to way overshare, lol. I joke to dh that I've got one of those faces that invites people to tell me everything that's going on in their lives. I've gone to the grocery store to buy one thing and by the time I leave, I know how many kids my cashier has, what school they go to, why her son doesn't like his teacher, how things are going in her marriage... I don't mind most of the time. I'm starting to think I missed my calling as a therapist.