Thoughts about church

[KungFuPanda]

Is it possible that there are people in the church that feel like a once-weekly snack, junky though it may be, does not meet the biblical definition of gluttony? Do you have a service every day? Or is it just too frustrating to provide junky allergy-free treats for your kids?

I know people who have a fit about “junk food everywhere” when in reality their kid is getting offered a cookie once a week. That’s just a level of food stress I have trouble relating to. Just say “no thank you” and eat your apple. 

[Katy]

48 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

Is it possible that there are people in the church that feel like a once-weekly snack, junky though it may be, does not meet the biblical definition of gluttony? Do you have a service every day? Or is it just too frustrating to provide junky allergy-free treats for your kids?

I know people who have a fit about “junk food everywhere” when in reality their kid is getting offered a cookie once a week. That’s just a level of food stress I have trouble relating to. Just say “no thank you” and eat your apple. 

 

Not every church has a fairly healthy option like a single cookie or an apple.  Lots of them have multiple services per week and hand out candy coated in food coloring MANY times in less than an hour.  I had a 2nd grade Wednesday night director say I was over-reacting to my objecting to giving a kid two packets of skittles, two suckers, a full-size snickers bar, and God only knows what else while she was there for less than an hour - that stash is what she had left over when I came to pick her up! And that was AFTER I specifically asked to please not give her red dye because the pediatrician asked us to try avoiding it for a few months. I would have been thrilled with a single cookie, especially if it was homemade!

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I've been in a lot of churches in the Midwest and I've never seen this. Even an evangelical mega church that might seem like the type, doesn't. A churchwide supper on Wednesday nights (that has actually morphed into a community dinner for families in need), a moderate snack at VBS, the occasional cupcake-and-fruit reception, animal crackers in the nursery, and probably some coffee cakes in a few of the older adult Sunday school classes. We serve coffee and tea in the lobby on Sundays but no foods. There is not junk food everywhere and no expectation or culture of constantly feeding the kids. 

With this church's decision to stop a lot of in-house extras and divert to feeding the hungry of the community through various ministries, and with our other church's inner city needs and ministries, I have seen for myself that the church is more sensitive toward diversity within the congregation and more effective in the community, if we pay attention to these details and keep the focus where it needs to be.

So I would probably look for a different church where if it's all about food, there's hospitality with moderation for those who have enough, and liberality toward those in need.

[Penelope]

 

nm 

 

[TechWife]

5 minutes ago, Tibbie Dunbar said:

IWith this church's decision to stop a lot of in-house extras and divert to feeding the hungry of the community through various ministries, and with our other church's inner city needs and ministries, I have seen for myself that the church is more sensitive toward diversity within the congregation and more effective in the community, if we pay attention to these details and keep the focus where it needs to be.

So I would probably look for a different church where if it's all about food, there's hospitality with moderation for those who have enough, and liberality toward those in need.

This is lovely, especially that last sentence. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[katilac]

If I wasn't involved in Sunday School, I'd probably buy a bunch of fun stickers and give it to the teachers, "I wanted to help out and thought these might make fun prizes!" and then hope for the best. You could also buy some snacks that are at least a bit healthier than the constant candy parade. Other parents might follow your lead. 

To truly change the culture, you would have to be involved. If I were involved, I'd start slowly with suggesting healthier food choices, non-food rewards, and more spaced-out rewards. Gradually, I would attempt to change the entire mindset, because I do think that constant rewards are not only not needed, but interfere with true learning. Preferably, you want them to recognize and enjoy the inherent satisfaction of memorizing a verse or answering a question correctly. The accomplishment is its own reward. Acknowledgment is also a powerful motivator. 

"I know you've been having trouble with that verse, but you stuck with it until you got it right!" can be more powerful than one more Gummi Bear. It can take time to change habits, though. You'd have to be prepared to be proactive and do a lot of the work yourself at the beginning - make it easier for them to use non-food rewards, and they probably will. People will generally follow the path of least resistance. 

 

 

[ktgrok]

1 hour ago, Katy said:

 

Not every church has a fairly healthy option like a single cookie or an apple.  Lots of them have multiple services per week and hand out candy coated in food coloring MANY times in less than an hour.  I had a 2nd grade Wednesday night director say I was over-reacting to my objecting to giving a kid two packets of skittles, two suckers, a full-size snickers bar, and God only knows what else while she was there for less than an hour - that stash is what she had left over when I came to pick her up! And that was AFTER I specifically asked to please not give her red dye because the pediatrician asked us to try avoiding it for a few months. I would have been thrilled with a single cookie, especially if it was homemade!

Wow, that's crazy!!!! I mean, maybe for a holiday party once a year, but regularly??

[Loowit]

Our church has a coffee hour every Sunday between services.  It is mostly just cookies and coffee.  A lot of people grab a few cookies on their way to Sunday School.  They also do a dinner every Wednesday night before various age group programs.  I have never been because DH doesn't get home that early, plus I am not big on eating events.  My kids have gone a few times and said it is just soup and sometimes sandwiches, so fairly healthy I would guess.

However, youth group always serves a ton of sugary sweets and fast food take out.  I am not a fan of it.  It is actually one of the reasons youngest doesn't want to attend anymore.  He can't have the food due to allergies, and people make a big deal about him not eating.  Even a lot of the games involve food and so DS has to sit out.  It is very uncomfortable for him.  I have offered to send him an alternative, but he doesn't want to stand out even more.  It makes me sad.

But I have also noticed that it is not just church that has unhealthy food overload.  It seems like almost every activity my kids attend(ed) feels the need for snacks, even if it is only an hour long.  I don't get it.  When it was soccer games, I was the mom that brought healthier versions of treats, still kid friendly stuff, but less processed.  In scouts we try to limit snacks to more healthy options, which works for the most part.   We do have a few parties each year was some pizza and candy, but most of the time we are trying to be more food aware, and there are not weekly snacks.

[Jean in Newcastle]

And I was frustrated because they handed out candy to the kids at Halloween and Easter!  I don't necessarily mind it being there for people who want it.  My kids have never felt pressured to take food that they didn't want and candy wasn't appealing to them.  But my kids had food allergies and when it was directly handed to them it was just a big waste because we would toss it.

[Katy]

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

Wow, that's crazy!!!! I mean, maybe for a holiday party once a year, but regularly??

 

Yeah, I didn't know what to think about it either.  The church is very evangelical, and so supportive of foster parents that many families we know in the area go there.  But at the same time the children's ministry director is kind, but probably over 300 pounds.  From the few times I've been around her I get the impression she eats very poorly, a ton of junk food, and considers sugar = love. And I say that as someone who's struggled with my weight since I was 25 and went on 6 courses of prednisone.  The whole incident has made us avoid getting very involved there. They do have the best worship band in town though, which I find very comforting when I'm stressed and uncertain, especially when we had some difficult foster situations.  So we still go there from time to time, but I can't see us getting more involved.

I appreciate how non-political they are.  Other churches in town tend to be strongly so, and it angers me.